


Until I See You Again

by Annsthesuper



Series: Quintessential [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam (Voltron) Lives, Angst, Black Paladin Lance (Voltron), Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Engineering, Eventual Smut, Fix-It, Green Lion, Happy Ending, M/M, Reunions, Secret Paladin, Shadam, adashi, black lion - Freeform, blue lion - Freeform, destroyed, red lion - Freeform, slowburn, yellow lion - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:11:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 54
Words: 124,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annsthesuper/pseuds/Annsthesuper
Summary: The Paladins of Voltron are returning home to Earth to receive the help of the Galaxy Garrison and the Universal Extension Bases all over the world, but, disaster strikes! Leaving the Red Lion severely damaged, the only hope to repair it lies within a distressed, sleep deprived, and foul-mouthed engineer at the Garrison whom Shiro calls the love of his life.





	1. Thinking Of You

Shiro's POV.

If you asked me, 

"Shiro, if you could be one place in the whole galaxy, where would you go?" 

You see, of all the places I've been in the universe, across galaxies, to distant planets, visiting alien civilizations, relaxing in castles, ships, driving a robot lion, jumping through wormholes, and even being trapped in the conscious of an ancient spirit, there is a place I want to go... but I don't think you wouldn't know that place if I didn't tell you first.  
For you, it would be any other dwelling back in Earth. But to me, It's back home. It's back on solid ground. There is a roof over my head, no threats to care about, and I feel okay again. But as of right now, I can't say that I'm totally okay.  
Keith is piloting the black lion back to Earth. Earth means home. Home means Adam.  
Looking at the stars passing by, my hand starts to tremble a little. My knees get weak. I have to take it easy, so I walk to the back of the pilot cabin and lean against a wall and try to relax. But all I can think about is how I let him down.  
I'm scared. I'm scared that when I return to Earth things will have changed between me and him. Last time I saw him, we fought. He didn't want to let me go.

I didn't want to let him go. 

"Hey Shiro," Keith's voice asks quietly from over my shoulder, "You seem kinda spacey."

"Heh, picking up on the dad puns?" 

I make a joke so I don't seem to fidgety.

"That's not an answer." 

I sigh.

"I'm worried about someone." I say quietly.

"Is it Adam?" 

"Yeah." 

There is a moment of silence from Keith. I think he's trying to remember who Adam is.  
I introduced Keith to Adam when Keith was still a cadet. Adam and I just became professional space explorers.

"Is he the guy with hazel eyes and glasses?"

"Yeah." 

"What are you worried about? I'm sure he's waiting for you back on Earth." 

"It's complicated." 

And with that, the conversation was over.  
Keith never mentioned Adam for the rest of the ride home.

The others don't know about me and Adam. I never got around to telling them about "us" but the group knows that we trained together and are close.  
Well, were would be more exact.

"Hey guys!" Coran shouted from the lion radio.

Coran: "You see that bright star up ahead?" 

Hunk: "No...Wait...No."

Pidge: "Look left a little."

Hunk: "Oh, I see it!"

Lance: "It's the sun!"

Allura: "We appears to be entering your home solar system." 

Lance: "We're almost home!" 

Coran, Allura, Pidge, Hunk and Lance. *cheering*

Keith: "Lance, are you crying?" 

Lance: "I'm not!" 

Keith: *laughing*

Pidge: "Guys stop fighting. Save it for when we get back in land." 

Hunk: "I've missed eating pizza so much!" 

"I remember when I went out on my first date with Adam. We went out but it started raining and I forgot my umbrella so we ran to my apartment drenched in water. We ordered pizza that night and watched movies until 4:00 AM. How romantic."

Lance: "I miss my family."

"Adam is like my family. We were engaged. We talked about having a family when we retired from the space force."

Pidge: "And I must have missed the new season of Doctor Who." 

"Adam was such a sucker for that show."

Hunk: "Keith, what do you miss?" 

Keith: "Nothing much. Maybe my old hoverbike. What about you Shiro."

Keith looks over his shoulder to me.

Shiro: "I miss Adam." 

Allura: "Remind me, but who is Adam again?" 

Coran: "He is Shiro's friend. He trained with him, remember?"

Pidge: "I think I remember him. He was really tall, but not as tall as you, Shiro." 

Hunk: "Was he the guy that thought is how to maneuver the plane in formation?" 

Lance: "I think so. Anyway, he was a really cool guy. Maybe we can pay him a visit when we get back."

"Yeah, and maybe a little more than that."


	2. Navigation Set

Keith's POV

"Hey, Shiro?" I ask suddenly.

The Lion radio chat died down a long time ago. Allura suggested that we all take a stop on Titan(Saturn's biggest moon) for twelve Vargas so we could get some much needed sleep. So now, Shiro and I are free to talk in privacy again. Thank God! Before we stopped, Coran and Allura were going on and on about all the things they wanted to do on Earth. 

"Yeah, Keith?" 

"You and Adam...you two were engaged?" 

Shiro doesn't talk for a few seconds as he turns away.

"Yes. We were, but I'm not so sure anymore." He says quietly.

"Why? How long has it been since we left Earth?" 

"I'm not sure but I think we've been gone long enough for Adam and my family to think I'm dead, grieve for me and move on with someone new. Or about four years." 

"Where is your family?" 

"Back in Miyagi, Japan. My dad is probably helping his brother train a bunch of kids to play volleyball.   
*hah! See what I did there?*  
"And my mom..."

His voice trials off. I don't prod at him anymore about his mom but I want to know more about Adam.

"You and Adam were so close. I think he knows that you're coming back. I'm sure he's waiting for you." 

"Yeah, but the Garrison reporter that the Kerberos mission was lost. Adam believes everything the Garrison has to say. He probably thinks I'm dead."

Shiro's voice cracked when he said that Adam thinks that he's dead.  
I over my shoulder to see Shiro leaning against the wall in the far right corner, shrouded in shadow.  
His shoulders are slumped forward.   
For the first time, he doesn't look confident anymore. He doesn't look like a brave leader. The stress and aging process has affected him heavily and it's evident now just how fatigued Shiro has become.   
Then something happens. Something a little scary, a little rare, but completely understandable.  
Shiro begins to cry.   
It's quiet and subtle, but you could hear the defeat in his voice.   
Keith could only imagine what pain Shiro was going through.   
I get up and go to him and put my arm on his shoulder. I'm not that great with comforting others but I think I'm doing okay.

"That doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that you are alive. Adam will be happy to see you again. When we get home, he will be the first person we see. Okay?"

Just then the Lion Radios picked up again. I give Shiro's shoulder an awkward pat and go back to the pilot seat.

Allura: "Hey everyone! Had a good rest?"

Lance: "Yeah."

Hunk: "Can we head back to Earth now?" 

Coran: "Easy there. We still have a ways to go. If we stay at cruising speed we'll get to Earth in about fifteen Vargas."

Lance: "But what about if we travel at more than cruising speed?" 

Pidge: "If my calculations are accurate, we'll be home in almost seven If we go at racing speed. And no, that is not an invitation for you guys to start racing!"

Lance and Hunk: "Fine!"

Keith: "We need to address another matter."

Lance: "What? Think I'm might beat you home?"

Keith: "No. We may be going home but where is that? I mean, we live in different parts of the world. Lance lives in Cuba. Pidge, you live in California. Hunk, you live in Hawaii. Coran, Allura, who knows where you two are going and Shiro...well...he has someone he needs to see at the Garrison."

Allura: "And who might that be?"

Coran: "Shiro, I thought you were from Japan."

Keith: "Um, uh, I-"

Shiro: "Adam. I need to see Adam as soon as I can. If things haven't changed, he will still be at the Garrison Dormitories." 

Allura: "How about this. We all get to go home and see our families for a week. Then we report to the Garrison."

Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Lance, Hunk: sounds like a plan. 

It's funny that I'm agreeing to this.


	3. Before It All Went Wrong

Still Keith's POV.

We have taken off again.   
Turns out, Titan wasn't such a good place to take a rest stop. We lost the Gang through the rock cluster surrounding Titan multiple times. God that was exhausting trying to navigate out of Saturn's rings.  
Now we have been put six Vargas behind schedule, much to Lance's irritation.

The silence is back. Again. And the black lion cabin is again, peaceful and private.

"I think it's time you tell the others about your relationship with Adam." I say.

"No! I can't!" He bursts out unexpectedly.

I'm personally taken back. I know Shiro was crying and upset a few Vargas ago. His vulnerability is strange to me. 

"Why not? We're a diverse group. Pidge came out as a girl and everyone was fine." I explain.

"This is different. I rarely ever let my personal life get in the way of fighting the galra. But...I know this is different and I've been hiding my relationship with Adam for too long but If I come out and there are bad reactions there is going to be a disturbance in leadership."

"Fine. We'll wait but you need to get this off your chest. Maybe then you won't feel so nervous to see him."

Shiro sighs. Again. 

"Ok."

"How did you two meet anyway."

For the first time in awhile, Shiro smiled. It was small but noticeable. A small look of hope and remembrance sparks in his eyes.  
I missed seeing that life within him. 

"This is going to be a weird story." He explains to me.

Flashback to 14 Years Ago. Shiro and his class at the Garrison had their first day. They are all bright eyed eleven year olds. Here is the story of how Adam and Shiro met.

Shiro's POV

"Alright. Today's flight simulator drill went well. Especially Takaishi Shairogan." Sargent Kovu said.  
*I'm a sucker for the Lion King*

The was a small snicker from my classmates at the mispronunciation of my name. I felt my face burn with embarrassment but I kept standing tall and hoped the snickering would stop.

"Your first day is over so that means that you go back to your dorms and you don't come back here until six thirty sharp. Tomorrow will be starting ship engine anatomy study."  
My class gave a shameless groan. I for one kept silent.

"Yes, sir." I saluted.

"Don't play teacher's pet, Shairo."  
Sargent Kovu ordered.

I was about to apologize but I just shut my mouth. I knew this place instilled discipline in the students but I didn't expect everyone to be so cold.   
Sargent Kovu dismissed us.   
I started walking away but when I turned the corner into the hallway, I broke into a run.

"Hey, Takishi!" A kid taunted from behind me.

I stop in my tracks and whip around.

"It's Takashi!" I yell back.

"Is that Japanese? Are you from Japan?" 

"Yes. Why?" I ask. Not knowing that I made a huge mistake.

"I bet you feed cats in your backyard!"

"I bet he can't use a fork or knife. He just uses chopsticks!"

"Hey Taikashi! We're your grandparents in internment camps for WWII?" A boy shouted.  
*im so sorry but I need a character to be an asshole here*

Everyone gasps in horror. My face burns with shame. 

"What?! N-no! I..." I try to say as kids start laughing and poking at me.

My chest tightens. I can't stand here and take this. I don't want to be a tattle tail but I don't want to be a punching bag for everyone. I take off running again just as my vision blurs with tears. I keep running, turning down halls I've never seen before. Darting into a small opening on the wall blankly, I think I'm crawling on my hands and knees through a vent?! I'm not sure! Don't judge me!! All I know is that wherever I am now, it's dark, it's cold, and it's quiet.   
I stop crawling to catch my breath. My uniform is patched with dust and dirt. 

"Crap. Kovu's going to kill me." I mutter to myself as I hastily brush off some dirt.

"You got that right." A voice whispers back to me.

I go rigid. I don't know who said that or where it came from. Which means only one thing.

"God?" I ask stupidly.

Then there is laughing. I finally hear the source of the sound and its from behind me.

"That was the best reaction I've ever heard!" The voice says through laughter.

I try to turn around but my movements are restricted.

"Where are you? Show yourself!" I command but of course, the curse that is puberty makes by voice crack.

"I'm behind you. Come out of the vent." 

I do as I'm told. Squeezing myself through the vent I see an opening. I crawl to that.

"Careful, there's a bit of a drop." The vice says, a little clearer now that I'm nearer to the person.  
At the mouth of the opening, I stick my head out into the Hall. The vent is five feet off the ground. I shyly swing one let out of the vent and sit down. Then I swing out the other leg and slip out into the open, but I don't see the person who was talking to me.  
Then I feel a tap on my shoulder.   
Flinching, I trip over my feet and fall over onto my face.  
From the floor I see a person in front of me. The light is in my eyes so I don't see them very well.

"Careful." 

The person offers me their hand and I grasp it in mine as I bring myself to my feet.  
Their hand is warm and soft.   
Finally out of the light, I see the person.   
From a general view, its a boy. wearing the same uniform as mine so he must be from my class? But looking at his face I am met with piercing hazel eyes through glasses. He has dirty blond hair and he is somewhat taller than me. Finally seeing him, he's actually kinda cute.

"First things first, I don't blame you for hiding in a vent. I overheard what those other bastard were saying. Don't let them bother you. They're attention seekers."

I laugh a little. Mostly because I'm nervous that I'm in an abandoned hallway with a cute boy and oh my god my heart is beating fast.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks, his voice much softer.

I didn't realize I stopped breathing.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say looking away. God I'm such a mess. 

"Come with me, I know a place I want to show you." He says and starts walking past me. I follow at his heels.

"I don't think I remember your name."I admit as I'm walking.

"It's Adam (place cannon last name here if I ever find out what it is). I kinda know your name but I could tell that Kovu was pronouncing it wrong and I don't want to pronounce it wrong either."

"Oh yeah. Its Takashi Shirogane. But most people call me Shiro."

"I like Takashi better." 

I blush. Almost no one calls me Takashi. 

"Where are you taking me?" I ask.

"Look, I know this is going to sound cliché, but a rooftop. I thought you might want to get some fresh air and so some stargazing. That's not to cheesy is it?" 

"No I love stargazing but isn't isn't the rooftop off limits? And we're supposed to be in our dorms so if me get in trouble..." my voice trails off. 

"Don't worry about Kovu. I have a plan." Adam says with a smirk.

God I really like this boy.

Adam leads me through a few more Galway's before leading me to a ladder up a wall to a trapdoor on the ceiling. Adam starts climbing the ladder and lifts the trapdoor. From my stance on the floor, I get a glimpse of clear bright stars through the opening crack of the trapdoor lifting. Adam lifts it all the way, revealing a square of perfect night sky. After Adam climbs onto the rooftop I follow him up the ladder with apparent giddyness. God I'm such a space nerd.  
I practically jump off the ladder into the roof, and the gaze out nearly makes my heart stop.  
There are stars everywhere. They are clear and bright against the obsidian night sky. The clusters of stars mapping out constellations and the Milky Way takes my breath away. 

While I was gushing over the perfect view, I never knew that Adam staring at me with a fierce fascination, matching the level of my fascination with the night sky, which was extreme intensity.

"How did you find this place?"

"My dad used to work here. He told me that he used to sneak out at night and go stargazing. I thought I'd give it a try as well." He admits with a smirk.

This boy and smirking! I'm going to have a heart attack and he's going to be the reason why! 

Me being me, I flop down on the ground on my back and look up at the stars. I can't wipe a grin off my face.

"Takashi, you are a true space nerd. I've never met anyone with a fascination for stars quite like yours." 

"Adam, I'm stargazing." I whine comically.

He laughs at me. God his laugh is beautiful.

"Hey, stop laughing and get down here. The view is better."

He flops down next to me. 

The air is silent except for our breathing which seems to synchronize perfectly.  
Nothing could be better.

Then there is some notice from within the building.

"It's over here." Someone says.

"Go to the rooftop."

I recognize the voice. It's Kovu.

I stir up so fast that I get light headed.

The trap door begins to open. 

"Crap! I told you we would get caught!" I whisper shout to Adam who is already on his feet.

He pulls me up by my hand.

"He hasn't found us yet, now run!"

"Why?!" 

"Just do it!"

I follow him as he runs behind a greenhouse on the roof.

By now there are footsteps that are coming closer to us.

"Look for a rock or something." Adam says quickly.

"You will not throw it at Kovu!" 

"I'm not throwing it at anyone!"

"Okay!"

We drop to our hands and knees searching in the dark. Running my hands over the rough ground, I fine a jagged stone and pick it up. 

"Here!" I say as I thrust the stone into his hand.

"Perfect."

Adam get up, winds his arm back and throws the rock as far as he can. To the far right, there is a clatter and bang. 

"Over there!" Kovu orders.

Then the footsteps get fainter and fainter until we can't hear them anymore. 

Adam and I run from out hiding place and dash down the trapdoor ladder and start running.   
I have no idea where I'm going but Adam seems to know this place like the back of his hand. He leads me back to the dorms but we duck into a vent again.

Panting and sweat dripping down our faces I can feel his hot breath against my face. It's dark but I can still see his hazel eyes looking into mine.

"That was quite an adventure." I admit as I catch my breath.

"Hell yeah! I'd do more but I seriously think we should go to bed." 

"What time is it?" 

"Midnight." 

"Wow that's late."

"I know. If I ever ask, would you do this with me again?" He asks with pure sincerity.

I look at him, and I think. Oh screw it!

"Of course I would." 

"Alright. See ya later space nerd." Adam says jokingly.

I respond with "see ya later troublemaker." but he's already climbing through the vents again before I finish my sentence.

I go back to my dormitory and flop on my bed as I go inside.

"So I just became friends with the cutest, most cunning, sly, and imaginative boy here at the Garrison." I whisper to myself in the dark.

So good news is I have a friend now. And what's better or worse in your opinion is that I kinda fell for him already.❤️


	4. Midnight Arguements

Adam's POV

Its eight am and It's dark again. Finally. The orange sun sinks below the horizon, shadows get bigger, the stars become brighter, and realism becomes dreamlike.   
It's all I've ever asked for. For this to be a dream. More like a nightmare that slowly eats you up inside. No, not a nightmare. You can wake up from a nightmare. This is hell. But not fiery hell that burns and scorches your body quickly. Its freezing hell. The kind that takes you over slowly, then all at once. And it's everywhere. It's in every corner, every crease, every breath I take is like breathing in hell. Its fills my lungs and freezes them. It gets painful to breath. Fuck, it's painful to live. Your body is frozen so solid that a piece of you breaks off.   
The day I told Takashi he would be alone was the day I breathed in her for the first time. The moment I stood up and walked away I entered a hell without knowing the consequences of my actions. The day the Kerberos mission was lost was the day my heart froze and shattered. This is cheesy I know. But I guess people get poetic and cheesy when no one thinks they are sane anymore and the only way to express their insanity is through fucked up poeticness in the middle of the night while stargazing with my dog at three am. This is oddly specific because this is my fucked up reality.   
My fiancé is gone, I go to therapy, I have a service dog and if you want me to have a regular sleeping pattern, too bad.

While ranting in my head a door opens behind me.

"Again?!" My roommate shouts.

"Yes, again!" I retort back.

"I can't stand this! You don't eat, you don't sleep, you're so depressing!" He argues raising his voice.

"You want depressing? I'll give you depressing! My fucking fiancé has been dead for over four years!" I scream! 

"You are going insane! Every night you stay up until morning in the morning just staring at space!" 

"And you live life as if everything was right in the world!"

"Everything is right in the world. My world."

"You are so insensitive!"

"You are so crazy!"

Yes, we go back and forth back and forth. We've been getting into this habit since the last month. I think this roommate is going to ditch me. It wouldn't be the first time to be honest.

"Well I'm sorry but this is how I cope!"

"He has been gone so long there is nothing to cope about!

"I'm sorry but are you def? I SAID FIANCÉ! THE MAN I WAS GOING TO MARRY BEFORE I PERSONALLY FUCKED UP OUR RELATIONSHIP AND HE LEFT TO GO ON A MISSION AND DIED, IS DEAD!" 

"GO VISIT HIS GRAVE!"

"HIS BODY IS FLOATING IN A SHIP IN SPACE SO LOOKING AT SPACE IS KINDA LIKE VISITING HIS GRAVE AND YOU TOLD ME TO DO THAT SO IM DOING THAT!!"

"GO GET A GIRLFRIEND!"

"IM GAY!" 

"GO GET A BOYFRIEND!" 

I finally stop yelling. God I haven't heard that word in a long time. I haven't considered getting someone new in so long. And I haven't because I don't like that idea.

"No." I say coldly.

"Why not?"

"Bitch, how many times am I going to say this. Fiancé! My one and only!"   
I flip him my ring finger where I've kept the golden band on my finger since the day Takashi gave it to me. 

"You sure know how to curse and argue." He spits out venomously. 

"You sure know how to piss me off, bastard." I spit back.

Then he leaves. Yes this is a routine now.

Yelling at people doesn't help me. It makes me feel worse. I begin to hate myself a little more than I already do and I look to the edge of the roof top which has been heavily gated so I can't do anything stupid. So I can keep living.

How I exist now is hardly living. If it weren't for padlocks, metal gates and constant supervision I would be with Takashi right now. Or maybe if I begged Takashi to stay, he nwould be with me.   
My watch beeps a few times.

Five am it reads. 

Well, back to bed.

I take one last look at the night sky until the sun comes out again.

I think I see a shooting star. I'd wish on it but wishing is futile. My wish will never be granted.


	5. Not As They Were

Keith's POV

We resume flying through space as usual but being set back six vargas on schedule has made some of us very irritable. I don't blame them. I do want to go back home but my intensity doesn't match Shiro's or Lances. I have no family besides Shiro. 

"I still can't believe you were so awkward as a kid!" I laugh.

"Yeah, it took a few years for me to stop being so awkward."

Just then the radio kicked in again.

Keith: "Haha, you used to be more awkward than Lance at the Garrison!"

Lance: "Hey!"

Pidge: "The raiding chat is back on BTW."

Shiro: "Keith and I were just talking about my glo up when I was a Garrison cadet."

Pidge: "I remember my dad talking about how you used to be the shortest boy at the Garrison."

Hunk: "Hey, guys? Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

Allura: "There seems to be a field of asteroids in front of us."

Pidge: "If we decide to go around the asteroid field we will be set back three vargas."

Lance: "Seriously? I say we go straight through."

Lance, you know I can't do anything straight.

Shiro: "This reminds me of the simulator we put you guys through when you were all cadets."

Lance: "If that's the case..."

Suddenly Lance increases speed and is dodging asteroids right and left with reckless abandon.

Coran: "Lance, slow down!"

Lance: "NO. I've waited too long to see my family again. I refuse to go around."

Keith: "Then that leaves me no choice."

I push the throttle forward and my lion speeds up as well.

Shiro: "Keith, stop. This is crazy." 

Keith: "No. We need to stop Lance." 

Hunk: "Guys, stop fighting."

No one is listening to us. 

Pushing the throttle farther and farther, I catch up with Lance. We are neck at neck. Again. 

Keith: "Lance, stop."

Lance: "No. Get the others to catch up, we can get through this."

Keith: "You're going to fast!"

Shiro: "Lance, listen to me, you need to slow down." 

Lance: "I can handle this!"

Keith: "No you can't!"

Lance: "Why are you always getting in my way!?"

Keith: "What?"

Lance: "Everytime I try to help out or support the team, you shut me down!"

Keith: "Since when?!"

Lance: "Since we met!"

Keith: "I don't know what youre talking about!"

Lance: "For once in my life, I want to do something big! I'm not hurting anyone here, am I? I just want to go-" 

Suddenly there is a crash, the sound of grinding metal and Lance's radio loses signal. The asteroid field has been disturbed and space rocks begin to shift from the impact.

Keith: "Lance? Lance!"

Pidge: "He's crushed between the two asteroids!"

Lance's radio is cracking up. It seems damaged.

Lance: "I--orry---can't----alone---------help!"

Shiro: "Don't worry. We're coming to rescue you."

Lance: "The-----off-----no signal---dark."

Allura: "The red lion has lost all power. We need to somehow push the two asteroids away from each other."

Hunk and Keith: "On it!"

I fly down to see the red lion crushed between the huge asteroids. The lion's eyes aren't glowing and the body is floating limp in space. It scares me. 

Keith: "Hunk, fly in and get as close to the red lion as you can, then on three, push the rocks away."

Hunk: "Okay!"

 

Hunk flies the yellow lion in closer and positions it between the rocks as I fly in and secure the black lion's mouth around the red lion and prepare to pull.

Lance: "Quick-----punctured---loosing air!"

Pidge: "The red lion has a puncture wound in the side. Be careful, Keith."

Allura: "Thats my father's creation!"

Coran: "You are destroying decades of Altean work!"

Allura: "First the castle, now the lions! Whats next?"

Lance: "Guys,-----cold-----wanted----home!"

I realize that Lance is crying hysterically. I need to get him out of there!

Keith: "Hunk, when I say three, push the rocks apart."

Hunk: "Got it."

Pidge: "Hurry!"

Shiro: "Be careful!"

Lance: "I'---gonna die!"

Keith: "No you're not. One!"

Lance: "Los---Air!"

Pidge: "Wait, guys. I think I see something."

Allura: "Oh no!"

Keith: "Two."

Shiro: "Keith, wait!"

Hunk: "Keith!"

Coran: "GALRA SHIPS!"

Keith: "THREE!"

I pull the throttle back as far as I can, not realizing that Hunk wasn't pushing. The screech of rock and metal gets worse.

Lance: "Kei---Stop!"

I don't listen. I pull the red lion free, only to see that the dent is now a large puncture wound in the side. The lion is too damaged to be fixed right now. Bits of pieces and fractured red metal float from the opening in the lion's side. Its almost like blood. The body is bent at a sickeningly damaged angle. I realize now that the lion will never move. I watch it limply float away from me. 

Keith: "Lance, exit the lion. I'll come get you."

Lance:"O-ay!"

After a few moments, Lance emerges from his lion, but not from the mouth.Instead, Lance jumps out from the wound and throws himself out into space.

I dive in and catch Lance safely in the mouth of the black lion. After a few moments, I hear footsteps coming up the inner chamber to the pilot cabin. I feel relieved that Lance is safe, but i cant rest now.

"Keith! Look out!" Shiro shouts at me. 

I try to turn around and reach the throttle but before my hands even get close, a bright purple ray hits the lion, electrocuting us all inside the lion.

I hear a blood curdling scream from Lance who is still stuck in the inner chamber.

The lion is thrown off balance and I hear a loud crash from inside the cabin. I cant turn around to see what happened because of the force of the Lion spiraling out of control.  Through the front screen, I can make out Galra ships approaching u but I cant tell how many there are because the lion wont steady itself.

 

The spinning slowly decreases and I can turn back to see the pilot cabin again but I regret what I see.

Lance has finally made it to the cabin but he is cradling Shiro in his arms who appears to be unconscious and bleeding from his head. 

What have I done?


	6. Conscious Of A Fallen Warrior

Shiro's POV 

The Lion was struck by some sort of purple energy Ray. Upon impact, the lion and everyone inside was electrocuted. Pain shot throughout my body and what made it worse was the screaming from within the inner chamber of the lion. Like the terrified cry of a child. There was ringing in my ears, my body was in pain, and the lion was spinning out of control. Tripping over my feet, I hit the edge of a metal crate head first.  
Then the world was no more.

(Flashback to 15 years ago, we take another visit to our favorite awkward space nerd and a rambunctious troublemaker continued by Shiro's POV)  
Ok, I have some good news and some bad news.   
Good news is, Its Adam's Thirteenth birthday at the Garrison!  
Bad news is, there aren't very many celebrations here at the Garrison so Adam's birthday will just a dull acknowledgement. The Garrison, because in life you can't have fun and y'all need more and more school.

It's been about two years since Adam and I have been friends, and his sly grin still gets the better of me. But now that we're teens, he's gotten taller, his hair has gotten longer and even more messy. But most importantly, he has glasses! You should've seen the look on his face when he got them! It was a mix of embarrassment and pouting! It was honestly the cutest thing I've ever seen! But of course I'll never tell Adam that.   
For his birthday, I decided to be cheesy. I currently own a Polaroid camera. The one with the vintage photos. So I've been taking pictures my whole time at the Garrison. Mostly so I could send pictures back home to Miyagi, Japan.   
If you didn't know, I had to earn a scholarship to get into the Garrison from Japan. The only way I am in contact with my family is I send photos home. Once, I sent a few pictures of me and Adam and now I think my mom thinks I have a boyfriend. God that would be so amazing!   
Jesus, I'm getting ahead of myself!   
Point is, I made a photo album of the two of us. Yeah I know it's cheesy but I've recently discoverer Adam's soft side for cheesy things. For example, his favorite movie is The Titanic, if he sees a dog, he has to go pet that dog, his favorite thing is stargazing with me, and he likes stuffed crust pizza. The last thing is getting literal, but I've made my point.   
I took photos of all his favorite things.   
Getting the photo album, I had to sneak out of the Garrison at night.  
Lately I've been getting pretty good at hiding and sneaking around. God I'm such a rebellious teen!   
I went to the corner store and got some things. One of which was the photo album. I got the biggest one they had. I also got sodas.  
This is gonna be great!   
Earlier today, I asked Adam to meet me at our spot. (The place Adam took me when we first met)  
So I'm waiting for him under the stars that we love so much.   
I set the things down next to me and pull out the other two things I got from the corner store. I know it's a little dangerous but a little dangerous is what I know he could appreciate.   
Then behind me I hear footsteps going up the ladder. Then on the door there is two soft knocks, then three, then six.  
That's our signal to let eachother know that the other isn't Sargent Kovu.  
I go to the trapdoor and open it.  
"Hey, ya called me?" He asks with his signature smirk.  
"Yeet." I respond as he holds out his hand to me.  
I grasp his hand in mine and pull him out while we gently set down the lid of the trap door.  
"So you know that birthdays at the Garrison suck, right?" I tell him, trying to hide a smile.  
"Yes! Oh my god, Kovu always has to ruin everything!"he whisper shouts because if he said it out loud he would probably yell it and we would get caught.  
"Well, I have a little surprise!" I say, leading him to where I have the photo album, and sodas. The two other things I got from the corner store was a candle and matches. Like I said, a little dangerous but Adam loves anything that's a little dangerous. I don't think I cut that list, just yet!  
I take out the candle and matches. I take a match out and light light it with a small fizzle of fire.  
"Holy shit! Takashi, what are you doing?!" He whisper shouts even louder.  
"You'll see." I say calmly.  
"If you're suggesting we do something to Kovu you are crazy!"   
"What?! Adam, I'm not crazy I don't do things like that!"   
"Holy shit you better not!"   
(Did I mention Adam has a bad habit of cursing?)  
I pull out the candle, and quickly light it. Then I blow out the match. I look back to Adam and give him my best I-told-you-I'm-not-crazy look.  
"Oh my god I thought you were going to do something stupid!" Adam says in complete relief.  
"I'm not crazy, but I'll go for a little dangerous."  
"I very much agree. And the candle is sea grass scented. Yay!"  
"That's not it, I also have some snacks."   
"Oh my god you went all out tonight!"  
"Of course. On your thirteenth birthday, you deserve the best."  
We got out the sodas. I got one of every flavor they had. Cracking open the first few I decide that Pineapple Fanta is my favorite.  
We spent a good hour talking about things. It was a little cheesy. But that's when I got out the photo album. The candle was almost burnt out, and the air was tingled with the scent of sea grass. In the dim light, I found the photo album and brought it out. It was so big that it rested across both our laps.   
"Adam's and Takashi's Adventures." It said across the cover in my best handwriting which wasn't all that great.  
"The title is so cheesy!" Adam laughs.  
"I thought you loved cheesy."   
"I do love anything that's cheesy."  
He laughs putting his arm around my shoulder. I didn't expect such a gesture of affection so I try to return It. I wrap my hand around his waist. Together we look at the photo album which is only a few pages.   
"Why is this mostly empty?" He asks.  
"It's so we have room to put in more pictures."  
"This is the best, most cheesy, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me." He says with a genuine smile.  
"I'm happy you like it." I say.  
The candle is burning to its last bit of light. It's dim, and the fire flickers on and off.  
Adam looks into my eyes in the dying light of the candle. His eyes are darkened, but the faint light from the candle ignites the traces of green and yellow in his hazel eyes. His eyelashes throw shadows across his cheekbones, giving him a mysterious and wistful look. His skin is golden tan and it looks so soft. His arm around my shoulder shifts to guide me closer to him. He shifts to me, and I shift closer to him. In the dying light, the wind gives a little breeze, brushing Adam's dirty blonde hair out of his eye for just a moment, then the light flickers one last time, and dies.  
But that doesn't stop me, from giving Adam one last birthday present.  
In the quiet darkness, my lips connect to his. Only the two of us and the ever patient stars know what went on that night.


	7. Out Of Balance

Adam's POV

You would think that I'm unfit to work at the Garrison. If you do, I whole heartedly agree. But I work anyway. There has been a shortage of teachers at the Garrison and because I am the last remaining senior officer from my year, the Garrison has decided to keep me. But the day I get fired is the day I pack up, and kiss this place goodbye. I can hardly stand it here. The pristine white marble floors, the plaster walls, and the high glass ceilings haunt me with everything I lost.   
If it couldn't be worse, I'm not much value anymore. I can't really teach, and I refuse to go near an air craft. Now here is why I have Lyla, my Australian Shepherd service dog. True to who I used to be, I absolutely adore dogs. I spoil Lyla with treats whenever I can in return for her comfort during my loneliness and anxiety.   
The Garrison decided I needed her when I was scheduled to go on the rescue mission to Kerberos, but when the plane left the ground, something changed within me.  
All the various buttons, switches, dials, graphs, stats, they all no longer made sense to me. I couldn't read anything, I felt like I was suffocating. The walls were closing in on me! Tighter and tighter and tighter. They nearly squeezed the life out of me. Like he vacuum of space taking the breath away from Takashi.   
The aircraft nearly made it five hundred feet in the air. It was only a few minutes before my world fell apart. So they took me out of flying service and put me to teaching air craft maneuvering.  
I lasted one class. The first class was fine. I was teaching the younger students who were cooperative and understanding of my situation. They were still in the simulation phase.  
But when I had to teach teens who were about to actually fly an aircraft and I had to teach in an aircraft, I lost it. I don't remember much but I know what people told me about what happened. I was told I lost my shit. And when they put it like that, that means I caused mayhem like when I was a child. Apparently I started screaming at everyone to never go near a aircraft in real life because it would kill you. I think I cursed a lot. I got much better at curbing my bad habit of cursing right and left. But I didn't reign it in enough that day.   
That day six kids dropped out of the Garrison I scared them so badly, I got ruthlessly lectured, I got Lyla, and I was put on guard duty.  
Hey, you win some you lose some.  
Usually, I stand in the Hall with Lyla at my heels and make sure no fights brake out but lately I got a promotion. Some gifted students have a fear of flying or they have anxiety like me. I bring Lyla and teach mindfulness. It's been a huge benefit to me. Remember when I was going on and on about how life sucks a few chapters ago? That was me going though one of my moods. I'm okay now. And I'll be that way as long as I have Lyla to keep me sane.  
Enough backstory.   
Currently I'm getting ready to go to work. My shift is during the later hours of the day.   
I pull on my grey boring uniform, put Lyla on her leash, grab my apartment keys and leave with my hand in my left pocket where I keep a Polaroid photo of me and Takashi. It was the last photo we took together before he went on the mission and died.   
That's all I need from day to day, besides food and water.  
I walk from the dormitories to the front doors of the Garrison, but Lyla starts pulling me forward, and she starts barking. I can tell she senses that something is wrong. She pulls me through the doors and to a crowd of people and pushes through them.  
"Lyla, chill. I'm so sorry I don't know what's gotten into her." I say to someone I accidentally almost push over.  
"It's quite alright. But she has good scenes. Just in from the Garrison atmosphere report there has been a disturbance."  
"A disturbance in the force?" I m tempted to ask.  
"What kind of disturbance?"  
"Well, the orbit of some asteroids have been drastically changed by impact. We think it's from an unusually bright and abnormally colored comet."  
"Bright and colored?" I ask.  
The shooting star from last night! It was unusually bright, and tinted purple.  
"Is it purple?" I ask.  
"Yes. Do you know much about it?" He asks me.  
"I thought I saw a purple shooting star last night, but I thought little of it. I didn't realize it was such a big deal."  
"Go report what you know to Kovu."   
Yes kovu is still alive but he's older. He doesn't do as much as he once did but he is of very big importance in the communications office so I need to get my info to him quickly.  
With that, Lyla leads me down one of the left halls. She knows this place almost as well as I do.   
Walking though the halls I hear bits and pieces of the conversation about the comet.  
"No, id day it's more fuchsia tinted...  
It's material is very strange...  
The shape of the comet is irregular...  
The path it's taking is very odd...  
I've never seen something like this...  
Will it hit us? Will we evacuate?"  
"I sure hope we don't die." I think to myself.   
By now I take out my keycard and request to see Kovu. The metal sliding doors illuminate and let me pass.  
Lyla pulls me through with intensity, and I stop at Kovu's desk.  
"Sargent Kovu." I say saluting him.  
"Ah, Senior Officer (Adam's last name. But can we just go with Shirogane? I mean he and Shiro are both engaged so it would make sense that Adam has changed his last name. Right?) Shirogane. It's a pleasure to see you again."   
"Sir, I have witness to the irregular purple comet."  
"Okay. Spill it."  
"Last night around hour five hundred last night, I thought I saw a unusually bright shooting star. It was tinted purple and heading East."  
"First of all, you need to go to bed at a regular time, but your information matches the data we have so far. Come with me."  
Kovu and I leave his office and go down a corridor to the atmosphere communications room where everything about space movement in and out of our atmosphere is collected.  
Upon entering the room, everyone stand up and salutes to kovu.   
"Sargent Kovu, you have news?" One of the control panelist operators asks.  
"Senior officer Shirogane has a report to make."  
Quickly I explain what I saw to him, then the control panelist operative brings up an image of the comet zoomed in. It's blurry but I make out the general color and shape.  
"That's it! That's the comet I saw."  
Suddenly, Lyla starts barking. And jumping up on me.  
"Lyla get down!" I order. But she doesn't listen to me.   
Out of my pocket, I get some dog treats to keep her content but she refuses.  
"Lyla, if your asking for bacon I don't have any." I say to her but she doesn't quiet down.  
Suddenly, everyone in the room is watching us. I can feel their stares locked onto me.  
"Lyla, please be quiet!"I beg.  
I kneel down to her but she is going crazy!   
"I'm so sorry about this, I'll keep her under control." I bashfully announce to the atmosphere communications operators.  
Pulling on her leash, I get Lyla outside the room but she isn't staying quiet.  
"Lyla! What the hell!" I say but suddenly, Lyla grabs the leash from my hand and takes down a corridor.  
I run after her yelling. Some people stop to stare at me. Others laugh.   
"This is it." I think. "This is where I loose my job."  
Lyla suddenly stops at an open window and lays down.   
"Lyla, if you wanted fresh air, you didn't need to be so crazy about it!"  
A gust of wind kicks up and nearly blows the glasses on my face off.  
Readjusting then I look out the window. And then I freeze.  
Glasses still in hand, I look out in the distance to see the comet. But it's not moving, rather, it's stationary. Floating, hovering in the air. My hands are shaking as I put on my glasses. What I see, is not a comet. Hell, what is it?


	8. Hold Your Breath

Keith's POV

I run out of my pilot seat to Shiro.   
"He must've hit his head on the metal crate when we were hit." Lance says, his shoulder still twitching from the shock.

Allura: "Guys, Shiro's down!" 

Pidge: "Keith, Lance, Pilot the black lion now! We need help!" 

"Lance, try to revive Shiro!" I command.

"I don't know how!" Lance shouts in exasperation.

"Lance, the lion won't let anyone else pilot. I can't revive him and drive the lion at the same time!" 

"Well let's try!"

"No, Lance! For the last time, No!  Your ideas are stupid and childish! The lion will only answer to me! Got that? Now sit down and revive him!" 

I get back to the lion and put my hands on the throttles. I push forward. But they don't budge. In fact, they aren't illuminated anymore!

Hunk: "KEITH! THE BLACK LION! WERE WAITING!"

Keith: "IM TRYING! THE THROTTLE IS JAMMED!" 

I push and pull randomly at the throttle. It doesn't move. I push the autopilot button. Nothing lights up. The screen is beginning to go dark. I press the distress button but the button is jammed. The lion is falling asleep! 

"NO NO NO NO!!!" I scream as I hit the dashboard.

"Work god damn it!"

"Keith, patience yields focus." Lance says calmly. How can someone be calm right now?! HOW?!?!

After a few more moments of futile rage and button pressing, i feel the tightness in my chest and the burning of tears.  
I'm failing. I'm loosing. I've flunked out again. But I want to do things myself. I depend on myself and myself alone. But I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I hold off the urge to cry. Finally I stand up.

"Lance," I say finally. "Pilot the black lion to Earth. We need to get those revived and in the Garrison for backup."  
I look at him. I know what he's seeing, and I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed of how I acted. I was selfish, and I lost the place of black paladin. But I'm giving it to someone who can take the risk.

I wait for lance to yell at me. I wait for Lance to kick me or something. But he doesn't.  
He embraces me.

"It's okay. It's not your fault."

I fight the urge to cry as I embrace him back but only for a few short moments. We let go, and I get to work. I shouldn't have fought he lion for so long. Shiro has already lost a lot of blood. 

Behind me, the light begin to flicker back on, the lion roars and the energy returns. I know that Lance has awoken the spirit of the black lion. 

The radio taps back in.

Pidge: "Guys, don't come back to the fight. We have a plan."

Allur: "Go to the Garrison with Shiro and get backup." 

Hunk: "And hurry!"

Coran: "Shiro told me once that Adam is an aircraft engineer. He'll know about all the types of aircrafts they have. Get him to power the most advanced fleets of ships. We're going to need a lot of backup."

Lance: "Got it!"

Lance thrusted down the throttle and glided down towards Earth at high speed, leaving a trail of purple light behind.

As we fly through space to Earth, I rummage through the crates of my possessions. Pulling out my black T-Shirt, I rip it in half. In another crate I find some antiseptic. I drench the black fabric in the liquid and press it to Shiro's forehead. His white hair is stained dark red, and there is a gash from where he hit one of the metal crates. I gag as I try to clean the wound.  
Then using my red jacket as a pillow, I lay him down on the ground and secure him so that he doesn't roll around on the floor if we get hit again.  
"Is he going to be okay?" Lance asks me.  
"I'm not sure. I don't think he's in any shape to go looking for Adam. We're going to have to do it ourselves.  
As we fly down closer and closer, a red light blinks in the corner of the screen. It read:  
Warning, Warning. Ship approaching.   
Lance and I look at eachother. In the next few seconds, Lance turns the Lion around and faces behind us to see a large Galran battle ship following us, but it's different. The design is bigger, the cannons are larger, and the fighter jets shooting what wince was puny little lasers, have become deathly killer machines!   
Lance turns back around and ups the speed. From behind us I hear the shooting of lasers, but then I hear something new. Then I see it.

"Lance! Go faster!"

"I'm going as fast as I can!"

"THEN DODGE RIGHT!"

"WHY?!"

"LANCE WE WILL DIE IF YOU DONR SWERVE RIGHT!"

The lion jerks a little then makes a sharp right. I loose my balance and fall over.

"Ok, turn back!"

Lance turns the lion around. Ships are still coming, and they're even closer. From a distance, we can see the battle ship load the cannon. But it's doing something we've never seen before.

"It's taking quintessence from around it! The Galra is no longer dependent on prepared quintessence!" 

"The Galra have evolved!" 

"OK, WE ARE SO SCREWED!" 

"NOT YET WERE NOT! QUICK, PUT IN YOUR BAYARD! I'LL ASSEMBLE ALL THE FIRE POWER WE GOT!"

"LANCE! WERE RISKING TOTAL SHUT DOWN OF THE LION IF THIS GOES WRONG!!"

Lance looks at me.

"That's a risk we need to take."

Realizing we have no other choice, I nod, and pull out my bayard. 

"On three, put it in and twist left."

"But you're supposed to twist right!" 

"Trust me! I know what I'm doing!" 

I facepalm as Lance pushes a stream of buttons, flips on specific switches and monitors some graphs.   
Then pulling out what looks like a drawer at the side of the seat, Lance opens a cap to reveal a big red button.   
Lance looks at me.

"Keith this is now or never."

I swallow my pride and nod.

"Every weapon is prepared to strike. This red button, is a panic button. I've learned that mixed with all the firepower and the bayard, pressing this button will release a super cannon. The only problem is if anything isn't done fast enough or too quickly, the lion will self destruct.  
Either way, the Galra surrounding is will be killed, but I just want you to know that I run the risk of dying."

"What?"

"I can get the cannon to work with two hands but summoning the cannon isn't something you should do."

I look at him. But he looks back at me with sadness in his eyes.

"Lance, no!"

"Keith, I'm dropping you and Shiro off at the Garrison."

"Lance, please!" I cry.   
This time, tears are steaming down my face as I cradle Shiro in my arms.

"Keith, I'm so sorry but I have to do this. If all goes wrong, and I die and the lion will be destroyed so the Galra will no longer have the possibility of controlling voltron."

I set Shiro down and get to my feet.

"Lance, I don't want you to do this. We can think of something else!"

"No. Think of the mission!" He pleads.

"Lance, this is suicide! I don't want you to risk this!"

He turns around and gives me a funny look, then Lance gets out of his chair. He goes over to me and lightly pushes me back to to the doors of the inner chamber.

"If I don't make it, tell my family that I love them." 

"No, Lance please!"

I don't now what to do, I don't know what to say. I grab his hand in mine.

"What will happen to the red lion? Who will pilot it? It won't take me back!" I beg and plead through my tears and sobbing.

"No. Take Shiro, and go. It's for the best."

Lance is beginning to cry. He puts his hands on my shoulder and pushes me back. Falling backward I trip and fall behind the doors to the cabin. I try to scramble to my feet but Lance throws something in my face. It feels like worn out fabric. I pull the fabric away from my eyes to see Lance setting Shiro down in the pod.

"Lan-" I try to say but another thing is thrown at my face. This time it's leathery. It's my jacket!  
Pulling that away form my face. I get up again.

"LANCE! YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME!"

"Keith I'm sorry." 

"LAN-" 

I can't say anything, I can't do anything, as Lance kisses me. I hold into him. Trying o take in ever little detail of him as I can. The chaste kiss taste of salty tears.   
Before I can even disconnect to say good bye, Lance gives me one last apush backward.   
Then the doors shut.  
Then the door's second set of locks are put in place.  
Then the soundproofing system is instilled.  
Then there is silence.  
I scramble to my feet and pound on the door as hard as I can. Even though I know it's futile I still do it. Why do I do it? I don't know. Letting realization set in, it finally hits me. In the face like a brick wall.  
Lance just kissed me!


	9. An Anticipated Talk

Shiro's POV

(Continued flashback)

The candle has long been burnt out.  
The smoke and scent of sea grass has been whisked away by the wind, but nothing can take away what Adam and I have created. What we have become. What we are sharing together.  
At the moment the candle burned away, my eyes closed shut, and I leaned in more. And I was met with the taste of Adam's lips on mine.  
There was the sweetness of the sodas we had earlier, and the vanilla of his chapstick. His lips were soft against mine. Soft and expectant. Like they were waiting for me, and only me. In the darkness, Adam pulls me closer to him, and I don't hesitate to lean back into him.   
We pull apart to catch our breaths, but I keep us connected by resting our foreheads together.  
In the darkness, I shift my hand to Adam's, and he holds it protectively in his.  
We don't need words, we don't need anything. All we need is eachother, and everything will fall into place. With my free hand, I cup his face and bring him back to me.   
That was my first kiss. But it starts to fade like everything else begins to.   
My senses awaken. Adam disappears. 

(Back to real time)

There is a sharp pain in my forehead. I bring my hand up to rub away the pain but there is a bandage. I decide to leave it alone.  
I sit up immediately. I forgot where I was. I forgot what happened. What time was it again? Was I thrust into the past to see Adam again? Was I put there on purpose? Why did I see him again? Was it a dream? I guess it was because Keith is sitting beside me staring out into nothing and looks just as delirious as I feel.

"Keith?" I say.

Keith doesn't answer. I just keeps staring. He's in a daze.

"Keith!" I say a little louder. 

He flinched a little.

"Yeah? W-what happened?" He says snapping out of it. 

"Nothing much. Are you okay." I ask.   
I'm genuinely worried. I've never seen Keith like this. He's seems flustered. I think I need my dad skills. 

"I...don't know. I mean I do but- it just happened I don't know what to think of it!" 

Keith is getting worked up. Like usual. 

"Keith, relax. Are you hurt?" 

"No." 

"Are you conflicted?"

"Yes!" He bursts out in a mix of emotions.

Okay. He's being a teenager right now. I know how to handle this.

"How do you feel?" I ask gently.

"Tired." He says dryly.

"No, emotionally." I say with hand gestures so he gets the point. 

"Tired." 

I want to facepalm so bad. 

"Keith, you know what I mean. Just relax, listen to yourself , and use your words."

Keith closes his eyes and breaths for a few moments. Then his face darkens.

"I'm confused. I want to be exited about something but I also want to punch lance in the face."

"Why is lance involved?" 

"Because h-"

Keith's voice dies in his throat. He shuts his mouth and looks away to hide a blush but I know it's there.  
Keith mumbles something but it's so quiet and pushed together I can't make out a thing.

"What?"

He blushes even harder.

"Lance...........kissed me."

I sit there processing what he said. I burst out laughing.

"Shiro!" Keith whines.

"I'm sorry I just can't help myself!"

My sides hurt now.

"Shiro this isn't funny!" Keith whines like a child.

"Okok. I'm sorry. I know that's not funny. So he kissed you, then what?"

"That's not the point!" Keith cries.

"Not the point? He kissed you. What else could there be? He likes you!"

"He's going to drop us off at the Garrison and commit a suicide mission!" Keith yells.

My stomach surges with pain as I jump onto my feet. 

"Where is he?" 

"He locked us out of the pilot room. It's locked, and sound proof! I can't get in!" 

"Tell me what happened!"

Keith tries to get words out but he can't. This time his voice doesn't die in his throat. Instead, he bursts into tears.   
My dad instincts kick in and I pull him into a protective hug. I hold him the way I know he'll let me.   
Knowing Keith, you don't have to say anything to him when he breaks down. You just let him cry. You let him pour out the bottled up emotions he hides from day to day. Sometimes he hides emotions for years. Without knowing how to release them, he could lash out in anger, but crying it out is the best way for him. I know he doesn't like to cry in front of others. He claims it makes him weak. But one day he'll know that expressing oneself to others though crying can bring two people together, and it doesn't make you weak. Showing someone this side makes you brave by being vulnerable.   
The crying goes on for a good fifteen minutes, then it subsided.  
Good, he's calm.

"Better?" I ask

"Better." He responds.

"So he's planning a suicide mission?"

"Yes. He's combining all the lion's weapons, bayard and panic button to summon a super cannon. But if he doesn't lock in the bayard and press the button at the same time, the lion will self destruct. He's dropping us off at the Garrison first so we'll live."

"There is a chance that Lance will survive. He knows what he's doing." 

"Then why did he kiss me like he was saying goodbye?"

I sigh. There is no easy way to say this, is there.

"He kissed you, probably because he likes and wants to show you that before....well...he does the mission."

Keith hugs his knees to his chest. 

"But why now?" 

"What do you mean?"

"Why not a year ago? Why not  
When we met?" He says quietly.

Oh boy, here comes the big question.

"Keith, are you trying to tell me something?" I ask, trying to be as gentle as possible with my tone of voice. I tell you, he may seem tough but Keith can shatter into a million pieces any moment. 

Keith nodded.

"I think I know where you're going with this. You don't have to explain anything you don't want to. I'm just saying I'm picking up on what you're inferring, and I'm okay with everything your saying. There is nothing wrong with how you feel. Okay? I'm right here."

Keith said nothing after that, so neither did I. 

Neither of us knew that Lance could hear us.   
Lance cried all the way to the Garrison.


	10. When Eyes Nolomger Glow

Allura's POV

What looms in front of me is a fleet of ships to large and to much in quantity to face alone.   
I deeply regret sending lance, Keith and Shiro away. We could've formed... no. The red lion is gone for. Turning to my left, the Red lion is floating in space like a dead animal. It's limp body is twisted at sickeningly disgusting angles. He red paint isn't as bright as it once was, and the energy is completely gone. It will no longer fly, or will no longer turn on. It will no longer serve.  
The lions were built to self repair but only to a certain extent. Only an altean can tell when a lion is dead and the severity of the coldness coming from the limp body confirms that to me.  
The red lion my father once piloted, is now gone. 

Pidge: "The Lions, they self repair,   
r-right Allura?"

From her tone I know that Pidge is in tears. 

Pidge: "The red lion is going to be okay, right?"

My heart surges with pain and grief.  
I hold in the will to cry. It takes me a moment to compose myself, to be the leader I have to be.

Allura: "The Lions can fix themselves to a certain extent. Right now the red lion runs the risk of..."

I stop talking. If I try to speak, all that will come out my mouth is a sob. I can't be weak. Not right now.

Hunk: "Breaking in two."

Pidge: "The Galra are coming. If they attack what's left of the lion, it will surely break apart."

Allura: "No." 

Coran: "Princess Allura, we must save what left."

My stomach twists with anger. 

Allura: "We must leave it. The soul of the red lion is dead. We cannot hope to repair the lion."

With a swift motion of the throttle, I pull away. I never want to see that ugly piece of scrap metal again. 

Hunk: "Allura, if we bring it to Earth, maybe we can get Adam to fix the lion. He is an engineer of multiple fields. If there is anyone who can fi-"

Allura: "No! We're leaving it behind. It's nothing to me anymore."

In anger, I shut off the lion chat radio, I turn the lion around and fly off. Leaving Pidge and Hunk behind.

"Allura, whats wrong?"Coran asks, putting his hand on my shoulder. I push his hand away. 

"Nothing is wrong. We need to move. The Galra are almost here."

"This must be about your father." He says sadly.

I whip around to argue but something stops me. I realize so many things in one moment.

I'm not alone in this. I'm not the only one who has seen Altea's ruin. Im not the only one who's tired of not knowing how to lead. 

I'm not the only one who misses my father. 

It's too much. It's all too much to handle.

I turn around again and as my vision blurs with angry tears, I lower the throttle down, and grab the remains of the red lion in the mouth of the blue lion which hangs limp like a dead cub in its mother's grasp. I turn the radio back on.

Allura: "I'm...im sorry. I don't know what came over me. We shouldn't leave the lion."

Hunk: "Its okay. I just want you to feel okay right now."

Pidge: "You seem stressed."

Hunk: "Here, I'll take the lion. Let's focus on getting out of here."

Allura: "Thank you."

The radio is shut off again. I release the blue lions jaw around the red lion and I watch it float away form me. The yellow lion slowly comes forward and grabs the small lion in its front paws.In its hold, the remains will be protected.

I never realized how fragile these creations are, and how small the red lion is. 

I slump over the dashboard and cry.  
From behind me, I feel Coran put his hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers.

"No, I'm sorry. I was going to leave the lion. I was going to leave behind the last piece of my father I have."

"I know your upset. If anything, I get upset too." He says.

Suddenly, Coran seems tired. I feel so awful. I almost feel like a burden to him. He worries about me.

"I get angry about why everything happened. Why did it happen to us? To you? It isn't fair to any of us but the best we can do is to keep on going."

I try to pull myself together.

"You're right."

I wipe away the rest of my tears.   
And we head over to Earth.

I flip a black switch on the left of the dashboard. It's a personal signal to the Black Lion.

Allura: "Lance, we can't fight the Galra alone. When you drop off Shiro at the Garrison, I want you to drop Shiro and Keith at the Garrison. I need you to come back as quickly as you can to hold off the Galra while Keith and Shiro get help."

Lance: "Will do, Allura."

Somethings is off about his tone. It's so tired. Everyone is so tired.

Allura: "Lance, is there something wrong?" 

Lance: "Allura, if I don't make it, there is something I kept under the dashboard of the red lion. It's secured tightly so it will still be there...hopefully."

Allura: "What is it?"

Lance: "A picture of my family with the address on the back. Give it to Keith if I don't make it, and tell him to tell my family I died a hero."

Allura: "Since when are you going to die?"

Lance: "The go or no-go tactic. I have no choice but to use it."

Allura: "Lance! You can't do that to us! The team! We need the black lion! We can get the red lion to be repaired by Adam everything will be fine! You don't have to make that choice Lance!"

Lance: "I'm sorry." 

The radio signal crackles and breaks. 

I can't get to Lance anymore.


	11. Power Of The Black Lion

Adam's POV

I have no fucking clue what I'm looking at! I take my glasses off, rub my eyes, put my glasses back on and I still see the same thing!  
Around me, people start to notice the flying machine. They point, they scream, they faint.  
The object that is hovering, I look at it analytically. 

It's a robot of some sort. Made of metal I've never seen before. Its huge! It's black with red blue and yellow details.

The flying machine darts left.   
Then I finally see it from the side.  
It's a robot in the shape of an animal! Judging by the body structure this was not human made. The details of the torso are engineered for agility, speed, flexibility. The arms and legs are engineered for jumping power, the claws for grip and traction, the wings for flying ability, the glowing details for night visibility, and the glowing eyes for vision. The shape isn't very arrow dynamic, but the smoothness of the armor and the angle of the wings suggest that this creature is meant to fly.

Everything about it is brilliant! It is absolutely beautiful machinery!   
The metal creature darts back and forth, flying with a smooth glide. Diving, turning, doing a barrel roll in the air with natural ease. Nothing is forced, Nothing is slacked. It's as if the thing is alive, breathing and living in its own.

For centuries, humans have studied, built, fixed, and rebuilt machine after machine to produce such a aircraft with this level of control. This is not human made. This can't be the work of a human.

The metal creature flies closer and closer to the ground, I can't hold myself back anymore. I drop Lyla's leash and jump out the window.  
Don't worry I'm on the first floor.

"Adam what are you doing?!" Kovu shouts behind me. I turn around and shut the window and lock it. 

From outside, I can hear the shocked gasps of the people watching me. I turn around to see the creature looking at me with deep intent and purpose.

This creature, this stunning work of machinery has me in awe. It's as if it's calling out to me. I can feel it.  
I walk forward to meet it. Nothing about this feels wrong. I feels, so right. I haven't felt this way in years. The stress of my life, the anger guilt and sadness is gone! It's replaced with something new. I can't describe it. 

As I look to the face of the creature, the design suggests that this was modeled after a lion. The lion has touched down, the thrusters have shut off and it's manually walking to me.

As we get closer and closer, I begin to see just how huge the lion is! It must've taken years to build it! If not more to design it! 

You see, this is the inner engineer geek in me.  
The lion has stopped walking. And so do I.

From behind me, I hear the Garrison Guards telling me to stop. I refuse to listen to them.

The lion's heard turn and the joints shift perfectly without strain.  
The lion kneels. Almost touching the ground. It leans into me. 

Something tells me that the lion isn't bowing to me. There is purpose in its movements. 

There is desire for contact.

With bravery, I take a risk. Just a few feet away from the surface of the mouth of the lion, I reach out, trusting that nothing will hurt me.

With my palm outstretched, I wait.

Gently, the lion leans in close enough, and presses its muzzle to my hand. 

To my surprise, the metal is warm and inviting. I lean even closer and press my forehead to the warm metal, and I take the time to appreciate this amazing creature. 

For some reason, I get a feeling of understanding, joy, fear and sadness all mixed into one. Then a thought crossed my mind.

It's searching for something. Something it left behind.

Then there is fear. 

I get the sudden impulse to turn around.

The Garrison guards have come in now. I turn around to see weapons being loaded. 

The Garrison cargo trucks are bringing in something. Something huge!

"No! Not the secret weapon! It's not ready!" 

They don't listen to me.

"Senior Officer Adam, you have five seconds to step away from the alien machine!" Sargent Kovu barks. 

"Sir, I refuse." I bark back.

"You are crazy, you know that?! Every day you stay up all night wishing on stars for your precious Takashi to come home! He's dead. So come back to the Garrison and let the pros handle this beast!"

"This is not a beast! This is something more. Look at it! The machinery is far advanced, and material is of something we've never known. There is something about it! It's alive! Can't you feel it?" 

"Adam, you're crazy!" 

"Don't talk shit to me, Kovu. You don't wouldn't know brilliance even if it kicked you in the balls, you ugly gorilla!"

The guards go stiff. No one insults kovu. Hell, I've never openly insulted kovu. Until now...   
I'm sure I'm getting fired.

Kovu stares at me in shock, but I can see the realization in his expression. 

He reaches for a gun. I stiffen, the Lion moves.

A huge shadow is thrown upon me, and everyone looks up to see the Lion move. 

Seamlessly, the the Lion takes a step forward and brings its right paw around me. Protecting me.

"The lion understands what your saying, it has emotions, so if I were you, I'd back off!"

Kovu holds his hand up. The signal, to load firearms.

The lion and I know what that means, and I duck down.

From behind the large metal paw, is the sound of ricocheting bullets. 

They're actually firing at me!

From behind the paw, the lion kneels down once more and opens its mouth. Looking inside the mouth, is an opening.

Not thinking at all I climb inside the mouth and run farther into the throat where the mouth turns into a corridor. 

Behind me, the door shuts and I'm stuck in total darkness for a few moments before small blue lights ignite the hallway dimly.

Shiro's POV  
(Ten minutes ago)

Keith and I are still sitting in the inner chamber of the lion. Im resting against the door and he's resting against a wall. Keith is fast asleep. He deserves some rest.

In the back of my mind, I'm thinking about what he was trying to tell me. I'm getting the sense that Keith likes Lance, but I can't be sure. I don't want to assume anything. 

Something behind me slides aside and I fall on my back.  
I look up to see the doors have opened up again. Lance is at the door way. Something is wrong.   
Lance is standing stiffly against the door way. He is pale his hand is trembling.

"Lance, what's wrong."

Lance tried to speak, but he shuts his mouth and grabs my arm and pulls me in. Shutting the doors behind him, he pulls me to the screen.  
The lion is currently on auto pilot.   
"The Garrison." He whispers in fear.  
I look over the scene on the screen. True to Lance's words, the over head view of the Garrison is above us. 

"I can't." Lance squeaks out.

"You can't what?" I ask trying to be gentle.

"I can't go back there." He says in fear.

"Why? You seem afraid."

"It's about Kovu." 

And suddenly I'm reminded of that bastard teacher. 

"Don't worry about him. You can do this." 

Reluctantly, Lance sits in the pilot seat again and pushes the throttle left. 

"Be careful, Lance. Don't give the Garrison a reason to attack you." I say calmly but I know it isn't helping lance.

I think of something new to say to him. 

 

Then I see him.  
Adam.  
I'm so close.   
I'm so far.  
I'm so desperate. 

My breath catches in my throat. Lance looks to me and sees my reaction. Something new shifts in him. He turns on autopilot. Lance gets out of the pilot seat and pushes me closer to the throttles.  
When he's sure I can handle it on my own, he opened the pilot cabin doors, and leaves.

Of course I never knew this. 

I keep my eyes on him as he climbs through a window and hastily shuts it behind him. 

He turns to me. His eyes set on nothing but me. I lean closer to the screen. 

I get the sense that I should close my eyes. 

I let them flutter shut as I tap into the full being of the black lion. I grow bigger, It's limbs become mine, I see though it's eyes, and it's mind has welcomed and made room for me.

I embody the black lion, and I keep  its and my attention to Adam.

I see the interest, the wonder, the mischievous gleam in his hazel eyes. 

He looks at me with a critical eye, and is in awe. 

As if in a trance, he walks to me. 

As much as I want to run and take him and make him mine again, I let my heavy paws pad the cracked ground gently. 

Patience yield focus....patience yields focus.

My focus belongs to him and only him.

He gets closer and closer and closer to me. I keep my pace. Patient and purposeful.

I'm going to see him. I'm going to connect. Make him understand how I feel. I want him to know everything. 

Just how badly I need him, just how much I love him.

He stands far below me. His small body shows no sign of fear or recoil. Even when in this huge body I kneel to see him closer.

Peering down at him, I finally get to see how he's changed, and my heart is filled with sorrow. The years we spent apart from each other has had a bad effect on his body. He's constantly fatigued and his nervous system has suffered. There is an immense longing for relief. 

I ask him to come closer, so that I can make it better.  
Trust me, Adam.

He raises his hand to me without fear or resistance. 

I reach back to him, and touch his hand, so I can pour our everything I want him to know, everything I want him to feel, and heal every broken part of him. 

I give him a sense of understanding, of the joy and happiness I feel now that we are reunited, and the pain I felt in his absence.

He understands. He sympathizes. He connects. I couldn't ask for anything more.

From behind him, there are cargo trucks, there is weaponry, and there is ammunition. 

As much as I don't want to let go of him, I need to protect him.

I ask him to turn around, and he obeys. 

From behind, I lean over him and put my paw around him to show everyone what I can protect him.

From below me, Adam and Sargent Kovu are arguing. Their voices are too faint for me to hear, but something goes wrong when he puts up the load firearm signal.

They were going to hurt him...no,  they were going to kill him.

I duck back down and open myself up to him but the power of the black lion is shifting. 

The Lion is pushing me out! 

I let go of the body I was inhabiting, I let the wisdom of the black lion leave me.

I regain control of who I once was.


	12. Divisions And Collisions

Third Person

Adam's running slows to a dragged walk.   
Looking around the corridor, he feels on edge of something he can't place.

He doesn't know that further up the corridor Shiro is running to meet him.

As he runs, a million things go through Shiro's mind.   
Worry, fear, happiness, and sadness. He is so lost in the fear that Adam won't want to see him again, he's met someone new, or he forgot about Shiro.

Shiro's vision blurs with tears as he dashed down the inner chamber in the lion. 

The both of them can feel that something big is about to happen.

Shiro stops in front of two large metal sliding doors. 

He knows that behind the doors is Adam.

"Patience yields focus..." he tells himself, then he opens the doors.

Adam hears the doors open and he sips around, ready to fight, but he stalls.

Adam and Shiro are met face to face for the first time in awhile.

Time has been different for the both of them. Adam has aged four years and Shiro only one.

They look at one another in shock and anticipation.

Adam looks at the man in front of him and recognizes him disputed the drastic changes.

"Takashi?...No, this can't be real." He says backing away.

"Adam, this is real." Shiro says, trying to keep Adam calm.

"The mission failure! You died!"

Shiro slowly walks over to Adam. Adam backs up against a wall.

"This isn't real! I have to be dreaming!" Adam cries. Tears stream down his face.

"It's real. I'm back."

"Why didn't you come back to me? Why did you stay gone for so long?" 

Shiro wipes away his own tears as he struggles to carry on. 

"I'm so sorry. I tried to come home. I tried. Every day I longed to see you again but so many things happened."

Shiro stopped five feet away from Adam.

"You didn't give me a sign, you didn't send a signal at all."

Adam's voice shook as he tried to speak.

"I was so far away. I was taken out   
of the Galaxy." 

Adam raised his voice to a shout. 

"Taken?! By what?! Why do you have white hair? Where did you get that mark across your face! What the fuck is wrong with your arm!?!" 

Shiro takes in a breath and tried to explain things the best he can as calmly as he can.

"I can't explain everything all in one go, but I've seen parts of the universe no one has seen before! I was put up to saving it from a corrupt alien race! I was put in a metal machine inhabited by an ancient to spirit and whisked away to fight evil!"

"This sounds like a childish lie!" Adam cries.

"I know it does but I'm back." Shiro pleads.

"Ok so your back! What do you expect from this? You've been gone four years! You think that your sudden appearance changes things?!"

"No! Not at all!"

"Too bad, it changes a fuck ton of things!"

"So maybe it does?! I'm home! I'm here to make things right!"

"Make what right?!"

"Us!"

"You have nothing to make right here! You left me! I can't just accept you back like that! I just can't Shiro!"

That's when Shiro nearly looses it. In frustration he screams at the top of his lungs in pure anger "YOU KNOW WHAT?! I'IVE GONE THROUGH TOO MUCH BULLSHIT UP IN SPACE! I CAME BACK TO FIGHT ONE LAST TIME! WITH YOU! YOU'RE ANGRY AND I QUIZNACKING GET THAT BECAUSE YOU HATE ME! WELL I HATE MYSELF TOO!"

Adam is in shock. Shiro never yells at anyone, or looses his cool. Adam has seen Shiro go crazy once or twice but he doesn't just shout out like that. 

Right now Shiro is full in sobbing but it's not stopping him. His voice cracked pitifully throughout what he was saying. 

"Every quiznacking second of spending the night alone! I hated that! I hate myself because I never had the guts to leave the mission and come home to you. I hate myself because I didn't try enough! I didn't listen to you in the first place! I was selfish and now.."

Shiro sank to his knees in despair at Adam's feet.

"Everything is wrong. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I just want to end this stupid war and make you happy."

Adam was speechless. He kneeled down to Shiro and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want you to be upset anymore. I know you've been so unhappy for so long. I have too. I just want you to feel okay again and If i need to leave to give you that..., I will leave. Please, I'll do anything."

Adam kneeled and embraced Shiro tightly as he cried, and Shiro clinger back crying even harder.

Their sobbing voices echoed in the halls of the lion.

From in the pilot cabin, Lance and Keith could hear them.

Adam held Shiro protectively. They had longed for this contact for years.  
They cried for a long time, while Lance piloted the lion away from the Garrison.

Eventually, their crying subsided to sniffling.

"Takashi..." Adam said finally.

"Yeah?"

"Don't hate yourself. Please."

Shiro hugged Adam tighter.

"You do deserve my forgiveness. You deserve so much more. I was so angry when you left. What I said all those years ago, I never meant it. I just wanted you back. And now that I do, we can fix this. We can fix everything."

Adam paused a moment, choosing how words carefully.

"I love you."

Shiro wipes away a tear from Adam's face, and leans in. 

Adam leans in too.

In the darkness of the inner chamber when're they finally have peace, they kiss.   
Kiss is soft and full of love.   
Shiro knows that his affection for Adam never faded, and now he doesn't need to worry about his and Adam's future. 

Sure their relationship will need time to heal, but Shiro is more than content knowing that they still love eachother the way they did all those years ago.

They only break the kiss to breath again.

"Um, Takashi?" 

"Yeah?"

"What does quiznacking mean?"

"We have so much to talk about."

Shiro pulls Adam back into their embrace. 

They stay huddled together for a very long time while Shiro tells Adam the general details of what happened to him.

Adam listens to him.

Adam has forgiven Takashi.


	13. Flightless

Keith's POV

Lance and I are in the pilot cabin.  
When Shiro was running to the inner chamber to be reunited with Adam, I slipped through the doors.

"LANCE! THE FUCK WAS THAT!"   
I scream at Lance.

Startled, Lance trips over his feet and falls into the pilot chair.

"Keith!" 

I hover over him and grab the black fabric of his Paladin suit and yank it forward so that there is so little space between us now.

"What. The. Fuck!?" I growl.

"Keith, let me go!" He cries, trying to push me away but my grip stays firm.

"You were going to do the suicide mission! You were going to drop us off at the Garrison!  Why are we still in the lion going to god knows where?!"

"Shiro took hold of the lion and let Adam in. The Garrison was going to fire at Adam!"

"Why would the Garrison fight Adam? Did you give the Garrison a reason to fire?!"

"No! It was Adam's doing! He insulted one of the generals who were threatening to shoot at us!" 

I grip lance tighter!

"Are you going to go along with the suicide mission?!"

"Don't call it a suicide mission!"

"Are you going to take that risk?!"

"I can't!! The lion won't fly!" 

"What?!"

I let Lance go. Lance runs at his throat. I must've choked him.

"The lion refuses to fly. Look."

Lance gets back into the pilot chair and raises the throttle up, but the lion continues to walk manually. 

"Let me try."

Lance moves and I shift into place.

I lift the throttle but the lion continues to ignite me.

Just then we hear shouting from below us. Shiro is raising his voice. That's not good.

"They're fighting!" Lance says worriedly. "What if they don't make up?"

"They have to! Adam is our only hope of fixing the red lion. Maybe he can figure out what's wrong with the black lion."

"Or maybe the black lion listens to Shiro again?! This black Paladin business is so confusing." 

There is silence between us for a few moments.

"So we're stuck on earth....and you'll live." I say.

"I guess so." Lance says dejectedly.

"What's with you lately? Why do you seem upset all the sudden?"

Lance says something under his breath, but it's so quiet I can't here anything.

"What?"

Lance slams his fist on the dashboard.

"I wanted to go on that mission and never come back!" He forces.

Lance doesn't look at me, but I see a tear fall down his face.

Suddenly my anger is gone.

"Lance..."

"I'm sorry but I just can't handle this anymore." 

Lance's voice is close to breaking.

"What are you saying?" 

"I'm saying is that I can't do this. When I try to do something, I fail. When I try to fix it, everything gets worse."

"That's not true."

"Keith, I killed the red lion!"

"We are going to get it fixed!"

"Shiro and Adam are arguing! Listen to them!"

As we fall silent, we hear an enraged cry from the inner chamber.

"Ok, so things have been better between them."

"I don't want to live up to this anymore. I bring everyone down. I'm better off dead."

I grab lance by the shoulders.

"Don't you dare say that! Don't you dare!"

"I'm better off de-"

I seal Lance's lips with my own  
In a quick kiss.

"Don't."

Lance is shocked. I'm shocked!

"Why did you kiss me?" He asks in a daze.

"Why did you kiss me?!"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"   
Lance asks with hesitance in his voice, but I don't need to answer him.  
I lean in and kiss him deeply.

Is this what it felt like for Shiro to fall in love with Adam? It feels amazing.

Lance and I disconnect and he embraces me. My natural instinct is to push him away, but I don't want him to leave me. 

I hold onto him. For  a long long time.

"I know I'm an asshole and I do shitty things to you and everyone else but I don't mean it. I don't."

My chest tightens again and I can feel the oncoming siege of tears.

"I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel unwanted or useless. You mean so much to me. And I'm only an asshole because I care."

"I know." He says quietly.

Just then we hear footsteps coming up the inner chamber. Lance let's go of me and the door slides open.

Adam and Shiro are holding hands. 

"Hey, Adam." 

"Hey, Keith."

Adam walks up to me and gives me a shirt hug.

"So you're Adam?" Lance asks.

"Yeah. You must be Lance, the sharpshooter. Shiro has told me about you."

Lance's face lightens.

"Now that Adam and I are back together, we have to address some issues to our main plan, but we need the group. Lance, turn on the radio chat."

"On it."

"Keith, check the Lion's stats. Make sure we have good signal."

"On it, but is this a bad time to tell you guys that the lion won't fly?" Lance says.

Lance, you just killed the mood!


	14. Meet The New Recruit

Shiro's POV 

Back when Adam and I were in the Garrison, we trained to take two different occupations.

I wanted to be a pilot. Adam wanted to be an engineer. And when I say wanted, I mean he worked hard for every title he got.

We both worked hard.

I ended up breaking the world record of youngest flier to test the flight track, and Adam became the youngest person at the Garrison to officially become a certified engineer.  
Back at the Garrison we were the ones changing things. Making new explorations and going the distance.  
But flying took a role on my body. Not long after we became Senior Officers in our fields, I got a disease.   
My body began to shut down. Particularly in my left arm.  
Things changed for me and Adam. My future looked dimmer while his kept getting brighter and brighter.  
When I was allowed to go on the mission I was seeking my last source of glory. I know it was selfish but I was desperate for redemption. 

I've spent years in space, being a prisoner for the Galra, facing enemy after enemy after enemy. 

The lions were put through ruin. 

I've seen so many of my comrades loose hope.

Today I paid the final price.

Now that a back with Adam, I'm excited to see just how much he's changed. Aka, how his brilliance in engineering had developed.

We're in the black lion and Lance has just dropped the news that the black lion won't fly.

"It won't? What happened? Are you out of fuel?" Adam asks.

Boy does he have a lot to learn about he lions.

"No. The lions don't run on fuel." I explain. "They-"

"Wait wait wait. Lions? There's more of them? How many?"

Adam is beginning to reveal his giddy engineer side. I've seen it a few times and it's adorable.

"And no fuel?! What machinery is this?!" Adam exclaims.

"Let's get the chat back on. Maybe Allura can explain a few things about the lions." Lance suggests.

"Who's Allura?"

"She is an Altean Space Princess basically. Her people build these lions."

"Get her on speaker. These machines are amazing! I need to know more."

I laugh to myself.

"And you told me I was the space nerd." 

Adam punches me in the arm.

"You're still a space nerd who used to be an awkward pre teen mess."

"And you're still an engineer geek who runs their mouth with no filter."

"Hey, I gave Kovu a good tongue lashing and we all know he deserved it."

Lance and Keith nod.

"See, even the emo and the underdog knows what I mean."

"Hey!"

Lance flips on the lion radio. This time, he puts in video as well.  
Adam steps aside to let Keith, Lance and I talk to the others for a moment.

The screens load instantly.

Allura: "Lance! You're okay!"

Lance: "Of course I am."

Allura: "and Shiro, your awake."

Shiro: "Hehe, yeah."

I look to Adam who is giving me a dangerous look.

I shrug and give him an apologetic look.

Pidge, and Hunk: "Hey!"

Coran: "You're all okay.

Allura: "Wait, Why is Keith and Shiro here? I though you were going to drop him off at the Garrison and come right back."

Lance: "Yeah, about that, the lion won't fly."

Allura, Hunk And Pidge: "What?!"

Keith: "We don't know what's wrong. Lance and I have suggested that it's because the black lion is accepting Shiro as Paladin again."

Pidge: "Would the lion just pick a person and stick with them?"

Lance, Keith and Shiro: "IKR!"

Coran: "So you all must be stranded on Earth. Have you gotten in touch with Adam yet?"

I look over to Adam. He steps into frame.

Adam: "They have."

Pidge: "Senior Officer Adam."

Adam: "Hey, Katie. *waves*"

Hunk: "Mr. (place last name), it's so good to see you again."

Adam: "Oh please, you can call me Adam. It's good to see you too, Hunk."

Hunk: "You remember us?"

Adam: "Of course. I thought you how to maneuver aircrafts, remember?"

Suddenly, Adam's expression darkens.

Adam: "Wait, you guys are the kids that went missing! Jesus Christ, your parents are worried sick! You've all been gone four years!"

Lance, Keith, Hunk, and Pidge: "We have?"

Adam: "Yes. The Garrison almost got sued because of your disappearances. Everyone's still looking for you guys."

Everyone begins to look dejected. I need to shift the conversation. 

Shiro: "On a lighter note, we got Adam. He can help us."

I say patting Adam's back.

Allura: "It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Shiro has told us so much about you. We need your help in repairing the red lion and getting the black lion to fly."

Adam: "Red Lion? How bad is the damage?"

Allura: "Awful. I have a full body scan of the lion before and after. I'm sending it now."

Momentarily, a rotating mini 3D projection of the lion appears before us with stats and basic information.

Next to it, is the lion now. Looking at it again I almost gag.

Adam: "Its been crushed in the torso, has deep scratches and cuts along the exterior. The pain has chipped really badly, the lower jaw is missing and so is the right arm. The armor on the back has been ripped off and the interior of the torso is exposed and obviously damaged. This robot is pretty screwed. What happened?"

Lance takes a nervous step away from Adam.

Allura: "It was crushed between two large asteroids and was pulled out without pushing the asteroids apart first."

Adam: "Well shit."

Shiro: "Adam, language."

Adam: "English and geek speak."

I facepalm while everyone else tried to hide a laugh.

If there is anyone I can't get to follow directions or be modest its Adam.

Adam: "The information you sent to this lion lion, can it send it to a machine other than the other lions?"

Allura: "It should."

Adam: "Takashi, what direction are we headed and at what speed?"

Shiro: "We're headed 45 degrees east at cruise speed, or in other words, around 350 mph."

Adam: "Turn it around and head back toward the Garrison."

Allura: "Why?"

Adam: "I know I don't use it anymore but we need to get to my old work lab. It's where I keep everything I've ever made. I have something there that can fix your lions. But I need a scan of the black lion as well. Before and after. Also, I have a few things that may provide upgrades to the other lions. All I need is a scan of their original and current state."

Allura: "That would be fantastic! And all you need is a scan?"

Adam: "That and some basic information about these lions. Something tells me that these are no ordinary contraptions. You and I are going to have to have an interesting talk about engineering."

Allura: "Pidge can probably explain more than any of us."

Adam: "Really?" 

Pidge: "Really."

Shiro: "Alright then. You guys, get back to Earth. I'm sending you the coordinates of Adam's lab."

I turn off the lion radio and visual chat. Taking seat in the front, I put my hands on the throttles.

"Okay. Adam, I'm going to need you to direct me back to your lab. All of you, his ride is about to get a little bumpy so strap in or hold on to something.

"Bumpy? What do you meAAAAAAAN!"

Mid sentence, I shifted the throttles again to turn around and send the lion into a sprint.

Lance and Keith hold on to some stable crates while Adam grips onto the pilot seat.

"What the fuck, Takashi?!"

"Adam, you seriously need to curb your language. There are youths here."

Just then the lion takes a rather large leap and lands with a jolt.

"Not a chance! I like cursing, thank you very much!"

The lion runs through the desert with easy agility. In about a Varga we have made it to an old rusty shed.

"This is your old lab? I thought it was bigger."

"After you left and everything went downhill for me, the Garrison decided that I was no longer fit to work as an engineer."

"Downhill?" I ask. "You are the best engineer at the Garrison and the Garrison is the number one international military space exploration base. What could've happened to you?"

Adam doesn't talk for a moment. I don't push him to answer anything.

"When you left, I went into...a mental breakdown. I was scheduled to be on the rescue mission to find you but something changed. The aircraft was barely out of the troposphere before I had a panic attack. Ever since then I couldn't stand to go near an aircraft, much less design one, so I lost my placer as an engineer. I was lucky to keep my title as Senior Officer for so long. A bunch of other things happened but I don't want to talk about it.

"They demoted you?"

"Yeah."

"Then why are to wearing the senior officer uniform?"

"I assume I've been demoted."

"Is it because you insulted Kovu?"

"You would've laughed when you saw his face after I gave it to him."

"Adam!"

"Takashi, you were the one that said it years ago!"

"Which one?!"

"Your worst!"

"Adam, God damnit!"

Behind us Lance and Keith exchange confused expressions.


	15. Old And Briken War Machine

Adam's POV

Takashi, Keith, Lance and I have touched down at my work lab. I already put in the information about the red lion into my repair bots so we can get to work right away. Other then that, we are currently waiting for the others to arrive.

The first thing that Lance does when he gets out of the lion is he collapses and hugs the ground. He literally flops down and embraces the ground. I don't know what this kid has seen but do to that he must've seen some shit.

While the two teens are doing whatever it is they're doing outside, Takashi and I check out the work lab.

After transferring to this new lab which is actually an oversized shed, i worked in here for about a year before quitting.

I haven't seen this place in so long, I forgot how messy everything was. There are blueprints hung up on the walls right and left, string lights are strewn about everywhere and in the back is a mini fridge where I kept some beers. 

Speaking of which, I could use a little relaxation. 

I go over to it and pull out a beer, unscrew the cap and chug it for a few seconds.

"Wait, you told me you haven't been here in almost three years. Isn't that beer spoiled?"

"Tastes fine to me." I say shrugging.

Takashi gives me a weird look.

"Ok, my absence has really screwed with you, hasn't it." He says approaching me. 

I hold the bottle behind my back in defense.

"You won't offer me some." He says punching me in the arm like four years never happened.

I laugh and hand him a bottle and we tap the stained glasses together.

Takashi takes a sip and gags.

"Nope. This stuffs disgusting ."

"You've never liked alcohol."

"You didn't become an alcoholic after I left. Right?"

"No. I don't like it very much either."

While we are exchanging some awkward banter, the two space teens come running in.

"It's them!"

Takashi and I put our drinks down and go outside to where I see fiur lions. All of them are different colors and sizes. It hits me that these machines were build to be unique from eachother. How fascinating!

The large yellow lion is carrying the damaged red lion and I have to say that it looks worse in person. The green lion is bringing the missing limb in its mouth, and the blue lion is guiding the way.

From what I can tell just by looking at the lions is that they all have different blast resistance levels, speeds, and flying abilities. What I want to do, is advance their strengths and I think I have just the things to do it.

Only the blue and green lions guide the yellow lion to the back of the shed where I have my repair drones ready to fly in and start repairing the damage. Together, the yellow, green and blue lions hold the red lion up because it is so damaged it can't stand on its own.

Soon after shifting the Lion into position, Katie, Hunk, Allura this jolly looking fellow edit the lions.

Takashi, Keith, Lance and I go to meet them.

"Princess Allura, it's a pleasure to met you in person." I say kindly, even though I can hear Takashi muttering something about me under his breath.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Adam. I hear you're an engineer of multiple fields."

"That's right. As of now, it seems that the main goal is repairing the red lion. My repair drones are going to fly in and adjust some 3D printer replacement parts I have ready." 

"That's wonderful. When do you think the lion will be able to function again?"

"After we get the parts in and adjusted, I'm going to run some tests. If the tests go well, the lion will be on its feet by tomorrow. You all can relax. I've got this."

Everyone let's out a sigh of relief. 

Let's see if I still got what it takes to be an engineer.

Katie follows me as I explain to her how I'm fixing the lions.

"So you're just fixing the outer armor. What about the inner damage?"

"From the scans in getting, there is a programming for the interior works of the lion but seems to be in a language I can't decode."

"I can decode it. The language is altean. If you decode it will the information be too advanced to build within a day?"

"I hope not. If it's too difficult, we might just have to mix altean engineering with human engineering."

"Think we can do it?"

"I know we can do it. My computer is off limits to other people but I'm going to allow you to use it to help fix the lions."

"Alright!"

I pull out my computer. It's small by first glance, but if you open it up, I've made projection adjustments so you can literally use it hands on.

Katie gets her computer and we start deciding everything.

"This makes no sense. It's referencing materials I've never heard of before. Would you have any uh, scultrite on hand?" 

"No."

"Mix engineering it is."

Katie and I get to work.

I go over to check up on how the metal pieces of the the replacement armor are adjusting. 

It's a perfect fit! The only problem is that it might be heavier than the original material used to build the lion.

Katie and I work on the programming until sundown.  
After that, I go back to the Garrison and sneak out some supplies and bring it back to the shed.

I've given up on calling this place a work lab. It's really a mess.

Things quiet down. Everyone gets tired, and they all return to their lions to stay because god knows that my shed is absolutely inhabitable. 

Right now, it's near hour two thousand two hundred and Takashi and I are still awake. He claims not to be tired.

"Are you sure you're not tired?" Takashi asks me.

"Nope. My sleeping habits are very weird." I say.

There is a silence between us. I know Takashi wants to say something to me, but he's hesitant. I know him too well.

"You're hesitating to say something?" I ask.

"What? No no no. I mean...*sigh* I thought you said you are terrified of aircrafts."

"I am." 

"Well why are you working in the lions? They're aircrafts of some sort."

"It's different. These are more than robots meant for flying and combat. I know you'll tell me I'm crazy but I swear those things are alive, Takashi!"

Takashi smiles.

"You're not crazy."

Im shocked.

"That is the first time you've ever said that I'm not crazy."

"You're a little crazy but I'm a little dangerous. We go together."

"I guess so. Besides, those things never took off the ground while I was inside."

Takashi gets up and stars walking out into the darkness.

"Hey, where are you going?" I shout after him.

"You'll see." He says, giving me a mischievous smile. 

Takashi leads me to the black lion. Just by approach, the lion's eyes glow and it bends down to let us enter. Going through the dim inner chamber we go back to the pilot cabin. Just by touch alone, the dashboard and screen ignite. 

"I still don't know how you do it." 

"Here."

Takashi takes my hand in his and places my hand over one of the throttles. Instantly I can feel the energy.

"This machine is inhabited by an ancient spirit. Thats what sets these lions apart from average aircrafts. The lion has control of its body, and so do you. To fly it, the lion has to choose you. Then, you and the lion have to work together as one to operate and function properly but the stronger your bond is with the lion, the better."

"Alteans are crazy." 

"Would you stop calling people crazy?"

"Yes."

"Finally you listen to me."

"Don't act like its your biggest achievement."

"Fine, but I want to show you more."

Takashi goes back into the inner chamber and opens a new door leading to an elevator. We go inside.

"Where are you taking me?"I ask.

"I know this sounds cliche, but on the top of the lion. I thought you might want some fresh air and do some stargazing. Thats not cheesy, right?" 

"Im getting dejavu vibes." 

"I know. Its like were eleven again."

"Right right...um, Takashi?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me why the fuck I found you hanging around in the Garrison vents."

Takashi facepalms while I burst into laughter.

"I don't need your judgement!" he whines, his ears turning pink. 

"Okok fine. Were almost at the top."

Above us, the armor of the lion opens to allow us to climb out. 

Just like all those years ago, the stars still shine brilliantly against the dark sky. 

"I feel like we should get some sodas and a candle." 

"Already ahead of you." 

Takashi pulls out a plastic bag. 

"How did you get all that?"

"You seriously thought I didn't see the stash of pineapple fanta in the back of your cooler and the unlit seagrass candle on your desk and our old photo album on the coffee table?"

"Ive lost my edge. Im getting old."

"You're still twenty five."

"Correction, you're still twenty five. Im almost thirty." 

Takashi looks surprised, but as realization seeps in, he looks down.

"That doesn't come between us, right?" he asks, his voice small.

"Never." i assure him.

Together we sit at the top of the lion's head where we are closest to the stars.

Takashi lights the candle, I crack open a cold one, and we open the photo album.

"Adam's and Takashi's Adventures. I still cant get over how cheesy that is!" I laugh.

"It thought you loved cheesy."

"I do love anything thats cheesy."

We flip through the photo book. Since the first time Takashi presented it to me, its been filled with hundreds of Polaroids of us. Like the time I got glasses, Takashi's first set of braces, the time I broke my leg, the time we came out, our twenty first birthdays and the day we became senior officers. 

We flip to the last page.

"Our engagement photo is missing."Takashi says with concern.

"I have it right here." I say pulling it out of my pocket. I encased it in a sleeve so it never got ruined.

"I took the photo out when you left. I started carrying it around with me wherever I went, so that id still have a piece of you to hold on to until you came back." I said looking at the photo.

Takashi and I put it back in the photo book. Together, as we always should be.

Here is where I get sentimental and angsty.

"I still can't believe you're home."

Takashi puts his arm around my shoulder, and I put mine around his waist. 

"I still can't believe it either."

We lean in together in the dying light of the candle. 

"After we get the lions back into shape, Im going to retire." he says, almost at a whisper.

"I know I've wanted you back since the day you left me, but those guys seem like they still need you."

"I have faith that Keith and Allura can lead without me. Ive spent to much time away from you. There is so much I want to do now that i'm back."

"Are you thinking what i'm thinking?" I say slyly. 

"Maybe." He says, returning the mischievous look.

"Like getting your hair dyed pink!" I say, ruining the moment.

Takashi looks at me like he's so done with this. 

"Adam, you threw off my groove!"

"Haha, got ya."

"Besides, Im getting it dyed black again."

"At least dark purple."

The light flickers faintly.

"You got your hair dyed when I left, didn't you." he says dryly.

"One of the best decisions I ever made."

"Im scared to know what you consider your best decision." he groans, facepalming. 

"Really? The best decision I ever made,"I say taking his hand in mine, "Was saying yes when you asked me to marry you." 

Our matching rings shine gold in the dying light. 

"You don't regret that, do you." he asks with uncertainty. 

"I don't regret it. However, I do regret that we still haven't gotten around to finishing our argument on which color pallet to use for the wedding." 

"Really? Pride themed?"

"I'm still staying by my pick." I say stubbornly.

"Fine. Neon rainbows everywhere it is. This will be the gayest party to ever go down in history."

The both of us laugh.

The candle flickers again, but this time it doesn't ignite. We are bathed in darkness, except for the faint light from the moon and stars. we sit, still hand in hand.

"Adam.."Takashi asks suddenly.

"Yeah, Takashi?" I say gently.

"Why did you take me back?" He asks, the insecurity is thick in his voice.

"Because I love you. Why are you asking me this, you know i'll always take you back."

"But four years. You waited for me for so long and you never found someone else?"

I swallowed hard.

"I did try dating again butIt never lasted. I wanted you, and you only." 

"Im sorry." 

Takashi begins to cry again, and I pull him into an embraces as he weeps into my shoulder quietly.

"Don't be sorry for what happened. You're back and thats all that matters."

"But what if I never came back? What would you do?"

I know the only way I can answer this will hurt the both of us but its what would've happened.

"I would've waited until I died." I say quietly.

Takashi begins to cry a little harder. 

"But I didn't. You're here and so am I. Lets not dwell on what could've been and lets just focus on the present."

"Adam, theres something haven't told you yet."

"What is it?"

"I died." Takashi sobs.

Ok, i'm confused now.

"What? No, you're still here. You're okay."

I hold him tighter but Takashi pushes me away.

"No, my original body died. My memories were cloned, my body was cloned and i was being controlled by a space witch! This is not my original body is dead, I have a robot arm, I have scars everywhere and my hair is white an-"

I press my lips to his. Its one of the few ways I know how to get him to shut up. I kiss him hard and deep for a minute or two before we break for air.

"Im a clone, aren't you disgusted?" he cries.

"No. And you want to know why?" I ask, being serious this time.

"Why?"

"You're a virgin again." I say in my most serious tone.

I wait for him to process what I said. It takes a few seconds but now Takashi is really done with this.

"Are. You. Kidding Me? I swear when your not engineering something you think with your dick."

I burst out laughing again. After awhile Takashi joins in.

"But seriously, that doesnt bother you?"

"Technically, the cells are all the same, but its still you in the conscious of the clone body. At the end of the day I could give a crap about what you look like. I love you, behind the armor, scars, white hair and everything else. All I ever wanted was you back and now I have that."

Takashi and I kiss again. this time, with more passion. 

"When this is all over," Takashi says, our hands still interlocked, "Lets get married."

I kiss him to let him now I say yes.


	16. The Engineer

Adam's POV

Another day, another thing to fix.

Katie and I continue to program the interior replacement parts and put them into the lion. After a few hours of adjusting the new parts, It's finished. All we need to do now is test the thing and see how it's working.

"Who pilots the red lion?" I ask.

"Lance does." 

"Great. Wait, he's wearing blue armor."

"It's very complicated."

"Ok? I'm not gonna ask."

I call Lance over and explain the new adjustments and things I've added.

"Ok, Katie an I have gotten the new parts to tap into the motherboard or the lion, meaning that there will be new controls on your dashboard that I'm going to explain to you."

"Nice!"

The two of us enter the lion to see that the dashboard has changed automatically. There is a new section of the dashboard with a few new controls.

"The switches on this side will start the support thrusters, those one will turn on the heat shield, and this one will activate a force field. This is so that you don't run into the issue of crashing and re damaging the lion. Wanna give it a test?"

"Heck yeah!"

"Great."

I exit the lion and go back to the shed.

"Hey, Takashi, get in you lion we're gonna rest out the thrusters in the lion. I made some changes which should get your lion back in the air. But diet I'm going to need you to help test the red lion's new functions."

"Perfect."

I watch Shiro get into his lion and I turn on turn on the communication signal to my computer where I and the rest of the team can communicate to lance and view stats on how the lions are doing.

Adam: "Ready, Lance?"

Lance: "I was born ready!"

Adam: "I like the enthusiasm. Ready Takashi?"

Shiro: "You know it!"

Adam: "I like the sound of that. Start your lions and take it slow."

The red and black lions turn on and their eyes are glowing again.

Everyone gives a cheer.

Adam: "Alright. Lance let's test you first. Pilot the lion as you normally would."

The red lion takes a few steps forward, then walks left and right.

Adam: "All good?"

Lance: "Yeah! She's running smoother than ever."

Adam: "Perfect. Up the speed until you get to a sprint."

The lion walks a little faster. Then faster. The red lion breaks into a slow run accords the desert and ups the speed.

Adam: "Lance, status check."

Lance: "Nothing out of the ordinary."

Adam: "Good. Now take a leap. Jump from side to side. That kinda thing."

He red lion leaps high in the air and lands on al fours perfectly. It runs smoothly, climbs up and down cliffs at ease.

Adam: "Alright now see if you can fly the lion."

Lance: "On it."

With a leap, the thrusters of the lion roar to life and the lion takes off like a jet. 

Everyone cheers from behind me as the lion makes loops and barrel rolls in the sky.

Adam: "That's Perfect. Takashi is going to come out so you can test the new heat shield and force field."

Takashi's lion trots our into the open an grabs a stray boulder and hurls it at the red lion.  
The red lion activates the heat shield and the boulder melts in contact.

Adam: "Everything good?"

Lance: "Heck yeah!"

Adam: "Takashi, use your tail laser."

Shiro: "Locked and loaded."  
*im sorry that was so cringe*

The black lion shoots the red lion but the lasers ricochet off the force field.

Adam: "The red lion is tested and approved. "

Behind me everyone cheers.

"Thank you for repairing the red lion." Allura says hugging me suddenly.

I hug her back.

"Your welcome."

She let's go and I turn back to the black lion. 

Adam: "Now to the black lion. Just fly like you normally would but do it low to the ground."

Takashi: "Okay."

The black lion takes a small leap into the air and the the thrusters activate and the lion lifts off the ground.

Adam: "Okay. Everything good?"

Shiro: "Yeah. Wow your getting good at fixing stuff."

Adam: *blushes* "hehe it's nothing really. Increase the altitude."

The black lion raises up a hundred meters. I'm about to ask for a status check but something goes wrong.

Shiro: "Adam, somethings wrong!"

The Lion begins to fall. The new thrusters I added are malfunctioning.

Adam: "That's Okay. Bring the lion down slowly and gently."

But that doesn't happen. The lion's engines are shutting down and fast.

Shiro: "I'm going to have to crash land."

And the lion does just that, crashing head first into the desert land and slides across the ground. Luckily the lion wasn't too far off the ground so there should be no damage. The lion skids to a stop on all fours.

Adam: "Takashi, are you hurt?"

Shiro: "No I'm alright."

Adam: "You sure? Not even a scratch?"

Shiro: "Relax, I'm okay."

Adam: "What happened out there?"

Takashi: "I don't know. Everything was going smoothly until the thrusters failed."

Adam: "Katie, your analysis?"

Pidge: "There was nothing wrong with the thrusters last time I checked. The stats were perfectly fine until the lion went up in the air. Let's take the thrusters out and check them again."

Shiro: "Okay. I'm coming back."

The lion's thrusters were inspected. Everything was taken apart, put back together and put on the lion once more but it took a lot of work to do so. By then, the sun was beginning to get lower and lower in the sky.

The group went out to get some food while Takashi and I stayed.

Adam: "You ready to try this one more time?" 

Shiro: "I'm ready."

The lion awoke again and the familiar energy seethed from the creature.

Adam: "Take it slow again."

And Takashi did. Everything was fine. He even got the lion up to a sprint.

Adam: "Ready to try this one more time?" 

Shiro: "Yes."

The lion took a massive leap into the air. I kept my fingers and my toes crossed that this would work.

The lion made liftoff and flew twenty meters off the ground.

Adam: "Ok. Bring it up a little further."

The lion kept flying as Takashi pulled up the throttles. 

I must've crossed enough fingers because the lion responded.

It climbed higher and higher into the sky, doing sharp turns and loops.

Adam: "I think it's safe to say that the black lion is a go."

Takashi maneuvered the lion back to camp but he didn't turn it off.

Shiro: "Adam, you said you had a fear of flying an aircraft."

Adam: "Where are you going with this?" 

Shiro: "Come inside the lion. I want you to see the vie from up above."

Adam: "No thanks. I've seen plenty from when I used to fly jets."

Shiro: "Is the fearsome Adam backing down?" 

Adam: "Nope. I just don't have any reason to go up in a flying lion."

Shiro: "Bur I want you to see the world with me! Please!"

Adam: "Takashi, what if I have a panic attack? I need Lyla for that."

Suddenly the black lion took off.

Adam: "Where the fuck are you going?!"

Shiro: "To get your service dog."

Adam: "Are you cray-*cough cough* are you insane?!"

Shiro: "The Australian Shepherd right?"

Adam: "You're seriously doing this?!"

In the end Takashi actually went and got my service dog from my dorm. How he got in without being caught is impressive and a full blown mindfuck.

About an hour later, Takashi walks into the shed with Lyla.

"Takashi, what the heck?!" I shout.

"Glad to see your curbing your bad habits."

Before I can properly shout at Takashi, Lyla runs up to me and tackles me to the ground and licks my face.

God I love this dog.

"Did you ge-"

"Already ahead of you."

Takashi sets down lyla's food dish and dog food in the corner of the room.

"Ready to take the black lion for a spin?"

"I swear to god!"


	17. Then There Were Ten, Two Dogs, And A Cannon

Shiro's POV

Something about Adam brings out the inner man child within me. Like going back for his dog. I had to use Pidge's invisibility cloaking device to get in. It was a piece of cake. 

Now I want cake. 

Anyway, Lyla seemed to know what was going on. She litterally jumped into my arms when I went into the dorm. 

Wait, did I break in and enter? Technically I still live there. Right? I should be fine. 

Point is, Lyla likes to tackle people because she tacked Adam to the ground with fierce affection when we got to the shed.

"I still can't believe you went back for Lyla!" Adam says while Lyla licked his face.

"She is adorable. Look, in the end I will respect your decision not to go, but one of the big reasons why I water you to come is I'm meeting Romelle, Krolia, and her space wolf. I wanted you to meet them before they got back to the group."

"Space wolf? What have you been doing while I was gone?!"

"Dangerous things. Also, Krolia is Keith's mom. Did I mention she is Galran?"

"Keith is an alien human hybrid?! This story just keeps getting weirder and weirder."

"I Know. Point is I need you to meet them because I thought you might like them, and I need you to guide me back to the shed."

"You have the coordinates to get home."

"Okay but if you change your mind, you know where to fine me."

I turn to leave.

"Wait!"

I look back to Adam. He seems worried.

"I know this is going to sound stupid but the last time you went to Kerberos, you disappeared. What if something bad happens again?"

"Don't worry. The lion radio will be on so I can contact you if I need help. I assure you that nothing bad will happen. I'm just picking up a few people."

Adam gives me a serious look.

"Takashi, I'm not so sure about everything."

I can't believe we're having this conversation again. I don't want to fight with him but I need to go get them.

"I'll keep the lion chat on. You can talk to me anytime."

"Even from Kerberos?"

"Even from Kerberos."

Adam gets up and hugs me quickly.

"It's okay. I'll be back before you know it."

Adam nods. I kiss him before I leave.

I'm a little disappointed. I actually thought that Adam would want to try flying again. I've even seen blueprints of his own personal fighter jet. I guess he'll never fly it. It's too bad. The jet looked really cool.

I keep getting reminded of just how badly I screwed up Adam's life. I know the Galra took me by force but I just can't help thinking that this is all my fault. He has reason to be concerned. 

I get into my lion like usual and the lion wakes up. I walk out into the desert night. Looking back, the shed looks so small from behind but I don't have time to think about that now. 

The lion runs back up to a sprint and leaps into the air and is once again airborne.

Engaging all the thrust power in the lion, I fly into the night at mega speed to meet Krolia and the others at Kerberos. 

On my way there, I start to begin to have a bad feeling. 

Adam is right. Last time I went to Kerberos, I was captured by the Galra. Should I suspect that will happen again?

I shake off the feeling and continue to pilot he lion farther and farther away from earth.

Then the signal picks up again.

Adam: "You Okay out there?"

Shiro: "Yeah. Everything is fine."

Adam: "Have you left the atmosphere yet?"

Shiro: "I'm already past mars."

Adam: "Holy crap these lions are fast."

Shiro: "I know right? I'll be back in a few Vargas."

Adam: "What's a varga?"

Shiro: "Oh right. Um, a Varga is about an hour."

Adam: "Okay. While we have the time, we should be thinking about how we're going to face the Galra."

Shiro: "Its easy. We get the lions together, we form Voltron, get backup from the Garrison, we fight.

Adam: "What's Voltron?"

Shiro: "Ok so you know the lions."

Adam: "Somewhat."

Shiro: "Well, they can fuse together and create a super robot. The importance of Voltron is it is the most powerful robot in all existence. It can defeat the Galra, it can travel to different realities-"

Adam: "Takashi, if this Voltron your talking about gets into Garrison hands, they will want to study it."

Shiro: "I know. We have Allura, Pid- um, I mean, Katie, we have Romelle, we got the rest of the Altean, we have so many people we know already. They can help."

Adam: "No! The Garrison will take Voltron and put it through study and torture! Don't you get it?!"

Shiro: "No..."

Adam: "In the last few years, Iverson died! The Garrison has been taken over by Kovu. It's become corrupt! The Garrison probably thinks I got swallowed and killed by the black lion, everyone still thinks you are dead and the kids are missing! If you take this to the Garrison, the Garrison will take you and control you."

Shiro: "What? That isn't the Garrison code."

Adam: "No one remembers the Garrison code!"

Shiro: "Why did Kovu have to screw things over?"

Adam: "I know!"

Just as I'm passing Jupiter, a new signal picks up.

Shiro: "Hey, Adam, I think I'm picking up on the others."

Adam: "Pick up the signal."

The lion radio crackles with sound as it tries to pick up the signal, then with a sharp click, the signal is captured.

Krolia: "Mayday! Mayday! Shiro pick up!"

Shiro: "Krolia? What's wrong?"

The signal goes fuzzy again.

Shiro: "Krolia? Romelle? Pickup!"

Adam: "What's wrong?"

Shiro: "I have no clue- OH MY GOD!"

Adam: "What is it?! Takashi aw you alright?!"

Before me is the largest Galran ship I have ever seen. The battle ship is twice the size of the ships we've seen before. The large cannon at the From is even bigger and takes up most of the ship. This battle ship was build to completely wipe out Voltron!

The static in the radio crackled to life again.

Krolia: "The Galra are coming! Brace yourselves! They have a new weapon! They have evolved!"

Adam: "I think I remember Lance saying to me that the Galra no longer rely on prepared quintessence. The cannon sucks it out of the area around it."

Shiro: "Krolia, Romelle, do you see me?"

Krolia: "Yes!"

Shiro: "Follow me, I'll take you to where the rest of the gang and I are staying."

Krolia: "We need to hurry. The ships may be incredibly slow but they are very very powerful."

From the other side of the signal hear energy lasers fireing. From where my lion is hovered, I se them. Lance was right! 

The cannon loads itself and purple sparks gather around the barrel. Then with a quick recoil, the laser shoots with so much force, the lion begins to shake: 

Adam: "What was that?!"

Shiro: "The new laser cannon!"

Adam: "How fast are the ships going?"

Shiro: "About fifty million mph."

Adam: "THATS INCREDIBLY SLOW?!"

Krolia: "I don't know who you are, but have you seen this ship?! It's huge!"

Adam: "WHAT THE FUCK IS SPACE TECH?!"

Shiro: "I DON'T KNOW, ADAM!"

The cannon loads again and fires at the lion but misses by a couple meters. I need to move!

Romelle: "WHO THE QUIZNACK IS ADAM?!"

Adam: "ME! NOW GET OUT OF THERE AND GET BACK TO EARTH! WE HAVE ROUGHLY EIGHTY VARGAS! 

Krolia: "OUR SHIPS DOESN'T GO THAT FAST!"

Shiro: "ILL COME GET YOU GUYS!"

Krolia: "HURRY! THE SHIP IS LOADING AGAIN!"

Adam: "GET OUT OF THERE, ROMELLE!"

Krolia: "ITS KROLIA!"

Space wolf: *HOWLS*

From the other line there is another cannon shock.

From the large Galran ship what sounds like an intercom clicks.

"Black Lion! You've got nowhere to run!"

Aaaaaaaaaaand it's Sandek. 

Shiro: "I thought we got rid of Sandek!"

Adam: "THERES MORE PEOPLE?! I CANT KEEP UP WITH THIS!!"

Krolia: "Sandek is the enemy!"

Adam: "Who the hell is sandek?!"

Shiro: "Adam, I know this is going to make you angry but I need you to keep a level head right now."

Adam: "Ok, but who the hell is sandek?!"

Shiro: "....he's the reason why I went missing."

Everyone holds their breath waiting for Adam's reaction.

Shiro: "Please stay calm."

Adam: "*in such calm voice, Shiro gets worried* "I'm fine. Just come home safe."

Shiro: "I will this time. Tell the others to suit up. The battle is going to get rough."

Adam: "Does this mean...?"

Shiro: "Yes. Get the Garrison. We need backup."


	18. Galaxy Garrison Mayhem And The Missing four Return

Keith's POV

Lance and I have been talking lately. About us.

"You sure everyone will be fine?" I ask.

"I hope so."

"What about your family?"

"I have a gay cousin. When he came out everyone was fine."

"Ok. How are we going to tell the others?"

Lance thinks for a while.

"I have an idea! We're going to need confetti cannons."

"You're so weird." I say punching his arm.

"You're so weird." He laughs punching my arm back.

I punch him back and we go back and forth until I punch him a little too hard and he falls out of his chair.

"Ow."

"Sorry! God I don't know my own strength."

I get up to give Lance a hand. Lance grabs my hand but instead of getting up, Lance pulls me down with him. I flop on top of him.

"Lance!" I whine.

He just laughs at me.

Then I notice the position were in.  
I'm straddling his legs, my arms are on ether side of his face. Instinctively, I lean down and close my eyes. Before we kiss again the distress radio comes up. 

I try to get off of Lance but the distress and video chat gets turn back on. 

We seriously need to put a limit on that thing.

The radio chat comes in from Adam to everyone.

Adam: "Everyone! This is an emergency! The Galra is..."

Adam's voice trails off as I get off of Lance and help him up. 

Allura: "Did everyone see what I just saw?"

Pidge: "Hunk owes me fifty bucks!"

Lance: "You put bets on us?!"

Keith: "Nows not the time. Adam, you were saying?"

Adam: "Guys, I just got news from Takashi. The Galra are coming in about 80 Vargas. We need to be prepared because Lance was right! The Galra are using new weapons. We need to get the Garrison for backup."

Hunk: "When is Shiro getting back?"

Adam: "Not for a few Vargas, but you four need to return to the Garrison. Get help! There is only one person in the Garrison who will listen to you four."

Pidge: "Kovu?"

Adam: "NO! It's your father, Katie. All of you, go to him and tell him to get as much back up as you can. We are talking about an evil battle ship that ten times bigger than voltron!"

Hunk: "But how big is voltron?"

Adam: "If my calculations are correct, Voltron is as tall as the Elizabeth Tower."

Allura: "Whats the Elizabeth Tower?"

Adam: "A clock tower in England. We have no time to be distracted. You four are going to have to sneak in. I may have some of my old cadet uniforms for you all to try on but get to the shed quickly! This is very serious."

Lance and I jump up and start running out of the lion and get to the shed.

When we open the door, Adam throws us his old cadet uniforms. 

"Try these on. I hope the cadet uniform hasn't changed."

By now Pidge gets to the shed.

"You have a uniform that will fit me?" She asks.

Adam rummages around in a few drawers until he finds a uniform.

"I'm sorry, but here."

Pidge looks at the uniform.

"I'm not an eleven year old cadet!" Pidge whined.

"Well you fit the uniform of one." Adam said dryly.

"Why do you still have that?" I said.

Adam stops short. 

"They're hand me downs from my older brother." 

"Where is your older brother?" I ask.

"Dead. He crashed in an aircraft."

Everyone goes silent.

"It's okay. That happened years ago. Just put in the uniforms."

We all get back to work. 

Adam throws Hunk one of his old senior officer uniforms.

"Hey, why does he get the senior officer uniform?" Lance complains.

"Because it's the biggest size I have."

"But you're so...small." 

"It's been a few years since I hit the gym and I have fast metabolism. Enough said, just put them on!"

We all put in the uniforms. And get in our lion's.

"Commander Holt will be in his old office. Katie, I assume you know the way."

"Yes."

"Everyone, don't draw attention to yourselves. You will have to fly in the green lion to get there under the invisibility cloaking device."

"How will we communicate?" Hunk asks

"I'm giving you all earpieces so I can talk to you but be quiet and stealthy. They record everything you say so don't say something stupid because I'll use it for blackmail."

Hunk looks shocked.

"I'm just messing with ya. But I can hear everything. Press this button to turn the volume up and down, and this button turns up the mic so I can hear you better. Unless I ask you, don't press the third button. Everyone ready?"

"Yes."

"Move out."

We all get into the green lion and head out under the invisibility cloaking device.

We fly low to the ground using the new silent thrusters Adam added.

We fly though the desert for a while. In the dark until we get close. We stop the lion in a ditch near the Garrison and we travel the rest of the way in foot.

Adam: "You near the Garrison?"

Lance: "Yes. We go though the front doors?"

Adam: "No. Go through the west wing. Commander Holt's office is closer though that way. Act natural when you enter. Look down."

Lance: "Got it."

We then run quietly to the west wing entrance. We go through the dimly lit halls with no attention so far. 

I forgot how dark this place gets at night. It's perfect for keeping out of trouble.

Adam: "Everything Okay?"

Lance: "Things are going great."

We walk past the instructors lounge, and past the dormitories until a kid walks up to us.

He's about eleven.

"Hey could you point me to where the astrology deck is? I'm rather new here and I think I forgot one of my textbooks."

We all look at Hunk.

Adam: "Guys, you close yet."

"Um, if I remember correctly, it's past the physics classroom." Hunk says to the cadet.

Adam: "Guys? What's going on?"

Pidge: *muttering under her breath* "Quiet, Adam!"

"The astrology deck isn't open to cadets after curfew. I need you to come with me."

I look at a clock.

It's eleven at night. This kid should be in bed.

"You have my permission to go without a Senior Officer."  
Hunk says and turns to walk away.

"Please! If kovu finds me, I'll be expelled!" The kid urges.

We all turn to look at hunk. Hunk gives us an exasperated look and follows the kid.

"Thank you!"

The cadet and Hunk go down a corridor.

"I'll catch you guys later." He says as he turns down a corner.

Lance: "Ok. We're good. The Garrison uniform you gave Hunk is working. We got a kid to think he's a senior officer and now he has to go with the kid to help him get a textbook he left in the astrology deck."

Adam: "Crap! The astrology deck is on the other side of the Garrison. I just hope he can fool everyone else keep going."

Now down to three, Lance, Pidge and I continue down the hallway.

We walk a few more meters until a teacher walks up to us.

"You!" She says pointing at Pidge. "It's past your curfew. What are you doing out?" 

"Umm, uhh." She falters.

Lance steps in and puts his arm around her.

"He just got lost. I'm taking him back to the dorms." Lance says smoothly.

"If that's what your doing, get some glasses while your at it. The sign says the dorms is that way!" She barks, pointing behind us.

"Oh, hehe. Well I'll just get him back to the dorms and fix my contacts." 

Lance walks away with Pidge stiffly.

The teacher watches them turn the corner.

"And you!" She says pointing at me. "Your haircut breaks the dress code here. Get it cut soon." She orders.

"Yes, Mam." I sat with a small stiff salute.

She gives me a dirty look before she turns back and slam the door to her office.

I never remember the Garrison having a dress code.

Adam: "I don't remember the Garrison having a dress code." 

Keith: "That's what I though."

Adam: "Alright you three near the office yet?"

Keith: "Were down to one. Lance and Pidge had to play curfew breaker to convince a teacher."

I think I hear Adam facepalm from the other side.

Adam: "Well get into the office now!"

Keith: "On it!"

I turn back to the hall. No one is there so I go ahead and run. 

I get closer and closer to the commander offices. 

I'm just about to turn into an office with the words "Holt." in thick lettering.

I reach out my hand to open the door but a voice behind me stops me.

"Kogane. I though you dropped out years ago." Says a cold voice from behind me.

I whip around to see Kovu. 

In my absence, he's gotten meaner, older, and definitely uglier. 

"Sargent, Kovu." I acknowledge.

"Why are you here?" He says threateningly.

"I'm here to see Commander Holt." I say firmly.

"You want to see him? *raspy old man chuckling* He's gone."

Adam: "Keith what's going on?" 

I can't talk to Adam right now. 

Adam: "Kei-"

I turn the volume on my ear piece down low.

"What's that in your ear?" 

"A hearing aid." I lie easily.

"That's a shame. We don't allow students with disabilities here anymore."

"Where is Commander Holt?"

"I fired him." 

"What? Why?"

"He kept that crazy lunatic, Adam at the Garrison. The poor guy lost his will to work when Shiro left. He stopped sleeping and become tired all the time. He stopped eating so he raided the lounge cereal supply. He moped about Shiro's death for years. He became worthless and at the Garrison, we don't stand for worthless." 

I feel like he's about to say something that will ruin him, but how will anyone believe me. 

I try to remember. 

"They record everything you say so don't say something stupid because I'll use it for blackmail."

I bring my hand to my ear piece and turn up the mic volume to high so Adam can hear this.

"Sorry what was that? My hearing aid is acting up again." I say trying to fake being embarrassed.

"You were saying?"

Adam: "Keith what the heck are you doing? This is not a hearing aid!"

"I said, that I got rid of Holt. I control the Garrison now! Everyone will believe me."

"Where did you put him?" I ask, trying to sound defenseless and on the edge of tears.

"His family and the rest of the Garrison thinks he died on an exploration mission to Titan. But I just arrested him for life."

Adam: "What the fuck?! Is that kovu?!"

"Why did you do it?" I fake sob.

God I'm getting good at acting.

"You little brat! You think I'll tell you?"

"Please just let me back into the Garrison! I'll keep this secret I swear!" I sank to my knees and keep pretending to sob.

Kovu gives me a dirty look.

"You really are weak. Just like Holt was. He knew that Shiro wasn't dead. The Kerberos mission wasn't a failure. He and Holt's son were taken by an alien race. We just hid the evidence."

I pretended to cry harder.

"Holt was just about to spill the news that Shiro is alive but I wanted him dead."

"How could you do this to Shiro? He's my brother!"

"He was going to take over the Garrison! He was already breaking records, making history! I wanted to be the one to do that. Besides, the Garrison is greater under my command."

I know I've got what i want now.

"Kovu, do you really think I'm weak?" I spit.

"No. You're a clever boy, I knew you were faking everything. But guess what? No one will believe you. And you can give up on trying to re enter the Garrison. We don't want people like you."

Adam: "Keith, I got it recorded. All of it. Set the earpiece on the ground and press the third button."

I take out my ear piece.

"What? Don't want to listen to me?" Kovu taunts. 

"No, but I bet Adam wants to."

"What?"

I press the third button on the earpiece and lay it on the ground. 

A two screen projection comes up. One of Adam back at his shed the other of Shiro piloting the lion. 

I look back to kovu, who doesn't look so brave anymore.

"Senior Officers Takashi and Adam Shirogane."

Shiro: "Huh?"

Adam: "I took your last name after you were pronounced dead."

Shiro: "That's Okay. I just hope everyone can tell us apart when we turn you in, Kovu." 

Adam: "We got you recorded, and if you didn't know yet, Katie Holt is going to broadcast this all over the Garrison."

Shiro: "You should've chosen your words wisely."

Kovu's anxious expression melts into a sly grin

"No one will believe you!" 

Adam: "Oh really, then why is the rest of the four missing kids behind you?"

Kovu whips around to see Hunk, Pidge, and Lance behind him along with the cadet and teacher we ran into.

Shiro: "We also have a few Alteans and a Galran to testify."

In the projections, my mom, Romelle, Allura and Coran step into frame.

Then from Shiro's projection, Space Wolf jumps into frame.

Adam: "And yes, a space dog!"

Kovu is overwhelmed and beginning to be irrational.

"I can bribe them, I can threaten them all!" He screams in rage.

"That's against the Garrison Code!" I retort.

Adam: "Were still recording you."

Shiro: "You can't save yourself! You might as well run yourself in!"

"That's not going to happen!"

Kovu breaks off into a sprint.

I try to tackle him but he shoves me away as he takes down the hall.

Adam and Shiro: "After him!"

I pickup the earpiece and the four of us take after him, sprinting down the hall like we've never sprinted before. We take down the West Wing Hall headed to the main entrance.

"Guys, I'm going to get his broadcasted all over the Garrison!"

"You go!" I yell after her as she turns down another hallway.

The rest of us keep chasing Kovu nearer and nearer to the main hall when the ground begins to tremble and shake. 

"Earthquake!" A girl cries.

"No! It's the black lion!" Lance shouts in her direction.

"Black lions don't exist!" She shouts back.

"Well, this one does." I yell back as the skylights and windows of the Garrison main hall reveal the black lion flying around the Garrison. 

People scream in terror while they run but we keep our sights in on kovu. 

As we run, my mom, Space Wolf, Pidge, Romelle, Allura and Coran join us as they come streaming through the front entrance. 

"Guys, in about fifteen seconds the audio and video will start to broadcast all over the Garrison, to Garrison ships, to nearby bases, everywhere!"

"Let's cause some mayhem!" Someone shouts from behind me.

We look to see that Adam has joined us and he's wearing armor he designed himself.

"Nice getup!" Coran shouts over the screams of the people around us.

"Thanks."

We keep after kovu but we don't seem to be fast enough. Hunk is slowing down and Adam is beginning to complain that he should've stayed in shape but Space Wolf teleports ahead and grabs the hem of Kovu's uniform and rugs at it viciously.

"Get off of me! No one will believe you!" Kovu screams.

"The projection is a go in three, two...."

Suddenly all the lights turn out and projections open over the white marble walls of the Garrison and the audio we took starts to play.

People freeze to watch the screen. 

We stop to listen to Kovu's voice on playback.

"The Kerberos mission wasn't a failure. He and Holt's son were taken by an alien race. We just hid the evidence. His family and the rest of the Garrison thinks he died on an exploration mission to Titan. But I just arrested him for life. No one will believe you! I CAN BRIBE THEM, I CAN THREATEN THEM ALL!"

I watch as Space Wolf drags kovu out into the open while he screams and thrashes. 

People start muttering, then talking. Then people start shouting and getting angry screaming things like 

"Where is Shiro... give us Holt back...Shiro is alive?"

They throw things at Kovu while space wolf holds him down.

I'll be sure to give him a treat for it later. 

As if right on que, the lion is right in front of the glass entrance to the Garrison. 

People stare in wonder as the lion makes a projection of its own.

When the live video of Shiro is projected, everyone begins to cheer and shout.

The cheering melts into everyone chanting: 

SHIRO! SHIRO! SHIRO! 

Shiro looks pleased but he raises his hand to silence everyone and they all obey his command with no resilience or hesitance.

"Hello Galaxy Garrison. I know you all may be confused or scared right now. There is nothing to fear besides Kovu. Everything that has been broadcasted is true and was recorded not to long ago. I am here in the black lion to tell you that I am alive and well. I am here with Adam and the missing four cadets."

Everyone roars in applause and Shiro patiently waits for the cheering to go down so he can continue.

"I know I have so much to talk about my disappearance, where I've been, but we can get to that if you help me. I am a paladin of Voltron and so are the missing four. Voltron is an alien robot built by Alteans. It is he strongest force in the universe but it needs your help. In seventy eight hours there will be a large battleship piloted by an alien race called the Garlans, coming to Earth to destroy Voltron and take over the universe. To keep peace where we are we will need to fight back but Voltron can't do it alone. We need you, the Galaxy Garrison to help us in the fight.   
With me, I have three altean, and a Galran spy and a space wolf. Together we must join forces to end the war and destruction the Galran empire has raged upon the universe."

Everyone around is confused.

"I know you all may not believe me but when the Garlan come, the fight is going to commence and it will be  brutal. I am calling upon everyone here to join Voltron in the fight. For freedom! For peace! For the future!"

Everyone cheers again. The uproar is enough to break sound barriers and make my ears hurt.

"Thank you for your willingness to help us. This is all very sudden and we must take time to get organized. Carry on as usual and report to the Garrison by the hour seven hundred tomorrow. Get some rest. You'll need it for tomorrow preparations."

The projection switches off and the lion takes off to the other side of the building to talk with the High Commander.

As for us, people come up to us. 

They cheer for us, they congratulate us, they talk with us but Allura, Coran and my mom usher us away from the crowd. We almost have to drag Lance away from the crowd of screaming girls pooling around him.

"Lance!" 

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. I love the fame and glory!" He giggles.

"Okay but you're still mine." I whisper in his ear.

Lance blushes but I laugh as I take his hand in mine.

We head back into the green lion while holding off paparazzi.

Just as we load in, Adam, my mom, Coran and Allura all say they have to go back to the Garrison. 

"Why?" Pidge asks

"We have to see the High Commander and discuss our battle plan." Allura explains.

Suddenly the room goes quiet. 

"You don't need us watching over you four tonight." My mom says.

"We think its best that you four rest without us." Allura assures us.

"And what? Let the adults do the talking?" Lance retorts.

"No. Its just that we've watched you grow from you unsure kids into brave warriors."

"Ive never felt so proud to mentor you four and teach you all.In the end, I guess you've taught me more." Coran says with a smile.

"Coran is right. I've only spent a few days with you guys but I feel what Allura, Coran and Krolia are saying. You all have grown up together. You've made bonds that are unbreakable and you taught us all as well as yourselves what it means to be family. Before I had to get you guys away from the Garrison crowd, Takashi was talking to me about how proud he is of all of you, to fight along side you and watch you develop into brave young men and women. He really means it." 

I suddenly feel compelled to do something I dont normally do. 

I walk up to my mom, Adam, Allura and Coran.

And I embrace them.

I can't describee the happiness, pride and love i feel for each and every one of these people. I hope I made my point clear because everyone starts to pull in. 

We don't need words to tell eachother how we feel. 

I can feel everyone's embrace around me, and I don't feel like such a loner anymore. 

We have become a family. 

We stay huddled together for what seems like forever.

"Rest tonight. You all deserve it." Allura ays finally.

We brake and Allura, Coran, my mom and Adam leave.

Then Pidge starts the Lion, and we fly away into the dark night sky.


	19. Th Insecure And The Strong

Keith's POV.

That night after we gout out of the green lion, Hunk, Pidge and Lance suggested that we all have a group sleepover in the shed. 

I have been used to sharing the red lion with Lance but I agreed because Lance begged me to go. 

I decided to crash on the couch and Lance cuddle up next to me.

We all went to sleep, or I tried to go to sleep, but something felt very very wrong. 

Judging just by what everyone was saying yesterday, I feel like my responsibilities are going to increase and I really don't like that.

I can't seem to shake off the feeling that I might need to be in charge of my own fleet of fighter jets. 

I don't want that responsibility. There could be casualties and I can't stand he idea that we might loose the fight with the Galra.

I don't want to be responsible for somebody's death. 

I can't handle this.

At around one in the morning, i couldn't stand it anymore. I have to get out of here!

Everyone was fast asleep on the ground or on the couch in the shed corner. 

I had to slip out from under lance who was draped over me in his sleep. I love him but he's a little bit clingy.

I walked around everyone sleeping on the floor of the shed. I still can't believe they were comfortable.

I need to get out of here and clear my head because the only thing that is going through my head is a million ways of getting somebody killed and being responsible. Or being in charge of training some cadets and doing it improperly. Heck I never even finished cadet training! How can I lead?

I leave the shed. The night is still dark and cold, and the wind is blowing.

After taking a few steps away from the shed, I break into a run to the lions.

The stupid thing I I have no idea what lion to go to anymore. Shiro has taken over the black lion again, I used to pilot it, lance piloted it once, I don't know anymore.

I go to the black lion and wait for the eyes to glow and it to bend down to let me in. 

But it stays dark.

No. No no No NO!

I run closer to the lion.

"Let me in! Please!" I call up to the lion, but I does not hear me.

I hit my fist on the metal claw with a bang and pain shoots up my arm. I would bang my fist down again but my hand is throbbing. I yell out to the lion louder.

"Please! Stay with me! No one ever stays with me! Hell, everyone leaves me in the end but I can't have you leave me now!"

The lion stays still. 

"Please! One last time!"

I knew this wouldn't have worked.

I'm lionless. The black lion won't take me anymore. 

I sink to my knees.

"Please! I need to go somewhere. I promise I'll stay on the team! I'll continue to lead! Just let me leave this place. Just please let me in!"

I get the sense that this won't work anymore. No amount of begging or pleading will work. The lion refuses pilots who are weak anyway. In the end everyone refuses to be near me. It's just a matter of time until Lance leaves me. 

In my disparity, something changes. Something bad. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Not since the day I lost my father.

Something like a huge mix of blind rage, fear, and despair churn  
in my stomach. It heats up everything within me. Spreading from the pit of my stomach to every limp. 

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this. I don't know...I don't know... 

I scream out as loud as I can and my throat burns with the effort. 

I scream and cry out with all the energy I can produce. 

I scream out my pent up frustration, my anger, my confusion, fear, my self doubt, and all the negativity I feel. The only way to describe this feeling is like I'm boiling over and I can't stop raging. 

I could get in my lion and go out and destroy something but my selfish ways have taken that from me. 

I truly am a prisoner of myself. 

Out of all this fiery heat and uncontrollable mess I become, the only way I can ever seem to stop is if I cool off. And I can. Because I cry. 

Amidst the shouting, my enraged yelling melts into hopeless sobbing and tears stain the desolate ground around me. The sadness and exhaustion stains my clothes, my skin, everything. 

It comes out like a flood and pours out like a wave and cools the fiery rage. Then it comes to a slow. Until it drips out of me and eventually stops. 

Then there is cold. And it stays cold until another thing in my life adds up again and the process starts over. But sometimes it will take months or even a year to start all over again. 

Right now I just wait for another thing to give me a reason to blow up again in the future. I get up off my knees which have gone numb. 

Rising to my feet, I take a shaky step, letting the feeling go back to my legs as I turn to walk away. 

I can't go where I wanted to be so I'm stuck in the shed again.

I walk to the metal sliding doors again when someone's soft voice comes from behind me.

I turn around.

It's Lance.

Of all the people in the world I just had to be Lance! 

Here is where the process starts again. Starting with him.

"Keith, what's wrong." He says softly.

I turn away.

"Nothing." Is say hoarsely. I must've threw out my voice from the screaming and crying from earlier.

"The Red lion." 

"What about it?"

"It's not taking me." He says almost above a whisper.

I whip around.

"What?"

"The lions seem to be going back to their original paladins. Blue is accepting me again." 

We walk up to the red and blue lions who await us, their eyes glowing.

"I thought try would never take us back." I say. More like cough out. 

"They will take you back." Lance says softly. "They always do." 

Lance pats the muzzle of the blue lion who is already prepared to accept Lance in.

"Keith, I kinda...eavesdrops on you. I know it was wrong but...I'm not going to leave you." He says. He brushes my hair out of my eyes gently.

Liar. 

"Look, I know you might not believe me but I know what it feels like to think that everyone is going to use you and then leave you."

I look up to Lance. Even he is beginning to tear a little.

"I know how it feels. I promised myself that I wouldn't feel it ever again. And when I failed myself..."

I take lance in my arms. 

"I know what that felt like too. And I don't want you to feel that way. You mean so much to me. More than you know. I love you." I say as I hold him.

Lance gives me a quick squeeze before letting go. 

"Enough with all this sad crap. You said you wanted to go somewhere." He asks.

"I've changed my mind." 

"You sure, the red lion is always ready to go for a spin." 

I kiss Lance. If I don't he'll start tanking again.

He kisses back and when we break for air. I let him know what's on my mind.

"Where I want to be is with you."


	20. Everything’s Still Here

This one goes out  to all you grieving people. Season 7 killed me too but I'm here to make it right. Please enjoy this chapter. I hope to rejuvenate your empty souls.

Shiro's POV 

 

It feels amazing to be back at the Garrison. I never knew that so many people cared about me. Now that I'm back, we have no time to rest. We need to get back to business.

After shutting off the live projection, I flew the lion to the back of the Garrison to the aircraft landing pads where I landed the lion. 

After the lion shut off, many officers and commanders came flooding out of the Garrison. they were cheering. Among them was Adam and the Alteans. 

 

I guess I can be considered a hero but what did I do to deserve this? I just came home.

Getting out of the lion I was greeted by the High Commander as well as the extensive staff and teachers. They were excited to see me again. They welcomed me home with open arms.

I was treated like a hero, but I don't feel like one.

As much celebrating there could've been done,  I don't have time to rest. I went to the High Commander immediately.

 

"High Commander, we have so much to discuss."  

"Indeed we do, but I think that Allura and the others can provide us with the information we need for tonight."

"Excuse me, but I don't understand." 

"Senior Officer Shirogane, It is not that I find you inadequate. In fact, I admire you're combat skills and strategist thinking but evaluating your current state, you are in need of recovery. I strongly advise that you go to your dormitory and take a much needed rest." 

"Thank you, High Commander." 

With that, Garrison guards lead me out of the ever growing crowd of people.

In the halls, Adam walks beside me.

"Shouldn't you be with the others?" I ask him.

"I'm a guard, remember?"

"Right, but you need to regain your post as top engineer. You need to get back in the lab."

"Concerning that you're back and Kovu is newly arrested I shouldn't have any problem getting my position back."

"That's good." I say with a heavy sigh.

"I'm going to go back to the others and get them out of here. The crowd is too much for them."

"I agree."

As we pass through the main hall again, I can see the four of them talking to the crowd. I can see that Lance is enjoying the attention. The others are talking to the cadets. Suddenly I am hit with a strange feeling. The four of them don't really look like kids anymore. I think this is the feeling that parents get when their children grow up because I am filled with a sense of immense pride.  

"I think that we don't need to watch over them anymore." I say quietly.

"Why?" 

"I feel like a parent saying this but I feel like the kids can take care of themselves tonight."

"I guess so. Why is that?"

I smile to myself.

"I've never been prouder of them. They've grown up from kids to brave paladins. Tomorrow they begin to be leaders to the Garrison. I think we should give them this night to themselves before things change."

"I'll tell them that." Adam says.

Adam and the rest of the adults from our group go with them to get them back to the shack because the dorms are full in the Garrison.

As for me, I'm left to myself after the guards escort me to the left wing exit near the dorms. 

The guards stop at the exit and head off to guard something while I'm left to walk on my own to the dorms. 

The student dorms are kept separate from the Staff and Officer dorms. The Student dorms are inside the main Garrison building but to get to my dorm I have to walk down a pathway past the old labs Adam used to work in. 

Pushing the door open, I am greeted by a cool breeze from outside and a wide view of the stars. 

One reason why I love the Garrison so much is the stars are always so bright against the dark night sky. 

Heading down the pathway, the feeling of concrete under my feet is all too familiar. I almost don't have to think about anything. I know that way home by heart, where I've always wanted to go. 

Heading to an apartment complex, The trees that line the walkway look the same. Its like nothing changed. 

I head to the third building. I come to a walkway leading to a parking lot outside the dorms. Looking three spaces to the left, I'm surprised to see my old Chevrolet Impala parked right where I usually keep it. 

Walking over to it, I reach out to feel the smooth black painted surface. There is a layer of dust but that's normal. I guess someone has been looking after my old things. 

I mentally thank Adam.

I look in through the window to see the unfinished cup of coffee that has probably been sitting inside for four years. That's gross, but hey, my car smells like coffee now so that's a plus.

Turning away from my car I walk up to the steel gate and let myself into the yard that encloses the front complex. Here, there is a grass lawn and some lawn chairs. Here I used to lay on the grass long into the night and watch the stars with Adam.

I walk up the stairs to the second level and head right to the second farthest dorm number 324. 

Before I go in, I stop short and look down. 

I still cringe at our doormat that says in black bold letters "Come Back With A Warrant". At Target when Adam and I were shopping for things when we moved in after graduation, Adam really wanted that doormat. I thought it was kind of stupid but who am I to resist giving into Adam's weird obsessions?

I smile to myself as I open the door and walk in. 

The first think I think of is what I'm wearing.  Usually when I walk in the first thing I do is I take off my jacket and hang it up on the row of hooks on the side of the wall. That is if I'm wearing a jacket.

Looking at the wall, I see my old hoodie. Well, It used to be mine. After Adam and I became boyfriends we started sharing clothes. He took a liking to that hoodie so I gave it to him. As for me, I think I kind of took over his favorite pride T shirt. It's completely rainbow and its really soft, heh like him.

 

I take off the outer armor and set it down on the floor underneath the coat hooks.

I go to the room I share with Adam and change into some sweatpants and a loose t shirt and then I raid the fridge.

God its been so long since I've had pizza. 

I shove a slice of cold pizza in my mouth and I end up finishing the box.

Usually when this happens, Adam gets upset because he wanted some. 

Then he raids my stash of ice cream in the freezer. Speaking of which...

(Three pints of emptied matcha ice cream later)

That was one of the best decision I ever made.

 

I look at my watch. It reads Hour 22.

I head to my old bedroom where again, nothing has changed. well, a few things. 

There are picture frames I've never seen before. They line the walls.

They are all framed polaroid's of Adam and me. These were the pictures we were going to put in the  photo book, but I went off to Kerberos and then you know what happens. 

A specific picture catches my eye. Its framed but its on the right side nightstand. Walking over to it, I pick it up.

Its a framed polaroid of Adam and I from the Garrison. It was the day before we fought before I left to go to Kerberos.

I can't help getting the feeling that this place hasn't changed but I have changed so much. 

The old me from the pictures is a completely different person. He isn't cloned, he still has his left arm, there is no scar on his face, his hair is still black and he hasn't seen the things I've seen. He still believes that space is a wonderful place and that he fits in somewhere along with the stars. 

We still love Adam and the Garrison, but I don't think I have the same respect and fear I once had for space.

That's what never changed about me. I still love the stars, the universes, the cosmos, the way is glitters brilliantly but I also have come to admire the destruction and the darker edges of the unknown. 

 

This place is four years stuck in the past, I'm four years ahead of it and Adam is stuck somewhere in between what he wants and wants to deny. They only place we seem to finally be on the same page is among stardust because that's where all three of us are the same.

To anyone who hears this, you can break me, you can take everything away from me, you can hurt the people I love, but no one will ever take away the stardust in my veins.

Just then I hear the door open. 

The hollow sounds and pace of the souls of footsteps immediatley tells me that Adam is home. 

I set the picture frame down and walk out into the living room where he would be having his coat up right now.

 He turns around to see me.

"I thought you'd be asleap." He says. 

"No. I was waiting for you." 

He smiles and walks over to the fridge. Oh boy, here it comes.

He opens up the fridge and I stand there waiting for his reaction.

"You ate all the pizza." He says flatly.

"And the three tubs of ice cream."

He laughs.

"Its good to see that things are gong back to normal." he says pulling ou an apple.

We sit at the kitchen island and talk for a while about the battle strategy the gang made with the Garrison leaders.

"So they will all get personal fleets of ships. The officers have been matched to each paladin."

"And the cadets?" 

"They will go about their normal school day but when the Galra come they will be evacuated."

"Good. We cant risk getting them involved."

"But come to think of it, the missing four never finished their cadet training."

"I don't want to think about that. I have faith that they can handle the challenge." 

"Don't worry. We have everything set."

I pause for a moment. I really want to know something but I don't want to bother Adam with my worrying.

"You're doing the thing again." Says Adam.

"Im sorry. Its just I need to know how you will be involved."

"I don't play a big role. Im just going to keep desighning upgrades for the lions and maybe even make some new ships. The Coran guy, I know he seems like a ditz but he is actually really smart."

'"I know. I just dont want you to be put in danger."

 

"Easy for you to say, youre fighting at the forefront." Adam says.

We both stop. If we continue talking we are sure to get in a disagreement about danger and being safe and what happened last time. 

"Unlike last time, I'm not so worried about you. You need to take a load off for the night. We can discuss this in the morning."

We get up and head to bed.

One thing I remember is we slept in the same bed together. 

Get your heads out of the gutter, this is a fluff chapter!

I take my usual right side a Adam takes his usual left side and the light is turned out.

If things take its usual corse from your years ago, Adam will sleep on his left side facing me I'll put my arm around him and we'll be cuddled close until morning. 

Tonight something is alittle different. I'm the one facing right and Adam is the one who puts his arm around me and holds me close to him. 

No wonder Adam likes this so much. Its safe, its warm, and I don't need to worry about anything.

As the two of us drift to sleep, I feel a gentle kiss to my forehead. 

Eveything is alright.


	21. The Wrong Way Around

Keith's POV

 

Today is the day that everything changes for us. Am I ready?

Absolutely not.

The four of us suit up like usual but with a new sense of purpose as we load into our lions.  
"So the red and blue lions have made their final Paladin choices?" Pidge asks.

"Pidge, oh my god! We get your irritability at the fact that our lions never deep to stick to a paladin! Let it go!" 

"Okok, I'm sorry. Just don't loose your cool today. We have to be leaders to the Garrison you know."  
"I can't believe this. We never even finished cadet training and now we're gonna have a bunch of officers treat us like legends! You would think it was the other way around." Hunk comments.  
"Guys we don't have time for this. We need to get to the Garrison."

We go over to our lions and fly them back to the Garrison in time to see the High Commander with the daily report.

"Today will be different for most of you. Officers, Commanders and Sergeants, you will be put into training with the Voltron Paladins. Paladins, you will all be in charge of your own fleet. You have been matched with the officers in your fleet. As for you cadets, you will all be assigned to stay with your regular schedule but when the Galra come, you will be evacuated immediately. Is that understood?"

In response, the Garrison answered with a salute and a stiff "Yes, Mam!" 

And then the four of us were taken inside the Garrison conference halls to meet the members of our individual fleets.

Fan-quiznacking-tastic. Just the thing I was trying to avoid!

As we were being guided down halls I've never seen before, the four of us got sight of Adam. 

He was holding a clipboard with complex graphs and blue prints of some sorts. 

Adam had prepared a presentation and was wearing his Engineer medal again. 

The four of us greeted him.

To my surprise, he was different than his usual reckless sarcastic foul mouthed self. 

"You got your old position again?" I asked him.

"Yeah! I'm going to be adding more upgrades to your lions!"

"That's good to hear." Lance says. 

"Dude, you have no idea how good it feels to be back! Just wait until you see what we have planned for upgrades!" 

There's the Adam I remember from my cadet years. Always excited about something, always engineering something with a carefree attitude. 

Even going back to his normal self, his usual habit of picking fights is missing. 

It's really strange because you would think that with his inability to control his language, Adam would get in a fight with someone but he never has. 

We also meet Shiro in the halls.

Something is different about him. For starters, he actually looks well rested and relaxed. 

He's wearing his old senior officer uniform but a new medal has been placed upon his uniform next to the many medals he earned over his lifetime. 

That's something I haven't seen in a long time.

It occurs to me that people like Shiro and Adam are falling back into an old and well rehearsed routine and the four of us returned cadets are being thrust to the world of the pros and it's scary already. 

I look over at the others who don't seem phased by any of this. But then again, they can't hear what I'm thinking.

The four of us eventually split off, but before Lance and I are separated, he squeezes my hand reassuringly and tells me not to worry.

I squeeze his hand back before we split off.

I go to a room with other Garrison officials and sit though a short presentation of the battle strategy and honestly, it isn't that bad.

Us paladins will obviously be in the fight but we're not alone.

We all get our own personal fleets to control and battle strategies to practice. Each fleet member has been matched to me personally by Allura, my mom, Coran and Adam. I have faith that their decisions won't give me hell, or worse, give my fleet crew hell. 

Speaking of Adam, he has returned as top engineer with new upgrades to test and revise. He will be the one to design new ships, new weapons, new everything. I forget how much of a genius this guy can be. 

Shiro seems to be given the most amount of responsibility. Not only is he going to fly the black lion, he is the overseer of the Garrison independent fleets, giving orders and calling the shots which gives me a reason to relax a little.

Allura and Coran will be working in the intelligence department with some of the engineers. They will provide the necessary information to build weapons and shields with but in the fight, Allura will pilot a fighter jet.  
On the other hand, Coran will be behind the scenes monitoring the lions.

As for my mom, she will aid on training some of the officers for battle on what to expect for the fight and will act as a Galran spy.

Admit it, my mom is really cool.

Kosmo and Romelle will be around for moral support. 

The rest is unimportant. I'm getting ready to meet my flight crew, a row of lined officers awaiting my command.

It seems strange that each and every one of these officers are willing to take orders from me. I might just make the wrong move and get us all killed.  
I shudder at the though.

Kinkade speaks up on behalf of the fleet.

"Keith, we have been instructed to be your fleet crew. I assume you are familiar with the battle tactics?"

"Yes."

"Good to hear. In battle we will be following your orders. Anything you'd like to say about that?" Kinkade asks.

I swallow hard.

"I don't know if I can do this. How can you trust me? How can you know that I won't make a rash decision and put us all in danger?" I ask.

"Senior Officers Adam and Takashi Shirogane, your mother, Princess Allura, Coran and Romelle have expressed their undying faith in you and your ability as the Red Paladin. It is our duty to entrust that what has been said is true." Kinkade said firmly.

I assume that he say how nervous I was because he broke officer formality for a moment. 

"Look kid, all these people believe in you. I know better than anyone that it can be hard to believe in yourself but you just have to forget the consequences sometimes. Any action is better than no action." 

Another fleet crew member spoke up as well.

"Keith, we have been trained for things like this. You don't have to worry. The purpose of having a personal fleet is that we ensure your safely in battle and aid you. Everything will fall into place."

I have no choice but to nod.

Kinkade pats me on the back.

"You'll do great. Now, what are your orders Red Paladin?"

I'm in charge of a fleet of ships being piloted by people.

I'm fighting in a robot Mecha lion!

I'm at war against an evil empire.

And I have to take risks.

"Let's get to training."


	22. The Past Won’t Let Me Go But The Future Wonr Let Me In

Coran's POV  
(Because he needs some appreciation)

(Thirteen Vargas Ago)

After the meeting with the High Commander and Galaxy Garrison staff, Adam has to go back to his shared dorm with Shiro but what I forgot to tell him is that Krolia, Romelle, Allura and I have no idea where to stay.

Just as he turns the corner to the main hall exit, I run to catch up with him.

"Adam, I forgot to mention something during the meeting."

"What's up?" He asks.

"What?" I ask.

"Huh?" 

For a moment, Adam looks as confused as I feel right now. But then he seems to understand something.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you aren't used to human dialect. What I meant is what is the problem." 

"Yeah you might have to teach me about that but Romelle, Krolia, Allura and I don't really have a place to stay for the night."

"You wouldn't mind staying in the black Lion until tomorrow, right?"

"Oh not at all."

"Great. Go to the back of the Garrison where the jets and ships are stationed. The black lion is there. You will all fit, right?" 

"I'm sure of it."

"K. Sleep well. I'll see you tomorrow." He says with a wave.   
Then he turns back down the hall and I go back to the group.

Human customs are weird. 

"We can stay in the black lion for tonight."

"But doesn't the lion only respond to paladins?" Romelle asks.

"I hope it doesn't." Krolia remarks flatly.

She really is Keith's mom.

Going back the lion, I almost expected it to be the largest ship there. But I was completely wrong.

Under a tarp there is something huge! I don't know what it is but I have a feeling that it's the classified secret weapon Adam was going on  and on about in the meeting. A good chunk of the meeting was discussing what to do with it, we only had half a Varga to discuss the battle plan. But I can't blame Adam.

Because he designed it.

The lion opens up to us immediately and it's soft glowing light illuminate the interior.

Allura, Romelle and Krolia are half asleep by the time we get there.

Luckily there is some sort of sleeping arrangement already made from when we had to live in the lions after the castle was sacrificed.

My hands trace my coat pocket where I keep the diamond left behind from the castle. It's the only thing I have left of him.

I sigh as I step through the discarded objects littering the floor.

I thought Shiro was neater then this but I remember Keith stayed here as well. 

The four of us don't have to do much. The lion has already shifted things around my will and has made four separate sleeping quarters.

We all say goodnight and head to our temporary spaces. Mine is in the cockpit.

The walls of the cockpit have shifted over and in the middle of the room is a small bed with soft purple sheets.

I collapse on the bed with a flop.

I'm exhausted from everything.

How did I end up here? How did I end up being part of voltron? How did I end up surviving the ruin of Altea? How did I? 

My body relaxes as I pull the sheets over my head, not even bothering to take off my clothes.

In the midst of my thinking, I wander into sleep somehow. 

But something is wrong.  
It doesn't feel like sleep at all. It feels almost as if I left my body. 

I know I'm getting older but I thought I had a good quarter decapheep in me.

But I forget all of that when I wake up in a field on the soft ground.

I look around me to see endless rolling hills covered with juniberry flowers, making the air thick with its sweet scent.

I stand up and immediately I feel different. Lighter somehow, less physically burdened. 

I hear the flowers in the field rustle in the breeze from behind me like the gentle footfalls of something approaching me.

I whip around and ride to my feet but with one glance I know I've become weak.

Standing before me in all his glory, is King Alfor.

My heart surges with so many emotions. Many of which I can't name. My hands shake and I clench them tightly to steady them.

King Alfor in his battle armor and gleaming crown is before me. His warmth is evident in the air.

I stare in awe for a few moments before I remember my manners. 

"My King," I say as I bow reverently.

"Coran. My old friend." He says with his alluring warm voice.

It nearly moved me to tears, but I choke down the urge to cry and put on a smile. I haven't had a dream of him so real in a long time. I want to break formality and run to him but my feet are planted into the ground and connected to the fields.

"How have you been?" I ask him with my usual jolly mannerisms. 

King Alfor's face softens, but not in a way that expresses happiness or peace. It's his sweet melancholy smile that tells me something is heavy on his heart. 

"I have been well, but I see that isn't the case for you." 

He is observant as ever but I don't let my face show how I feel. 

"I have had better days but I manage. You always told me to keep moving forward when the going gets tough." I say with an airy laugh that he returns. 

Alfor takes a step to me and puts his heavily armored hand on my shoulder. 

He looks at me with urgency.

"Coran, I'd love to talk more with you but I only have so much time. I can't tell you directly but I can only hint to you my request." He says quietly, his thumb rubbing my shoulder comfortingly.

"What do you request, my king?"

"I never told you. I never told anyone. There is another." He urges.

"Another?"

"Yes. There are six of them. You need to find the other."

Another lion? How?!

"How? Where?" 

"Look for the one who glows, who's heart shines like a star. They are the shining one."

"Who would that be?" I ask.

He frowns sadly and shakes his head.

"I can't tell you. You must find the one who shines. Who's heart is made of light. It might not be who you think it is." 

"My king, that is too vague. I know too many people who's hearts are beautiful and pure." 

"Coran, my highest adviser, i have faith in you to find them."

My vision blurs with tears.

King Alfor whips away a tear from my face with gentle grace. 

Cupping my face, he kisses my forehead. A sign of goodbye.

King Alfor's form begins to dissolve into the units of quintessence he has become. But I need him. I need more information. 

Alfor begins to slip through my fingers as I reach out to touch him again. His hand falls through mine as it begins to fade.

"My king!" 

The field begins to dissolve as well, the flowers and acres of grasses dissolving into small glowing units of quintessence. It swirls around King Alfor's fading form. 

"Remember...find the one who shines. Their heart is made of light!" He cries. 

The shining of quintessence is too sting and it blinds me.

But I realize it's the light from within the lion. I'm back in the bed and my face is covered in sweat.

I clap my hand to my forehead where he touched me. 

I jump out of bed and leave the lion where it's early morning and the sun's rays shine.   
I find it blinding me for a moment before my eyes adjust.

"Coran, what are you doing up so early?" 

I turn around, my movements slowed with fatigue and haze.

It's Allura. 

"Coran, you seem troubled."

I put on a smile.

"Oh I'm fine."

She gives me an unsure look.

I sigh and drop my mask.

"Allura, last night I had a vision. It was your father." I say not having the energy to hide the tiredness in my voice.

"My father?! He did he say?!" She exclaims.

I sign again.

"Allura, what do you know about the shining one?"

"The..shining one?"

"A sixth Paladin."


	23. Day One Is Always The Hardest

Shiro's POV

I'm finally home. Where I've always wanted to be.   
With the love of my life at my side again in the place I love the most.  
Things can't seem to get any better.

Did I mention we're going to be training today? I always loved training at the Garrison.

Today, we will be going over some flying drills.   
Adam and his team of engineers have made some adjustments and changes to the Lions.

Something about putting new thrusters on the black lion. I'm not sure. Most of that stuff is classified.

Anyway, I'm sure everyone will be completely fine.

God I've never felt this relaxed in so long!

Part of the reason why i've been loosing to the Galra Empire is my inability to calm down from the fight and focus. For the longest time I forgot what Adam told me years ago.

"Patients yields focus."

Yeah, he was the one who told me that. That motto has never failed me, so I can't fail him. Not now.   
I disappointed him once and I'm not doing it again.

God, now I'm just getting worked up all over again. This is why I need people like Adam in my life. He keeps me at equilibrium. Is mostly level headed demeanor calms my overthinking. I need that more than ever now.   
Things are better with him. Always better.

The Garrison has parked the Lions in the back near the landing pads.

Under a tarp is something huge. Adam has been working on it for years. Ever since we were 19! I know at first impression he seems like a dorky guy with a bad attitude but he hasn't dove into the action at his best.   
And neither have you.

I'm standing in front of the black lion again. This time, the lion is brandishing new thrusters at its sides. The wings have been removed but that's nothing close to what the other lions have.

Next to me, the Green Lion's shield has been altered to be thicker and more durable and with new cannons. The Yellow Lion's claws have been upgraded for more traction and it has a magnetizing shield. The Red Lion was already fixed by Adam so all that is different is the paint job.

As for the Blue Lion, it's still under diagnosis.

All of the lions don't look the same anymore, but you wouldn't recognize my lion.

The reason why it wouldn't fly anymore is the wings have been severely damaged to the point they will never work again. It's sad for me because they looked so cool! The wings have been scrapped to build new ones and the thrusters have been changed again.

I know that Garrison tech is the best on earth but something tells me that getting used to the new upgrades is going to be tough.

"Hey."

I turn around to see Adam again.

"Hey."

He gives me a quick hug before he starts explaining stuff.

"So I'm in charge of explaining the new upgrades to you and how to use them. I know it doesn't look like much at first glance but we nearly had to rewire these machines."

"Rewire?"

"Unfortunately. So I got some good news and some bad news."

"Bad news?" I ask.

"Bad news already? You're so negative. I'm telling you the good news first. There will be no reason at all for your lion to crash from now on. Everything has been tested again and again and proven to work."

"Really? That's fantastic! Ok so what's the bad news?"

"Ok, I know this may or may not be a shock to you and I know you've been struggling with this all your life but don't let this ruin things for you."

"Adam...what's going on?"

"It's your health."

I let out a heavy sign.

Adam places his hand on my shoulder and gives it a light squeeze.

"You sure you want to hear this?"  
He asks me.

I nod.

"Kashi, you are supposed to be 26 but the stress you've taken in from being out in space has weakened your body. So much that we're seeing signs of bone and nervous system stress similar to that of a 45 year old man."

"What?!"

"Kashi, cool it. We just want you to take it easy, keep your blood pressure down and your stress reduced to nothing. With the new upgrades that shouldn't be a problem."

I clench and unclench my fists. I've felt the weakening in my body for a long long time. I can't succumb to the weakness now.

"Kashi, were doing everything to keep you safe and healthy. The lions have been upgraded, we have hundreds of thousands of troops ready to take action anytime. Your team isn't just seven people anymore."

I must still seem upset because Adam kisses my forehead and embraces me.  
I hold back.

"I'm sorry." He says quietly.

"It's not your fault." I say back.

We hear footsteps from the hall and release each other immediately.

I hear Adam mutter something about being closeted under his breath.  
I nudge him to know I agree.

Hunk and Pidge walk up to us.

Wow the engineers went all out. The armor design has changed as well.

"How is the new armor fitting?" Adam asks.

"It's fantastic!" Pidge says.

"The armor fits me really well." Hunk comments.

"That's good to know. Hey, where is Lance and Keith?" Adam asks.

Hunk and Pidge start giggling and snickering to themselves.

"Um......I donno."

Just then we hear another par of footsteps coming our way.   
Keith and lance run into the room out of breath.

"Sorry were late." Lance apologized.

"S'fine. You got the results for your lion?"

Lance nods and hands Adam a paper.

Adam looks it over quickly, skimming the pages, he stops on a line for a few moments and then continues to read.

"Alright. You guys are set for air training. You can head over to your lions and begin when you are all ready."

Lance, Keith, Hunk and Pidge cheer.

"Race ya!" Lance yells as he takes down the halls.

"Oh no you don't!" Keith yells after him.

"Hey wait for me!" Pidge laughs after them.

"Hey slow down!" Hunk yells as he stumbles after the three.

Adam and I watch them as they race to their lions.

"Hey Shiro, ya coming or what?!" Keith yells from down the hall.

"I'll be there in a moment." I yell back to him.

I turn back to Adam for a second.

"Takashi, you'll be okay. I'm not worried this time." Adam says with a small smile.

I get the feeling that it's forced, but I return the smile and turn down the halls.

I ended up being last and the four of them rubbed it in my face, but hey, they're kids. I can't be mad at them.

The lion, as always, roars to life as I enter but something feels kinda off.

The life is there but it seams unnatural...  
But I trust Adam knows what he's doing. It could be that the spirit of the lion isn't used to upgrades.

Back in the purple lighted pilot cabin, the lion takes to the sky with ease. Maybe I have nothing to worry about...

The radio chat gets switched on again but this time, next to the screens where I can see the team are a few new windows.

Now I can talk with Kinkade, James, Veronica, Ina and Nadia as well as Matt, Adam and Admiral Sanda.

Admiral Sanda: "Paladins of Voltron, are you ready to begin your flight drills?"

Hunk, Keith, Lance, Pidge, Shiro, Adam, Matt, Kinkade, James, Veronica, Ina, and Nadia  
(Basically Paladins, Adam, Matt and Garrison Paladin Fleets): "Yes, mam!"

Admiral Sanda: "You must be ready when disaster strikes. Each of you Paladins will be our through an obstacle course designed and perfected by our Top Engineer."

Adam gives a small wave from the screen.

Adam: "Based of your skills, the obstacles will get more and more complex as you try to get through the course. Much like The Fitness Gram Pacer Test."

Matt, Pidge, Lance, Hunk and Veronica struggle not to laugh while I'm completely confused. Ah well, must be another meme I need to educate myself with to stay current.

Adam: "However, that won't be the case for all of you. Senior Officer Shirogane, you will automatically be our at the highest level. You copy?"

Shiro: "Copy that Top Engineer Senior Officer Watten."

(I know the last name may sound bad but stick with it. I'll reveal a middle name and ethnic background for Adam soon.)

Adam: "The rest of you Paladins will start off at level one."

The Paladins nod.

Adam: "Galaxy Garrison Paladin fleets, you know what to do."

They nod as well.

Pushing the throttle forward, the Lions form a v in the sky and the individual Paladin fleets trail close behind.

I've done this so many times before. The first wave of the obstacle course hits us. A wave of drones attack the formation. Specifically me but it's easy to hit every target.

The obstacle course ends up being just as easy from years ago when I was the youngest person to beat it.   
Adam designed and perfected the course when we were 20. He made it to be nearly impossible but somehow I managed to beat the course at 21.

*dripping with sarcasm* What a fantastic five years it has been since!

Anyway, the course training goes on for a few hours.

Pidge: "Hunk on your right!"   
Ina: "Fleet Yellow, dodge right!"  
Hunk: "On it!"

Veronica: "Lance, the barriers are closing in hot. Your orders?"   
Lance: "Increase altitude! Thanks sis."

Keith: "Kinkade, status check."  
Kinkade: "All good. Red Lion status check?"  
Keith: "All clear."

Suddenly flying in the v formation hits turbulence but next to me, the other lions seem fine.

Nadia: "Senior Officer Shirogane, I'm getting visuals on the lion and it isn't looking good. The back right thruster is going out."  
Shiro: "Watten, do you copy that?"  
Adam: "Loud and clear. I'm checking the status reports now."

My heart begins to beat a little faster and my hands begin to sweat.

Adam: "I'm sending a system reboot signal right now in three..two..."

The turbulence evens out.

Shiro:"Adam I thought you told me there was no reason the thrusters would do this."

Adam: "I said fail, not malfunction. The thrusters are reboot able. I'll just have to send in a signal every now and then."

Shiro: "Ok. Do whatever you need to to make sure nothing goes wrong."

Adam: "Taka, I make that my everyday top priority."

Shiro: "Kay, don't fail me now."

Adam: "Oh please Kashi. When have I ever failed you?"

Admiral Sanda: "Shirogane, Watten, now is not the time for your roommate bullshit! Keep your head in the fight!"

Shiro and Adam: "Yes, Mam!"

Even though we swore not to fool off again, I look to the far right screen to Adam. He gives me a smirk.

I facepalm, even though I do it to hide a smile.

The flying drills go smoothly.  
For the most part.

Pidge: "Yo what the fuck?!"  
James: "Katie, language."  
Pidge: "Heh, you sound like Shiro."  
Shiro: "Katie, be professional.  
Pidge: "My apologizes."

Shiro: "I accept that. Paladins, I know you aren't used to this. This is completely new and you are kids and we all need to adjust back into Garrison life but please, have some professionalism. We don't expect much of you right now and we won't for a few more days but hang in there. Also, I thought I taught you better!"

Keith: "Copy that."

Lance: "Got it, space dad."

Hunk: "Lance, did you even hear what he said?"

Pidge: "Yeet!"

Matt: "Oof. That's a mood."

Shiro: "Matt! Enough with the memes!"

Can I say the first day of training was a success...

Kinda?

At the end of the day, the four of us are tired. The flying formations have been memorized and practiced to perfection.

"Alright team, I'm proud of the work we made today, but the conduct I could say differently."

The four of them give eachother side glances.

"You Guys Are Paladins. I expect more from you then what I got today. I know it's exiting to be back but I don't want to have this conversation again. Matt, you are older so expect you to be a role model. Lance you need to follow directions. Pidge, enough with the cursing. I already have to put up with Adam. Keith, we can work on the diving drills again tomorrow. Hunk, good work. And Adam, dear God! We will have a discussion when the kids are gone. Everyone, you are dismissed."

Everyone gets up to leave but I tug Adam back by his collar.

"Not you. We have a thing to discuss."

"Taka, I'm sorry but it slipped out of my mouth!"

"Adam, I don't need the Garrison following up on the time I set the microwave on fire!"

"Come On, it was funny!"

"It was not!"

Adam just laughs at me.

"But that's not the reason I need to talk to you." I say quietly.

Adam immediately becomes concerned.

"Takashi, what's wrong?"

I sigh.

"What you told me earlier...will that effect my lifespan?"

"What? No." Adam said quickly.

"Adam, be honest."

Adam pauses for a few moments.

"Your life expectancy used to be up to you high 30's. Now it's about mid 70's.

"And if I never had an illness to begin with?"

"Roughly your mid 80's."

"And you?"

"Mid to lower 70's. Takashi, Why are you thinking about this?"

"No reason. Just wondering."

"Are you sure? There is something you aren't telling me I just know it."

My fists tighten. I hate how he can see through my like glass. I can't be weak. Not right now.

"It's nothing." I mutter as I walk away leaving Adam in the dim hallway to wonder to what I meant by asking those questions.


	24. Role Models

Adam's POV

"It's nothing." Takashi mutters.

He turns down the hall and walks away leaving me in the dust.

I'd run after him but something tells me not to. He's been through so much. I should let him think.

I watch him walk down the hall until I can't see him anymore.

It bothers me to think that he's pushing me away. When he used to do that, I gave him some space and a day or two later he'd confide to me what was on his mind. It would usually be a secret he would tell me.

I kept so many of his secrets no one knows. I still keep many of them to this day. No one knows, no one suspects, no one guesses what goes on between us.

At least I hope so.

I turn away down the other direction of the hallway.

It's getting late but there is something I need to do.

Getting to the Garrison Instructor's lounge I find Takashi again.

Walking into the room, Takashi tenses.

"Hey Kashi. Can I borrow your car?"

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not leaving the parking lot. I just need to make a personal phone call."

Takashi puts his hand in his pocket and tosses me a pair of keys.

"Don't be too long."

"I won't."

I leave the room with his keys.

It's a set of car keys with a glow in the dark star keychain.

"Such a child." I mutter under my breath.

Leaving the Garrison, I head over to the dorms and go to the parking space where Takashi's 2015 Chevy Black Impala sits in its place.

I really wanted him to get a vintage 1967 model like Dean's but Takashi didn't know what Supernatural was at the time.

I click the key chain and the car doors unlock.  
I slide in and shut the door.

Everything is where I left it.

I know it's Takashi's car but I use it more then he does and I don't drive cars very much anyway.

I put the keys in my pocket and pull out my phone.

I open it up and stare at my lock screen for a moment.

Of course my wallpaper is a selfie of Takashi and I but that was years ago.  
That was when he had jet black hair, his right arm and no scar.

It's not that I miss the way he looks. I just kinda miss the way he was. Takashi has become fragile in ways I thought he never would be.

Last night I had to wake him up from a nightmare.

Things have changed, whether I like it or not.

And I hate it. I don't know what to do. Thats why I'm getting advice from the person I look up to most.

I put in the code to my phone and go into my phone contacts, press a name, and wait.

The phone rings once, twice, three times. Then eventually it picks up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dad." I say trying to sound cheerful, although that's kinda the opposite of how I feel.

"Son, its been awhile. How have you been?"

"Okay."

"Okay? Not great or fantastic like how it used to be?"

I pause for a moment.

"Actually, I change my mind."

"Really?...You're feel alright, right?"

"You could say that. It's more like being overjoyed and completely hurt at the same time."

"That's quite a combo. What's up kiddo?"

"Ok, I have some incredible news. You might not believe me, and that's okay."

"Adam, I always believe you."

I pause for a moment and let the words sink in before continuing.

"Well, what if I told you Takashi came home?"

There is a long pause on the other side.

"Wait, no! Is he?"

"Yeah."

"That's amazing! I told you not to loose hope! I told you! When did he come home? How? I want every detail!"

I laugh at his enthusiasm.

"Ok. Here is where things get wired."

"With you, everything is weird. So spill the tea!"

"It's a really long story so I'm going to try to explain as best I can."

"Alright. Shoot."

"So basically Takashi was supposed to go to Kerberos but on the mission he got captured by aliens as a gladiator prisoner for a year. Somehow, he got back to earth and Kogane found him. That's when the four went missing because they started tracking down a strange radio signal that led them to one of five robotic lions which brought them halfway across the universe to another alien race named Alteans that nearly died out and then Takashi and the missing four were set up to save the universe and went on a long crazy adventure. The sad thing is they did it without me! It would've been so cool to get stuck in the gut of a weblum or visit another reality!" 

"Sounds like you never grew out I rambling on and on about space fantasies from you were a child."

"That will never change....  
But Takashi has."

"Does he not love you anymore?"

"No it's not that."

My hand goes to the chord around my neck. It's faded and has been retied again and again but that isn't the only thing that's around my neck. Close to my heart, I keep my engagement ring from him.

"It's just that well... remember how I would give him some space when he really wanted to tell me something and then he would tell me?"

"Yeah."

"He's being distant. Especially when we have to talk about his health."

"That's always been a touchy subject for the two of you. I don't see what has changed."

"Well he's different. He used to hold back from telling me things. Now it's like he's controlled by his worries. He won't tell me anything. The Galaxy Garrison is currently in the middle of a war. With him at the forefront we can't risk him falling apart."

"Adam, he's only human. Humans were made to become damaged over time. I don't always mean that in a particularly negative way but that's life. You're young once. Then you age and deal with your health."

"But he's dealt with health issues all his life. He knew he had the chronic illness since he was a child. Thanks to dare I even say this, him loosing his arm, he got rid of his illness. He now has an altean tech prosthetic."

"Well, good for him. The point I'm trying to say is that these are things you two and everyone in the world deal with. Because of your genetics you are already at higher risk of cardiovascular disease."

"Yeah but I'm perfectly healthy but I can't say that about Takashi. He is getting better though, And he's pushing me away for reasons regarding his health and I don't know why."

"Well maybe he doesn't want to see your hurt or let you see him hurt. Think of it. If you were really sick and in constant pain would you want him around?"

I think for a while.

"No. I wouldn't."

"And why would that be?"

I sigh.

"Because I wouldn't want to be a burden."

"So maybe that's how he feels. You did tell me he would go through times of complete misery."

"Yeah but that was in the past. This is the present. Sure his body has weakened due to stress but he's much healthier but it's still bothering him. His lifespan has increased, he has a frickn robot arm! Sure his hair is completely white and he has a scar across his face but why should he care about that?"

"Adam, your inability to place yourself in his shoes is bothering me. Think about how he feels. I know you're clouded by emotions and having him back is exciting and strange but think about it. In better health why might he push you away?"

I don't get it. I just don't get it.

"I'm sorry but I have no idea why he would push me away from him."

My voice gets shaky.

"I don't know why he's keeping me away from him. I've spent four years in hell on earth for him to come home and now he's different? It's like I don't know him anymore!"

My voice cracks as I try to choke out my words.

"We're so different now. He has higher priorities. He's always kept me second when I've always kept him first. He knows that! How could he do this to me?!"

"Adam calm down. Your just making yourself upset."

My throat hurts from trying to choke down my crying.

First Takashi pushes me away and now my dad doesn't see my point of view?

"Adam, I know your upset. Loosing the love of your life for four years is absolutely devastating. Watching the people you love change can be worse.   
You can be upset about this. You can cry. But what you can't do it let your emotions take the wheel. You should acknowledge that they are there and set them aside as best you can. I'm sure Takashi is just shaken by everything that has happened. And I wouldn't call it pushing you away. You two just need time to get used to one another again. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you any less than he did four years ago."

I wipe away my tears.

"You're right."

"Actually your right."

"What?"

"You told me this years ago. You even told Takashi and now it's become his motto. "Patients yield focus." That's your thing and it's his as well, so use it now. Be patient with him, so he can be patient with you. Then you two can focus on healing one another and get back on track."

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"I'm better."

"That's good to hear. Everything else is okay?"

"Yes."

"Still breaking records?"

I laugh.

"Yes."

"I still can't believe you broke my record of youngest top engineer."

"Hey, I've broken some of my own."

We laugh a little to ease the stress and forget the pain.

"So when are you two getting married?"

"Yeahhhh, we haven't come out yet."

"No? Come on, I thought you two would walk up to the Garrison lounge with confetti and a sign that says in bold letters 'Were gay and that's okay!'"

"Dad! That was Takashi's idea!"

"No I'm sure that was your idea. So you going to hyphenate?"

"I'm sure that Adam Manar Watten-Shirogane is too long a name."

"No it isn't. I like the hyphen. Besides, if you two argued about who's last name to chose we'd never get to hear the end of it."

"That is accurate."

"Thought so. I have to hang up. Your mom is calling me."

"Alright. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Do me a favor and come out soon. Marry Takashi. You'll finally get the siblings you always wanted."

"Alright. Talk to you soon. Bye."

"Bye."

My phone clicks and the line goes flat.

I stare at my phone for a moment before putting it away.

Thinking about what he said, my hand goes to the chord around my neck again.

I pull the chord out from under my uniform to the gold ring.   
Turning it over in my hands I read the inscription inside.

"Forever and always, you are my one and only... love, Takashi"

I let the message sink in before I get out of the car.

Taking the necklace off from around my neck, I take the ring off the chord and for the first time ever,

I put the ring on my finger.


	25. It's Either All In My Head Or All Or Out Of Control

This is a much longer chapter. Enjoy.

Allura's POV

"Coran, what are you talking about? There is no sixth paladin."

"That's what King Alfor whats you to think. Princess, you need to trust me." Coran begs.

I look at him closely. I he looks tired.

"Coran, this is madness. You are tired and delusional. There is no sixth paladin."

Coran looks taken back and hurt. He takes in a deep breath and continues.

"Allura, why won't you believe me?"

"Because when the five lions were made, there was no leftover material from the comet to make another."

"The sixth lion is nonmaterial. It is made of light."

"Nothing can be made of light but lightitself."

"What is holding you back from believing this? You used to believe everything. Stories, legends, truths. You used to believe in the good in all living things. Why don't you believe them now?"

"Because I'm not a child anymore! You don't need to look over my shoulder for me."

I turn on my heel and walk away.  
As I storm off I swear I could hear Coran whisper  
"I guess not."

For the rest of the day Coran is quiet.

Even helping the engineers he seems quiet. Usually he would be bursting with interesting trivia.   
I'm to blame for this.  
I guess I was too hard on him.

Later that night I approach him.

"Hey Coran,"I say gently.

"Princess. How are you doing." He asks me.

"Okay. How have you been."

"I've had better days." He says solemnly.

There is a little bit of silence between us. I struggle to find the words to say but in the end I don't know what to say. A sixth Paladin? I still don't believe it, but I can't just leave knowing I hurt Coran.

"About the sixth Paladin. I still don't believe in that, but I know that I treated you wrongly in expressing that. I was upset and I shouldn't have been so rude...I'm sorry."

"I accept your apology. What you said before...you're right. You aren't a child anymore. I should know that."

I sigh looking down at my hands.

"But I'll still watch over you." He says quietly.

I look up at him again.   
There is determination in his eyes.

"I promised I would. So I will. For him."

I remember Coran making the promise.  
A tear falls down my check and into my hands.   
I wipe it away as quickly as it came.

"Thank you."

Last night I got no sleep. Even in a private temporary dorm room in a comfortable bed in a warm shelter I can't find peace.

I still feel guilty.

What is wrong with me?

I have no time to dwell on those thoughts because the sun is rising and it's golden rays filter though the window shades.

Even at their first early light I decided I can't stay here.

I have to get ready.

Today I will be part of a training exercise. I don't know what it is but it seems to be standard galra training because Krolia is leading it today.

I get out of bed and slip on the Garrison uniform. I'm determined to get there early and ask about standard galra training. It can't be too different from Altean training. Right?

Going down the nearly empty halls of the Garrison I get lost at so many times it's hard to keep track. I end up going into offices or empty classrooms. I wander the Garrison for at least a Varga or two. By then the halls have become bustling with people.

Shiro was right. You can never be bored at the Garrison.

Looking at the time I realize I'm running late by 15 dobashes than I originally wanted to be. I start walking faster. I turn a corner and run into Adam. Literally.

We numb into eachother and a pile of papers and blueprints fall from his hands and become scattered across the floor.

"Sorry about that." I apologize quickly as I bend down to pick up the papers.   
Next to him I see his service dog Lyla who sits patiently as his side.

Adam bands down next to me to pick up the papers as well.

"It's quite alright. Just pick them up quickly. These are papers for a secret weapon and it's classified."

"A secret weapon? This looks more like a-"

"Don't say anything! Trust me. It is a secret weapon. I've never used it before but it should be powerful enough to wipe out a Galran battle ship."

I pick up scattered papers and rolled up blueprints along the floor. They seem to be sketched of a very intricate contraption.

"Is it the object under the tarp near the landing pads your talking bout?"

"Yes. You haven't seen it yet, right?"

"No not at all." I say gathering the last of papers and handing it to him.

The papers are spilling out of his hands as he tries to pick them up.

Lyla bends down and picks up a rolled up blue print in her mouth and hands it to Adam who drops even more papers.

"Here, let me help." I offer.

Adam hands me a stack of papers and graphs and holds the rest in his left hand so he can hold Lyla's leash in his right hand.

He walks down the hall with Lyla and I follow him at his side.

"Are you going over to the training hall today?" He asks me.

"Yes."

"Ok you better hurry because training starts in fifteen minutes."

"Minutes?"

"Oh right. Um, I mean decapheebs."

"Decapheebs? That's unrealistic."

"No, ticks."

"Ticks!?"

"Dobashes! I mean dobashes." He says exasperated.

"That sounds better."

"Good."

We turn down a hall to a office door with his name on it.

"Alright, I think I got it from here." He says as I hand him the papers and graphs.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Oh, and Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"Which way is the training hall?"

"Go past the astrology deck and main entrance hall. Take a left at the warrior memorial and the hall should be the next door over. I'll be there in a minute."

"You mean dobash."

"Right."

"Wait your coming to the training session?"

"Yeah. I'm the team engineer. I design and make stuff, you guys use it."

"Okay. I'll see you there in a minute."

"You mean dobash." He says with an airy laugh.

I smile to myself as I walk away.

Ever moment I spend here I find myself liking the Garrison more and more. If we win this war, maybe I can find my place here.

I walk down the hall past the astrology and main entrance hall.  
I keep walking until I see a sign that says Warrior Memorial.

I stop for a moment of respect before I continue down the hall to the training deck.

Walking in, I seem to be the first person there for training.

Krolia and Admiral Sanda And in the room talking to one another.

I walk up to them.

"Hi Krolia." I say kindly.

"Hey. We're going to wait for all of the trainees to get here before I explain the exercise. I want everyone on the same page for this to work."

"Got it."

I stand off to the side and wait for the others to come in.

The fleet crew is doing a standard altean training exercise being led by Romelle. Something about disaster training.

Pidge come in next.

"Hey Allura, what do you think were doing for training today?"

"I don't know. Krolia will explain when everyone gets here."

"That might take awhile. It seems that nowadays Lance and Keith like to hang out with one another. A lot." She says stressing the words a lot.

"I know."

Surprisingly, Keith and lance come next followed by hunk and Coran.

"Are we all here?" Krolia asks our group.

"No. We're waiting on Shiro and Adam."

As if on que, Shiro, Adam and Lyla come running into the room out of breath.

Pidge gives them a funny look which Adam returns with glare. Then Shiro smacks Adam on the back and pulls him to the group muttering something to Adam while Adam just smirks back at Shiro.

Adam and Shiro stand in the back with Lyla at their feet.

"Alright listen up team. Today we're doing a standard Galran exercise. Basically it's an ice breaker with a twist. You all will be partnered up with someone where one person will lead you through three rooms while you are blindfolded. Each room will have certain dangers you must avoid. To avoid them you will be guided by your partner. To advance to the next room, you must confess a dark secret. Then an interesting fact about yourself. And lastly, an insecurity and the two of you must come to terms with each one. Once completed, your positions will rotate so everyone has a chance to guide someone the be guided."

I look around the room to see that some people are either nervous or terrified.

"I have set up the partnerships already. Hunk, you'll guide Pidge, the Pidge you'll guide Shiro, then Shiro to to Admiral Sanda, then Admiral Sanda to Keith, then Keith to Lance, then Lance to Allura then Allura to Adam then Adam to Coran then Coran back to Hunk. Understood?"

Everyone nods.

"Follow me."

Krolia leads us all to the training hall where three rooms have already been set up. We will all be seated in a room above the training hall next to a large window that provides a birds eye view down into each of the three rooms.

"Hunk, come here." Krolia says, motioning to a chair and headset.

She puts the headset on him and seats him down closes to the window. 

"Pidge, follow me."

Things get set up.

It occurs to me that we won't be able to hear Lance but we can hear Hunk's every command and response. 

"The exercise will begin in three, two, Now!"

The exercise begins and at first its not interesting. Many of the group members have faded into the back of the room and are engaging in various conversions. 

I walk to the back to where Coran is standing by himself.

"Hey,"

"Hey."

"You alright."

"I'm fine. Just tired." he says with a yawn.

"Did you not sleep well?"

"No. Not really."

"Why is that?" 

Coran pauses for a few seconds.

"You would't understand why."

"Its okay. You can tell me."

"But you said you don't believe in the secret paladin."

"So. I don't see why you can't tell me whats wrong." I say gently, putting my hand on his shoulder. 

By touch alone I can sense the burdens he carries.

"Every night...every time I seem to close my eyes, all I see is him."

"Did he say anything different?"

"No. He keeps telling me to search, and then there is the same blinding light of the quintessence cluster. And it makes my head hurt."

"I'm sorry that keeps happening to you."

"I can't sleep, I can't eat. What's wrong with me?"

"I don't know but I'm sure its curable." I say kindly but Coran begins to plead with me.

"Allura, if you don't help me look for this secret paladin, I will decent into madness. I can almost feel myself fall apart. Please, help me." 

"Fall apart, maybe this secret paladin isn't a good thing."

"No. It is. But i can't do this alone. Allura I may have promised your father that I would protect you and now I promised I would find the secret paladin but that doesn't mean I can do it alone. We are talking about a entity who's heart is nothing but pure love and forgiveness. Someone who would jump in to protect anyone from danger even if it meant their own death. They are lurking in the shadows waiting to come forth. We need to find that person."

I look at Coran.

"Okay. I'll do it."

I'm sorry. I'm doing it for the wrong reasons. 

Just then Krolia comes up to us. 

"Allura, Its your turn. Come with me." 

I get up and follow Krolia to the training hall.

"Wear this."

Krolia hands me a blindfold and helps me put it on. Then she places something around my ears, what I guess is a headset.

"Good luck." She says.

"Thank you." 

Wait in complete darkness, then there is a click and all I can hear is Lance's voice.

"Hey Princess." Lance says with his regular enthusiasm.

"Hi. Ready to begin?"

"You know it. So the first challenge is a riddle you need to solve then put into a computer. You ready?"

"Yes."

"What is in the middle of gravity?"

"What? Gravity has no middle, right?"

"Don't take it too literally. Think about spelling."

"Spelling, middle, G-R-A-V-I-T-Y. V! The middle of gravity is the letter V!"

"That's right. Now walk straight ahead for four steps and type it in."

I do just that and feel a table in front of me.

"Lance, I can't see the keyboard."

"Put your finger on it and I'll tell you where to go."

I gently place my finger on a key.

"Move it to the right...NO to far, wait, There! Don't move it. Now press."

I press it down and I hear a noise that sounds like a machine firing up.

"Okay, to advance you need to tell me a dark secret."

"A..dark, secret?"

"It doesn't need to be dark. Just a secret."

"Um, Okay. Ok so Altea has a book of set rules that can be changed at any time by any member of the royal family."

"Oh what did you do?"

"So I changed one of the rules so that school wasn't a requirement so I ditched school for about a sixteenth of a decapheeb. After that my father found out and had me grounded."

Lance laughs.

"I wish I could do that."

Suddenly I hear the sounds of doors opening.

"Okay, walk to your right into the next room. There I will guide you through a maze."

I walk to my right for a few steps.

"Stop. Now turn right. Now left, Now diagonal to your right. Ok, turn around 270 degrees to your left and walk for bout twenty steps."

"How big is this maze? This exercise seems too easy."

"It does. It was easy when Hunk was guiding me. Now turn to the right exactly 90 degrees. And...You're done."

"Is this really it?"

"That seems to be OH SHIT!"

"What!?" 

"Bitch, run!"

"Where!?"

"RUN!"

I suddenly hear machines whirring around me. I run in a random direction.

"No WAIIT-"

I smash into a wall face first and fall down. My face, particularly my nose and forehead, hurts. I think there might be some bruising.

"Not..there..Get up and don't run in a straight line. Just keep moving."

"WHY?"

"Do you want to get shot or not? RUN and tell me a fact about yourself!"

"Ahhh, um, uhh, Whats my biggest whats something interesting about me again?"

"YOU TELL ME!"

"YOUR EARS GIVE ME ANXIETY!"

"I SAID FACT!"

"OKokok, I have to calm down. Something interesting about me is I know how to play the Altean flute."

"Wow that's cool, Now turn right and dash out of there!"

I turn right and run as fast as I can until I hear doors shutting behind me and the machine shots stop. 

Instead of loud noises, all I hear is nothing.

"Are you okay" 

"I'm fine."

"For this last room, you are allowed to take off your blindfold but you must ignore the projection. Do not engage with the projection whatsoever. If you do, we fail the exercise. Got that?"

"Yes."

"Take off the blindfold."

The world that was once pitch black comes to life again.

Removing my blindfold, all I see is floating units of quintessence around me. They float freely and I must resist the urge to touch them.

The quintessence suddenly pulls together into a cluster. The quintessence cluster begins to shine.

Why is there light? Is this a reveal of the sixth paladin? 

No.

Its,

My father.

The quintessence forms his body, his armor, and his his being. Even fully formed he continues to shine in the dimness of the room.

"Allura, my daughter." he says warmly, and opens his arms as if to expect me to run to him.

I take a step forward.

"Allura don't do it. It isn't real. Stay where you are, and tell me your biggest fear."

"Allura, whats wrong?" My father says, his voice laced with concern.

"Allura, don't do it. Its not real."

Suddenly I'm angry. All I have been is angry and upset. I'm either working, crying, arguing or sleeping. I can't seem to do anything else. I need this moment. I need this happiness. I need this missing piece of who I am.

I reach to my ears to remove the headset.

"ALLURA! NO! WE'LL FAIL THE-"

I'm sorry Lance.

I remove the headset, and let it drop in front of me.

Tears stream down my face as I run to my father. His open arms are warm and welcoming. I run into his arms. I can touch him. I can feel his warmth.

The moment he embraces me, I begin to sob freely, forgetting the people watching me. Studying me.

"Allura, tell me what burdens you."

"Father, I can't do this. I just can't. I can't live without you, I can't fight without you, I cant."

"Allura, you know you aren't alone."

"I know but my strength comes from you. And now that your gone..."

"Sweetheart, do not dwell on the fact that I am gone."

"But,b-but."

"Shhhh. Honey its okay."

"No its not. Everything has been so wrong. I miss you and everything is wrong." I cry, my voice shaking and breaking as I go on.

My knees weaken and I collapse in his arms, but he is there to hold me up. He is there to hold me together when I can't help myself. He is there for the love I need when I can't find it in myself.

I collapse in his arms crying miserably while he holds me. Holds me like when I cried when I was a newborn being brought into this wide world of wonders and sorrow. Holds me like when I fell and scraped my knees as I tripped when I was four. Holds me like when I was scared to start alchemy school when I was six. Held me like when I was scared when mother got sick when I was thirteen. Holds me when we stood in the rain in the cold cold air together when I was fifteen. And held me, when He looked into my crying eyes, as he cried as well when he kissed me goodbye. When he told me he loved me. Always loved me and forever will. When he let go of my hand. When I was put to sleep for tens of thousands of years. When all I saw was black.

A part of me died inside when I woke up and found myself in the arms of someone new. 

Of someone I just rejected and turned away from. Simply because he doesn't fill me like my father can. I wonder if he ever had to do that to someone.

"Allura, what are you most scared of?"

What am I most scared of? Death? Loosing my loved ones? Loneliness? Hatred? Fear? Persecution? 

Living.

"I'm scared of living without you. I always knew one day you'd leave me but I never thought it would be when you did."

"My daughter, what are you talking about? I never left you." he says with a melancholy smile. 

"But the ruin of Altea. Everything was destroyed. You were..you were killed. I'm living a life without you."

"Honey, when we die, we become quintessence. Quintessence is in everything. The lions awakening, that is me saying hello. The air you breathe, that's me breathing with you. When a star dies, that Is me mourning for you. And when the star comes together and is reborn, that is me coming out of slumber to greet you. You see, I never left you. I am with you always."

"But,"

"Allura, somethings happen that we cannot control. Some people believe things that seem absurd. Whether you control those things or believe them, the good in those things always find a way of reaching you. You just need to let them into your heart."

My father stands up and helps me to stand with him. 

"Allura, I must go now."

"What, no!"

"Allura, my one and only daughter. The one I love the most in all the cosmos, I am with you."

The figure of my father gets brighter and brighter. He is slipping from my arms.

"FATHER!" I cry as the light blinds me. It hurts my eyes.

The quintessence cluster disperses except for one small unit. It burns the brightest of them all and it gently floats to me. I reach my hand out to it and I hold it to my chest tightly.

Another surge of tears comes forth and I fall to my knees once more as I hold on to that small unit of quintessence. 

Over my weeping I can hear some doors slide open. Behind me is Krolia..

Krolia kneels at my side and puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I failed the exercise."

"Who said you had to surrender yourself to the projection to fail? You passed."

"What?"

"The projection at the end was set up for you to be unable to resist contact. It was made to reassure you, strengthen you. And it worked. But don't tell the others that. They need to figure that out for themselves."

I open my palm to see that the unit of quintessence is gone. 

Because I absorbed it. And for it I do feel stronger.

The doors open again and Adam rushes in with Lyla.

"You okay Allura?' Adam asks me ad he kneels at my side.

Lyla licks the tears from my face.

"I am now. Lets get back to the exercise."

Adam puts in the blindfold and headset and the two of us get to work.

For the first room, I had to give Adam a very difficult riddle to solve. I would've never guessed it but he answered correctly on the first try.

The secret he told me was the one time Shiro asked him to get him a double shot espresso from Starbucks but instead Adam brought him a decaf because he thought it would be funny. Shiro ended up being really upset with Adam. But in the end they forgave each other.

For that they must be really good friends. In fact, they are almost like brothers.

The maze was very easy for us to get through, probably because Lyla led him through it as well. Surprisingly, he trusted everything I told him without hesitation. Fortunately for him, there was nothing attacking him. 

An interesting fact he told me was that he is ambidextrous. He found that out when he broke his right wrist and was put in a cast and was able to naturally write with his left hand

Lastly, we get to the projection. 

In front of Adam is projection of a boy who looks much like Adam accept his skin and hair is slightly lighter. The boy is wearing a torn and tattered Garrison uniform. Where the rips in the uniform show his skin, there are scarlet puncture wound scars and burn marks. Especially on his neck and face.

From my headset I can hear their conversation. 

"Adam, its Jacob. Remember me?" Jacob pleads.

"I'm your little brother. Remember?"

Adam doesn't respond. Adam stares straight as if Jacob wasn't there.

"Allura, what is the last task?"

"You must confess your deepest insecurity."

"Brother, I'm here. You can tell me anything." Jacob pleads. 

"My biggest insecu-"

"Brother! Its me! Why don't you see me?"

Jacob limps over to Adam, but Adam turns away with Lyla following.

Jacob begins to cry and reaches for Adam's hand.

"Brother, I need you."

Adam looks to Jacob with tears in his eyes.

This must be the sibling Adam lost in an aircraft crash.

"Allura, my biggest inse-"

"ADAM!" 

Adam pulls his hand away from Jacob with obvious pain.

"I'm scared of-"

"ADAM PLEASE! YOUR MY BROTHER!"

"YOU'RE NOT REAL!" Adam cries. 

Lyla whimpers and backs away from Adam with her tail tucked behind her. 

Jacob looks stunned.

"Go away! I can't stand to look at you!" Adam spits venomously and storms away tugging on Lyla's leash, but she resists. 

Adam begins to struggle with Lyla. Eventually, Lyla tugs hard enough and the leash falls from Adam's grasp. Lyla backs away and stands next to Jacob.

Taking Lyla's leash in his hand, Jacob pets her to calm her, then he turns to Adam once more.

"Adam, what did I do to you." he says softly, his small voice breaking vulnerably.

Adam turns around. It only takes a second for him to rush back to Jacob and embrace him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it." he sobs.

"I'm sorry. I do care about you. I'm here for you, Jacob."

"Brother, why are you so upset."

"I'm terrified I'll forget you. I don't want to forget you. You mean everything to me."

"You won't forget about me. I just know it."

Adam and Jacob embrace for a long time as they quietly talk.

"Things haven't been the same since you left, but I think about you every day."

"That's a comforting thought."

It is a comforting thought.

Eventually, its time for them to part ways.

"Will I ever see you again, brother?"

Adam gives him a sad smile.

"Yeah. You will."

"Until then, keep remembering me."

Adam holds Jacob as he fades into quintessence.

Similarly to my experience, a single bright unit of quintessence floats to each Adam and Lyla. 

Each of them accept it. And they become stronger. 

"I failed the test, didn't I." he says sadly.

"No. Who ever said you had to resist the projection to pass? It was set up to make you stronger. You feel stronger, right?" 

Adam pauses for a long time.

"I'm not sure."

"Think about it."

After that, Adam sets up for guiding Coran through thr three rooms. After that, Adam and Takashi leave, but I decide to wait for Coran.

I wait around until most of the team leave. 

After that, Coran and I walk through the Garrison together but we split of to go back to our temporary rooms. 

Its become late at night and the moon has come out.

I leave the Garrison main building. 

In the night sky, clusters of stars shine brightly. The star positioned ahead of me seems to outshine them all. And I smile to myself, remembering what my father said.

The star shines bright. Unusually bright. 

"The sixth paladin?" I mutter to myself.

Whatever is shining brightly, it isn't a star. Its to dim and consolidated to be a quintessence cluster. 

Then I notice the purple hue.

Whipping around to face the landing pads I see the Black lion. Stationary to where shiro last left it.

I whip back to the bright purple object. It becomes brighter by every passing moment. And bigger...and bigger...and darker.

I run back to the Garrison. I burst through the doors screaming.

 

The Galra have come.


	26. A Soldier I Am, A Soldier I Must Be

Shiro's POV

We left the training hall quietly.

Along the way back to the dorms, Adam held my hand in his securely. I leaned into his familiar touch and he welcomed me without hesitation.

Both of us had been shaken by the projections of who we saw. My stomach was still twisted and I needed a way to release myself of the anxiety and uncertainty. He was still burdened with the memory of his loss. He needed something real to cling to. More so me then him.

In the darkness of the night we quietly make our way back to the dorms.

Shutting the door behind us, we don't bother to turn on the lights.

We get ready for bed in the quiet dark, but I can't help feeling like I'm missing something.

Finally tired from the day, I sit on our bed and wait for Adam to be finished in the bathroom.

The bathroom light shuts off and Adam makes his way to his side of the bed, but he seems concerned.

He walks over to my side and sits down next to me, taking my hand in his.

I lean against his shoulder.

"Takashi, are you alright?" he asks gently.

I let my barriers come down.

"Adam, I need you." I murmur softly.

"Takashi, I'm right here."

"No I need you. Please Adam."

"Of course, Kashi."

Adam cups my face gently and kisses me slowly and passionately. The way how our foreplay always starts out.

"I love you." Adam murmurs against my lips.

"I love you too."

What was slow and passionate kissing becomes a little more heated. Now with Adam's tongue in my mouth, how can I resist him?

Adam's soft sounds of pleasure stimulate my arousal.

I feel his arms around me, embracing me into a warm haven where nothing can hurt me. I find myself clinging back to him. I'm close enough to hear his heartbeat. I'm close enough to know he's alive. I'm close enough to feel his body flush against mine.

"Adam," I sigh into the warm skin of his neck.

He kisses my neck. Slowly at first but his desperation becomes too much and I can feel his hands all over me. Caressing my shoulders, my back, my chest, my neck with heated desire for my skin.

I welcome the feeling of him around me. 

Adam pushes me farther up on the bed and climbs on top of me and pulls the covers over us.

We have craved this contact for years. And now that we have it back,

Tonight is ours for the taking.

So take me, Adam. Take me in your touch.

Suddenly, the blaring of sirens interrupts us. It's shrill wailing alarm of terror ruins the moment and turns it into blind panic. My scene of security is gone.

Adam's first reaction is to protect me and his arms encircle me in security. I let that ground me.

"It's okay, I got you, Takashi. I'm not leaving you."

I cling back to Adam. Why are the sirens going off now? My heart won't stop racing.

"Wait, Adam! The sirens, the Galra!"

"SHIT!"

"GET UP WE NEED TO GET TO THE GARRISON!" I shout, shifting out from under him.

"The Galra seriously have to be such cock blocks?"

"ADAM! PUT ON YOUR UNIFORM WE HAVE TO GO!"

In the darkness, I toss the sheets away and rummage through drawers to find something decent to wear because all my armor is kept at The Garrison. Adam hastily puts on his Garrison Uniform.

Finally pulling ourselves together, we take of in a sprint to the Garrison.

I kick open our front door and dash down the staircase with Adam close behind me.

In the cold night air I can sense something is wrong because

I can see my shadow in the darkness.

"Takashi! Look!"

I turn around to see a bright purple light. It's intensity is not like any other star. It outshines the moon. Its bright enough to give everything around us a slightly purple color.

This is not natural and this is not good.

Grabbing Adam's hand in mine, I sprint off to the Garrison.

I don't think I've ever had to run so fast.

I pull Adam with me as we tear past the doorways into the Garrison where people are running to their stations either in an orderly fashion or in hysterical panic.

The Galra are early. We were supposed to have one more day of preparation. We aren't completely ready.

"Adam, I need to go put my armor on. I'm going to leave you here but get to your station."

"Wait!"

Adam pulls me into a corner, and kisses me deeply.

I kiss back but only for a few seconds.

"Stay safe."

"I promise."

Adam and I run in two different directions and I head over to the armory where the others are already suiting up.

"You're late!" Admiral Sanda shouts at me.

"My sincere apologies." I say with a salute.

"Apologies accepted now get into your paladin armor and head over to the Lions!"

"Yes, Mam!" we all salute and I grab my armor and start putting it on as quickly as I can.

"Shiro, your putting the chest plate on backwards." Keith says.

"What? Screw it! We have no time to loose!"

My heart is going faster and my stomach won't settle down. My hands are shaking.

Keith takes my wrists in his hands and holds them steadily.

"Calm down, Shiro. The Galra aren't getting here for a few hours, don't stress too much." Lance says.

"How can I not stress right now?!"

"Shiro, whats wrong? Why all the sudden are you so afraid? We've battled these guys so many times before. What is so different now?" Hunk asks.

I take a moment to catch my breath.

"Everything. Everything is different. Keith, I am putting my friends at risk of dying. I'm putting thousands of people at risk of dying."

Pidge speaks up.

"Not at risk. We are fighting together."

"But I've never been given so may responsibilities, lives to watch over! The fate of Earth rests in my hands. I just can't seem to handle this."

Suddenly, everyone looks at me differently. They are all in shock. Especially Keith.

"I never knew that's how you felt." he says quietly.

I sigh.

"I know and I'm sorry. I should be better than this. I'm supposed to be a soldier."

Keith pulls me into a hug in which everyone pulls into as well.

"But you're only human."

I hug them all back.

Things have really changed for us since we left Earth in the Blue Lion.

Keith helps me put in the chest plate while Hunk and Pidge adjust my boots and Lance fixes my helmet.

I couldn't have asked for a better team.

After I am suited up we grab our bayards and take to the landing pads.

Just as we run out to the landing pads there is a purple ray that shoots down from the sky and hits the rows of waiting jets.

 

Upon contact there is an explosion. With a burst of purple light, I am blown back and I hit the wall behind me.

In front of me, many ships have been obliterated or have been set aflame.  
Around the damaged jets people are screaming and dragging unconscious and injured Garrison pilots from the wreckage.

I see a man being dragged out and his flesh has been burned severely and I try not to gag.

"Don't just stand there! Get in your lions and fight!" Someone screams at me.

I get back to my feet and run to the black lion just as another ray hits but at another part of the Garrison.

It's near the cadet dorms!

I rush into my lion and instantly the lion takes off before I can get to the pilot cabin.

Struggling inside the lion the radio is switched on.

Admiral Sanda: "This is Sanda to Shirogane. Shirogane, do you copy?"

Shiro: "I copy, Admiral Sanda."

Admiral Sanda: "Shirogane, are you in your lion?"

Shiro: "Yes."

Admiral Sanda: "Good. I need you to protect the cadet dorms until the cadets are evacuated."

Shiro: "Copy that."

I run through the doors opening to the pilot cabin and I throw myself into the seat and begin to pilot the lion.

I bring the throttle down harshly and I make a barrier between the incoming rays and the cadet dorms.   
I circle around the dorms.

Soon, another ray shoots from the sky and I fly in to shoot it down with a blue ray of my own.

The moment of contact, there is a sonic boom and it throws the lion back.

Inside the cabin I am almost thrown out of my seat.

I cling to the throttles to steady myself and my lion.

I wish I never heard the screams from below.

I turn the lion to face the ground below me where crying children are being evacuated. Many of them who were sleeping soundly are now shocked and terrified.

My heart twists in pain.

Suddenly another ray comes down and I rush into protect the kids.

With another cannon fire, there is another sonic boom that sends me flying back.

I can't keep doing this.

I charge up the lion and send an energy ray out in the direction of the incoming purple rays.

The purple furring stops short and I glide the lion down and open up a projection to the cadets.

"It's okay, everyone it's okay. Evacuate quickly. I'll protect you all."

From below I can see the tear-streaked faces of the young cadets.

"We are doing everything to get you all to safety. Please, trust us. Nothing bad will happen to any of you."

I say that because I wish someone was telling me that.

The kids begin to compose themselves.

"Thank you Senior Officer Shirogane. Be brave out there!"One of the kids said.

I smiled as I turn off the projection and go back to fighting.

The spirit of kids these days. It's amazing!

The kids evacuate out of the dorms and load into aircrafts where they can be brought to safety.

While overseeing the kids, another purple ray fires down and it hits me.

My body is shot the familiar sense of electricity and I let out a scream.

Adam: "Takashi! Are you okay?"

Shiro: "Adam, I'm fine!"

My lion is spinning out of control again. I steady myself just before I hit the Garrison.

I'm panicking, I don't know what to do. I could've destroyed the Garrison.

Another purple ray shoots from the sky and I have to send out another energy ray of my own.   
Another sonic boom, more terrified kids.

Adam: "No, you are not okay. Nadia and her crew are coming in to help you."

Shiro: "No! Send them back!"

Adam: "Its too late, they are already on their way."

Shiro: "Adam, you idiot!"

Another purple ray comes my way and shocks me again.  
This time I struggle to stifle my scream of pain as each nerve in my body is shot.

The signal switches to the lion's screen where I can view everyone and they can view me.

Nadia: "Senior Officer Shirogane, were on our way to help you."

Shiro: "No, fall back!"

In front of me is a wave of Galran ships.

Nadia: "I'm sorry Shirogane, but that is not an option of ours."

Shiro: "Fine, but stay out of harms way."

Nadia: "Sir, do you find us inadequate?"

A Galran ship shoots another purple ray and I have to shoot it down.

Shiro: "No. It's just I don't want to loose anyone. If you need to fight, then fight, but be cautious."

Nadia: "Copy that."

The row of Galran ships are approaching fast. I have to take them all out at once.

Shifting the throttle back, I push a button at the top of the dashboard and force the throttle forward again, activating a sonic roar that throws the Galran ships off course and causes them to crash into each other.

The dark purple streaked night is ignited by the fire of the explosions and ash rains down in dark clumps.

Admiral Sanda: "Good work, Shrirogane. The cadets have all been evacuated. They thank you for keeping them safe."

Shiro: "Are you sure they are all evacuated?"

Admiral Sanda: "We made a head count and all one thousand students have been safely evacuated. We will have our other skilled pilots monitor their flight to safety. All you need to do now is defend the Garrison."

Shiro: "Any specific orders?"

Adam: "Excuse me Admiral Sanda but I have a task for Takashi."

Admiral Sanda: "I'll allow it."

Adam: "Thank you. Takashi, many waves of Galran ships have been sent out. Can you fly out into the Thermosphere and use another sonic roar to destroy them."

Shiro: "Yes I can."

Adam: "Do you want the black paladin fleet with you?"

Shiro: "No."

Adam: "Okay then. Stay safe."

Shiro: "Will do."

I push the throttle forward again and shifting gear into 70% high speed, my lion flies out of the Troposphere with a burst of speed.

I fly out for a few seconds until I hit the Thermosphere.

I begin to slow down under the lights of the aurora borealis. The green, purple and blue lights sway gently, but where are the Galran ships?

My lion is hit again and I'm thrown off balance.

Purple rays are being shot all around me.

Recoiling, I push the throttles back, push the sonic roar button and once more thrust the throttles forward.

The sonic roar hits the rows of Galran ships but unlike last time, the ships put up shields and are unphased by the sonic roar. In fact, the roar bounces off the shields and is headed my way.

I absorb the wave and instantly the screaming of sound screeches in my ears and I hit turbulence. The lion begins to shake violently and the gentle swaying of the aura borealis flickers like a dying flame and dims.

Everything becomes darker around me. I'm loosing sight of the ship waves.

Blindly, I send out a light signal.

It travels out a few miles before bouncing off a shield.

In the same direction I send out an energy ray.

It fires out into the distance before hitting the wave of ships and causing a chain reaction of explosions.

One by one they crash into each other and ignite the darkness but only for a moment.

Slowly, the aura borealis becomes weaker and weaker until it dies all together.

Now that it is gone, I look for the stars to guide me home, but even they have seemed to go out.

The ash from the explosions has caught me up in a cloud of darkness. I fly out in a random direction until the cloud is behind me.

From miles and miles above the earth I can see the destruction.

I see more waves of Galra ships and I send another sonic roar.

More explosions, more light, then more darkness.

Far below me, I can see a ship headed to the Blue Lion.

Shiro: "Shirogane to Lance, do you read me?"

Lance: "Loud and clear."

Shiro: "Behind you is a fleet of ships. I can't use a sonic roar without hitting the Garrison. Can you stop them yourself?"

Lance: "On it."

Within a few moments, the Blue Lion fires the ice cannon. Upon contact with the Galran ships, the ice crystallizes and binds the ships together, growing bigger and pulling in more ships as it grows.

Lance: "Shiro, I'm sending the ice mound of ships to you. Destroy them."

Shiro: "Copy that."

I only have so much energy to use for energy ray blasts, so I equip the lion's jaw blade and with gathering speed, I fly around the ships and the blade slices through each small ships like a hot knife through butter.

Again, more explosion light and more ash.

This can't be good for the atmosphere. We already went through so much hell trying to stop global warming.

The ash rains down to the earth and dims the light, so I switch on my head lights and fly back down to the Garrison.

Hunk: "Shiro, there is too much ash down here. I can't see a thing. Can you get rid of it?"

Shiro: "I don't think so. The only thing I can think of to get rid of it would be to use the sonic roar again but it could hit the Garrison."

Hunk: "Okay. I think we can get some of the jets to make an air current to carry the ash away. Can you lead them?"

Shiro: "Yes. I turned on the vision lights on my lion. Can you spot me?"

Hunk: "Just nearly. Fly around the Garrison a few times. See if that will work. The Garrison is sending in fleet 5-6b."

I fly the lion down to the ground again and from the landing pads ships take off to follow me.

Shiro: "This is Shirogane to fleet crew 5- 6b. Come in."

Unknown Pilot: "I read you. We are following your lead."

Shiro: "Copy that."

I shift the lion back into cruising speed which would be about the jets highest speed and I circle around the Garrison.

With each rebound the ash clears away and the air around the fight becomes less clogged.

Admiral Sanda: "Shirogane, I'm handing over the orders to you. What should we do to stop the Galra?"

Shiro: "How far away is the main ship?"

Adam: "That's our of our radar. All we know is that there is wave upon wave of ships being sent our way. What are your orders?"

Shiro: "Paladins and personal fleets, get into flight position number one. On my signal."

I glide out higher into the sky and one by one I can see each of the lions flying out from the Garrison.

I circle around the Garrison miles above the ground.

Keeping a lookout for the rest of the lions, something hits me again, but this is different.

I'm thrown off course but the vision my lion provides me becomes blurry and discolored.

Shiro: "Paladins and personal fleets, I'm calling off the command. I have been hit with an unknown weapon. Nadia, What's your visual?"

Nadia: "Nothing our of the ordinary. What's wrong?"

Shiro: "My vision has been affected. Everything is blurry."

Keith: "Shiro, dodge right!"

I swerve the lion right and in front of me the screen light up purple and faded immediately.

Shiro: "Keith, I'm going to need you to be my guide."

Keith: "On your left!"

I make a barrel roll dive left.

Shiro: "Nadia, are you sure there is nothing visually wrong?"

Nadia: "I confirm that statement."

I groan.   
So this is what it's like to be Adam when he looses his glasses.  
This is awful!

Shiro: "Shirogane to Katie, status check on my lion regarding vision."

Pidge: "I'm looking...I think the Galra sent a virus to your lion. Contact Adam for a system reboot."

Shiro: "Adam?"

Adam: "One step ahead of you but if I send in a system reboot, that means the lion will have to shut off for about a minute or so."

Shiro: "Seriously?"

Adam: "Seriously."

I facepalm and switch the signal again.

Shiro: "This is Shirogane to the Black Paladin fleet. I'm going to have to reboot my lion but I will be defenseless for about a minute. Can you guard me until the reboot is complete?"

Nadia: "On it. Let's go team!"

Shiro: "Keith, directions for a decent fifteen miles down avoiding open fire."

Keith: "Turn 87 degrees to your left and 45 degrees downward."

I shift the throttles into specific direction maneuvering.

I fly out until I see blurry lights ahead of me.

Nadia: "We are here. Senior Officer Watten is sending the reboot signal in approximately five seconds."

Suddenly the lights in my lion go dark and everything is almost pitch black.  
The signal turns to static and then dies.

Suddenly I feel isolated and alone and I don't like the feeling.

My hands start to shake again and I can feel myself sweating.

I need to calm down.

I take in deep breaths to relax myself but my mind wanders back to what is happening outside my lion.

Is my crew okay? Did someone get hurt? Where am I?  
What am I going to see when the lion wakes up again?  
What else am I going to do until the battle ends?

Hell we haven't done much more then defend the Garrison.  
We are in awful shape for fighting.   
I had to recall my commands for attack, I'm getting viruses on my lion, when does it all end?  
The one night where I could finally relax and have some time with Adam to get personal, the Galra show up and fuck up everything!  
I am so quitting when this is over.

I let out an exasperated scream of frustration.

When do I get to rest? When do so get to have time to let loose? Why can't things just settle down for me?

Why didn't I listen to Adam all years ago?

The light flicker back on in the lion and the screen in front of me becomes clear again.

The signal crackles and becomes clear once more.

Adam: "Hey, everything back to normal?"

Shiro: "Yeah."

Adam: "These Guys Just won't stop coming, won't they."

Shiro: "I know! We haven't even set up a way to fight back. All we are doing is holding off the waves and even then the Garrison isn't safe."

Adam: "We can't admit defeat."

Shiro: "I know. It's so fucking upsetting to be thinking that we could be doing something else if it wasn't for these guys."

Adam: "Okay, major role switch. You have to focus in on the fight."

I sign.

Shiro: "I know."

Adam: "You don't seem like you're in a good position to fight right now."

I hesitate.

I'm not supposed to be weak.

I'm not supposed to be on the edge of tears right now.

I gather myself as best I can.

Shiro: "No, I'm okay."

Adam: "I'm not taking that as an answer. Be honest with me. How do you feel?"

Shiro: "I said I feel fine-"

Adam: "Takashi, I hate to be blunt with you right now, but we are on the middle of a fucking war so tell me this. What. Is. Wrong? Are you sick? Are you tired? Are you frustrated, upset? What's eating you up inside?"

Shiro: "I can't explain myself."

Adam: "Then try."

Shiro: "You're getting upset with me again."

Adam: "Obviously. We could send out someone else while you come back to the Garrison and rest for a while. Are you just upset because we couldn't-"

Shiro: "Fine, I'm tired."

Adam: "That's a start. Can you elaborate?"

Shiro: "I'm so tired!"

My throat tightens up.

Shiro: "I can never catch a break! People expect me to be the hero, but I'm not! I'm not good enough, Adam. I'm not."

My breathing becomes shaky.  
I cover my face with my hands because I can already feel tears streaming down my face again.

"I'm not good enough for you."

I can imagine Adam's shocked face.  
I've felt this way for years but I never told him.

Adam finally speaks up again, and his tone is much softer and gentle. Like how it had been an hour before when we were getting lost in eachother.

Adam: "As much as I'd love to talk to you about this right now you need to come in. I'm letting the Garrison know you're taking a break. The black Paladin fleet is going to tether you to their ships and pull you back. Just try to relax."

I can only nod.

I stay slumped over the dashboard with my head in my hands. I don't dare to look up for fear someone will see I've been crying.

I reach my hand out and fumble around for the disconnect signal button.

I find it and push it.

The screen in front of me dims and I will myself not to cry anymore.


	27. Jealousy Is A Self Inflicting Wound

Adam's POV

I'm waiting at my desk in the battle tactics room.

Luckily my desk is at a huge window and so can see the black Paladin fleet pulling in the black lion.

Adam: "This is Watten to Nadia. You pulling in the Black Lion?"

Nadia: "Yeah. By the way, how is Shirogane? Judging form earlier, he seems really out of it today."

Adam: "The training exercise wore him out. He's taking a rest. He'll be back in the fight in no time."

Nadia: "Alright but get him back as soon as you can. We need our leader."

My stomach jolts.

I get up our of my seat.

"Seán and Mark, you two take my place until I get back. K?"

The two cadets exchange eager looks and rush to my desk to fill in my place.

I've been training them for years and I trust them to keep things in order while I'm gone.

I walk out of the battle strategy room and down the hall to the landing pads.

I come just in time to see that the Lion is parked and shut down.

The lion leans down and the mouth opens and Takashi climbs out of the lion with sluggish movements.

I walk over to see him.

The minute he turns to face me I can already see the effects of fatigue and stress on his face.   
The way he holds his posture is very poor and burdened.

As I get closer to him he nearly collapses and I rush to catch him in my arms.

Some people rush to the two of us.

"It's okay. I can handle this myself."

Everyone gives us uneasy looks but they know our long history together and they let us be.

Supporting Takashi, I half walk half carry him into the Garrison to the armory and set him down on the bench and I pull up a chair in front of him.

"Hey."

"Hey." He says, letting out a small laugh but I know it's less than half hearted effort.

"I pretty sure you can guess what I'm going to ask you."

"I know, and the answer is not okay."

Takashi covers his face with his hands.   
That's his way of trying to hide the fact that he is crying.

I lean in and press our foreheads together and I gently take his hands away from my face.

There are tear streaks down his face, there are dark circles under his eyes, his skin is ashen and his expression breaks my heart.

He has given up.

"About what you said earlier...Am I making you tired?"

He flinched suddenly.

"What, no no no! That isn't it! That isn't it at all!" He says wiping way his tears.

"What can I do to make things better?"

He sighs and brings his knees to his chest and rests his head in his hands.

"It's nothing you can do. Really, it's all just me. People keep reassuring me that it's okay to be weak but I don't listen. Just about all my life I'd have people watch over me like I could collapse and die any minute. When I started loosing function of my arms things just got worse."

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Do not apologize for anything. This isn't your fault."

"But I acted like you'd drop dead any second."

"That was different."

"How so?"

"I let myself have flaws in front of you. But even then I started to feel weak."

My stomach jolts again.   
I never expected him to say that. Ever.

"And to everyone else?" I inquire.

"I locked away all signs of my illness. But even in the end that had to be revealed."

"I'm sor-...I never knew that."

"I never told anyone that." Takashi mutters.

God his words are so powerful.

"When I had to help you...how did that feel?"

"Awful."

"And in front of everyone else?"

"It was like my pride was being ripped away from me. I was loosing everything. I thought that in day I'd loose you and not just because I would've died. I thought that one day, you'd decide that you couldn't love me anymore."

Takashi's voice begins to break and crack.   
Never have I seen vulnerability from him.

"I set out to prove myself in every way so could. To the Garrison, to myself and to you. But it never felt enough. Maybe because I felt that if I proved myself to everyone my illness would go away... But of course it can't be healed like that."

"Takashi."

I pull him into an embrace.  
Then he bursts into tears.

"I'm not special. Okay? I'm not. I'm not some super impressive pilot that everyone makes me out to be. I'm not some hero. I'm just a normal guy who was driven by desperation. And in the end that was the thing that ruined everything for me."

"It didn't ruin a thing for you. You broke records here! You made history!"

"But would've never happened if..."

"If what?"

Takashi's expression turns dark.

"You know the Garrison had a choice of letting me in, right? They only let me in because I was already set for death, even as a child! Don't you see?"

Takashi begins raising his voice.   
So do I.

"See what?"

"I only got into the Garrison because I had an illness and everyone took pity on me!"

"That is not true!"

"Everyone just thought that letting a poor and sick migrant kid from Japan into the Garrison would make the school look good!"

"But you flourished here! Take a look down all the halls, all the awards you've earned."

"This isn't about awards anymore. This is about my non existent self worth!"

"Your non existent self worth? Bitch, if you were to get any self worth you made it here! Your self worth is more than anything in this world!"

Takashi stand up so fast the bench falls over.

"To who?" He shouts at the top of his lungs.

I stand up so fast the chair behind me falls over

"Me, you huge idiot!" I scream back as I punch him in the chest and nearly knock him over.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"Bitch, I'm just about ready to go fucking crazy! What will it fucking take to get you to believe in yourself?!"

"I don't know!"

"What is wrong with you?!"

"I'M JEALOUS OF YOU! OKAY?!"

I suck in my breath.

Takashi's voice echoes in the halls of the Garrison. I peer out of the armory to see that people are peering down the hall in our direction.

I whip back to face Takashi who looks like a kid who accidentally let out their first swear word.

His hands are clasped tightly over his mouth and he looks terrified.

I feel like we've been staring at each other for an uncomfortably long time and so look away.

"I'm sorry, did you just say that you're...jealous? Of me?"

Takashi pulls the bench back up and sits down again, the pent up stress and tension finally leaving his body.

"I...Yes. I am jealous." He admits softly.

He hangs his head.

I pull the chair back off the floor and set it upright again.

From the outside of the armory I can hear people whispering about us.

"Why? Why are you jealous of me? I don't...w-what?!"

"You're everything I ever wanted to be." Takashi mutters.

"Is this what this has been all about? Jealousy?"

"I know it's stupid."

"Stupid? The fact that you're jealous isn't stupid. What stupid is that it's me you're jealous of! I'm jealous of you! Now that's not stupid."

Takashi goes ridged.

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

(Gerard Way)

"But you're so smart, talented, funny, popular, loved by everyone, you're in perfect health, fantastic body condition, you don't have to worry about anything."

"But what about you? You make everything you do look easy! Piloting, lifting stuff, fighting. I can't do those things on my own like you can."

"I could beg to differ."

I sigh.

"Let's find come common ground. We are jealous of each other."

"Yup."

"But we've never told one another."

"Apparently So."

"Everything we earned was because we fueled each other to go beyond what we thought we could do."

"You stole the words from my mouth."

I can't believe this. I actually can't believe this.

"Are you still tired?"

"Of being jealous of you, I'm exhausted."

"Are you tired of me?"

"What? Never."

Takashi takes my hands in his.

They are cold, but they are secure in his hold.

Another question bothers me and I want to ask him but the words die in my throat before I can actually speak.

"You're doing the thing I always do."

"God you know me so well."

"Uh, yeah! We've known each other for fifteen years."

"Fifteen for you. Eighteen for me."

"I know what your going to ask me anyway.   
Of course I still love you. You're my everything."

For the billionth time, I pull Takashi in for another bone crushing embrace.

"I love you so much you big idiot!"

"I love you too."

"Adam, the only reason I've held on to living and pushing myself all these years was because of you. As jealous as I can be sometimes, I'm thankful that you're in my life. For me, things would be so different without you. I really owe so much to you."

"I owe so much to you too. I love you. I love every thing about you.You big space nerd. So no hard feelings?"

Takashi laughs.

"That's what she said."

"Takashi! But in all seriousness-"

"Yes. I'm okay."

"I can believe that."

"I better get out there again. I can't imagine what hell everyone was going through without me."

"Oh you won't be alone."

"Huh?"

"I think it's time to fire up the Atlas."


	28. A Dangerous Shift In Power Part 1

Shiro's POV

"Adam, I thought you were scared of flying ships."

"Things are different. I've been scared of flying ships for too long. Its time I take risks again. Besides, you are with me. So I have nothing to be afraid of."

I am surprised at his sudden decision. Adam must've taken in my expression as disbelief. 

"Takashi, If I don't do anything then I will loose the people I care about. I may have lost someone I care about to an air craft but Jacob wouldn't have wanted this. I'm doing this for him."

I nod in agreement.

"Let's go."

Adam and I take back down the halls running.

We dash back to the battle tactics room where everyone of importance is monitoring the fight.

Upon arrival we are stopped by Admiral Sanda.

"Takashi Shirogane, what the fuck were you yelling about?" she yells.

From beside me I swear I can here Adam mutter "Hypocrite." under his breath.

"We can focus on that later." I say quickly.

"No. I need an explanation!"

Before I can respond, Adam gets in between us.

"I don't mean to interrupt your lecturing, but we have a war going on and we have the secret weapon we want to engage in the fight."

"The Atlas? It hasn't been approved yet."

"Does that matter? We're probably loosing the fight and we have our best pilots out there being beaten into oblivion! We need the Atlas out there."

"The Atlas can wait. It has not been approved."

"You realize that I can just say it's approved and it will be approved because I dreamed it, designed it as built it?"

"You haven't tested out the new defense and attack systems."

"Fine. Why don't we use it to intimidate the enemy?"

"This is the fucking Galra, Adam."

Adam is about to argue back, but suddenly he stops.

"Kashi, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Let's go!"

I grab Adam's hand and pull him with me out of the room as we sprint down the halls again leaving Admiral Sanda in the dust.

"Wait!" she shouts from behind us, but her voice grows farther and father away with each step we take.

"I can't believe we are breaking protocol!" Adam shouts through the halls.

"In all my time is misbehaving with you I never thought we'd have to do this!" I shout back, not caring is anyone heard us.

As we run, the alarm starts blasting again and the lights of the Garrison fade to blood red.

The intercom clicks on but we keep running.

"WATTEN, SHIROGANE, YOU TWO ARE BREAKING PROTOCOL!!" Admiral Sanda shouts over the intercom.

"Hell Yeah!" Adam shouts.

Adam and I stop short just in front of the hallway leading to the far right of the landing pads where the Atlas is being kept.

"However, I'll allow you two to run the Atlas on one condition only! You aren't alone in piloting the Atlas. Take Coran and Allura with you two!"

Down the hall, Allura and Coran join us as we take to the heavy battle ship section of the landing pads.

We get to the tarp covering the Atlas.

"How are we supposed to get the Atlas up in the air if it is held down like that?" Coran asks.

"Like this." Adam says as he goes over to a panel, puts in a code and scans his hand print. The control panel asks for a command.

"Initiate free the Atlas."

"Freeing the Atlas."

Instantly the tarp falls away and the tough fabric falls to the air kicking up dust and dirt.

The ship is amazing! Its nearly fifteen times the size of Voltron!

"Fire up the Atlas." Adam commands.

Suddenly, the ground trembles slightly, and there is the loud sound of an engine roaring to life.

The lights of the Atlas ignite and the thrustsers begin preparing for liftoff.

"Alright guys. Lets fight this fucking war!" Adam shouts.

"YEAH!"

Sliding doors leading to the cabin of the Atlas. The inside is illuminated brilliantly. Every edge, every curve was designed and made by Adam and his team.

I fall in love with him more and more everyday.

The four of us get to the Atlas through long corridors leading to the front of the ship. Going through another set of doors we are opened to the pilot cabin and it is huge! This ship was meant to be flown by five people but there is only four of us.

"Allura, can you handle the system monitor position?" Adam asks.

"Yes." She says.

"Alright. When we get to the cockpit there will be a specific desk you need to go to. It's ok the far right. Coran, can you handle the navigation?"

"Yes."

"Go to the control panel and radar screen on the left. Takashi, this whole ship needs two people to pilot. I just need you to help me get this into the air. After that, you need to call your lion and leave the Atlas."

"Of course. But who will take the three positions of handling the weaponry and piloting the lion when I'm gone?"

"That will be me. I made this thing so I can handle three positions at once. Don't worry, just help me get this in the air."

With that, we go to our stations.

Allura and Coran run down a short staircase to the lower level of the pilot room while Adam and I are on the upper level in front of a wide control panel and screen.

By touch, the screen ignites and burns orange as the Atlas begins to fire up. The engine burns and roars automatically.

"Coran, Allura, are you ready?"

"Yes!" They both shout over the roaring engine.

Adam turns to me.

"You can handle this?" He asks me.

"I'm not alone this time." I assure him.

Adam gives me a nod and turns back to the control panel.

"Coran, Allura, on my signal."

Coran and Allura get ready for liftoff.

"Initiating liftoff in three, two...

NOW!"

The engine burst even more and the air around us becomes lighter and elevated as the Atlas lifts off, rising higher and higher into the sky.

The screen view of the Atlas shows the world becoming smaller and smaller as we lift higher and higher into the night sky."

"I'm turning on the signals to the other lions." Coran reports.

"Put in visual and audio on all times. We need to stay in contact with them as much as possible. They weren't trained to fight with the Atlas so do your best to improvise."

"Got it. Any other orders?"

Adam is taken back for a second.

"Orders? What do you mean?"

Adam has never been in charge of anything more than his engineer team. Flying airships (which he rarely did anyway) he was always copilot is or way in the background. He never called he shots. But now he has the chance to be the leader.

"This is your ship. You're our captain. What's our orders?" I ask him.

Adam gives me a surprised look. Then realization sets in.

"Fly out, make sure the lions can see the Atlas, and tell them that we're joining the fight."

"How do you expect the Atlas to fight?" I ask.

"You know fighting position one? How about the Atlas takes the lead shooting out the ship waves so the lions can get closer and do some damage to the mother ship. When it is immobilized and defenseless, the Atlas will load and fire and destroy the ship and we win the war."

"That sounds good to me." I say.

"Adam, the radar shows the lions. They are being held down. We're loosing the fight!"

"Takashi, that's your que. I know I promised to keep you out of danger and I'm completely breaking that but can you call the lion?"

"Of course I can."

"Ok, go back through the corridors we came from. The doors will open. Can you run out and free fall to your lion?"

"Yes. Adam, don't worry."

Adam gives me a small look of worry.

"Okay then, get out there."

I give Adam a quick kiss on the cheek and I run back through the corridors.

The doors open slowly and the wind from the air whips around the room and nearly knocks me off my feet.

Right outside is the familiar trail of purple light from the lion, the glowing eyes piercing the darkness like a knife.

Can I trust you? Will you catch me? Will you save me if I fall?

Somewhere in my mind I swear I can hear a voice tell me

"Want to try?"

My heart starts beating faster and faster. I close my eyes.  
I take a running leap into the darkness.

For a moment during the free fall my heart stops as the cold wind rushes to greet me.

"I trust you..."

My feet slam into something solid and something closes around me, the cold air being replaced with stillness.

Slowly I open my eyes and find myself in the mouth of the lion and I take off to the pilot seat.

The signal cracks to life again.

Adam: "This is Adam to Takashi. Did you make it?"

Shiro: "Yeah. Did you contact the others?"

Adam: "Yes, but they are in danger. Pidge's vine cannon backfired. She and Galran ships are trapped in a vine tangle. Set her free using the jaw blades."

Shiro: "On it!"

I fly down over the Garrison. Keeping my vision to the ground, I see the green lion tangled in a mess of vines. The vines have grown into the joints of the lion and s destroying it from the inside out!

I need to do something quick!   
Diving in a left barrel role down, I initiate the jaw blade once more.

As I fly around, the blade cuts through the vines with ease and sets the lion free.

Pidge: "Thanks Shiro!"

Shiro: "No problem. Keep the signal on. Once I Free the other lions we are going to go into position one lead by the Atlas."

Pidge: "Copy that!"

Adam: "Kashi, go to the red lion. Keith is being chased by Galran ships. Help him."

Shiro: "On it. This is Shirogane to Keith. Come in."

Keith: "Shiro! I'm being chased!"

Shiro: "I got you covered."

I speed up to follow into the dessert to where hordes of ships are chasing Keith. One of the ships shoots the back leg of the lion and the lion trips and comes tumbling down.

Keith: "SHIRO! HELP ME!"

Shiro: "Its okay Keith! I'm right here!"

I fly in and hover between the lion and the Galran ships. Forcing the throttle back for another energy ray to the Galran ships. One by one they begin to crash into eachother.

I don't stay long to see their ruin because I fly to the Red Lion where it is struggling to stand.

The metal of the back leg has been damaged and is sharply bent at an angle to the side.

Shiro: "Hold still Keith. I'm going to weld the metal back together."

Keith: "Weld? What happened?!"

Shiro: "The back leg of the red lion has been damaged. It's okay, I can get this fixed rather quickly.  
This is shirogane to the lions and Paladin fleets. Go out to the desert behind the Garrison. I need assistance making a makeshift repairment to the red lion."

Allura: "Will is not stay undamaged?!"

Adam: "Are you welding the metal back together? Be careful. We want to get the metal fixed as evenly to the other back leg as you can."

Shiro: "I know. Pidge and Hunk, use the vines and lean against the lion to hold the leg steady. Lance, after I weld it, ice it to cool it down. Paladin fleets, keep us protected."

Everyone: "got it!"

Hunk supports the red lion while Pidge uses the vines to bend the leg back in place.

There is the screeching of metal and it hurts my ears.

Then, turning the energy ray on the lowest setting, I send a ray to weld the leg back together. Slowly, the metal begins to burn orange and melt together.

Overhead there is the sound of deathly loud shots and I stop welding to look overhead.

Lasers of incredible speed and strength fly over head coming from the direction of the Atlas.

The Atlas is brandishing a weapon of mass destruction and it is shooting away the Galran fleets far out into the sky.

Adam: "COME GET SOME BITCHES!"

Shiro: "Adam, I love the sentiment but your radio is on."

Adam: "Do you think I care?"

Shiro: "Knowing you I should know better that you meant to shout that."

Adam: "OK forget me and get back to welding the leg together!"

Shiro: "Right."

I get back to welding the leg.

Shiro: "Lance, I'm almost finished. Get your ice ready."

Lance: "Ready."

I weld the last of the metal together.

Shiro: "Now Lance!"

The blue lion shoots out a ray of ice that crystallizes around the back let and the sizzling of metal hisses.  
The leg of the lion cools down instantly.

Shiro: "Let the ice sit for a moment, then Adam and I are going to lead fighting position one into the night with Adam shooting the Atlas weapon fare out into the distance so we can get close to the Galran battle ship. One we get there, we will all damage the Galran ship until it is defenseless. Then, we make the final strike and end the war!"

Everyone: *Shouting!*

Shiro: "Everyone ready?"

Everyone: "Yes, sir!"

Shiro: "Take to the skies. Let's end this once and for all!"

From the Paladins and fleets comes unholy shouting as the lions and ships rise into the sky, lighting the night as they go.

The Lions fly in a perfect V with Hunk, Pidge, Me, Keith and Lance lined from left to right.

Behind each lion is their personal fleets arranged in a small V as well. The personal fleet ships have colored V's imprinted on the wings to distinguish which lion they associate with.

And the Atlas takes to the formation just below us and slightly in the lead.

We all a line, flying as one unit with increasing speed.

Adam: "Once you get the Galran ship defenseless, I want everyone to get behind the Atlas. This weapon will obliterate anything in its wake if close enough. I'll let you know when I'll use the weapon."

Everyone: "Yes, sir!"

We continue to leave the atmosphere and fly out into space where the bright purple like begins to pulse like its alive.

Adam: "Alright guys. I'm making some orders here. Shiro, your lion and fleet is big enough to get rid of the ion cannon on the top of the ship and destroy all other weapons. Keith, you and your team have enough power to weld the doors letting out ship waves shut. Katie, you and your team can wipe out the thrusters on the ship. Hunk, you and your team must destroy their vision of everything. Lance, you and your team make sure the Galra don't go anywhere. Keep them here. Now GO!"

Shiro: This is Shirogane to the Black Lion fleet crew. You guys heard Adam. Follow my lead."

Nadia and the others: "Yes, sir!"

I fly out to the front of the ship just as the ion canon begins to load. With an a sharp turn up to the ion cannon with gathering speed, the jaws of the lion open up and grip the cannon and force it up, bending it. The Black Lion fleet crew follow in my lead by bending the barrel of the cannon as it continues to load. Once bent far enough, we fly out of the way as the cannon fires, but because of the damage, the cannon backfires and destroys itself. Flying around the huge ship, few Galran ships come out to fight back. They are easy to obliterate and my team and I continue to destroy all the attack and defense systems stationed around the battle ship. It only takes so much as a single energy wave to shut down the defense systems. 

All around me, vines begin to overtake and stop the thrusters holding up the battle ship. Slowly the ship sinks out of the sky. At the same time, ice takes over the ship signal panels, rendering contact with other ships useless. Around the underside, sides and top of the ship are burn marks and melted material streaks on the ship. On the front of the ship are deep puncture wounds that expose the inner workings of the ship where they have been severely damaged, 

The attacks become slower and the responses to our attacks diminish until the battle ship becomes immobilized, isolated and defenseless. 

Adam: Alright guys! Fly behind the Atlas. I'm about to wreak this piece of scrap metal!"

The lions and their fleets retreat and take refuge behind the Atlas. 

I hover above the Atlas from a safe distance.

I want to see to that this war is over. I want to see the ship destroyed. I want to see the source of my sufferings completely obliterated. 

Maybe then I can finally rest. 

The cannon of the Atlas loads itself, the end of the barrel glowing bright blue. 

It grows brighter and brighter.

And then it fires.

It hits the Galran ship and my heart skips a few beats.

There is a bright light and the sound of an explosion. 

As the light dims, the Galran ship has been

 

 

 

 

completely unaffected.


	29. A Dangerous Shift In Power Part 2

Shiro's POV

Unaffected. Absolutely unaffected. 

I wonder how everyone is taking this. Especially Adam.

Shiro: "Adam...?"

There is no answer.

In fact, no one answers.

We were supposed to win this.   
Have we lost? Why is everything so quiet? Why is everything so still?

Hunk: "Uhhh, Guys?! Is it me or is the Galran ship still there?"

Adam: "Impossible! It should've been destroyed! I can't believe this!"

This can't be happening. Oh god please don't let this be happening! Why is this happening? Please let this all be a nightmare! Please let me wake up!!!

The Galran ships starts glowing purple again. The burn marks, the ice, the vines, the puncture wounds glow the most.

Hunk: "The ship! ITS REPAIRING ITSELF!"

Pidge: "OH SHIT!"

Keith: "DON'T JUST STAND THRERE! GET BACK IN AND FIGHT!"

I glide back in and start shooting at the repairing ion cannon but with every blow it grows brighter and brighter!

Lance: "WE ARE SO SCREWED!"

Keith: "Guys, if we use the same tactics all over again, the ship is just going to repair itself again and again!"

Allura: "Its drawing in quintessence to fix the damage it's done."

Adam: "And what's worse is that the ship is not just absorbing our power but analyzing it as well. In no time the ship will have a vine cannon, ice, fire, energy ray and strength matching ours and the Atlas."

Shiro: "Adam, what do we do?!"

Adam: "You tell me!"

Shiro: "I don't know what to do! I'm panicking and I'm freaking out! What is this shit?!"

Adam: "Calm down, Kashi. Just stay calm. If they are using quintessence, why don't we take that away from them?"

Coran: "How? We can't do that! You can't destroy quintessence. We hardly know anything about it!"

There is silence on every signal as everyone desperately tries to stop the Galra but everything we fire at it makes it grow stronger. What can we do?

Lance: "The go-no Go tactic."

Keith: "NO! No Lance! I know I promised I wouldn't argue with you but absolutely no!"

Allura: "Keith is right."

Pidge: "We have to conserve power."

Hunk: "And if it goes wrong..."

Coran: "Lance we can't have that as an option."

Shiro: "What will happen if it goes wrong? We all die. If it goes right, we just make the ship stronger. But if-"

Adam: "Everyone just shut up! Let the poor kid speak."

Shiro: "Adam, this is not your call-"

Adam: "Don't give me that bullshit Shiro! Let him talk. Go ahead Lance."

Lance: "Allura, what percent of the lions is quintessence?"

Allura: "Roughly 10 percent."

Lance: "Pidge, how big would the explosion be if we all used the go-no go tactic?"

Hunk: "Lance! No!"

Adam: "Hunk, quiet. He deserves a chance to express himself. We are out of ideas and we need something. Lance, please continue."

Lance: "If all the lions used it?"

Pidge: "The explosions would destroy everything around us in a mile radius all around us."

Lance: "What would be left after the damage?"

Shiro: "Nothing. No energy, no molecules, no ions, no cells, no space. We would be ripping out part of the fabric of space and time. The effects could be catastrophic. No life.

No....quintessence."

Lance: "Adam? You have anything to say?"

Adam: "No I do not. Anyone else have anything to say?"

There is silence on the lines again.

Lance: "I...I think I'm ready to go."

My heart sinks. My best sharpshooter is willing to risk his life for the sake of everything in existence.

Pidge: "I'm ready to go."

But she is so young. She has everything to live for.

Hunk: "I'm ready."

But why? I'm older, I'm of less value. Let me do this alone.

Keith: "Count me in."

My little brother. Please. Choose to live.

"Takashi?" Adam asks me, his voice small and quiet.

I grip the throttles so hard my hands hurt.

"Adam?"

I look to his window on my screen. His expression reminds me of how sad he was when I left for Kerberos.  
I though I was protecting him. I was never able to protect him.

Adam: "If you need to go, then go."   
He says simply.

Being ready to go never meant being ready to take action.

It meant being ready to die. To give your life up.

"Yeah. Let's go."

Adam: "Aura, Coran, you two are too important to even risk being lost. Take a pod back to the Garrison. If we can't destroy the ship, find a way to do it for us."

Shiro: "Wait, Adam!"

Adam: "Your explosion is a mile radius. It's not big enough to wipe out the ship. I can expand the explosion with the Atlas using a shockwave."

Shiro: "Are you risking your life?"

Adam: "No."

Then it's decided.

Allura: "It has been an honor to fight with you all."

I can tell that Alllura is crying.

Coran: "You Guys truly are Paladins. Altea would be so proud."

One by one we thank them.   
Then one by one we say our goodbyes.

The pod leaves the Atlas.

There is only one thing to do now.

I bring the throttles back. The move easily with every motion of my hands.

I reach up to the top of the dashboard where illuminated buttons are available to me.

I press every one of them an. I want him the light up.

I grab my Bayard. The handle fitting in my hands so perfectly.

I put it into the key constole and I twist it left.

The screen goes brighter.

A new button appears on the dashboard and it is red.

Shiro: "Is everyone ready?"

One by one they all say yes. Their voices either cracking, sounding tired or staying as they are. Strong and unaffected.

Adam is unashamed to be crying.

Shiro: "On my signal. Ten"

Coran's painful struggle.

"Nine."

Not Allura's last grief.

"Eight."

Our last good byes.

"Seven."

Keith's only relationship.

"Six."

Lance's last fight.

"Five."

Pidge's last hope.

"Four."

Hunk's last tear.

"Three."

Adam's only love.

"Two."

My last breath.

"One."

Our last I-love-you.

"Fire."

I press the button without hesitation.

Instantly there is light. Blinding light. Seething light. Burning light. Scalding light. Painful light. Everything is light. All I see is light.

That's all I see.

I feel nothing. I don't feel cold, or warm, or anything. I don't feel death taking me.

Do I fear death. Not with my loved one around me. Even if they are dying too, I am not alone.

I am not alone.

I am not alone.

I am not alone.

And then I hear it.

The first piercing shriek of pain.  
The first cry of fear. The first sob of saddens. The first wave of emotion. The first wave of realization. The first. The first...the first...

But it should be me.

It should be me crying in pain. It should be me dying. It should be me leaving my body behind and traveling to great beyond. It should be me seeing my body diminish in the wreckage of cold bloody war.   
It should be me more.

Should be me...should be me.

 

Then why is it Adam?


	30. All Just A Dream

(Warning!!! Descriptions get a little graphic in the beginning)

Adam's POV

There is blinding light everywhere.

I shoot the shock wave out in the direction of the battleship.

But something goes wrong.

Instead of firing out, the shot backfires and the glass in front of me cracks.

Then there is an explosion and the Atlas begins to shake.

I grip onto the desk as the shock wave makes its way to me.

There is a wave of blue light and on contact I know i'm a goner.

My body, whats happening to me?

I am thrown back and my body is crashed against a wall and there is the audible and repulsive fracturing of my bones against cold metal.

There is something more than pain running through my body. Its excruciating. I can't handle this. I can't hold myself together.

I can't stile the scream that incinerates my throat.

I can't stop my body from collapsing.

I can't stop screaming out in pitiful agony.

"TAKASHI!"

Where is he? Can he hear me?

It almost feels like my molecules and atoms were being ripped apart and put back together and ripped apart again in repeated succession.

"TAKASHI! I NEED YOU!"

All writhe in merciless torture on the floor of the Atlas as crossbeams, wires and glass shatter all around me and are set aflame.

Is this what it felt like to be my brother? Alone, burning, your flesh being scraped away by glass and metal?

"TAKASHI, PLEASE!"

I can't stop shaking.

I curl up on the floor and bring my hands to my chest. My hands are bleeding from the shattered glass and my head hurts. Everything hurts and bleeds.

"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE THE PAIN STOP PLEASE! TAKASHI! TAKASHI WHERE ARE YOU? TAKASHI! PLEASE HELP ME!"

KILL ME PLEASE

With one last effort to call Takashi, something fall across my limp body and crushed my back. What I guess is a crossbeam has fallen over me. I'm too weak to crawl out from under the crushing weight.

There is the ear splitting sound of screeching metal.

I can barely raise my head off the ground just to see the ground rise to meet the front of the Atlas.

Getting closer and closer.

I let my eyes flutter shut.

No one is coming for me. I should've known.

Takashi is probably dead by now. Watching me suffer until death takes pity on me and finally lets me go join him.

The Atlas makes contact with the ground and the last think know is that I go up in flames.

TAKASHI!

The world around me fades to black.

I drift in and out of hallucinations.

There is a far away voice.

I realize that this is a flashback.

I guess I'm not dead... yet.

......................................................................................................................................

"Adam, its okay." He says ruffling my hair a bit.

"Dad, I don't want to go." I plead.

"I know kiddo but you have to. I'm sure you'll be okay."

He reaches a hand down to me.

"Just hold my hand. You will be okay." he says soothingly.

Tentatively, I reach my hand out and place it in his. It's so small compared to my fathers hand.

Dad holds my hand all the way into the classroom where the teacher has set out some chair facing each other.

We walk in and sit down in front of my teacher.

"Mr. Watten, as you know, your son is very different from many other kids we have had here at Brook Elementary."

"So I have been told. I know he gets into fights easily and we are working on that-"

"This is not about your son's behavior issues. We are talking about his intellect."

"Oh no."

I squirm in my seat uncomfortably.

"Mr. Watten, Adam is highly intellectual for his age. The school board has kept a keen eye on him and has seen an unusually high aptitude for science and math."

"Unusually...high?"

"Yes, we are asking that you look into switching Adam to a The Galaxy Garrison."

"Where I work? He won't get a traditional education there."

"He may not but your son is perfectly capable of flourishing at the Garrison. I would hate to see talent and brilliance like his left unnurtured."

Things go fuzzy

sound becomes distant

another memory plays in my head.

I sit patiently on the floor in front of the front door.

"Adam, why are you sitting there? You're in my way."

I look behind me to see my stepmom [Julia] with her hands on her hips while she holds my six year old brother in her arms.

"I'm just waiting for the mail to get here." I say innocently.

"You have been waiting in that same place for days now. Why don'y you go play with your friends?"

I am about to ask if that is a rhetorical question when the front door opens and my Dad walks in with a thick folder in hand.

"Adam, you got in!"

"Yes!" I shout, throwing my hands in the air.

"You got accepted with honors and a scholarship!" My Dad cheers, giving me a hug.

"Oh thank god, I was beginning to worry we might go bankrupt because of tuition." my step mom says with a sigh of relief.

I decide that even after eight years, I still don't like her.

The memory fades again,

and something different,

more colorful comes up.

"Son, remember, don't upset the teachers and don't get into fights. I also want clean language from you. For my sake and for yours, please behave. It's not ordinary that kids as young as you get accepted."

"I know. Being two years younger than most of the kids is a disadvantage and some angry hormonal teen is going to be a cretan and try to intimidate me. Do you seriously think I can clean up my language?" I say raising one eyebrow.

"Adam, don't go in thinking you're some hot shot."

"I'm not. I'm going in thinking that everyone is immature and make unwise decisions to try to play themselves up."

"Don't be like that. You know you aren't the only gifted student."

"Huh?"

"There is a gifted international student coming to the Garrison. The student has been preparing to go here for many years. Be friends with them."

I stop walking.

"International gifted student? Who would that be?"

"I don't know much about this student other than they are here because of their athletic and piloting abilities. I want you to find that student and be friendly to them."

"Flatter them an make lots of complements. Got it." I say flatly.

"Adam!"

"What? People like that. It's the easiest way to make friends. And in fact, I don't need any. I'm content to being on my own you know."

"Well if you continue like this you will grow up a cold and unlikable person."

I look at my dad who gives me a stern look. And then it softens.

"I know what's happening. You want to protect yourself." he says simply.

"Maybe I do."

"It will all be okay."

"In a predominantly white school where I am Arabian and Brazilian and I am two years younger than all of my classmates! I will stand out and not in the good way."

"So will the international student."

"Who will probably be from white Europe! I on the other hand am a for sure punching bag for everyone!"

"Adam, the Garrison is a progressive school. No one will target you because of what you look like. Now go in there and have fun. You can always stop by my office."

"But-"

"Adam, what will really make you a punching bag is your whining." My dad says dryly.

"I have to get to work. Get to the orientation presentation early and find a person to sit with. I'll see you later." My Dad says as he waves to me and walks away.

I sigh and walk into the Garrison.

What greets me is bright colors and the sound of bustling people.

The floor of the main entrance hall is decorated with various marble sediment arranged to form the Galaxy Garrison symbol and motto.

Ante Adventum sui. Adventure before self.

There is mosaic tiling along the right side wall showing the solar system in a range of colors and bright stars. The Mosaic tiling follows up a staircase to the second and third levels of the main building.

On the left side are quotes from various people who have made history in space exploration. Many of whom are alumni.

The quote at the top is my favorite.

"Imagination is more important thank knowing." Albert Einstein.

On the ceiling is the first model jet built at the Garrison hanging by wires, the wings outstretched as if it was in mid flight.

Everything about the atmosphere is inviting and stirs a sense of excitement with in me.

They told me this was where I could thrive at my best. Well, I'll give the my best!

I start walking with a strong feeling of confidence but I imminently run into another student and knock the books from their hands.

I drop down to help pick up their books and hand them to the kid.

Then I make eye contact with the prettiest obsidian grey eyes I have ever seen. They are catlike and accented by thick eyelashes.

They look back at me, wide with fear.

The person looks down, mumbles a quick thank you and rushes away.

I watch the kid walk away.

Looking at the kid from the back, I think its a boy. He has jet black hair and an undercut. He is short and has a solid build. If I stood next to him, I would tower over him a good few inches.

Then I think back to the dark catlike eyes.

This must be the kid joining the Garrison from out of the US.

That memory becomes faded again.

And something darker and less illuminated

comes up in my mind.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" He asked, clutching his book closely to his chest.

Last night, I got him to really open up but he seems to be closing in on himself again. I find it disheartening that he has such brittle self esteem.

"Do I have to have a reason to be nice to you?" I ask rhetorically, but I don't think he thinks it's a rhetorical question.

An older student walks past us and pushes us to the side. Takashi looks very uncomfortable and steps away but I stay right where I am.

"Don't let cretins like them bother you. I think you're a cool person. Of course I don't need a reason to be your friend. We are flight partners and roommates after all."

He nods.

"You want to sneak out and stargaze some more tonight?"

Takashi's eyes light up and a warmth comes to the coolness of his obsidian grey eyes.

"Yeah."

"I'll see you after class then."

Things become faded again and something new appears.

I'm walking down the halls of the Garrison when I find Takashi in a corner with some of our classmates talking and laughing. They seem to be having a good time so I go over to them. As I'm walking over, their conversation becomes clearer and clearer.

"So why can't you talk like everyone else?"

"Um...uhh."

Takashi is obviously nervous. He is blushing from embarrassment and his ears are turning red. 

My heart sinks. I immediately know kids are making fun of him.

From a distance, out eyes lock and his grey eyes scream "Help me!"

I hurry up to get to him.

"Guys, I try. Okay? You know English isn't my first language."

"Yeah, but you get r and l mixed up and you pronounce things weirdly sometimes."

"I'm still learning you know. I started learning English only a year ago. I'm not completely fluent."

"Whatever. Your handwriting is atrocious."

Yeah but if you tried writing kanji, your handwriting would be a god awful. At least I make it a habit of practicing it daily.

Takashi is getting upset.

I walk in and start talking using everything I learned from Takashi. 

"Takashi-san! Genki desu ka?"

Takashi! How are you?

Everyone looks at me weirdly, but Takashi face lights up and he smiles. His tension is eased as he starts talking in his go to language.

"Konnichiwa, Adamu-san. Daijoubu desu."

Hi Adam. I'm okay.

"What is going on?"

I turn to them and start talking.

"Ii tenki da na?"

Great weather, isn't it?

"Dude, what are you saying?"

"Hey, I'm just asking if you think the weather is nice."

The kids exchange uncomfortable expressions.

"Let's go leave these two to their conversation."

They walk away an we watch them until they turn the corner.

"Baka!" I yelled after them and Takashi started laughing.

"Thanks for getting me out of that."

"Kochira koso."

Right back at ya.

"Hey, I don't remember teaching you that."

"I look up how to start and maintain conversations online all the time. I want to be able to have a detailed conversation with you in your native language."

Takashi gives me a fond smile.

"And don't listen to them. I think your English is great."

Takashi hugs me.

"Thank you."

The memory fades again into something....much different.

All I feel is a strong steady rhythm that syncs with neon colors.

Blasting loud and clear into the night.

" Trying to be more like a traditional high school is an interesting idea for the Garrison." Says Takashi.

I have known Takashi for a few years now. He is more confident and he is beginning to hit his growth spurt.

I for one haven't changed too much. But hey, I'm still taller than Takashi.

"But a school dance? Are you sure?" I ask him as Takashi pulls me with him to the main entrance hall center where a heavy baseline is playing from the hall and lights ignite the ceiling.

"Come on! It will be fun!" Takashi tells over the music that grows louder and louder with each step in the middle of the dance floor.

The baseline and beat surrounds me and I can feel the vibrations and energy in my heart.

"I don't really-"

"Adaaaaaaam! Please! And I thought I used to be a shy loser."

"Are you calling me-"

"No no no no! I don't mean that. Just, come on. Maybe we can get you a girlfriend or something!"

Haha. Good one Kashi. Real funny.

I cover my face with my hands to hide my blush.

We get to the middle finally. A new song starts playing around us and everyone is singng, or screaming to the music.

"Havana, ooh na-na (ay)

Half of my heart is in Havana, ooh-na-na (ay, ay)  
He took me back to East Atlanta, na-na-na  
Oh, but my heart is in Havana (ay)  
There's somethin' 'bout his manners (uh huh)  
Havana, ooh na-na (uh)" 

The beat is slower and more...

Sensual.

I get nervous as I look around for Takashi in the crowd of people.

In the crowd I see him. The way he moves to the music.  
The way his whole body...seems to...just,  
Sway with the rhythm, coming alive and igniting a thought in my mind.  
The easygoing carefree way he seems to move is something I find rather exciting. No, I'd say it's more...

alluring. Enchanting kind of. Mesmerizing. 

I feel like i'm staring at his body so I look away but I can't help stealing some glances here and there.

Oh my god I can't do this!

My stomach knots up in ways I never felt before.

"I think I'm going to leave. I want to study for that Astrology test."

"In two weeks? Adam, this is our chance to let loose for once."

I sigh.

"Kashi, have fun without me. I'm going back."

I turn away and walk out the doors out into the cool night.

Walking back to the dorms I feel something brush my hand for just a moment.

I turn around to see Takashi.

"I said no, okay?!"

"Did I say something to upset you?" He asks, his voice sounding hurt.

"Wha, no! It's just, no. Okay? No. I don't fit in with that crowd and I never will."

"Okay. I just didn't want to leave you feeling like I hurt you."

I nods and i start to walk away.

I feel him grab my hand again.

"This wan't about me asking to help you get a girlfriend right?"

"Taka! Let me go!"

Takashi drops my hand.

"I...I don't know. Just let me go. Okay?"

But he doesn't. He pulls me into an embrace.

"TAKA-"

He kisses my forehead quickly and rushes away.

"...shi..."

Oh my god. What just happened?

I can't pretend like that didn't happen.

can i?

Things flash before my eyes again. 

 

Its been five years since I've known Takashi.

My dad's office door opens.

I stomp angrily while holding the ice pack up to my busied face.

"I thought I taught you better." My father says sternly when I sit down in the chair in front of his desk.

"You taught me to fight for what is right."

"Getting physical wasn't what I meant. You broke the poor kid's nose!"

"They deserved it!"

"The person just made a snarky comment! You never had to listen to it and it wasn't even directed at you!"

"You told me five years ago that this school was progressive! Where is the progressiveness? Why are we still treated like shit?"

"because you haven't earned the respect of your peers."

"I have broken five records here already!"

"This isn't about records this is about your bad attitude and your inability to control yourself. You may be smart, but you have no common sense to think that you could kick that kid and get away with it!"

"I didn't want to get away with anything! I kicked them and I meant it!"

"Why are you so obsessed with protecting that, oh whats his name again? Katashi?"

"Its Takashi!"

My dad looks like he is about to yell at me, but then he stops.

"Adam, why can't you learn to let things go? Why do you insist on holding on to anger and aggression?"

"I'm not angry or aggressive!"

"Never in my life would I imagine you to attack a student so violently. What caused this sudden outburst?"

I say nothing.

"Is this about your friend?"

I nod slowly.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"No."

yes.

a million things.

It fades again and changes atmosphere.

Takashi and I sit uncomfortably in Kovu's office waiting for my dad to arrive from the Lab Atrium. 

The clock on the wall ticks mechanically. Every second I get closer to being disowned by my dad. I almost can't wait to see his reaction when I have to tell him what we did.

Takashi and I were caught kissing in the halls and were dragged here by upset teachers and shouting students.

In front of us Kovu sits at his desk preparing expulsion papers.

All that for a kiss on the cheek. How retrogressive can this place get?

I flinch as I hear the door opening behind me.

"Sorry I'm late. What did these two do now?" My dad asks tiredly.

"I'd like to speak to you about this alone. You two, outside now!"

We retreat to the backdoor with dragged feet.

My Dad gives me a concerned look and puts his hand on my shoulder but I brush it away without acknowledgment and I keep walking until the door shuts audibly from behind us.

Takashi leans against a wall and slumps to the ground with his head in his hands.

"I'm so sorry. I thought no one could see us." he mumbles.

I kneel down and pull him into an embrace.

"Takashi, It's not your fault. I'd rather be expelled than leave you."

"Adam, I'll be deported back to Japan. You know same sex relationships are forbidden there!"

"Then stay with me."

"You said your dad was going to kill us if he found out."

"Then lets run away together." I say pulling him up.

"Wait, are you serious?" He asks me.

"We are eighteen. Technically we are adults and can do whatever the fuck we want."

"Like getting a car!"

"And driving far away from here." I say taking his hands in mine.

We look at each other with wicked imagination.

"Keep dreaming. The wilder the better cuz we're pretty much fucked at this point."

Suddenly there is a bang of a fist on a table and enraged yelling.

"Don't you DARE talk about my son or Takashi like that! EVER!"

Takashi flinches next to me, but the yelling continues.

"So what? You have no power to decide that!"

I cover my ears with my hands. I've never heard my father shout so loudly.

People in the hall turn to us but all we can do is keep on eavesdropping.

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT GARRISON CODE BULLSHIT! HE IS MY SON! NOT YOURS AND I CAN RAISE HIM HOW I SEE FIT! AND HE IS MY SON'S BOYFRIEND AND EVEN YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM GO TO CONVERSION THERAPY EITHER! NOW IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, I have something more important to be doing right now. Good day commander."

My dad walks out and slams the door.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that. You two, come with me please."

My dad led us to the Garrison staff break room for tea and a discussion.

I thought I was going to be disowned!

"I guess I know what you two mean now about dealing with bigotry and homophobia within the student body. I'm sorry, I should've seen it sooner."

"It's okay Professor Watten." Takashi says.

"Kid, how many times am I going to tell you. You can call me Alex. You two are getting too old to be acting like cadets. You're graduating soon. I can't believe he was going to have you two expelled!"

"We never broke that PDA rule ever! I'm surprised we managed to keep closeted this long without suspicion." I exclaimed.

"Actually, I had a hunch for a long time."

"What?!"

"I had a hunch about the two of you. For many years actually."

"How?"

"Were we obvious?"

"I mean it wan't hard to see that you two hit it off very well from the beginning. From my side of it all, It was really nice to see Adam make a friend in the beginning. By the time you guys were fifteen I started thinking you might like one another. From then on I guessed you two were pining after one another."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to assume your sexuality. That goes for gender, attraction and the rest of your identities as well, just so the both of you know."

"It's amazing how you are so forward thinking. Why isn't everyone else?" Takashi asked.

"The world is changing and that's something nobody can control. The LGBT movement is making a rebound after what happened. With that said, people either learn to go along with the tide of things or they fight it. They choose to fight it. We choose to go with it. You get that choose too. But Adam seems to want to fight them no matter what."

"I have my rights, I'm getting my rights!"

"You deserve every right. You two are part of many highly stereotyped minorities. The most pressure is on you two. Now that I'm retiring, you guys can change things when you get to higher positions. This school really needs representation across all walks of life. I can't believe I was so wrong saying this place was progressive."

"It's okay, Dad." I say gently.

"No. It isn't. It really isn't."

It's weird for a person like my dad to have a dismal attitude so I try to fix that.

I walk over to him and hug him.

"Hey, don't worry about a thing. Takashi and I aren't so easily pushed back by all this. When we graduate we are going to got to the conservatory here, we're going to study and work up to a high position here. We'll change things."

"We are respected students here anyway. At least by most of the teachers." Takashi says off to the side.

My dad pulls him in.

"I just want you guys to know that I accept you two for who you are. I was always willing to accept you and I will always accept you. No matter what. And being gay isn't wrong. Loving someone of the same sex was never wrong. What's wrong is that it's a label. That people think being gay choice or a lifestyle that's different from a normal person's. That goes for any sexuality, gender or gender expression. I'm your biggest ally here."

"Thanks Dad."

"I really appreciate it Alex."

My dad lets us go.

"If Kovu or anyone gives you any problems, send them to me. Also, Classes start in fifteen minutes. You guys better get going."

Things get faded again but it's different.

There is the distant feeling of pain throughout my body. Especially in my lower back.

But someone is holding me.

Things begin to clear up and my mind awakens.

I don't know who is holding me but I know they have a gold ring on a chord around their neck.

 

 

"Hey, he's waking up!"


	31. It Never Left Us

Shiro's POV

(Three hours ago)

Over the signal is a scream.

It's from Adam!

My eyes instantly fill with tears.

I turn my lion to the Atlas.

The shockwave backfired on him.

I watch as the Atlas falls apart piece by peace.

"TAKASHI!"

"ADAM! ITS OKAY! IM COMING TO GET YOU!"

I dart to the Atlas as parts begin to burst into flame and explode.

"SHIRO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"I HAVE TO GET ADAM!"

As I get closer and closer to the Atlas, the more damage I can see has been done.

One of the thrusters explodes, sending out a flare of light and flames.  
Without that thruster, the Atlas won't fly.

The Atlas begins to fall with increasing speed.

"TAKASHI I NEED YOU!"

"IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE! STAY WHERE YOU ARE!"

Keith: "SHIRO, YOU CAN'T JUST ABANDON THE MISSION!"

Shiro: "WELL I CAN'T LEAVE HIM THERE ALONE! I LEFT HIM ONCE AND IM NOT LEAVING HIM AGAIN!"

I force the lion into a nose dive after the Atlas. Pieces of debris break off of the ship and make it harder for me to get even close.

I push the throttles more and more and more until they won't go any farther.

I'm closing in on the Atlas as everyone shouts at me not to.

Hunk: "Shiro I'm sorry but Adam is probably dead by now."

"NO HE'S NOT!"

The signal to the Atlas fails and my nerves skyrocket.

The debris falling around me as I chase the Atlas is closing in on me.

Lance: "SHIRO YOU CANT DO THIS! THE LION WILL BE DAMAGED AGAIN!"

I shut the signals off and try to reconnect with the Atlas.

We get closer and closer to the ground.

Debris hits the sides of my lion but I pay no attention. There is scrapping against the side of the lion and I cringe at the sound.

I can't think about that, I need to get to Adam! If I loose him, I will never be able to forgive myself.

If I loose him I loose everything.

I get closer to the Atlas.

Using the claws of the lion, I rip away the front of the Atlas and force the lion to climb inside.

Everything inside is completely ruined.

There is shattered glass, plaster, steel and cross beams strewn about and set aflame. The ceiling has fallen in as well.

I turn on the heat vision to see if I can find him.

I don't know how much time I have left until we go up in flames.

And the I see him on the radar. His body temperature is dropping quickly.

I dash out of the lion and throw myself in the Atlas in the direction of the main control board where Adam should be.

In the free fall, I have to make my way in his direction and clear away debris to get to his body.

Pushing away enough glass and steel, I find Adam laying unconscious stuck under a crossbeam.

His face is covered in blood. There is a horrific gash on his left arm leaking blood that stains his uniform completely red.

I struggle to lift the crossbeam from his body.

I use most of my strength in my right arm to lift the crossbar and my left to pull his body out from under leaving a trail of blood.

I force myself not to gag as I try to pick him up but something feels seriously wrong.

I lay him back down on his stomach and gently feel his back.

Along the base of his spine is what I guess is either a severe fracture or a complete shattering of the vertebrae.

It must've happened when the crossbeam fell on him.

If Adam's back is broken, he will be paralyzed for sure. He will never walk again.

That is if he makes it out of this alive.

I cradle his limp body in my arms as carefully as I can.

Maneuvering through the wreckage is nearly impossible. I try my best to keep his back supported but everything is so wrecked and difficult to escape I have to manage carrying him over my shoulder.

I dash back to my lion with Adam in my arms and fly away within seconds of the Atlas touching down to earth and exploding.

But I'm not fast enough.

In an instant, the lion looses control and is thrown in an entirely new direction and crashes, the momentum dragging us and throwing the lion about.

I struggle to stay in my chair to keep Adam safe.

There is another source of blinding light.   
And it's purple.

The lions suddenly stops tumbling and comes to a stand still mid fall.

There is purple light all around the lion being connected by the Galran Ship.

The lion is tugged forward.  
The Galra is pulling us in.

My hands grab the throttles and pull them back but they are jammed and they won't budge.

I try pushing the distress button but just don't light up.

Lance: "Guys, the Galra are pulling us in! I can't fight it!"

Hunk: "Neither can I!"

Keith: "All the functions are jammed or not responding."

Pidge: "I think the lions don't have enough power to resist the Galra. We can't do anything more. What do we do Shiro?"

It's over. We lost. We're dead.

In my vision of the lion I can see the Atlas escape pods Allura and Coran left in are being pulled in as well.

Hunk: "Shiro?"

I look to Adam's unconscious body in my arms.

It's my fault. This is all my fault. Adam is going to be in so much pain when he wakes up. And there's nothing I can do about it.

Keith: "Shiro! What do we do?!"

I let go of the thrusters.  
There is nothing left for us.

Shiro: "We give up."

Lance: "Shiro, that's not an option of ours."

Shiro: "if that's a given than I'm at a loss for what to do."

Keith: "Think Shiro. What would Adam do?"

Shiro: "Make a snarky comment. I don't know Okay? I got Adam from the ruins of the Atlas. His arm is bleeding, there is a gash on his face, and his back is probably broken. He might be dead in my arms right now. If he isn't, he will be in so much pain when he wakes up. I don't know what to do anymore so I'm letting go. Okay, I'm letting go."

The line goes flat as the black lion is pulled into the Galran ship.

From within the inner chamber I can hear footsteps coming in.  
Then there is a loud bang on the door.  
And another.  
With the third loud crash, the doors are bent open and Galran soldiers flood into the cabin.

"Black Paladin, surrender or we'll shoot!" One f the soldiers shouted, loading his gun.

"I've already given up. You don't have to say anything more." I say getting out of my seat with Adam in my arms.

The soldiers look at eachother in disbelief.

"Really? Is that it? You're not going to fight anymore?"

"Nope. It's over. I have nothing left."

The Galran soldier looks let down.

"I thought you were supposed to be a brave warrior, Black Paladin....but I guess I was wrong." She says in disappointment.

"I was wrong too." I mutter shallowly.

For a moment, the Galran soldier stalls. They look at eachother for what to do. One of them pulls out a pair of handcuffs.

"Those won't be necessary. I'll do whatever you want."

Again the guards are taken back.

"Just carry the other and come with us."

"Sure."

I shift to holding Adam bridal style as Galran soldiers surround me. Their guns only inches away from my body.

They lead me to the cells.  
On the way there I meet the rest of the team who has been handcuffed and beaten.

Lance and Keith lean on to one another as they limp in pain.   
There are bruises on their faces and necks.

Hunk and Pidge walk in a pair as well, with Hunk having the most injuries. He must've protected Pidge.

Allura and Coran stay close to each other as well, whispering words of comfort and support.

They all take one look at me and scowl.

I turn away feeling guilt.

We all walk in bitter silence to the prisoner cells.

"Commander, what are we to do with the spare?" The soldier asks.

"Leave him to die. It shouldn't be more than three days concerning the fact his spinal chord is severed."

My grip on Adam's body tightens and I hold him closer to my chest.  
So he really isn't going to survive this.

"Put the unconscious body down." The solder orders.

"Where?"

"In the cell. We need you handcuffed."

I walk into the cell and lay Adam down gently and accept the handcuffs without a fight.

We all get locked in and we wait there.

I put Adam in my lap and I wrap my handcuffed arms around him. Just to know that he's there.

When the guards walk away, Keith speaks up.

"You should've taken them out! You had the chance!"

"What chance Keith? We are going to die. This is the end."

"Adam wouldn't give up. He'd never give up."

"I know. That's why he took me back when I didn't deserve it."

Everyone falls silent for a long long time.  
There is only the occasional cough or yawn but no one says anything.

After what seems like 45 minutes of wasting away in the cell, someone stirs and there is a groan of pain.

"Hey, he's waking up." Pidge starts.

"Oh no, he's going to be in pain."

I try to support his body weight comfortably as Adam begins to gain consciousness. He moans in pain.

Everyone stiffens.

I hold onto him to give him comfort but I know it's useless. I can't protect him anymore.

Adam cries out in pain.

"Takashi!"

"I'm right here, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere." I whisper to him, trying to comfort him.

Adam let's out another tortured cry.

"It hurts!"

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"TAKASHI!!"

Adam's agony and pain becomes louder and more excruciating to hear.

I start crying as I hold onto him with no pain relief to offer.

Pidge and Hunk Hold one another in tears and Keith has gone numb.

Lance covered his ears and rocks back and forth in a dark corner.

Allura and Coran jump up suddenly.

"I can't stand it anymore! Where is he hurt?" Coran asks.

"His lower spinal chord is severed at his lower back and the vertebrae was crushed under a crossbeam."

"Give him to me." Allura says.

"But if I move him it'll hurt him worse."

"We have no choice! Lay him down."

"I'm sorry Adam."

I shift Adam in my arms and he cries louder.

"STOP PLEASE!"

"Support his head and upper back. Show me the injury." Allura commands.

I do as I'm told. Holding him in my arms, I pull his uniform jacket up to reveal a bleeding wound on his lower back. The skin around the would is a dark purple and is well on its way to being blue and the once gentle curve of his back is irregular and dented. I really try not to gag.

Upon sight Hunk faints and Pidge nearly throws up. Lance shields his eyes and Keith recoils back.

Allura places her hands over the wound, staining her hands a deep red and Adam screams in pain.

"You're hurting him!" I cry as I hold him protectively and I try to push away her hands on instinct.

"Shiro, stop. Wait a moment."Coran assures me.

Allura's hands begin to glow as she concentrates.

Adam's screams of pain begin to subside gently until all is left is soft whimpering.

I encircle him in my arms and he reaches out to me and clings back to me just as fiercely.

Allura pulls away her soiled hands and wipes them on her lap leaving dark red streaks behind.

"I don't have enough energy to heal him. I could only numb the base of his spine. The effects won't last forever but he will be okay for now."

"Thank you."

Adam's senses awaken as he begins to take in his surroundings.

"Takashi, what's going on? Where are we?...Takashi, oh my GOD I CAN'T MOVE!" Adam shouts in panic.

"Shhhhh, it's okay." I try to assure him.

"WHAT THE FUCK!? I CAN'T MOVE MY LEGS! SOMEONE FUCKING EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW!"

"Adam, please be calm." Coran said.

"FUCKING CALM?!"

Everyone gets nervous. Especially Keith and Lance.   
They were the students in his class that saw Adam loose his composure once.

"Okay? You have valid reason to be loosing your composure but please. For me?" I say, cupping his face gently.

Adam takes in a deep breath and lets it out with a long sigh and leans against my hand, placing his own hand around my wrist.

"What happened to me? What is wrong with my body?"

I look to the others for help but they just exchange looks of anguish.

I look back to him, and swallow my pride.

"Sweetheart," I say as gently as I can, "your spine is broken."

Adam looks confused for a moment and then realization hits him in the face like a truck full of bricks.

"oh my god." He whispers in disbelief.

"I'm so sorry."

Tears well up in my eyes.

I hold him and rock him gently back and forth as he realizes all the things to come.

"Is this what it felt like? Knowing you'd end up like this?" Adam asks so quietly his voice is just below a whisper.

"Every second of it. But I had you the whole time. I'm not going to leave you."

"How can we get out of here? I'm useless!"

"We can't." I whisper, tears spilling from my eyes. "We can't."

Adam looks to everyone in the cell. Their dejected faces confirming the worst.

"I never thought it'd be like this. Never." Allura mumbles quietly.

"It was a good run. Right?" Lance says weakly as he wipes away tears. "Right?"

"Of course it was." Keith mourns. "It was. Seeing the universe, meeting new civilizations."

Hunk had a sad smile on his face.  
"It's like we're kids living all our dreams. We got to do things people only see in their wildest dreams. We made ours reality."

"And in the process, we learned something more about all the cosmos and galaxies. We learned about each other." Pidge said.

"We became family. We became a symbol of hope. The strongest leaders of Altea would take years and years to do what you all did in the short span of one year." Coran admirer, lifting our spirits slightly.

"We aren't dying for nothing." Allura sobs.

She breaks down in tears, but they aren't tears of sadness. What are they for? Relief?   
What is crying becomes of mix of sobbing and laughing.

"Princess, are you all right?"

"I see it now! I see it all! Coran, you remember the old Altean saying, right?"

"Of course. Altea is not a place. It's where you see it, feel it, know it."

"I can't believe I finally realized what it all meant. All this time, Altea was never the planet I lived on or what I called home. Altea was us. The pride, the strength, the spirit! I have always loved my people, and I was so focused on saving all the material things I forgot. We are all Altea. We are the fighting spirit!" Allura cries out and laughs at the same time.   
It's a wild epiphany.

Slowly but surely, we all join in.

The familiar feeling of belonging consumes us all and unites us.

"So this is what Altea feels like." Adam says, smiling softly.

"Yeah. This is Altea." Coran says , his jolly energy coming back to him.

"The freedom, the beauty in it all. This was everything in Altea. I can finally let go. I can finally find peace again. I can live in acceptance!" Allura says full of content and joy that we all haven't seen in a long long time.

Even a light seems to ignite in Coran.

I look around the room to see smiling faces as lights of hope spark in everyone's eyes. Hear laughter and warm conversations all around the room.

"Live in acceptance, huh." Adam mumbles quietly.

I turn to look at him.

He looks back at me.

It seems like the laughter has been distant for us.   
All our lives, the joys of acceptance have been rare. If this is Altea, could we find it here?

"Adam?" I ask him quietly, taking his hand in mine and squeezing gently.

"Yeah, I think it's time they know."


	32. 🏳️🌈Who We Are🏳️🌈

Adam's POV

"Yeah, I think it's time they know."

Takashi gives me a small smile. I swear I can hear his thoughts saying 'here goes nothing'

It should be 'here goes everything.'

Because it is. Our sexuality is everything to us. It is a huge part of our identities. It makes us who we are.

For years and years we suppressed who we were and denied it. In shame we hid. We were trapped in fear because we were too afraid to step out into the light.

That light.

It shines on everyone but Takashi and I.

We've never felt it. Never bathed in its warmth together. That true acceptance from family and peers. From everyone.

Late at night we'd stay up late and imagine being able to reach out of darkness and touching that light. Letting it surround us. So we could let our rainbows shine. But we never did unless that light would burn us if either of us tried to touch it.

That light. It taunted and tortured us for years. And it still does.

But we can't stand it anymore!

We can't deny it anymore! For years we have hid our colors in shame. For far too long. Buried deep and smothered under lies ... we though those colors would fade.

We were wrong.

I'm happy we were wrong because we can feel them. Rising within us, their color rising to the surface ready to overflow and spill out like a tidal wave. Stretching out as far as the sky will allow.

All it takes is a few words. It's as simple as that.

To shine, or to burn.

But this is who we are. If we burn,

we burn brightly and with dignity for all to see us.

A beacon in the darkest depths of despair.

In the farthest corners of the closet. 

Shine or burn we will all be seen.

And you will never look away.

 

Among the joy, Takashi and I get ready to find our place within it all. We reach into the light.

The light.

"Hey, guys." Takashi says clearing his throat. "Adam and I, we have something we want to say."

Keith knows whats coming. He nods in approval.

Slowly everyone falls silent.

They can't feel the pressure we do. They can't feel the elevation of our heart rate like we do. They don't know like we do.

So let's make them understand.

"I know this is the end, and we all want it to be on a high note. Right?"

Everyone chatters in agreement.

Takashi takes a deep breath, and silence falls all around us.

The light, we extend our hands to it.

"This is something we have never told most of you. We think it's time you know something about us."

We reach closer. The light's warmth grazing my hand.

"What is it?" Lance asks.

I lean on Takashi a little more.

The colors, the light, it's leaking, its coming out.

The light is so close.

Takashi looks back to me, and I nod.

He takes my hand in his, for all to see.

"We're gay."

That's all it takes.

Those small but powerful words.

Beautiful words.

It all overflows. The wave surges forth, a ray of all colors glittering brilliantly as they hit that light and flare out like wings.

All we have to do is watch what happens.

We prepare to burn like gasoline.

There is a mix of shocked faces.

"Are you okay with that?" I ask tentatively.

Out of everyone, Lance looks the most shocked.

"Oh Shiro, Adam, I'm always okay with that." Lance says finally his shock melting into acceptance.

"Of course you guys!" Pidge chimes in.

"I'm more than okay with it." Hunk says.

"I'm proud of you two for coming out and owning who you guys are." Kieth says with a warm smile.

We shine for once. Under acceptance, under approval.

And it is freeing.

Freeing to be able to hold his hand in mine, freeing to be able to kiss him in front of others.

Its freeing that I can love him and be proud of who I am.

But Allura and Coran look completely confused.

"I have never heard this term before. I don't fully understand its meaning."

Takashi looks worried for a moment.

"The term gay or homosexual means someone who feels attraction to someone of the same sex." I explain gently.

"You really have a term for that?" Coran asks.

"Well, yeah." Pidge says.

Allura looks taken back and shocked at Pidges answer.

"Oh, I understand what it means to like the same sex but...why did you hide that?" Allura asks in complete confusion.

Takashi looks confused. I look around the room to see that everyone is confused.

"Hide the fact, that i'm gay?" Takashi asks.

"Yes. I don't understand that. Isn't that who you are?"

Takashi looks to me for help, so I start talking.

"Of course its part of who we are. Allura, humans are predominantly heterosexual, or someone who is not attracted to the same sex. Got that?"

"Yes."

"Well what if I told you that many of those heterosexuals through that loving someone of the same sex is...wrong?"

"Wrong? But its just love."

"I know...I know."

There is heavy silence again.

"I will never think it is wrong, ever. Have people hurt you because of your sexualty?"

"No. We never told them."

"Never told them, than what did they think? Did they just assume you were heterosexual?"

"Yeah."

"Never in my life would I think that people could do that to one another. I'm so sorry."

"Do you want people to know that now?"

Takashi and I look at one another.

Takashi reaches to the chord around his neck hidden under his armor and reveals it.  
The gold ring on the chord shining in the light for everyone to see.

I remove the gloves from my hands, and reveal the gold ring on my finger.

"Yeah. I want people to know." Takashi says.

Suddenly everyone gives a loud cheer.

Takashi and I embrace, and for the first time,

We show others just how much we love each other.

We kiss.

For the first time I am unashamed and unafraid to love him openly.

We finally shine in the light.

"Hey guys, Lance and I have something to say." Keith says suddenly.

We look to them, and they are holding hands.

"I'm gay too." Keith says.

"And I'm bisexual."

"I'm ace." Pidge says shyly.

"And I'm pan." Hunk says.

"If that's so than I would be the human equivalent of being homosexual as well." Coran says.

"I would be bisexual then." Allura says.

I am taken back by all the confessions.

I look to Takashi and he is surprised as well.

"Wow, we really do travel in packs!" He says finally.

We all laugh and come into a group embrace. Hands over shoulders, leaning in together.

"No matter what happens, no matter what people think, do, or say, we're all going to support one another."  
I say.

"Let's not be ashamed of who we are anymore."

Everyone makes a collective agreement.

Unknown to any of the galra here, there is a surge of colors surrounding us, growing brighter and brighter by the second overcoming their darkness. A ray of rainbows that grows stronger with every second, pulsing to the rhythm of our heartbeats and becoming one. Lighting up the darkness shrouded around us and making our vision clear. The pride, the strength, it unites us and lifts us.

We are who we are.   
We are a ray of light in the darkness for all to see us.   
For all to admire and recognize.   
We aren't giving up.   
The fight isn't over.   
But we serve at the forefront armed with pride.

"Let's find a way out of here." I decide finally.

"I can see if I can pick the lock on the cell." Pidge says.

"I can see if we can get of of the restraints."

"Alright team, lets find a way to break out of here!"


	33. The Great Escape

Adam's POV

We spread out and get to work, looking at the bars of the cell.

"Hey guys, I think we need a key." Lance says, looking at the lock of the cell.

"Good work Lance. I remember the soldier who locked us in having a key ring on their utility belt. Maybe we just need them to come back."

"But how." Allura asks.

We all stop to think for a moment. Then Takashi looks at me.

"What, why are you looking at me like that?" I ask.

"I'm sorry this sounds blunt but can you play dead?"

"Bitch, what?!"

"If you play dead, then we can ask the Galran soldier to come back and get rid of you. When the door opens, we can attack! Are you willing to do that for us?"

"Fine but you owe me." I say with an air of sass.

"Ok so we use your fiancé as a decoy and attack the soldier. What else?" Lance retorts.

"If the soldier is by them self, we make the kill quick, silent and clean. We want no attention drawn to ourselves. If they are in a group, we do our best to make it silent. We grab the keys and we sneak out using their armor as a disguise. Allura can change her skin color and height to help."

"Dang Alteans are cool! But what about me, I can't use my legs."

"I'll carry you."

Pidge, Lance and Hunk start fangirling.

"I live for this!"

"OTP!"

"I ship it!"

"Alright. Adam, lay on the floor and everyone act like he just died. I'll get their attention."

We all silently nod and get into position and wait quietly.

"*unholy screaming*OH MY GOD, HE'S NOT BREATHING!"

Everyone bursts into fake tears and crying.

"Seriously?!" I whisper shout.

"Shhhh. You're supposed to be dead." He whisper shouts back.

There is running down the halls.

"What's going on here?" Someone shouts from the hallway.

Takashi starts to sob actual tears. I can feel them spill onto my face he holds my 'dead body' in his arms.

"Adam, I'm sorry."

"What's wrong, Black Paladin." The guard asks.

"My fiancé, help me please! HES NOT BREATHING!" Takashi cries.

"Can you feel a pulse?" The Galran soldier asks.

I feel someone touch my wrist, then let go.

"No! Can you help him?" Lance sobs, thee realism is chilling.

The soldier does not respond for many moments.

"I...I'm not supposed to help prisoners." The soldier says weakly.

"PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU!" Takashi screams.

"I'm sorry. I can't help you." The soldier says, their voice shaking.

"What? NO! ADAM WAKE UP PLEASE!"

Takashi doesn't sound like she's acting.

It scares me.

"ADAM!"

I continue to lay back and hold still as everyone continues to act.

Allura screams in torture.

God everyone is great at acting.

There is the sound of rushing footsteps and keys. The lock is opened and someone rushed to my side.

I hold my breath.

"What happened to him?" The soldier says.

"He broke his back. The vertebrae, its shattered!" Takashi sobs.

"Let me see the wound. Maybe we can revive him." The Galran asks.

"NOW!" Keith shouts.

There is the sounds of scuffling and muffled choking.

I open my eyes to see Lance and Keith struggling to suffocate and hold the Galran down.

Pushing myself up with my hands I look at the soldier.

They are no older than the human equivalent of 16 and their eyes are filled with fear.

"Guys, stop!" I say.

"Adam, we need to get out of here!" Takashi forces.

"No, stop. Just hold them still."

Lance and Keith remove their hands from around the galran's neck and restrain them instead.

The Galran guard gasps for breath.

"Why *pant pant* did you do that?" They ask.

"Why did you try to help me?" I ask.

The Galran looks shocked and doesn't respond.

"Who are you?" I ask.

The young guard catches their breath and coughs before clearing their throat.

"I am Nachia, a Galran guard apprentice." She says still catching her breath.

Something tells wrong about what we are doing.

"Guys, we can't kill her."

"Why?! She is enslaving us!" Allura argues.

"She is too young! I will not let you kill her. She is innocent." I retort.

"You are the heartless and vicious Paladins the elders always speak about. Who destroyed the home of my ancestors, but why? Why are you sparing me?" Nachia asks as tears roll down her cheeks.

"We didn't destroy the home of your ancestors." Coran says gently. "We had to eradicate a rift on your planet."

"A rift? What rift? There was no rift!" Nachia cries, steadily becoming hysterical.

Everyone looks confused.

The story is still fresh in my mind.

"You are getting this wrong Nachia.  
There was a rift on your planet that was releasing dangerous quintessence into your atmosphere. There were dark creatures taking over. The Paladins of old had to eradicate the rift. The rift is what corrupted Zarkon and your people."

"Corrupted? Dark creatures? I've heard different."

Nachia begins to weep.

"Shhh, it's okay. We are not going to hurt you. We just want to escape."

"B-but if I let you escape, I will be executed! I can't let let them down! Not again!" she cries, beginning to shiver in Keith and Lance's grasp.

There is a collective gasp around the room.

I look at everyone, I see the guilt and fear for her in their eyes.

Slowly, I crawl closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

The small gesture seems to give her some form of comfort. Her crying eases slightly.

"Nachia, let us help you. Help us escape and come with us where you can be safe."

"But my people!" she whimpers.

"Shhh, it's alright. We know a group of Galrans on our side. The Blade of Mamora. You will be taken care of."

Nachia looks terrified, but something changes. A small look of determination sets in her expression .

"I will help you." She says standing up and reaching to her utility belt to a key ring.

One by one she unshackled us, the cool air reaching my irritated wrists.

Takashi bends down and carries me on his back and we escape.

We walk through the corridors taking note of the guard movements and time.

Tun left, wait two seconds, move for 20 feet, hide behind a wall, wait two seconds, keep moving.

The pattern repeats until we get to a ladder.

"We're going to have to climb up the ladder. Black Paladin, can you carry your fiance?" Nachia asks.

"Yes I can." I assure her.

She still looks scared, she constantly looks up and down the halls o avoid being caught.

Still holding onto Takashi with what body control I still have, we all ascend up the ladder about 100 feet.

As we climb, my back begins to hurt again. The spell must be wearing off. I hold in my groans of pain.

As we climb, Takashi's foot slips on a rung and jerks a little.

I inhale sharply at the sudden stitch of pain in my back.

"Adam, are you okay?" Takashi asks, the concern thick in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Forget me, we have to keep going."

"Adam, I sense that you are under an Altean numbing spell. Am I correct?" Nachia asks.

"Yeah, It must be wearing off."

"We have no time to loose. Once the spell wears off completely, you will be reduced to excruciating pain. Pain so unbearable you will rendered absolutely helpless. In order to put you under the spell again, the original spell must wear off completely."

"Oh shit!"

"Katie, language!"

"Sorry."

"How long to we have until the spell wears off?" I ask.

Nachia reaches down to touch my shoulder.

"You have about fifteen dobashes. The spell wears off slowly. Then with gathering speed. We must get to the top where we can put you in a soundproof room to muffle your screams and to hold you down."

"Hold him down!? Screams!?!?" Hunk cries in fear.

"Guys, forget about this. I will be fine. I've been through it before I can do it again."

"Adam, your selflessness is valiant but do not think this is going to be easy. The pain is unbearable. You will beg for death's mercy at the height of your torment just before passing out."

Another radiate of pain flares out from my back. I grip onto Takashi's shoulder just a little more.

"If you are so sensitive to the spell withdraw now, I can't imagine how you will handle the effects when It completely leaves your body." Coran says with a chill.

"Guys, let's not talk about this. I just want to get out of here and into a place where we can keep Adam under control." Takashi says, giving my wrist a reassuring squeeze.

"It's going to be alright. I'll be right there with you." Takashi promises.

Takashi carries me and we continue our way up the ladder as I hold in gasps of pain. The sensations of fiery pain making its way throughout my body.   
It's really bad that my pain tolorence is pretty low. If it were Takashi, he wouldn't be so weak. He would be stronger than me.   
He is stronger than me.

Always has been.

We continue our ascent up the ladder and we are just at the top when another stab of pain radiates from not just my lower back, but my arm as well.   
I look to my right arm to see a bandage I haven't noticed until now. The black fabric of the cloth reminds me of the under-suit of the Paladin armor.   
I look at Takashi's neck where part of the under-suit is ripped and exposes his skin.   
There are many deep but faded scars there.

I hug him just a little more.

"You okay?" He asks me.

"...yeah. I'm alright. Speaking of being okay, how are the rest of you guys doing?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"I was just asking how you guys are doing?" I repeat.

"Oh. I'm okay."

"Yeah."

"I'm fine."

"I'm alright."

"Sure."

Coran nods and Allura gives me a reassuring smile.

Before I can say anything, another wave hits my nerves.

I clap my hand over my mouth to muffle the soft groans that come out of my throat.

"We are almost there. Keep holding on." Nachia says.

So I keep holding on.

However the pain is speeding up.   
What was once a radiate of pain every now and then has bece a stitch in my back and arm every fifteen seconds.

"Hmmmg."

"It's okay. I'm right here."

"Hnnn!"

"We're almost there."

"How almost is almost?!" I have to force through my clenched jaw.

The pain is increasing and is now coming from my back, my arm, my sides, my neck, and my face.

"We're out. Nachia, where is the closest soundproof room?"

"Right here." Nachia motions to two sliding doors into what looks like a small medical station.

Takashi turns to the team but I shield my face from them, concealing the pained expression on my face.

"Can you all wait outside? Coran,  
Allura, Nachia and I have some gruesome work we need to do and I don't want you to see or hear anything."

"We got it."

"HMMM!"

I grab on harder, my nails digging into the armor and scratching it. Making a screeching noise.

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay. We're at the top. Everything will be fine."

I gasp for breath.

"How much time?"

"Ten minutes."

"Ten? Oh god this is going to be awful." I groan, resting my head on the cool material of Takashi's chestplate.

"Quick, get into the room. He will be making more noise before you know it."

Takashi carries me and lays me down on my side on a bench that Nachia pulls up.

"Eight to go. How are you doing?" Nachia asks.

"I don't know, why do you think?!" I force not to yell out.

Another wave of pain runs through my body. My back now aching and stinging all at once. It's like I'm being hit again and again in my back at a now five second interval.

I tense my shoulders painfully and I try to stifle a low moan of pain.

"I know it hurts, try to relax. Here, take my hand."

I take his hand in mine and will myself not to squeeze too hard.

"Seven minutes. Hold on Adam."

Suddenly a whole new wave of pain hits me. It's like being set aflame and being submerged in Ivey cold water all at once.

At this point I can't stifle my voice from crying out.

This distresses Takashi.

Keeping one hand in mine, he shifts to hold me closer to him.

He startled the bench, holding my left hand in his right hand and bring his left around me.  
His chest plate has been long discarded in a corner just so he could hold me closer to him.

The new radiation of misery runs throughout my body and it aches everywhere.

I feel a surge of tears coming on but I will myself not to be weak, but Takashi can see through me like glass.

"It's okay. No one can hear us. You can hold onto my hand and squeeze as hard as you need to. You can cry as much as you need to. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

The buildup of pressure in my chest blows over.  
Covering my face with my free hand I let out a shameful sob.

"Five minutes. Prepare yourself Black Paladin."

"Takashi!"

"I'm right here. I got you baby. I'm not leaving."

"Takashi!!!"

Takashi tried to do his part. He rubs my back gently but it doesn't help.

The miserable pain is coming at me at a constant rate, going up higher and higher.

I'm close to my limit. So very close.

I scream and Takashi hold me tighter, pulling me into him where I'm desperately searching for relief. Release.

"Four minutes."

I scream again, the tightens incinerating my throat.  
Incinerating my whole back and flaring out.  
Reaching my arms, what's left of my legs and reaching into my mind.

I can't think of anything.

All I know is I'm screaming for Takashi for over and over again even though he's right there.

Everyone's voices become distant and my feeling becomes numb with pain.

Sound echos in my head and it's hard to make out what they are saying.

I can't move. My whole body is crushed under the weight of it all.

I feel faint and sick under the crushing pain and pressure.

I threaten to drift out of consciousness but I fight to stay awake with everything I have.

Just when I think I might go under, a voice brings me back to reality.

"Adam, your doing so well. It's okay. It will be all over soon."

"KILL ME PLEASE! SOMEBODY, ANYBODY!"

My nails dig into skin and I grip on mindlessly.

"That's okay, do whatever you need to. You're doing so well baby."

"It's the last minute. Coran Allura, get ready!" Nachia orders.

I can't think of anything!

I just want someone to take me out of this!

Kill me if you need to!

Kill me!

Take me away from here!

I don't want to be here!

Takashi help me!

TAKASHI!

I CANT STAND THIS! ITS TOO MUCH!

TAKASHI!

TAKASHI PLEASE KILL ME!

I let out one last tortured scream before I feel cold hands touching my back.

The pain melts away slowly, then all at once in a receding bloody wave and takes away everything.

He only way to describe it is mercy on my soul.

I still grab onto Takashi with every bit of strength I still have, the aftershock of the pain still grasping me, but letting go gently.

I realize that he's crying too, and I've griped into his hand so tightly my nails have drawn blood.

I let go.

I don't fight it anymore.

I just let go.

I Sob shamelessly in his arms. I don't know what else to do.   
The pain is gone but it's effects are still with me.   
I sob and choke for air to release the tension and the stress.  
Takashi does't fight either.  
We have a breaking point and I think we both reached that.

He holds me lovingly and it calms me down. I get a sense of where I am again and what has happened.

"I'm so sorry you went though that. I with I could've taken it all away."

"It was worth it just to stay on this earth with you."

We have our moment together before composing ourselves and focusing on the present again.

I pull down my uniform jacket to hide the wound which has been bandaged.

"He didn't faint. He's stronger than I thought." A familiar voice says, mild with surprise.

I look up.

It's Krolia and Romelle!

"We got a distress signal from the rest of the Paladins. We had to get here immediately. I can guide you out of the ship and Romelle helped to make the numbing spell stronger. It will last until we can get to the Garrison."

"Thank you. Thank you all."

"Don't mention it, now get up and carry Adam. We have a ship waiting."

Takashi carries me out of the room with Nachia carrying his chest plate.

We all go to exit the ion to see the rest of the team outside.

"How much of that did you hear?" I ask them.

"Ummm."

"Uhhh,"

"You scream like a girl." Pidge says bluntly.

"Well, You would too." I retort.

"Ok, let's let this go. We need to escape. Krolia which way?"

"The air ship storage unit. We won't be caught." Krolia Says assuredly.

"Are you sure about that?" Says a ark voice from behind us.

Like a cliché movie, we all slowly turn around to see the source of the voice.

And this huge purple guy with fluffy ears and a robotic arm is standing, somewhat shrouded in shadow.

There is the click of a gun, and a bang.

And a scream.


	34. Light At The End Of The Dark

Shiro's POV

There is a click of a gun, a bang and a scream.

Nachia falls to the floor with a short shriek of pain as she grabs her arm.

A purple substance spurts out from the wound, what I assume is Galran blood and stains the floor a dark dark color.

"RUN!" Someone screams.

I'm carrying Adam, I have the love of my life to support and protect.

Not even thinking, I bolt the other direction and grab my chest plate which has been left on the floor next to Nachia.

Romelle grabs Nachia and pulls her along as we all escape.

Carrying the chest plate I look over to Nachia as we run.

She is suffering and groaning in Pain ad Romelle half supports half carries her.

Her damaged armor is going to have to be enough to protect her.

I hand the chest plate back to Adam.

"Hurry! Put this on!"

"But what about you?!"

"I have other armor on, you don't and your back is snapped in fucking two! Put it on NOW!"

Adam struggles to put it on.

In the frantic dash away from danger, the rest of the team and Nachia keeps forward but in close proximity to me. To protect Adam, Nachia and I.

Everyone holds up their shields, Allura readies her whip, Romelle has spear in one hand, Nachia does her best to steady her gun and Krolia readies a pistol and bears her claws, all ready to fight.

I stay in the middle and protect Adam and keep an eye on Nachia.

"Adam, you're good under pressure! Quick! Think of what to do!"

"FUCKING ESCAPE BITCH! GET TO THE AIR SHIP THING YOU SAID BEFORE!"

"Everyone on your left!"

In a collective unit we dash left as guards start jumping out from doors armed with their standard loaded guns.

"Nachia,you know this place. What do you suggest?"

"Keep running! Don't stop because the guards wont stop."

"That's good enough for me."

Keeping my vision forward I keep my eyes out for guards.

In no time they show up in waves.

As we run, lasers fly past me and ricochet off of shields.

There are sharp audible cracks as Allura slashes at the air with her whip and Krolia fires her pistol in back.

Directly in front, Lance and Keith work together to shoot the guards down at close and far range.

From the sides Pidge and Hunk shoot down and trip soldiers coming in from the right and left flanks.

Nachia guides the way, Romelle keeps charge of Adam's vitals and Coran... well, he's there for moral support.

But don't get me wrong! Its the best moral support.

A laser grazes my helmet and cracks the visor glass.

If it is hit again, the glass will shatter and it may cut into my eyes.

I continue but I keep my head ducked.

Down the halls we manage to take down at least a couple dozen guards as we go.   
The adrenaline in my blood forcing me to carry Adam and run to safety is running out.

My ability to perform under pressure is weakened.

Being awake for over 30 hours without regular food or water consumption is beginning to weaken my body.

I have no choice but to slow down my pace and conserve energy.

"Shiro! Hurry up!" Allura shouts at me.

"I'M TRYING!" I shout back.

"Do not pressure the Black Paladin. He is under extreme stress." Nachia shouts between us.

"What a fucking day!" I mutter under my breath as I continue to run.

Suddenly out of nowhere, what looks like a purple glowing whip comes at all of us.

Suddenly Sandek is in front of us and his new arm shifts into a whip like weapon with razor sharp blades attached to the flowing material.

I have nearly a second to duck down and shield Adam before the whip is brought down on all of us.

Upon the blinding contact there is an electrical shock as I take the worst of the blow.

I feel a familiar sting to my face, across the bridge of my nose.

Right over my scar.

My body becomes paralyzed in fear. The distant but familiar sting of pain brings to light something in the back of my mind. I can't move as my heart elevates dangerously high and i can't catch my breath.

I'm having a PTSD attack.

(Flash back)

"Matt, everything is going to be alright. I won't let anything bad happen to you." I say, holding him close.

God he is just a child. He shouldn't be going through this.

"Will we ever see home again? My sister, my family?!"

"I'm sure we will. Commander Holt, how are you holding up?"

I look to my left to see Sam huddled in a corner shivering in the cold.

"My wife...my daughter." he mutters to himself.

Matt shifts closer to him and wraps his arms around his father who holds on dearly.

They are both shaken up. They have a family to worry about.

I have a few people back home but I know the most important person probably hates me right now.

My stomach twists with guilt at what I've done.

He is probably finding someone new.  
Kissing someone new.  
Loving someone new.

Taking off the ring I promised to him and replacing it with someone else's.

A guard comes in through the door.

"Champion, you're up." He says gruffly, pulling me up by the arm.

"Stay safe!" Matt and Sam call from within the cell.

"I will." I call back before being thrust into a fighting ring, being handed a weapon and a small shield.

Here we go again.   
Another day, another round of agony to bear.

I can do this. No problem.

Right?

All around me is the cheer of Galran spectators. They scream

"CHAMPION, CHAMPION, CHAMPION, CHAMPION!!!!!"

Under the heat of the spotlight, there is a low growl.

My attention snaps forward as I see a lumbering beast headed my way.

Its bad attitude, brute strength and thirst for killing outmatches my own, but then again, I have no desire to kill. Only to survive.

This beast was made genetically to stop me. That's what they have been doing. Making freak of nature after blood thirst killer, making it bigger, stronger and smarter just to see if it will kill me.

I haven't died yet. I haven't lost yet.

Raising my weapon, I signal to accept the challenge and an uproar crashes throughout the ring growing rowdier and more violent with every second.

The beast seems to enjoy the attention of the crowd so I use that for my benefit.

Raising my weapon higher, the creature seems distracted by the roar of applause, then I lunge at the animal with my weapon.

Using all my body weight, I get closer to the animal.

I think I am about to make a fatal blow to it's head, but it moves.

Unlike the others, it's attention snaps back to me in an instant.

Its tail whips my way in an instant.

Things seem to move in slow motion as I begin to see red.

The sharp tail of the creature whips at my face and throws me back so hard I hit a wall and slump to the ground.

There is a collective gasp around the room.

I am in a short daze before I pick myself up.

My face has become wet with something and the metalic smell of blood becomes intoxicating.

I wipe at it with my hand but the blood won't go away. It keeps pouring down my face.

Then there is stinging pain on my face and my eyes water.

There is angry shouts from the crowd.

"GET UP CHAMPION! CLAIM YOUR TITLE!"

I stand up again and I throw myself at the creature again with my weapon at hand.

The tail slashes again and I dodge left, right, I duck, I jump, I do whatever it takes to remain alive.

The tail misses me and comes around again.

I bring my weapon up again and I brace myself.

There is the same force pushing me back but on contact there is a wounded bellow from the throat of the beast.

It stomps and the ground underneath me shakes.

The beast roars in agony.

I forget that all things have pain receptors and feelings in the end.

My eyes fill with tears as I climb to the top of the beast which has become something more to me. A creature put in a rink made to fight for its life. Just like me, but the only difference is there can only be one champion to survive around here.

At the top of the body, I find a soft undersell of the creature.

I close my eyes tightly, and bring the weapon swiftly down.

There is a tortured cry from the beast as the weapon pierces through soft flesh and purple spurts out of the wound and overs me in blood.

With one last effort its tail slashes at me one last time, cutting deep into my right arm reaching deep into the skin and shattering bone.

Pain shoots through my body like never before ad I fall and hit the ground. I cry out in pain, my own screams of agony joining the tortured cries of the creature.

Then I am the only one left that breathes.

The wound is so deep in my arm, Galran soldiers drag me off the field to the medical bay.

"Nice work champion."

They drag me off the field but I scream for someone.

Somo be I know who is far away and can't hear me.

I don't think they would even care about me at this point but I scream for them anyway.

"ADAM!"

ADAM .....Adam ..........adam.....................takashi.............................Takashi!

(End of flashback)

"Takashi!"

Someone is shaking me.

My senses awaken again and I am in a dark room.

"Wha? Wha's going on?" I slur, gaining my conscious again.

"Takashi, are you alright? You had another PTSD attack." Adam says, a pained expression on his face.

Adam is holding my wrists and my hands are shaking. I clench them to keep them steady.

"I, Yeah I'm okay. Where are we?"

"Take a guess, Takashi." Sandek says, mocking me using my given name.

Well that's new I decide.

"Finally, the paladins of Voltron are in my grasp once again. You shouldn't have ejected me from the castle of lions, oh but then again. You and your mental illness are weak."

"You shut the fuck up you bitch!" Adam shouts at him.

"What's up with this guy? Hes been calling me that for the past ten minutes."

"I know but once you start living with him you get used to it."

"It seems like you two have a close relationship. Finally, someone more important to you then the red one."

"Keith, don't listen to him. That's not true. You are all important to me!" I shout but Sandek covers my mouth with his hand.

I realize that i'm shacked again. This time to the floor.

"I'm no longer after the red one."

I scream but its muffled by Sandek's hand.

No one answers me.

I frantically look around to see everyone lined in a perfect row chained by their wrists, ankles and necks.

Allura, Romelle, Coran, Krolia, Hunk, Lance, Keith and Pidge are all incapacitated and slumped on the floor.

Chained next to Sandek is Nachia.

She is awake and shivering in fear.

Guards watch over here, keeping a knife close to the back of her neck, waiting for Sandek's word to execute her.

"You shouldn't have broken orders little girl."

Too afraid to speak Nachia looks down and dark tears stain the ground beneath her.

Sandek turns to me.

"I can execute her later. Now then, Takashi-"

"You have no right to call him by his name!" Adam shouts.

"Look at you! Being so bold. Alas, what would your stepmother think of you now?" Sandek says lowly.

Adam looks taken back.

How does he know this? HOW!? WHAT DOES HE KNOW!?!

"W-what? h-how?" Adam stammers, becoming weak.

The story about his mom is a very touchy subject. Even I don't ever bring it up.

"Of course I would know these things about you. After all, you are of good use to us."

"What?"

"The sorceress Haggar, her majesty has taken it upon herself to invest her time into studying you worthless humans. Stupid humans, but when I say stupid and worthless I don't mean you." Sandek says walking to Adam.

Sandek lets go from keeping my mouth shut.

"STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" I shout at the top of my lungs but guards rush to me and cover my mouth again.

I thrash but my efforts are useless. Every time I tug at the chains, they clasp tighter and tighter around me. If I keep it up, I'll suffocate.

"Stop me if you can. Now Adam, lets forget about everything but this one thing. You."

"ME?!"

"Exactly. Her majesty has taken interest to you. She finds you intriguing....interesting...curious."

Sandek drags his walk to circle Adam. The way he moves makes me more than uncomfortable.

"There is something in the way you move. Something in the way you speak. Something in the way your mind is set up. Admit it, you are brilliant. You obtain one of the highest IQ's of all humanity. Think of it. You envisioned the Atlas from when you were a child. You made all your dreams a reality. There is a driving force within you."

Adam looks completely terrified.

Nachia is paralyzed in fear.

"At the age of 16 you passed all your tests with perfect scores, you became the youngest top engineer in the world. You and your brilliant mind made dreams into reality. You made history all over the globe with your inventions, your creations, your theories. You are bigger than you think. You are just to humble to comprehend what magnificence your mind truly is!"

"Shut up! I'm just a regular person just like anyone else."

"Oh you are wrong. Very very wrong. What other human was able to pass the flight test at 14 and make history? What other human was able to create the most difficult flight obstacle course in all of military history? You are so much more. If only you could see what I see when I look at you."

I'm uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.

I look over to see that Adam feels the same way. He squirms in the shackles and winces.

"Take a look to the men and women on your right, then on your left. They are stupid beings. Backward minded idiots. Nachia here thought she could get away with disobeying orders."

The guards hold the knife so close to her neck that it touches her skin.

She whimpers.

"You are better then they are. You are superior. You are gifted."

"Don't play that sick mind game with me! I won't easily break! Hell, I WONT BREAK AT ALL!"

"Well then, lets see how you feel when the people you love are put in danger."

"No!"

Sandek forms his whip again.

He raises it up and brings it swiftly down on the incapacitated others, the whip crashing down on the perfect row of innocent people, the wail of the whip lashing in Nachia's direction.

They all jerk to consciousness with screams of terror and cries of agony.

"STOP THIS!" He cries, tears forming at the corners of his eyes and threatening to spill forth.

"What's got you so upset? They are only stupid beings. Lesser than you. You should be thankful they are going to be dealt with." Sandek growls

"I think I'm going to be sick!"

The rest of the team jerks back to life from the shock bearing bleeding wounds from where the whip crashed down on their bodies that scortched through their armor.

Nachia has a cut on her face. It will leave a jagged scar across her eye.

They lay shaking, traumatized, and delirious from the sudden shock.

Adam reaches out to them by Sandek gets in the way.

"Adam, your life's job is to eradicate ignorance. What if I told you I could let you do your job in payment of regaining full control of your body again? Your spine will be healed and fixed. All it takes is a simple task which you have been doing all your life."

Sandek holds out the whip for Adam to take.

"You can have your body back and more. Your name will tell the tale of legends! You will be glorified! Here, take it. Beat the people who hurt you into oblivion. Destroy everyone in your path! Think back to everyone who underestimated you, who put you second because you valued brains over brawn!"

Sandek takes a step closer to Adam.

"DON'T DO IT ADAM!" Nachia screams but her voice is cut off as the guards tug the chain around her neck back, cutting off the air flow and choking her.

Adam recoils back but Sandek places his hand around the back of Adam's neck and forces him to face him.

I scream and fight the chains alongside Nachia but they tighten around my neck suddenly.

I gasp for air.

"Adam, think back to every painful memory of those who hurt you and misjudged you. You can become even with the people who looked down upon you. All because of your race."

Adam chokes in a sob.

"Your sexuality!"

Tears stream down his face.

"Your family history!"

Adam tried to resist it.

"I know who you are."

Adam is loosing.

Adam is changing his fear and saddens into anger.

I can see the wild gleam in his hazel eyes, the green and purple mixing into an incinerating and toxic neon.

"I know what it means to be second when you rightfully deserve first place."

"Everything I worked for. I was overlooked." Adam says softly, but nonetheless his tone is stone cold.

Nachia's expression falls and my heart stops.

Is he actually considering this?

Adam, you have got to be kidding me!

"You can change that. Adam you can make it right! Stand up for yourself and you will be righteous!"

With a shaky hand, Adam takes the whip tentatively at first, then be becomes more confident in his movements.

"Go ahead. Do your job." Sandek implores.

"Takashi," Adam says lowly.

"Adam, honey what are you doing?"

Adam raises the whip slightly, an asuredness in his movements.

Everyone squirms in their places.

He knows what he is doing......he is aware he is putting all of us in danger!

"That's it Adam." Sandek encourages. "Just bring it down on them. Show them what you can do."

"What are you doing? Adam put it down. Put the whip down!" I say steadily.

"I am not a dog, Shiro!" Adam says coldly, his hazel eyes piercing through me in the purple light.

Everyone gasps.

Everyone knows that only Adam can call me Takashi, but for him to call me Shiro is a dangerous sign.

"Adam? What has gotten into you?!" Pidge shouts.

"What did we do to you?!"

"We're sorry!"

"DON'T HURT US!"

Everyone begins to cry.

"BABE, NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

"This is something I should've seen before! I was always held second to you, Takashi. They didn't care about me! None of you did! Well things change NOW!"

The shackles fall away from him as he extends his arm out, the whip ready to strike and kill me.

"Do it Adam! SHOW THEM WHO IS SUPERIOR!" Sandek yells.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

The whip is bough down and the last thing I see before shutting against fear is Adam's face. His expression full of contempt and blind rage as he slashes the whip down like a wild beast.

Like the enslaved animal from long ago. The animal that gave me my scar and took my arm.

It took many things from me.

Just like how Adam takes everything from me.

My sanity, my ability to focus, my desires.

He takes them from me and makes them better, bigger, louder.

But not this time.

I guess I'll be loosing my life to him.

I always knew at the end of my road was Adam.

I wait for the shock to hit me, but it doesn't come.

Instead, there is the sound of electricity and the sound of clashing metal on skin.

There is an enraged scream and a thud.

I open my eyes to see Sandek recoiling back, the whip's energy dying out as if it struck someone.

I look back to Adam, his wild hazel eyes ignited a ray of colors ranging from soft aqua to piercing green.

"You really don't know a thing about me! I would never hurt the people I love!" Adam growls fearlessly at Sandek.

"Then you truly are the idiot!" Sandek snarls.

Sandek rips the whip from Adam's grasp and brings it down in the direction of the others with all his strength and body weight.

In an instant they would be killed.

They duck and cover, their screams dying in their throats.

This could be it.

This could be the end for them.

Talent and bravery wasted away in a flash.

"NO!"

Adam reaches out to shield the others.

It seems as if many thing happen all at once!

There is a glowing light that flares out a brilliant white blue and the crack of the whip on a body.

But there is nothing more than the sounds of struggling and chains rattling together and Sandek's enraged cries as a swift wind kicks up.

The ground shakes like an earthquake and there is the crashing of waves in my ears.

A feeling of vibrant energy floods through my veins renewing my body and banishing the stress, torture and fatigue.

The blinding light swallows everything making it impossible to see anything and wind blows all around us like a hurricane!

There is the sounds of kicking and struggling and the breaking of metal over the wind and crashing waves of the sea.

There are no more tortured cries of pain or anguish.

The light comes to a steady dim but the shaking and ferocity of the air, waves, shaking and energy does not cease.

It grows stronger.

One by one, chains are being broken and my body is freed.

With their hands freed, I can barely make out everyone shielding their eyes from the blinding light in fear of the sudden whirlwind and sudden explosion of everything around us.

The light gives off a warmth, a pulsing, a living feel.

A feeling of calm after the storm, light at the end of the tunnel.

"Allura!" Coran yells over the sound of the rush of sudden elements.

"I know, Coran!" Allura shouts back.

"What is going on!?" Pidge shouts, suddenly alert.

"Whaaaaaat!? I can't hear!" Lance shouts

"It won't stop shaking!"Hunk exclaimed.

"Everyone, brace yourselves! The wind doesn't show signs of stopping!"

"EVERYONE CALM DOWN! I KNOW WHATS GOING ON!" Coran shouts.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" Nachia cries.

"I KNOW IT WILL MAKE NO SENSE TO YOU ALL BUT YOU NEED TO TRUST ME!"

"I TRUST YOU!!!" I shout over the commotion.

"THERE IS A SECRET HIDDEN FROM US ALL KEPT BY KING ALFOR!"

"A SECRET?"

"YES! THE SIXTH PALADIN!!"

"THIS IS A JOKE! THIS IS A JOKE RIGHT?"

"This is no joke. Adam is the Paladin we have been waiting for."


	35. Change In Morality

Shiro's POV

The light all around the room, the waves crashing in my ears, the ground shaking, the hurricane, the energy, it's almost too much!

But this is a joke.

This has got to be the biggest joke ever.

But it's happening right before my eyes.

The light consolidating into the figure of a man and glowing, illuminating Adam's soft skin and his piercing eyes.

A glowing aura of hope in the darkest of times.

This is real.

Adam's eyes glowing multicolored is real. Holding Sandek back with nothing to aid him but his own strength and will to fight back.

And the two legs he stands on planted to the ground firmly, not showing any signs of falling apart.

Its real!

He pushes against Sandek, light particles moving around him as if he were the sun and every small particle unit was a star or planet. Drawn into something greater than themselves.

Drawing into him as he winds his arm back for the first blow, pivoting on his back foot for the most momentum buildup.

Sandek isn't fast enough to block Adam as he absorbs the jab and cross to his shoulder and jaw and is thrown back with incredible force that no human being would ever produce.

But if Adam is suddenly glowing like this how human can he be?

Is he Altean or has my mind finally broken?

Is this a hallucination?

I look around to everyone staring at Adam.

"Keith, am I going crazy or am I going crazy?"

Before Keith can answer Adam whips around.

"Neither! NOW DON'T JUST SIT THERE! GET BACK IN FORMATION AND RUN!" Adam shouts at us, grabbing my arm.

In an instant, I stand up but I don't know how. Everyone just jumps up and runs for their lives again.

"Everyone, back into formation just like before. Coran, Takashi, take the middle. Krolia, Romelle, and Nachia take the back. Hunk and Katie, take the sides and Keith and Lance, you take either side of me. We have some lions to take back!"

Is this the same old Adam I know and love? Why has he changed so suddenly.

He is taking a forward role. I let him because I don't know what's real anymore.

We return back to formation. Krolia reloads her pistol, Romelle whips out her spear again, Nachia reloads her gun, Keith whips out his sword, Lance, his energy gun, Hunk, his cannon, Pidge, her grappling hook thing, and Adam forms something resembling a particle barrier.

This is madness. This can't be real.

But Adam is running well ahead of us, his shield pushing guards away or scaring them.

After pushing the worst of three waves back does Adam fall back to the unit.

"Guys, we need to get to the Airship harbor. Follow my lead!"

"How do you know the way?" Krolia asks, " Shiro, should we trust him?"

I throw my hands up.

"I don't fucking know what's real anymore so fuck it!"

"Cool it, We're almost there. It's through the gates ahead."

"Those gates are impermeable! We would need Keith to help us open them with his hand print or we could be trapped in!"

"Oh really?"

Adam's hands glow white blue and the particle barrier expands.

"Keep charging forward! We can't stop now! Everyone, together!"

"ADAM! THIS IS MADNESS! WE WILL DIE!" I shout at the top of my lungs over the ricocheting lasers.

"TRUST ME! I WILL PROTECT YOU GUYS!"

What is happening to you?

Adam looks over his shoulder to me.

He knows just what I'm thinking.

Adam holds his hand out to me and I accept it without hesitation.

He squeezes my hand reassuringly, never clasping on too tight but just enough to give me something, anything that is real!

His eyes are glowing the same mix of vibrant green, stony blue, and golden amber I fell in love with so long ago.

"Kashi, Its me. I'm still here."

His hand is warm in my cold one.

"I haven't gone anywhere. I need you to trust me. All of you, trust me. This won't work if one of us is even the slightest bit unsure."

I look around.

Everyone is too desperate to escape this hell to even care.

Do I even care anymore?

I start running faster to catch up with the group.

We get closer and closer to the guards at the gates, their spears pointed at us to kill us all. Soldiers come in with guns and other various weapons.

If we make one wrong move, we will be shot it a spear will go through our hearts, forever stopping our breath.

Adam's hands glow again and illuminate a particle barrier to push through the gates anyway.

The Paladins hold up their shields.

I pull up my shield as well.

100 feet away.

Can I do this? Can I live through this?

85 feet away.

What can I risk? My life? Everything?

65 feet away.

Is this worth it? Is this all really worth it?

45 feet away.

They're getting closer and closer to us as we get closer and closer to them.

25 feet away.

This madness! It's inescapable! This truly is life or death.

5 feet away from the gate, one foot away from the spears, and one inch from death.

I trust you Adam.

I choose to live.

With an explosion, the guard are pushed backward with incredible force. Spears fall to the floor clattering loudly, guns clash on armor with loud crashes, bodies are flung across the hall as if they meant nothing and we fight for our lives because we chose to live.

In the face of death we chose to live.

And that will always be our choice.

We burst into the air ship harbor where ships are lined in neat rows.

"Hunk, Lance, take out the ships. Pidge and Keith, guard their backs.  
Romelle, Krolia, Nachia, I need your protection. Allura and Coran, sense the lions and guide us to them. Takashi, things are about to get weirder, just hang in there."

We all nod.

I'm hanging on as best I can with what I got.

Allura and Coran try to get a sense of the lions.

"That way!"

They take down in a direction that seems totally random to me.

Past rows and rows of ships I get a glimps of the lions.

Even though they are only machines, they have been bolted to the ground and caged.

The closest lion to us is the yellow lion. It has been restrained the most.

Hunk reaches through the bars of the cage. His hand is only inches away from the lion but he doesn't need direct contact to wake up the spirit of the yellow lion.

But it doesn't wake up.

It stays cold and lifeless.

"Yellow isn't waking up!" Hunk cries.

"Here, Let me try something."

Adam squeezes himself through the bars of the cage.

He places his hand over the muzzle and pets the lion comfortingly.

The lion glows faintly in response.

"Come on Yellow, I know you can do this." He whispers softly.

The lion stirs faintly and lets out a low croon of what sounds like a sigh of fatigue.

I have never heard the lions ever make sounds other than roaring! And did Adam just talk to the lion?!

THE FUCK?!

"I know you're tired. Just work with us some more." He encourages.

The lion stirs some more and tries to stand up but the feet have been bolted to the ground.

Thick screws have pierced the paws of the lion, forcing them down and the cage is so small they can nearly move. In the cage they are chained and restricted around their necks.

They don't deserve to be treated this way.

The lion whines again.

"I know you still have fight in you. Show the others what you can do."

The lion tries again, forcing the right front paw up.

The screeching of bending metal rings out until the lion breaks free.

"That's it! Keep going!"

Pidge stands up and goes to the cage of her lion and squeezes through the bars as well.

She runs up and embraces the muzzle of the lion with arms open wide.

"You hear him! Don't give up! Show them what you are capable of!"

The Green lion's tail flicks up.

Lance and Keith get up. Their lions have been trapped in the same cage and are lain in a tangle together.

"Blue, Red, please get up! You are capable of so much! You can break free!"

The Red lion bolts up and fights the chains. The Blue lion starts gnawing at the chains with her sharp canines.

Sometimes I forget that these lions are more than just machines. They are beings too.

I go over to my lion which has been isolated in a dark corner.

I reach through the bars and rub the muzzle gently and affectionately.

I get a sense that the Lion is distraught, scared and confused. Just as I am.

The lion sounds a low tone, speaking to me gently like an old friend in need of comfort.

What's going on? Where am I? Why are they chaining me? I don't like this.

"I know, I know. I don't know what's going on either but we have to put our best foot, or paw forward. Please."

The lion cocks it's head to the side and whines softly.

But I can't move.

"I know but we can't stay here. You can break free. Okay?"

The lion begins to stand up, it's tail flicking up in the direction of the other lions.

I look over my shoulder to see the Yellow Lion emerging from the broken cage and bending down to Hunk to greet him.

The Green Lion has thrown the chains off and is breaking the metal bars of the cage with powerful force.

The Blue Lion is helping to free the Red Lion untangle itself from the chains and pull up the bolts in it's feet.

They work together with natural ease.

The Black Lion tries to stand up, pushing off on one paw, the bolt creaking under the pressure.

Suddenly the lion's head jolts up as If in alarm, the ears scanning the room for sound waves.

The Galra are coming! Tell the glowing one they are almost here!

I bolt to Adam as the sounds of hundreds of footfalls can be heard coming through the halls headed to us.

Before I can say anything, Adam speaks before I do.

"I already know. Everyone, get behind me and brace yourselves!"

We huddle behind Adam and guard the Black Lion.

The already destroyed gates to the airship harbor are flung back at us as wave upon wave of soldiers, archers, snipers, and executers line up behind Sandek.

"You have no where to run! Don't think I will go down so easily."

Sandek is brandishing a whiplash wound across his face. It is bleeding faintly and there is purple blood staining his hands and armor.

"Then don't think we'll go down at all!" Adam shouts defiantly.

He is covered in blood as well.

Its a standoff of the brave. Of the champion.

On the upper levels of the airship harbor, archers line in wait, their crossbows at the ready. Snipers conceal themselves on high perches, ready to take the shot that kills anyone of us at any moment. Soldiers prepare to blow us away with a thousand lasers. Sandek is ready to give the signal to any one of these groups and watch us all crumple and die at his feet.

Adam is well aware of this, of the risk we run.

But he isn't going down without a fight.

With Adam, its either go big or die remembered.

"You cannot escape! I'm giving you this last chance Adam. Choose to live and you will be revered all throughout the universe, or perish at my hand!"

"I will never forsaken the people I love and I will never choose to torture others! Ignorance and bigotry can be corrected. I don't think you fully realize that."

"The stupid and weak have no place in this world!"

"Dan dan jouzu ni natte kuru yo. You will get better as time goes by. You don't start out being the best, the strongest or the smartest. You learn and work to get there. And that's the Galra's problem. You as a people have made huge wrongs and mistakes and you blame others for them but you never learn anything. If anyone is weak and stupid it is you all!"

There is a collective gasp around the room.

"How dare you!?"

There is the sounds of loading guns, growls, claws scraping the floors and walls around us.

We all flinch and hide behind Adam but he stands his ground.

He isn't finished.

"I challenge you to try and self reflect and change for the better. Change can start with you. As a model of leadership to the Galra you can make a difference. I challenge you to learn from past mistakes and wrongs and choose to make things right."

The Galra growl in response, ferociously bearing canines and claws. They are not accepting the challenge.

Adam speaks again, but with a softer more compassionate tone.

He is trying to reach out to the Galra and make peace, something no one has ever dared to do.

"Its okay not to take the challenge. I used to be like you all. For many years I was in a bad position internally."

The galra fall silent to listen.

"All my life I felt like I was being rejected. And you said it yourself Sandek. I'm different. I don't think like most people, people label me because of what I look like, of who I choose to love, and what I've chosen to be."

Many soldier's put down their guns and relax and listen to Adam's calm voice.

"Person after person, they pushed me out because of those reasons. At the time I tried to deny who I was. I tried going along with the bigoted people around me. I only hated myself and became uncomfortable in my own skin. I became aggressive, angry and I isolated myself because I didn't know how to react. I became something I never wanted to be."

An expression crosses the Galrans faces. Mixes of understanding empathy and sadness.

"I pay the price of my actions to this day. My reputation follows me now, I always have this fear in the back of my mind that someone will stab me in the back, and I am naturally a negative person. But I'm overcoming that because I'm choosing to see the good in those people and see that their opinions don't have to affect me. I'm learning to find peace within myself and the people I used to hate. Its making all the difference for me. Now reflect on yourselves. Does this story sound familiar?"

Many Galrans look shocked and taken back.

"What I said earlier about you being the stupid ones. That isn't true. I'm sorry I said that. That was my mistake, not yours."

Galrans gasp around us. Many drop their weapons. They fall clattering to the ground as they hold their hands over their heart in shock.

"You aren't stupid. You all as a race are vary ambitious, resilient, and very capable of understanding what I am trying to convey to you all. For a millennia you have set out a conquest to be the strongest in all the corners of the universe through all realities. Your desire is understandable, but you can only do that when you drop your weapons and forgive your enemies and accept your mistakes and wrongs and make them right. If I put down my weapons, offered you my forgiveness and gave you a chance to set things right,"

Adam steps forward and extends his hand out to Sandek.

"Would you do it?"

Everyone looks to Sandek for an answer.

"Take your time, you can think about this."

"But what about Zarkon's orders?" Sandek says, his voice sounding small.

The soldiers recoil back, appalled and ashamed by their leader's actions.

"Forget Zarkon. This is about you."

Sandek looks around the room, looking for some sort of answer.

But he can't decide for himself. Only for the good of his people.

"I don't know." He admits.

The galrans around him start shouting again, a mix of emotions. anger, fear mistrust and confusion.

"Everyone, I ask that you do nothing to influence his answer. And Sandek, it's okay not to know. I'm not asking for a clear cut answer right now but take in mind what you want. Would you end this war if you could?"

Sandek nods.

Suddenly his eyes change color, they stop glowing yellow and his irises can be seen.

They are a deep shade of lapis.

Something about him changes, the menacing aura begins to fade and is replaced with something more...

Innocent.

"I would do anything to end this war.   
To see my family again."

Sandek's voice has changed, his tone is softer and less gruff.  
It's as if he is shaking off a spell he was under.

"Then let's end this war."

Sandek extends his hand out to Adam, the robotic arm shifting to something less threatening.

It shifts into what looks more like a prosthetic than a weapon.

Just as their hands are about to meet, a shock is sent through Sandek's arm.

Sandek's arm rapidly switches back to being a weapon and spazzes.

"His arm, it's being controlled!" Adam shouts.

Sandek's eyes glow once more and he becomes a killing machine again.

"Kill them!" He commands.

"Don't shoot! Your leader is under influence!"

"KILL THE PALADINS!"

"Stop, think if this is right or not!!"

The soldiers go back and forth between the two possibilities.

"Forget the consequences! Forget Zarkon's reign! If he had no power over you, what would you choose?"

Sandek struggles on the ground, his eyes switching from glowing yellow to being his natural blue, his arm constantly changing to being a prosthetic, to a weapon and back again.

"Run...escape! NO, DONT LISTEN!  
Stop controlling me! YOU HAVE NO POWER!"

Sandek seems to fight himself, his mentality switches back and forth as he struggles.

The galrans are at a loss of what to do. They watch in horror.

"I AM IN CONTROL OF MY OWN SELF!" Sandek screams.

Sandek raises his weapon,

To his head.

"Run. Get out of here." He grunts, struggling to maintain his true conscious.

"Sandek no!" Adam cries, pulling the gun away, but it's too late.

The trigger is pulled and a deathly bang echoed through the hall.

Sandek crumples to the floor,

He is finally at peace.


	36. The Great Escape Take Two

Takashi's POV.

Sandek crumples to the floor

lifeless.

There are screams of horror around the airship harbor as they stare at his body.

His skin and fur that was once purple fades and frains from his body leaving behind a deathly ash hue. His yellow glowing eyes fading into the brilliant blue.

Adam tries to shield Hunk's, Pidge's and Lance's view of Sandek's lifeless body.

"He killed Sandek!" someone shouts.

There are angry shouts from the Galran soldiers.

Mayhem is rising, soldiers ready their weapons again.

We all press in as close as we can, squirming uncomfortably.

"Guys, calm down! This is a misunderstanding! He was being controlled! Did you see his eyes change color?"

A second in command speaks up among the riot.

"He was being punished by Zarkon for disobeying orders! He killed himself rather than follow our great emperor! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU KILLED COMMANDER SANDEK! CHARGE!"

There is enraged screams and unholy war cries as soldiers raise their weapons and charge at us with all their speed and force.

Arrows are being shot and lasers fire all around us.

Adam's particle barrier expands in a perfect sphere all around us and is big enough for us to have room inside.

The soldiers charge and make contact with the barrier but it's impermeable surface holds them back.

They push on all sides of us, forcing the barrier to shrink.

I look over to Adam. He is straining against the pushing of the soldiers.

Quickly, I look around through the surface of the barrier.

A control panel! If we open it, we will be sucked out and can escape!

"Guys, get to the control panel on the side! I have an idea!" I shout over the pounding on the particle barrier.

"Make it quick! I can't hold this up for much longer!" Adam winces.

"Bring the barrier to the panel!"

Adam pushes the outside of the barrier to the control panel, straining even more.

"Wait, we would have to break the shield to push the button!" Pidge shouts over the chaos.

"Shit, I forgot!"

"Shields up everyone, things are about to get real!"

"NO! DON'T PUT DOWN THE BRRIER!"

"Nachia, We have no choice! Keep your shield up and you will be okay."

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?! WE'LL BE SUCKED OUT OF HERE AND THROWN INTO A FREE FALL!"

"Exactly. Everyone when I push the button on the panel, the wall keeping the ships in will disintegrate and we will all be sucked out and into a free fall! Stay close to us. Choose someone to take you in a lion to the Garrison!"

"NO! I'M NOT READY FOR THIS!" She cries.

"Nachia, you will be okay. Get behind me."

Nachia scurries behind Adam.

"I have no choice. Keith, the moment the barrier falls you press that button! Got it?"

"Yeah!"

The pounding on the barrier becomes fiercer and the barrier cracks.

"Wait for my signal."

We all wait, our shields drawn in one hand and our weapons in the other, ready to strike out at any moment.

"NOW!"

The barrier falls and solders come crashing in, their spears pointed at as and their guns in our faces.

I raise my shield to deflect lasers and spear stabs coming my way.

Keith presses the button and I am swept off my feet.

In an instant, the airship harbor turns into rushing wind in my ears and the blinding rays of the sun burning down on me over the shifting horizon.

We have been fighting this battle for seven hours now.

Everything is in constant motion around me as I tumble out of the sky with no control.

Everything whipping past me so fast I can't steady myself or hope to stop everything from spiraling around me.

I push against something and I flatten my body against it, finally I stop spinning and I look around frantically to see it is going on.

The lions have been freed and swept out with us and I am pushed under with falling weight of the yellow lion.

I look around to see falling soldiers screaming for help, my team struggling in the air to hold them off, the lions falling and spiraling out of control and my lion wrapped in chains and thrashing in the air wildly.

In the far distance, I see Adam throwing soldiers off of him and pushing them away, fighting for his life in the free fall, glowing under the blinding light of the sun.

I push off of the Yellow Lion and hold up my shield, pushing off pieces of debris and making my way to him.

Looking down I see the wide open desert under us, rushing closer and closer.

"Adam! How long to we have before we hit the ground?!" I scream over the wind.

"Fifteen minutes! Get in your lion!"

"My lion is tangled in the chains. We need to set it free!"

"Tell the others over the helmet radio. I'll see if I can get the lions to help as well!"

I nod back.

We split off pushing off of falling debris as we get to the lions.

With as little of a single brush of his hand, Adam touches the lion and each of them jolt back to life, steadying themselves in the fall.

The first lions to respond is the Blue and Red Lions who work together effortlessly and start gnawing on the thick chains around the Black Lion's neck.

Working to clear guards away from around the lions, the team gathers around the lion and fights off the Galra surrounding us but we are nearly useless.

Luckily, the Galra are just as useless.

Bullets fly in the wrong directions as they can't steady themselves, spears are thrown but start to fall and hover as they slowly spin off course. Snipers are god useless and so are we.

Lance and Hunk can't steady their arms as they aim, Keith can't steady himself to control his body to fight, Pidge's grappling hook will only hover, and Allura's whip isn't strong enough to fight the rushing air around us.

We fight and thrash in the air as soldier and soldier struggle to choke us, hit us, kick, pinch and bite but we are just as fierce.

I kick a soldier away from me but hurt as I feel a hand on my shoulder, I reach around and swing the Galran soldier out from behind me and I throw them forward with the momentum buildup, causing them to crash into other soldiers headed my way.

Over the screaming wind is the occasional snap of chains as the lion tries to free itself.

"SHIT!"

There is a faint sound of snapping and broken glass.

I maneuver in the air as best I can to see Adam spiraling out of control limply in the air and droplets of blood falling around him.

"Is the spell wearing off again?!"

There is no answer.

"ADAM!"

I reach out to him extending my arm out as far as I can but he is too far away and he is unresponsive.

I notice the lions have fallen asleep once more. Their eyes going dark and they hang limp.

Allura uses her whip to grasp onto Adam's wrist gently and pull him in while we all hold our shield out to protect him once more.

HOW FUCKING SHITTY CAN THIS DAY GET?!

I pull him to me to see that he is fighting for consciousness and the gash on his right temple has been reopened and is bleeding out again and staining his hair a deep scarlet.

He must've hit his head on a piece of debris and almost got knocked out!

Looking at his face I notice looks slightly different, I can see his eyes a little clearer. Then it hits me that his glasses are missing.

He won't be able to see anything at all without them his vision is so awful. Then he will panic because he isn't on solid ground. But I have limited options here.

I shake him to wake him up but he stirs only slightly and mumbles something.

I can't stand this! If you're going to be alive, just stay faking conscious!

"WAKE UP!" I shout at him and smack him across the face.

Adam jolts awake again with a girlish scream.

"Takashi what the- HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Adam you need to do the thing again and wake up the lions! Or power them up! Whatever it was you were doing!" I shout at him.

"THE WHAT?!"

Adam looks around spastically and clings onto me like a koala. I push him off me to grab his shoulders and snap him back to reality.

"THE THING!!"

"WHAT THING?! HOW DID WE GET HERE?!?! I CAN'T SEE SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK, BITCH!"

"WAKE UP THE LIONS!"

"THEY ARE MACHINES YOU BAKA!"

Does he not remember anything?! Holy shit this is bad! This is really bad!

I push off debris and go to the yellow lion while still grasping onto Adam.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! HOW THE FUCK?! WHERE THE FUCK?! WHOM THE FUCK?! WHEN THE FUCK?! JUST WHAT THE FUCK?!"

I pull Adam with me to the yellow lion and place my hand and his over its muzzle.

"BITCH WAKE UP!" I command.

The lion's eyes glow faintly, it turns the other way and falls dark again.

"So you're going to ignore me, huh? DO YOU WANT HUNK TO DIE?!"

The lion flinches and awakens again, it's eyes glowing fiercely and the ears perk up and full function is restored to the lion.

Immediatley the Yellow lion gets to work, nudging the other lions and getting them to wake up. With a few exchanged murmurs and low tones of converse, the lions all agree to give escaping one more shot. They go back to freeing the black lion.

"TAKASHI I CAN'T SEE! WHERE ARE MY GLASSES?!"

"WHILE YOU WERE FALLING YOU HIT YOUR HEAD AND BROKE YOUR GLASSES ON DEBRIS! I THINK YOU HAVE AMNESIA!"

"WE ARE FALLING?!"

"DD YOU NOT NOTICE?!"

Adam screams again and crutches back onto me in fear.

God he is such a child sometimes.

Without thinking, I remove my helmet and roughly put it on his head.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Hold on a moment!"

Adjusting the helmet on his head I press the reset button on the side of the helmet.

Instantly, the Helmet changes shape to fit Adam perfectly and the visor glass thickens to fit his prescription.

The helmet color still stays black and white but until it is reset to fit me again, the helmet belongs to him.

"Can you see now?"

"Yeah!"

He is calmer now that his vision is restored. Wearing the helmet again, Adam's eyes start to glow white blue once more, his power is kicking in again and his attitude changes once more and resumes the position he held not too long ago.

"Everyone get into to the lions!" Adam commands.

We all maneuver in the falling air again, pushing of debris, pushing of one another and Galran soldiers to climb inside the lions again.

The lions finally break the chain around the Black lion and throw it off in the direction of the Galran soldiers, trapping them together. Each lion one by one maneuvers in the air and reaches out to their paladin.

Now I can finally get to my lion.

I stretch my arm out as far as I can, gently brushing the metal with my hand I grab on tightly and push the heavy jaws apart and climb inside with Adam close behind me.

We run back into the throat where the mouth becomes the corridors to the inner chamber then to the cockpit where we head to the pilot cabin again.

Going back into the pilot cabin many lights and systems refuse to reboot.

Adam: "It's the lion's conserving their energy. They will be completely out by the time we get to the Garrison." 

Allura: "Is there anything we can do to try and make it easier for the lions?"

Adam: "Dump out any unnecessary items. Sort through the crates. Take only what you absolutely need."

Pidge: "No! I can't!"

Lance: "Pidge, the space tech you collect is too much. We need to conserve energy for the lions."

Adam: "And I hate to say this but eject the Green Lion back shield. Everyone else, decide what is necessary to keep. I'm sorry but that is the way it is."

There are various groans of protest over the radio chats but I leave it to Adam.

"Watch the lion for me. I'll be right back." I say, getting up and picking up a crate and heading to the mouth of the lion. 

"Sure."

One by one I toss all the crates out of the lion, watching the contents spill out and fall through the air scattering to the ground far below along with everyone's belongings they've decided to discard. 

From my view the Green Lion's shield comes tumbling down and hits the dusty desert ground kicking up a ring of sand then settling down. It's brilliant green, black and gold symbol of strength never to be found again.

I know that Lance and Keith are going to keep their jackets. Pidge is going to salvage her computer, Hunk will want to keep a cookbook of aliean cuisine he has been writing, Allura her crown, Romelle her spear, and Coran will keep the diamond left from the castle of lions. 

There isn't a thing I decide to keep. So I watch everything come tumbling down, and then I pull the Lion's jaws shut.

I get back to Adam quickly.

"Looks like you didn't salvage anything. What was in those crates anyway?"

"Honestly, they were pictures and rolls of film from a camera I bough at a space mall. In those crates were hundreds of polaroid's." 

"You're such a hipster. And you didn't save anything?" He asks me in mild surprise.

"Nope. I already have everything I want." 

Adam gives me a small smile.

Our hands slowly intertwine under the dashboard.

"So I finally get it when you mean you can't catch a break." Adam says quietly, steering the lion back to the Garrison.

I groan and lean back in the pilot chair and close my eyes, a wave of fatigue rushing over me.

"Never. I have got to draw the line somewhere. Even after overcoming my illness I'm still wearing my body down." 

"You get to rest now." Adam assures me, brushing his thumb over my hand comfortingly.

"Just try to sleep. We'll be back at the Garrison before you know it."


	37. Impossible

(Here is a filler chapter to lighten the mood. It's mostly dialogue so there isn't a specific POV in mind here)

Adam: "Is everyone okay."

There is no clear answer among the Paladins. Mostly it is grief stricken mumbling with a few no's and maybes.

Adam: "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I can't believe this war is this vicious."

Hunk: "It used to be better. We used to see a clear win but now..."

Lance: "The odds are stronger against us now. There is more people, more lives to risk, more horrors to see. The end isn't clear anymore. Nothing is really."

The team falls silent for awhile until Nachia speaks up.

Nachia: "Where is the Black Paladin?"

Adam: "Takashi? He's asleep."

Nachia: "He needs rest. Badly! He has lost a tremendous amount of quintessence."

Allura: "I know. I can feel it."

Nachia: "He is near collapse. It is good he is asleep."

Keith: "You can loose quintessence?"

Coran: "Yes, it is possible but it is rare. It happens under extreme stress. It's obvious that Shiro has been put through incomprehendable stress. If he looses to much his body will shut down then he will die."

There is a icy cold shudder from everyone.

Romelle: "Just about all of you have lost quintessence but Shiro has lost the most. He has 30% of his original quintessence left. All of you have about 50% left."

Allura: "Quintessence can replenish naturally by itself but only after years and years of time. By the time Shiro's quintessence fully replenishes, he will be long dead. The other way is through transfer between individuals."

Adam: "Romelle, Nachia and I, we can provide quintessence, right? We can transfer some of ours to you."

Allura: "No. You have to be a skilled alchemist to do this and possess traits found in Altean DNA. I would give you mine but I am far too weak to do this. Maybe Romelle will one day be able to transfer quintessence but Nachia and Adam, you will never be able to do this on your own."

Keith: "But did you see what happened? Adam, your spine is broken, you were on the brink of dying! How is it that you can walk and have all these powers? YOU FUCKING BROKE SANDEK!"

Adam: "I, I'm not sure."

Coran: "Adam, you are the secret paladin. Somehow the universe chose you to be the most powerful thing in all of existence! That is why."

Adam: "I have a hard time believing that. I love chaos but there needs to be some sort of order and explanation for this. This isn't sorcery. This is science and I can't wrap my head around this concept that I am the answer to all the world's problems."

There is dead silence on all the lines.

Adam: "What?"

Nachia : "In the words of the red Paladin, YOU BROKE SANDEK! You defied all the odds against you, you escaped death, you can walk! Think about all that Sandek said. You are brilliant, talented and imaginative. Now have quintessential powers and you are obviously looking for a way to end this war peacefully. You can help us all!"

Adam: "I'm not special. Sure I've done some great things but that doesn't matter. I am not some quintessential being. I was raised like any other human. I'm ordinary. I don't understand where I got these quintessential powers so I can't be the person you are looking for. Maybe it was something the lions did but this is impossible."

Allura: "I have to agree with Adam. I have seen some incredible things from ordinary humans. Shiro has done some amazing things but never anything like this."

Krolia: "And most of it was because of his Galran prosthetic arm."

Coran: "If you aren't the paladin we are looking for, then who are you?"

No one talks for a long time. Adam sits and thinks about that answer but he comes up with nothing.

Adam: "You know I can't answer that question."

Coran: "Please, give us a reason, any reason why you should be the sixth paladin."

Nachia: "You don't need him to say anything. You saw it!"

Coran: "Then that means Adam is not human."

Adam: "Last time I checked I'm pretty sure I'm human."

Keith: "That's what I though but turns out I'm half alien."

Coran: "Adam, who are your parents?"

Keith: "Coran! You can't blurt that out like that!"

Coran: "Where are you from?"

Everyone begins talking over one another growing louder and louder. Questions thrown out here and there and scolding. It gets to be a little much.

Hunk: "Guys, slow down! This is all too much to think about at once. Just slow down."

Pidge: "Hunk is right. One at a time."

Lance: "Coran, you obviously seem to have lots of questions. You should go first. Right Adam?"

Adam: "Yeah. Ask away."

Coran: "Do you know your parents? Tell us what you know about them!"

Adam sighs, things weighing on his mind.

Adam: "I know my father really well. He was born and raised in Saudi Arabia untill 18. That's when he joined the Garrison to become an engineer like me at the one of the Galaxy Garrison Universal Extension Bases in Saudi Arabia. He studied abroad in Brazil until there were complications in Brazil. He became a refugee in America untill he could be transferred to The Galaxy Garrison main base where he worked and retired only 12 years ago. He's who I got my humor and intelligence from."

Coran: "And your mother?"

Adam pauses for a moment.

Adam: "Which one? My step mom or my biological mom?"

Coran: "Biological mother."

There is another short silence.

Adam: "....I don't know who she is....I never met her. I don't know much about her."

There are scattered gasps and murmuring. Adam shrinks back in his chair. This is the past he represses and chooses to ignore. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt him.

Lance: "She could be Altean! You could be Altean!"

Adam: "I find that highly unlikely."

Coran: "May I ask why you don't know her?"

Adam: "She died."

Coran: "Did you know her at all? Did your timelines ever coexist?"

Adam: "If they ever did, it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. Can we just drop this subject? I am not the person you are looking for okay?"

Coran: "There has to be something! Anything that gave you the title you are too humble to admit to. I'm not letting King Alfor or Altea down! We need you to accept that you are the sixth Paladin!"

Adam: "I cannot accept that role until there is proof! We don't even know what is going on anymore! We have no sights to the end of this. God this is just too confusing!"

Coran: "I can't accept that as an answer. The fate of this war is in your hands!"

Adam: "Just because your king gave you orders doesn't mean you can label an unknown event as a reason I am some powerful thing that can fix this war! I'm not and that's the end of this conversation. There is nothing than makes me any different from any other human alive."

Coran: "Then explain to me what happened to you?"

Adam: "...I'm not sure. I will not accept the title as the sixth Paladin. However, I will work with you to get to the bottom of what happened. And don't call me a Paladin. Don't call me a whatever. We're just finding out what happened. That's it."

Coran: "I'll settle for than. But if we do find proof then-"

Adam: "Yes. If we find proof. But don't expect to find anything. Besides, human tech isn't meant to find quintessential beings."

Allura: "Just use ours. They are back at the Garrison."

Hunk: "Wait, how damaged is the Garrison? What if the place was destroyed?"

Pidge: "I'm sure it's nothing the Garrison can handle."

Adam: "Hopefully. I wonder if they called in the universal extension bases from around the world."

Keith: "How many are there?"

Adam: "Just about one in each country."

Coran: "Would there be any family members from-"

Adam: "Coran, I am going to loose it if you don't drop this subject right now. I don't know who my family is besides my dad and brother. Okay? I have little extended family so don't ask about them either."

Everyone shut their mouths immediately.

Adam: "This Paladin should be your least concern. I'm just trying to hold off this war you all brought home!"

The Black lion swerves slightly. The power running out.

Allura: "The Black Lion is loosin-"

Adam: "I know that! Jesus Christ I can't do this anymore. I'm getting Takashi."

Nachia: "No! You need to let him rest and regain his strength."

Adam: "Well so do I. If this Paladin is so noble, level headed, unflawed and so worthy of praise and honor then that will never be me. I'm not perfect like that. All I do is create chaos and ruin around me, so don't look to me for something good to happen because it won't. Now I'm getting Takashi to deal with this because I can't!"

Adam gets up out of his seat and goes over to Takashi who is sleeping against a wall.

He hasn't gotten any more than 30 minutes of sleep.

Adam watches him snore softly for a moment, his face falling into a peaceful calm expression.   
It isn't enough and Adam knows it.  
It will take at least a good 12 hours for him to feel well rested.

Adam stands over Takashi and decides to let him rest.

Adam: "I change my mind. I'll let him rest untill we get back to the Garrison but don't you ever bring this subject up again. I don't want to talk about my family. There is nothing to say about them. I am not your sixth paladin. I'm not perfect."

Coran: "Who said the sixth paladin had to be perfect?"

Adam: "Coran!"

Everyone shut up for a moment, going stiff. They didn't dare to say anything after that. 

Everyone begins to fiddle around uncomfortably.

The silence was becoming unbearable for Adam.

He had pushed people away from him again and he would be alone.   
But he's not making the same mistake twice.

Adam: "Guys, I'm sorry I lashed out like that. I shouldn't have done that, but I want you to understand that I can't be the person you're looking for. Of course I'll help you look, I'll let you test me but I want you guys to be prepared when the signs say I'm not who you want."

Allura: "Why are so quick to say that?"

Adam: "Because I'm a pessimist. I can't do anything."

Nacha: "I find that hard to believe. For someone who has broken records along side the Black Paladin you should be confident and optimistic."

Adam: "That was who I used to be. I'm not like that anymore. The Garrison staff doesn't even like me anymore and I can't break records. Not without..."

Adam looks up and looks over his shoulder to Takahshi again. This time Takashi is sprawled in the floor snoring softly.

Adam turns back to the screen.

Pidge: "Adam, when I attended a shadow day at the Garrison, I remembered walking down the records hall and finding your name written on just about every plaque."

Lance: "I do too! Your name was next to Shiro's just about every time. Hunk even fangirled when we found out you'd be teaching our class."

Hunk: "It's true."

Adam: "Okok, I get the sentiment-"

Adam is blushing slightly. He isn't so used to compliments but then Keith changes the meaning of it all.

Keith: "You took me in. When I had no one. You and Shiro."

Everyone stops to listen again.

Keith: "You and Shiro were my role models, I learned just about everything from you two. You were a big deal at the Garrison and you still are. You're funny, you're smart. Kids actually payed attention in your class. You made engineering fun. Everyone looked up to you."

Adam: "But they don't anymore. I'm nothing with out Takashi."

Keith: "You never had to have Shiro next to you to be strong. You don't need him to be worthy. You are already worthy."

Adam: "Thanks Keith."

He doesn't sound like he believes it.

Whats going on with him? A lack of confidence? A loss of self? I denial of self? Whatever it is Adam has grown up with it. All his life.

Pidge: "Are we getting close to the Garrison?"

The lions hum tones of fatigue.

Adam: "We should be coming within sights. We all can rest soon. Lions included."

Hunk: "I think I see it on the horizon, but it's too far away to make out anything more than a speck."

Adam: "Don't use the lion's vision to zoom in on any visuals. We are almost out of power."

Romelle: "What will we say when we get back? What will we do?"

Everyone looks to each other for an answer but no one can say anything. They exchange looks of fear.

Adam: "I don't know but everyone is going to look for Takashi for an explanation. He will be the one held responsible."

Coran: "And you?"

Adam: "To them I'm just an extra that got caught up in the current. We'll just have to wait and see what happens."

As they keep their eyes forward, things on the horizon become clearer. There is a haze of ash surrounding the Garrison and ships hovering around the main building.

Nachia: "Is anyone else getting a bad feeling from what I'm seeing."

Everyone mumbles in agreement. They starts talking about what could've happened. An attack? An invasion? A raid? An accident? 

Krolia: "Guys, that isn't the main building of the Garrison. In fact there is no main building anymore."

Allura: "What do you mean that isn't the main building anymore?"

Adam: "She is right. That is the broken pieces of the...oh GOD NO!"

Everyone: "What?"

Adam: "Nononono this is all my fault!"

Everyone: "What is?"

Adam: "The Atlas! When it was hit!

Keith: "What about it? It could've have been 500 miles off the ground during the explosion."

Adam: "YEAH! HOVERING ABOVE THE MAIN BUILDING! 

 

GUYS I FUCKING DESTROYED THE GALAXY GARRISON!"


	38. A Bitter Restart

Takashi's POV

The last thing I remember...what was it? Ugh my head hurts. I think I fell asleep in the Black Lion. How long have I been out? Where am I?

I struggle to open my eyes.

Where am I?

I struggle to move but It feels like my body has been weighed down by anchors. Everything aches.

Is there a needle in my arm? Why do I hear a heart monitor?

I can't even open my eyes.

There are people talking, but they sound far away. Their voices echo in my head like children shouting in a tunnel and listening to their voices scream back at them.

In the tangle of voices I only recognize a few voices that sound familiar yet I can't place their significance. 

(I'm sorry, I'm getting this from google translate) 

"Kare wa daijobudeshou ka?"

What are they saying?

"Kare wa me o samashite iru!"

What is going on? I don't understand. My head feels weird. I can't fight this.

"Takashi, are you okay?"

"Takashi! Otouto!"

"Taka-san!"

Their voices become fainter and fainter and my thinking goes numb again. I let myself slip away. I am far too weak to do anything.

I sleep for a long long time. My dreams consist of nothing. Just dark blackness behind my eyelids. It seems like forever that I am stuck in this void. Every now and then I wake up and hear people talking but I am too tired to say anything or move. I listen to them talk and I am too tired to make out what they are saying. It sounds like a mix of syllables I can't form to make a sentence.

Voices come and go filtering though tired thinking. I recognize few of them. I don't remember who they are.

When I can't make out a single word I let myself return to the void until I wake up again.

I wake up from sleeping again and this time my body doesn't feel so heavy, but I don't feel any stronger than I was.

There is no talking this time, there only seems to be sunlight filtering through window blinds, swaying to the breeze from outside.

It is a gentle calm. The serenity I need.

I open my eyes to see a blurry white tile ceiling. 

The first thing I notice is that the room smells like a hospital. I know from the pungent scent of acidic cleaning fluids that is so overpowering.

I try to roll onto my side but the sheets I am nestled under tangle with a needle stuck in my arm hooked to a saline bag hung on a pole to my left.

Everything is blurry but It is coming into focus. I push myself up to a sitting position and I scan the room, the outer edges of my vision still unclear and discolored.

My back cracks as I sit up and I stretch, the tightness in my muscles loosening slightly.

Noticing the white gloominess around me I guess I'm in the medical bay of the Garrison. 

Just when I think I'm alone, in the corner of my peripheral vision I see Adam. He is curled up in a chair and sleeping soundly with a jacket wrapped around him. 

From under the jacket I can see his arm is casted and there are bandages on the left side of his face covering his eye. He isn't wearing his glasses and there are dark shadows across his face.

Shouldn't he have a back brace or something? I don't know, all I know is my head feels weird and I'm still tired.

Trying to get a better sense of my surroundings I just focus on what's in front of me and I take in what I see because thinking is too much for me right now.

I notice that Adam must've been here for hours. His voice rings back in my head,speaking the same sounding broken syllables.

What were they talking about? I can't remember and my head hurts too much to try.

Speaking about people and talking, a couple starts fiercely arguing in the hall.

Adam twitches in his sleep.

Now that I am more awake, their words somewhat make sense to me.

Something about their son? I think I know these people...but I am too tired to care. 

Suddenly the voices get louder and a woman starts berating the other person.

Their yelling jolts Adam awake with a gasp and he falls out of his chair, causing it to clatter to the floor sharply.

Stop. 

Please stop making so much noise. 

I wince against the sounds ringing in my ears and I cover my ears.

I feel bandages wrapped around my head.

Did I get a, oh what's the word again...Concussion? Yeah, did I get a concussion? 

I feel awful.

Adam seems to notice my state of discomfort and pulls himself up off the floor to shut the door.

The people's angry voices echo down the halls but it Is much quieter.

I like this much better.

Adam walks over to me.

"Hey."

I turn my head to see Adam.

"Hey."

He gives me a soft smile.

"It's good to see you awake. How do you feel?" he asks me warmly.

"Like I've slept for a thousand years." I admit.

"You kinda did."

We laugh slightly.

"Do you feel well rested?"

"I could go for a few more years of sleep but what happened? How long have I been out?"

Adams expression darkens slightly and he sighs, sitting done on the edge of the bed to put an arm around my shoulder.

"You've been resting for two days now. A lot happened since we got back. I should tell you later."

"No, please."

I reach for his hand and we intertwine our fingers together.

"Tell me now. Are you alright?"

Adam smiles weakly.

"I'm doing the best I can." he says trying to sound strong but I don't need to think to know he Is tired. If anything he should be in this hospital bed.

Can people share hospital beds? That would be nice.

I go to say something but Adam cuts me off.

"Please don't worry about me. There are more important things to be concerned about. I'm okay."

"But your injuries." I point out.

Adam's hand reaches to the bandages on his forehead and the left side of his face to hide them and it's obvious he's self conscious of them.

I give him an unsure look but he squeezes my hand.

"I'm okay."

"Okay. Just checking. How's the others?"

His expression changes from tiredness to pain. 

It's making me uneasy and a little nauseous. 

I swear of anything happened to those kids and I couldn't be there for them, I would never forgive myself. 

Adam's shoulder slump and he looks weighed down by heavy thoughts.

"What happened to them. Where are they?" I ask, my voice rising slightly.

"They are recovering. Just try not to worry. So about the galra-"

"Adam so help me god, Where are they? Are they okay? Where are their parents? I am responsible for them you know. I need to know they are safe!"

My senses are getting sharper as I become more alert. I need to protect them, I can't slack like this! 

"Ok I know, I know. Just calm down. Please. I just want you to be prepared for what I have to say."

I don't even know what happened and I'm beginning to cry. I try to pull myself together as the all too familiar sensation of hot tears burns and my throat constricts to tightly it hurts.

"They won't be the same after all that had happened. Most of them can continue on but for the most part they have been traumatized. They aren't coming out of this with some sort of anxiety disorder. Pidge won't eat, Hunk has severe paranoia, Lance has anxiety, Keith is struggling with his inner demons, the list goes on. I'm sorry."

"No. How could I let this happen? I was supposed to protect them!"

"Kashi, there was no way you could shield them from the effects of war. 

I cover my face with my hands and weep bitterly.

"This is all my fault."

My head hurts against the strain to remain in control. 

"Take it easy. You're still recovering. You won't be discharged for about two days."

"I should've protect them better."

Adam puts his arm on my back and messages my worn out shoulders that have carried so much. It's so hard to finally put everything down and realize what I failed to do.

There was no other adult around. I'm not the best with kids but I just couldn't just leave them to die in battle every time we faced danger. And now I can't protect them from the effects.

We are prisoners of war. 

"It's not your fault. You kept them alive. Their parents are forever grateful."

I cover my face with my hands as I cry.

They should never know what I have to go through. They should never know pain and suffering I face. The fear, the stress and tiredness like I do. 

This cycle of constant suffering. It isn't worth it. 

It just isn't worth it.

"Takashi, war is inescapable weather you are fighting it or not. And it is everywhere. Of course you couldn't protect them but what you can do is help them recover."

"But the medical bay specializes in physical injuries. They need to be sent to the psychology atrium!"

Adam stops. He looks incredibly hurt and ashamed. 

"What happened!"

Tears well up in his eyes and he wipes them away with the back of his jacket sleeve. 

"I'm sorry. This isn't the medical bay."

"...excuse me?.."

Adam chokes back crying and he tries to suppress his emotions. He shouldn't do that. When emotions build up and take you over, the anger, the guilt, the fear...it just becomes too much.

"Look around you. Where is the high tech machines? There is nothing here but a heart monitor and a saline bag."

Adam's voice wavers.

"When we got back, there was nothing but dust."

"No..."

"Takashi, the Garrison is..."

Adam falls apart. 

I can't blame him for it. How does someone stay strong during a time like this when we've lost everything. 

It finally occurs to me that Adam is saying the Garrison, our home is gone forever.

My home away from...home.

No.

NO!

NO!!!

"No, the Garrison can't be gone! If it was gone we wouldn't be here! We are in some sort of hospital!"

"This is only plaster, scaffolding and basic equipment from the Universal Extension Bases. What they have to provide isn't going to be enough for us."

No. The Garrison is the whole reason the two of us are here and got to where we are now! 

The place where we made all our memories together is gone.

Adam and I have spent years and years and years here working and training, and learning and being exposed to new opportunities people back in my home country could only imagine. I had a legacy to carry for my family back in Japan. We had roots to lay down, a foundation.

I can't do that anymore. Without the Garrison we are nothing. We have no roots in this country, we have no resources, we have no shelter, no warmth and I have no place to call home. 

Everything he worked for is thrown away.

The UE Bases can't replace the Garrison. 

Nothing can replace what this place meant to me.

"So what do we do?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I don't know." he says, the defeat is thick in his voice.

"Where are the lions?"

"They are still with us but we can't use them anymore. They have completely run out of power and they are as good as scrap metal by now."

"And the cadets?"

"They have been sent to the UE Base in England. They will just have to continue their education there."

"Does that mean we are out of jobs?"

Adam nods solemnly. 

"And we have no home, our belongings are gone. There is no running water here, no heat, barely any electrical devices out here and worst of all. No Wi-Fi."

Our photo book. 

"So is this the part where we admit defeat?"

"No. We just start over again from square one and work our way up again. There is nothing else to do but that. Things can't get worse."


	39. A Crystal's Spark

Coran's POV  
(Chapter gets really depressing I'm sorry this should be the last chapter during the low point)

"Will you be alright while I'm gone?" I say gently, her hand slightly warm in mine.

"Yeah. Be back soon."

I nod to Allura and get up from my seat.

"I shouldn't be long. I really don't expect anything from the tests at all."

She looks at me with a sadness melting into the icy blue of her eyes. She nods.

I get up.

Walking out of the room I nod politely at the nurses that have come to check her vitals, Romelle and Nachia with them to explain Altean anatomy. Surprisingly, humans and Alteans aren't so different.

I walk down the hall to the make shift test lab. I know the UE Bases are trying to help us as best they can but what they can provide is little at the moment. Sooner or later, China is going to come in and support us. We wouldn't be so far along without the base from Germany. But nothing they can provide will ever replace Altean tech. It all went with the Garrison. I saw it. The smoke billowing into the air. Face it, I'll never be able to factually prove Adam is the secret paladin. I don't know why I'm trying. I don't know. But I can't keep ignoring what I saw. I swear the color of his eyes has changed. There is a white blue streak in them from his powers. Or maybe its heterochromia.

Maybe. 

I get to the labs provided by the Uruguay UE Base where an officer is guarding the doors. His uniform is just like Shiro's but there is a special symbol and flag patch on the sleeve of his uniform. I walk up to him, and turn on the translation earpieces the bases gave us and change the setting to Spanish. The audio we hear will be changed. That is how I have to communicate with others. Unless Lance isn't around.

"Are the labs open to use?" I ask as politely as I can.

" Yes. I just need to know why you're here."

"I'm running some health tests. I'm just waiting for Adam Watten from the Garrison HQ to get here. The tests won't take long."

The UE Base Officer from Uruguay nodded and let me pass by into the labs. I don't bring anything with me. I don't really need to. All I need is the crystal from the castle of lions. It will never be enough. I should know. It's not strong enough to power the lions, bring back the garrison or get us anywhere. It will just take some DNA from Adam and confirm to me if he is Altean.

I doubt he is.

I pull out the crystal from my pocket and lay it in my open palm. It may be small but the edges are sharp enough to cut someone and draw a drop of blood. That's how I plan to get Adam's DNA. It will glow if it there are traces of Altean blood. It will die if there isn't. I plan to watch it fade and crumble away.

I can almost see it now. The crystal forming fractures, the red seeping into the cracks and draining the color into a murky purple. It will shatter.

Then what? There will be nothing.

"Hey." A voice disturbs me from my thoughts and I jolt back awake, pushing the crystal back into my pocket. I turn around to see Adam waiting at the doorway.

"Ready?" He asks.

"Yeah."

He walks in. Pulling a box behind him, obviously struggling. I get up and stop him.

"What are you doing? What is this?"

"Oh, just some stuff. I heard you were going to use some tiny crystal. Are you sure that's adequate?"

"I don't know anymore. Are these items used for standard human health monitoring?"

"Used by professionals. But lets make this quick, I have no time to waste. I need to check in with the Japanese UE Base representatives and arrange a trade for supplies in half an hour."

"We can use the equipment if you insist but just know that I have no idea how to use it so you should do it yourself. You did say you had to leave soon."

"That and I'm not authorized to use it without a doctor on standby. I'll just have someone else do it."

"Fine but while you're here I say we use the crystal. Will you let me draw a drop of your blood?" I ask, trying not to sound threatening.

"Yeah. Just let me wash my hands." he says trying to sound nonchalant as he goes to the lab sink. I know he has been effected by the war too. The stigma is getting to him. He doesn't want to seem scared of bloodshed.

We're all scared.

He takes his time. Sooner or later this crystal is going to die and I know I will have really lost base with my home. Whats worse? Loosing your home and pretending its still there, or watching it crumble away? I wipe tears from my face as he gets back and once more gets ready.

He holds out his hand and I pull out the crystal and I bring it close to his palm. I press it to his skin.

"Breathe in," and he does as told and takes in a deep breath. I hold my energy to scrape it across his palm. Hold it. One tick. Two ticks. Three.

"Breathe out." He exhales and with a sharp but short flick of my wrist there is a small cut. The cut is flesh colored but slowly blood seeps out of the wound and leaves a small droplet of deep scarlet. I set the crystal on top of the wound. I watch the crystal drink in the blood greedily, not spilling a single drop.

"What now?" he asks, the blood and crystal fusing together. Melting as one as the crystal searches for Altean life.

"We wait." I say simply. I watch the crystal. It cracks, making a small spark of white blue light.

"Is that good?" he asks, watching the cracks get bigger, the crystal swelling up and becoming full of blood.

"It depends. Did you want to be the secret paladin?" I say.   
I'm almost sorry for saying that. My tone comes out in a way I haven't heard in a long time. Dry and cold. I don't mean to be rude but this is what he expected. Did he change his mind?

He shakes his head slightly, but his eyes are trained on the crystal, as if he is waiting for something good to happen.

The crystal cracks again. Once, twice and then it shatters in his open palm with a short crack.   
Just like that and it's gone.  
I immediately take up the remains from his hands. I don't need further investigation. My case is closed. I turn and dump it into the waste bin.

He's not Altean.

"What happened?" he asked, bewilderment floating around in his tone.

"You're human. There is no Altean life in your veins. So that settles it for me. You're free to go." I say waving him off. But he doesn't budge. He stares at me in perplexity for a few moments before coming back to his senses.

"What? That cannot be Altean tech. You built those lions! How can this small crystal be your vast technological advances?!"

"We lost everything in the destruction. And the lions are as good as nothing."

It takes a moment for him to let it sink in. As I watch him I can see the guilt boiling within. The pain flash in his multicolored eyes. The shame. He still think's its his fault. I think so too.

I get upset. As much as I want to lash out, scream out, I can't. I have better composure then that. I can't just lash out at him.

"There is nothing more to know. You aren't Altean. It's impossible what you did to be true."

"But, if it was impossible then why did it happen? Why me? Why not sooner or later?..."

"I don't know. In all my years of learning and gaining vast knowledge, I think somethings are best left unanswered."

Adam swallows hard. And nods, tears threatening to spill forth.

"Don't cry now. You have some representatives to see." I say, patting his back and walking away down the hall back to Allura's room.

I don't want to see the guilt on his face. The small pang of anger I felt stirs within me but if anything, I pity him. All those thoughts on his mind. It boils down to one statement. As cruel as sounds, its true:

Everything is all Adam's fault.

Think of it for a moment!

In all respect, he was the one that really made Shiro leave. They both fought, Shiro left. It's not my place to look into details but this really is Adam's fault. After Shiro left, he got captured and thus the whole story starts to unfold. I can't blame Shiro's illness. Adam was the one who drove Shiro to overachieve. Now the Garrison is gone, we have nothing, who knows where the Galra are right now. Do I blame Adam? Not really. Am I holding him responsible? Absolutely. But Voltron wouldn't have been united without him. I owe him a lot to be honest. Maybe I shouldn't pity him but thinking about having sympathy makes me think about all the years he wasted here on earth. Wasted what short lived power he possessed. But making Shiro leave was almost the greatest and worst thing ever. It was a small action. Really a choice of words that fueled Shiro to leave. Was this Shiro's fault?

Quiznack it, I can't blame anyone. God this is all too confusing.

I never thought I'd see the day all my hope left me. I never thought I'd see the day all hope is lost. I better check on Allura.

I walk down the halls back to Allura's room to see her sleeping peacefully. Not a sign of pain on her face. I consider it a blessing.   
I sit by her bed and wait guard, pulling the sheets over her shoulder.   
Her pink Altean marks used to glow in the dark but now they have faded in color and luminescence.   
I hang my head and close my eyes.

"Alfor, I need you. I need your guidance." I mumble into the darkness.

No answer. Of course there wouldn't be anything. 

I can't stand the sadness around here! I get up again. Something tells me to go check up on Shiro. It might be nicer just to be somewhere a little different. I haven't seen him since we got back and I know he's been awake for some time. I get up and walk down the hall again to the recovery room on the other side of the building.

All along the halls. I overhear some people arguing. The same couple over and over again arguing in a language I don't know. I ignore them.

I go back to Shiro's room and knock on the door gently.

"Shiro? Can I come in?" I ask hesitantly. 

"Yeah. The door is open." He calls weakly.

I open the door and I step in, closing the door behind me.  
Shiro is lying in a hospital bed, a needle in his arm, a heart monitor at his side, bandages around his head and bruises everywhere.

"Hey. How are you?" I ask gently, even though it's somewhat rhetorical.

"I've been better. But I've been worse. I don't know honestly. I think I have a concussion."

"That and you're on painkillers."

"Oh fun. Is it me or are those guys arguing more than usual?"

"Seems like it."

"Hey where is Adam?"

"He told me he was going to talk with the representatives from the Japanese base."

Shiro jolts and sits up immediately.

"The Japanese base is here?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know who the representatives are? Their names?" Shiro asks in desperation.

"I'm sorry. I don't know."

"Not even a list?"

"No. Were you looking for a friend?"

"Yeah, I guess could call them friends.." He says, sounding incredibly hurt and disappointed. 

"Short term memory?"

"Being concussed sucks! I can't remember anything and then it hurts to think."

Shiro's heart monitor signals a heartbeat increase. It must be because of the stress and frustration. I think of something to distract him and maybe calm him down.

"So you have friends from Japan?" I inquire. I haven't heard much about Shiro's childhood. 

"They're actually my siblings."

"Wow. I didn't know that about you."

"Not a lot of people know that to be honest. God, it's been a long time since I've seen them. I wonder how much they have changed."

"I bet they'll be happy to see you again."

"Wait...but they probably think I'm dead. My whole family! All my friends back in Japan. My parents. What are they going to think when they see me again?" Shiro exclaims, going into a frenzy of panic.

"Don't worry about a thing. I'm sure they will be okay."

"God, my Dad is gonna make a remark about my hair, isn't he. Agh,this headache is killing me!

Quiznack. All I've done was upset him. I try to think of another topic. Well, maybe I can get him some medicine or something.

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"No. I'm already on painkillers. I'll be fine."

Now we are sitting in awkward silence. I try to think of something. Anything!

"So...Nice weather huh?" I say, trying not to cringe at my own words.

"It's not bad. For a desert." he says shrugging.

"I never really saw the lifelessness around the garrison until the main building burned down."

"I didn't realize what I had until it was destroyed."

Great, now this just got sad all over again, but I can't help wondering something. Shiro has a concussion. I don't think he'll think much of my next question.

"Do you blame Adam for what happened?"

"No. I could never. Speaking about him, how did the tests go?"

I instinctively reach to the pocket to find the crystal, but of course I find nothing.

"He's not Altean. He isn't a quintessential being either."

"So how did all this happen?"

"I don't know." I admit. It's rare for me not to know. Usually if I don't know the answer, no one will. 

"Then I guess we'll never know."

"I wouldn't say that. He said he was doing some routine tests. Maybe something will turn up. I'm going to get the results but can you read them with me? I'm not so familiar with human health monitoring technology stats."

"I'll try but reading makes my head hurt. When will the results be here?"

"Sooner or later. It's been about a varga. Should I go looking for him?"

"I'd let him be. I'm sure if my brother and sister were are the representative and met up with him, they'll pester him about how I've been." he says with a short stress relief laugh.

"So they work at the UE Bases?"

"They do. My brother as a chemist and my sister as an astrologist."

"So why were you sent to the HQ instead of all three of you guys?" 

It's an honest question. Maybe a little nosey but still honest. 

"I don't want to talk about that. It's a story I'm not proud of."

"So you seem to push away your past a lot."

"Yeah...I guess I do. But those are personal matters I haven't addressed in years."

"Maybe you should address them. Maybe then they won't hurt you anymore."

Just then, Adam strides into the room, a stack of documents in his hands. Shiro sits up straighter.

"Adam! Did you see my brother and sister at the UE Base meeting?"

"No. I'm sorry." he says shaking his head.

"Did you ask? Who was there?"

"Honey, we're going to have to talk about that later." he says steadily. "Coran, here are the results. I haven't seen them yet but you can take a look. I was just going to hand them over to a doctor."

Adam hands me the papers. I forgot that they use English writing. I can't really read a thing.

"Shiro can you help me read these?"

"Not after Adam tells me what he knows about my family." Shiro says getting upset.

"Takashi, I'm not telling you now because Coran is here. Once he checks the results and leaves, we can talk. They aren't dead, I can tell you that."

"Oh thank god!" Shiro relaxes but I look back and Adam gives me a worried look.

"I hope they aren't dead." He mutters under his breath so quietly that Shiro can't hear. 

"Ok so let me look at the results. Coran I'll try to explain to you what this means." 

I hand Shiro the papers and he looks through them. Flipping through them, he stops at a page and stares at it in confusion. He rubs his eyes and tries to analyze the data again. But he still seems confused. He flips through the pages again and is bewildered. 

"Umm, I think my concussion is making me see things. This can't be right. Adam did you look through these?"

"No." he says shrugging. 

"Well look at them now! I'm loosing my mind or something is seriously wrong here."

We walk up to the bedside to look at the data sheets. Shiro's finger traces a line graph with various colored lines going in the same general direction following a pattern, then one of the lines drops right before the end of the graph. All the other graphs or data organizers show the same thing. A natural trend than an outlier. 

"This isn't right. This just isn't right." Adam exclaims. "That can't be the data they collected. It's impossible!"

"Can one of you explain to me what is going on?" I ask, getting annoyed. 

"According to the data sheets, Adam has lost half his blood volume, his blood pressure has dropped by half, he lost half his weight, half his bone density....It doesn't make sense! HE SHOULD BE DEAD!"

"Bitch, did you just say should?" Adam shouts at him.

"No, I didn't mean that! You know what I'm trying to say here!"

"So your saying that everything is showing up as if he was cut in half or something? Then why are you functioning!?" I say, breaking up their argument. 

I jump up and grab his shoulders and he starts getting nervous. I can feel him. He still feels whole. 

"You don't feel cut in half or anything. It's like your remaining 50% has distributed itself to fill in the missing space."

"But if you were cut in half, and everything seems to be at either half density or half function, there has to be something compensating for your lost half!" Shiro adds, putting his hand on Adam's shoulder as well, feeling around for signs of abnormality.

"Wait a second, which half are we talking about? Are we talking about a vertical split down the middle? Because there are other ways to cut a person in half." I inquiry as I feel Adam's neck for a pulse. 

"Oh My God I Don't Want To Think About That! This is weird and get your hands off me!" He retorts, smacking our hands away from him. "I say we do the tests again! Maybe we are all getting riled up for nothing. Maybe this was all just a big mistake. No, this is a joke. This is all some sick joke!" Adam says, backing into a corner to the wall in defense and denial. 

"I don't think the tech would lie or make a fault. We can try again but what if it comes out with the same data results. We need to test it another way." Shiro says, getting up out of bed and standing up.

"Takashi, no! Get back in bed now!" Adam orders, but Shiro doesn't listen. Slightly shaky on his feet, Shiro walks over to Adam.

"Adam, I need to test this. The results says that everything has been diminished by half in quantity and quality. So then that means-"

"Quality? Bitch, you better choose your words wisely!" 

"Ok, quit your sass and be real here! I am concerned for your health right now!"

"SO AM I!"

"Ok! That's it! Stop fighting you two! You are acting like a pair of Yelmore pups now be quiznacking quiet I have something to add here!" I shout, getting in the middle of the two of them. "Do you think this might have to do with the power you have? It could have rearranged your anatomy or something."

"But I'm not Altean." He retorts. 

"So what? I think there is something we aren't seeing here." I say. "This isn't about your DNA anymore. This is about something else that runs within your veins. It used to be that you had to be Altean to be a quintessential being, but now I think I change my mind."

"So you think you know what's wrong with me?"

"I have a notion. But you need to come with me! We have to see Allura, Romelle and Nachia."

"But Adam was going to tell me about my family before you left." 

But we were already going down the halls. This story may be getting weirder and weirder but I am getting to the bottom of this. There is hope. 

I knew it when the crystal sparked before it shattered.


	40. Finally An Answer

Adam's POV

"How do you think they can help us? Oh my god this is just getting weirder and weirder!" I sigh as Coran drags me by the arm to Allura's room.

"That may be so, but I'll take weird over impossible anyway." Coran says as he tugs me down hall after hall.

"Watch the cast! My arm is broken so be careful!" I complain, holding my arm defensively.

"And it's a wonder that you can still walk. Does any doctor know about how you broke multiple bones, suffered from a flesh wound on your face, split your head open, almost lost your eyesight, and fell out of the sky in the span of 3 hours and you came out of it alive?"

"Most of that but not my back breaking and did it really break? Maybe I was just in too much shock. I didn't tell the doctors anyway." I admit quietly. It occurs to me just how lucky I was to make it out sane!

Coran stops short and I bump into him, my glasses sliding down my face. Coran turns around to face me again with shock on his face.

"WHAT!? You escaped death in a blaze of glory!"

"Don't put it that way. It was nothing special. The test results could be wrong. At the time of the even I was just in shock." I retort, adjusting my glasses.

"But I can see the effects easily. Have you even seen your eyes? There is something about them. They have changed color so it's obvious that you are carrying something from the whole ordeal." Coran points out. I shield my eyes from him. I don't want anyone looking at them. They're too weird to look at.

"It might just be from chemicals that were on the ship. I'm sure my eyes will go back to being hazel in a few days. Or I might just have heterochimia." I admit, brushing my fringe into my eyes so that no one will see them. Luckily my bandage covers most of my left eye.

"I don't think a person with heterochimia would have hazel, blue, purple, green, silver, and yellow all at the same time in their eyes." Coran points out.

"Purple? Now you're just pushing it." I say flatly.

"I'm not pushing anything. You might even have ancestry to an alien race we don't know of. The tests results opened us to so many possibilities that could explain your condition and even-"

"Okay, I'm just going to stop you right there before you say something that really gets weird. Now lets just find the others, they'll check some stuff out and I'll be fine. The results were far off, my eyes will change back to hazel sooner or later and I am totally human." I affirm to Coran and myself and I carry on down the corridor with Coran at my side instead of him dragging me by my casted arm.

"Why are you denying something that could be true?" he questions, keeping up with my rather fast pace.

"Because it's not true." I say dryly.

"You're just giving up hope."

I facepalm.

"Let's just see what the girls have to say for my condition. Did Takashi notice my eye color? Or, colors?"

"No. Why?"

"No reason." I mutter. I cringe and keep on walking. I don't know why but I just hate the color of my eyes now. Everything is so out of hand! We really are lost in this whole thing. I'm sure everyone's going along with this because they don't know what to believe in anymore. This could all be a bad dream for all I know. But I can't wake up.

Coran and I get to Allura's room where she Nachia and Romelle are deep in conversation and they laugh and giggle here and there.

Coran knocks on the door lightly.

"Ladies, may Adam and I come in please? We just want to talk for a little while."

"Come in." Allura called from the room. She sounds happy and awake. It must be because she is surrounded with friends while Coran and I trudge into the room like awkward idiots.

"You three, I need you to hear our something. It gets confusing I know but I think we just made a huge discovery in explaining what happened back when we were captured."

"When we were last taken by the Galra? I don't want to think of that." Allura says getting slightly upset.

"We're not talking about that happened. You don't have to be afraid." I say sitting by her bedside and putting an arm around her shoulder. "We recently got some data back from some heath tests and they all have responded back in ways I've never seen before."

"How so?" Nachia asks, leaning in toward me.

"It was like all my regular stats and data was cut in half. According to the data sheet, I weight half of what I used to, I've lost half my bone density, blood volume, and so much more. I've never seen results like this." I exclaim throwing my hands up.

"Do you have the data sheets?" Nachia asks, and I hand her the stack of papers. She flips through them and pulls out a device that looks like some sort of smart phone. She scans the data sheets and the phone turns them into units I've never seen before but they seem to make sense to her, Romelle and Allura.

"This is very odd. I've never seen anything like this before." she says skimming through the data. "It does seem like you were cut in half and your body is compensating for it but you are functioning just fine. Are humans made to handle this?"

"No. I've never heard of a person being cut in half and living to tell the story." I

"Lets say someone is cut in half down the middle. Would they regenerate the loss body parts?"

"To some extent but I should be dead!"

Oh my god, I really should be dead! I broke my back, I shouldn't be walking. I was up in space in some alien ship I should be having health problems! Why am I fine!?

"If you didn't know already, Galrans can learn how to tell someone's state of being just by touch and sense alone. Not every Galran is good at it, but I'm alright at it. I monitored your condition when we escaped. It went under rapid change."

"How so? What could you tell?"

"I can tell a person's quintessence level, their pain reception, stress levels, and fear. I can even tell what someone might be thinking to some extent. Every one of those levels went under constant change. When you chose to spare me, you put your arm on my shoulder and I sensed how you were doing. Then, your levels were generally low, you were focusing on getting me to saftey. I don't think I have had a chance to say this but thank you."

I nod and I let her continue.

"Then, your quintessence was average, your stress was higher than average, pain was low, and your fear levels were moderate but high. When we were running from Sandek your quintessence level dropped dangerously. Your pain, stress and fear skyrocketed to a dangerous level. All of ours did. But something changed when we were captured and almost put to death."

Coran is on the edge of his seat listening closely so he can prove his point. What Nachia is saying has truth to it. Maybe she's right.

"When Sandek was convincing you to turn against us all, I knew you considered it for a moment."

She's right. I did. How could I do that? I know I made the right choice in the end but that doesn't make me a good person at all.

"There was this...darkness. Your quintessence levels went negative."

Allura is taken back by this and is quick to speak up.

"Negative? It can't be negative. There is no such thing as negative levels of quintessence."

"Yes there is. What I observed, it seems that quintessence reacts to diffusion. The space was so negative or empty, quintessence flooded in to fill it." Nachia explains.

"The light! It was a quintessence cluster!" Coran exclaims.

"And it came directly from the quintessence field." Nachia noted.

"So what am I now? A human quintessence magnet or something?" I remark with a scoff. This is unbelievable I don't even know what quintessence really is. Some power source?

"Not quite. When the quintessence was being filled again, you used it. And your levels skyrocketed again, stress, pain and fear all went down."

"So I can remove quintessence from space. What a fucking concept."

"Yes. But so can Galran ships. Adam you are what the Galrans are searching for. Alchemy performed by a living source. They depend on machines to pull quintessence from the space around them but you can do it by tapping into the quintessence field."

"So that's why they wanted you on their side!" Allura exclaims.

"But how did they know that I could somehow do that? I didn't know. I didn't know what I was doing at the time!"

"Between then and sometime, you gained that ability, something tells me it was in the failed Go-no go battle weapon. It was supposed to be the Lion's greatest power. You were going to use a shock wave to radiate the explosion out to the ship but it backfired on you." Allura comments.

"Adam, what did it feel like when the wave hit you?" Nachia asks me.

A chill goes down my spine and my stomach gets sick. I don't want to remember what happened to me. I don't want to remember the destruction. I'm glad I'm sitting down because my knees get weak.

"It was like I was being ripped apart."My words come out in a faint whisper. It's hard to talk about what happened.

"By limb?" Romelle asks with horror and concern in her voice. Allura cringes, and the twisted feeling in my stomach hurts more. I remember what it was like to be smothered in the pressure and flames of the falling Atlas. My greatest work being destroyed, nearly taking my life and destroying the place I felt rooted to.

"By atoms, molecules and cells. It was like I dematerialized and was put back together over and over again by force. And it was painful. No, it was more than pain. I don't know how to describe it. Everything was cold and hot at the same time. I couldn't really move. Then the cross beam fell on me and then it felt more like I broke my back and I was going to die."

"But you didn't." Allura says. She thinks to herself for a few moments. "Something tells me that this has to do with the lions."

"Please don't tell me you're making me a paladin." I groan.

"You have to be a paladin. You flew the black lion to the Garrison. Um, what was left of it. The Lions have to do something with this."

Everyone racks their brain for a solution.

"I think I know!" Coran chimes in. "Each lion is about one tenth pure quintessence. All five of them were involved in the explosion and you got hit by all five. You said it felt like your molecular structure was being taken apart and put back together. I think the lions went in, divided you by half and changed your chemistry!"

"Is that possible?" Romelle asks in bewilderment. I assume no Altean has ever heard of the lions completely changing the chemistry of a person before. Is already sounds impossible! But then again they know this technology better than I do.

"It has to be. Adam is still alive and well."

"But if the lions divided me in half and changed my chemistry, what is my other half made of?"

"If you show me your arm I might be able to tell you. It would help me if you'd pull up your sleeve, take a deep breath, and focus."

I push my left hand sleeve up to my forearm and I extend it out. Nachia takes my hand her left and with her right hand she feels my wrist. Her hands are warm and strong. She closes her eyes and senses my pain, stress, fear, and quintessence levels. I can guess she's trying to guess what I'm thinking or feeling as well. I take a deep breath in and out a few times and I relax as I feel a small tingling sensation in my hand.

"Holy quiznack! I've never felt anything like this!" she exclaims, feeling my wrist.

"What!? Am I dying!?" 

"You are half human half pure quintessence!"

There is a gasp around the room. Nachia traces the veins on my arms, getting a better sense of my fear, pain, stress and quintessence.

"That is far more than any normal entity should have! Normal entities are around .01%. You have to had exchanged quintessence with the lions! That means-"

"Oh please don't-"

"YOU'RE A PALADIN!" All three of them shout and cheer at the same time. I groan and facepalm. Just the thing I asked not to be!

"I KNEW IT! YOU ARE A PALADIN! YOU INTERACTED WITH THE BLACK LION!"

"Even better," Allura adds, "You have a connection to all five!"

"HOLY QUIZNACK!"

"No. I am not being a Paladin! Nope. I don't accept this! I can't!" I defend, riding to my feet.

"But you-" "come on Adam-" "you qualify-" "Wait Wait Wait hold on a second." Nachia interrupts everyone's talking all at once.

"I'm seeing something else here. Adam, I'm tapping into what you might be thinking."

"Oh right. You're a psychic as well."

"No. I can some an idea of what people are thinking and feeling."

"That's what a psychic is." I retort.

"Whatever, just hush up, and that goes for everyone."

Everyone falls silent as Nachia's hands go back to feeling my wrist and the tingling sensation returns to my arm. Her expression is serious but soon changed to concern.   
Oh please don't. Please! Oh god!

Allura, Coran and Romelle exchange glances of concern and confusion. They shrug to eachother and then look at me. I feel a twist of nerves in my stomach.   
Stop looking at me!   
I look away, breaking into a sweat.  
God it's taking an awful long time for Nachia to read my mind. Wait, can she tell how I feel?! OKOK, calm down calm down!   
I take in silent deep breaths. It's been awhile since anyone has said anything.  
Should I say something?

"Are your readings clear?" I ask, clearing my throat of the building tightness.

"It's a clear reading. It's just I'm getting....a lot."

She's judging me. I just know it!  
Nachia lets go of my hand and gives me a concerned expression.

"What did you see?" Coran asks.

"I'm not going to say much to keep the privacy of Adam's thoughts and feelings."

She knows. Oh god she knows! Please don't bring them up! Please!

"All I'm going to say is this. I know your dealing with some personal matters. I will let you handle that on your own, but they shouldn't define you. They don't define you."

I swallow hard and nod.

"But staying with the topic of the situation, you seem to avoid being called a Paladin because you don't feel worthy."

"Yeah, I don't deserve the title. I don't..."

"Listen. It's time you let your guilt go. We have the UE Bases. There are pieces of the Garrison that you didn't destroy. And really, we have to blame the Galra for all that happened. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"But everything, my home, my job, our resources...it's all gone."

"We are getting it back. You have to move on now."

"I'll try to move on." I mutter.

"You don't sound confident but admitting you'll move on is a good start. You also should recognize that by definition, you are now a Paladin. You are also an alchemist. The most powerful I've ever seen. Maybe even more powerful than the sorceress Haggar herself. You can help us fight this war."

"I'm not trained! I'm not prepared! I don't even know if I can do that quintessence cluster thing again! I don't even know how I did it!"

"When the rest of the team is fully recovered you will join us for training as an official member as the team. You don't have to go by the title of Paladin and alchemist but by definition you qualify for both and you will be remembered as a Paladin and alchemist. You are now part of this team and you will help lead us. You need to own up to your new post."

"And if I can't pilot the lions or take quintessence from the quintessence field like how I did?"

"I hate to be insensitive with my answer but you will continue being a sad jobless engineer. But you need to try to give being an Alchemist Paladin a shot. You can't mope around anymore. This is war. You are now a team member so act one. Does this answer all your questions?"

"Yes. This answers a lot." I say.

"Good. Go talk to Shiro about this. I'm sure he'll have important input."

"Thank you Nachia." I say.

"Take it easy on yourself Adam." She says with a smile.

Coran and I get up to leave. We go out into the hall and walk away down a few halls before we finally stop to talk about what just happened.

"So you are a paladin now." He says giving me a cocky smile.

"No. I'm not." I force out flatly.

"Nachia said you were, you even piloted the black lion for a period of time."

"That lion seems really unfaithful." I comment.

"It's noe about being faithful. It's about connection and who is worthy. You are worthy of flying the black lion. That, and all of the lions! They listened to you when you called all of them!"

"Fine. I am a paladin. So what?"

"And an alchemist." He adds.

"And?" I nearly shout, getting upset and defensive.

"That leaves me with one last question. So what color are you going to be?"

"Color?"

Since when did this have to do with color?

"Yeah. Black, bue, red, yellow and green are already taken. What color paladin are you?" He asks with interest.

Fine. I guess I'm a Paladin now. I have no choice to accept that because everyone is going to give me furled if I don't. I'll do it for their sake be not for mine.

"Umm, let me think about that. I need to go see Takashi and talk to him about this."

"Okay, but think about it." Coran says, tuning down a hallway in a different direction.

I watch him go off for a while. He was so upset earlier today. Now he's happy. I sigh. I'll let him call me Paladin if it makes him happy. I can't stand to see him upset. I can't stand to see everyone be so upset. I'll try to fix this war and make up for my mistakes. For them. For me. For us all.

I continue back to Takashi's room with a small sense of pride. I'll let it grow. Maybe then I'll get over what I did. I get to thinking about what color I might choose as Paladin. I think about my eye color again.  
Blue, hazel, silver, yellow, purple and green. Like a rainbow. The rainbow paladin sounds pretty gay. 

I think I like it.


	41. Touching Base

Takashi's POV

(This chapter is so long because I put the google translate text in bold)

I have been waiting for Adam to get back for over an hour now. He told me he'd tell me where my family is, that was until Coran dragged him off in his pursuit to prove Adam to be the secret Paladin. I don't know if I should believe that or not. Adam fit's the criteria. He even piloted the Black Lion home...

Right,

I have no home anymore...

he piloted the lion back to what used to be my home. I'm getting tired again. I've been awake for about three hours now. When is he getting back? What is he going to tell me? It gets harder and harder to stay awake now. I can feel my body ache for sleep and my eyes become heavy. I try to keep awake in hopes Adam will come back and tell me my family is okay.

Tell me they are fine. Tell me they are okay. Tell me what I want to hear...tell me they are happy.......Wake up Takashi! Stay awake! Don't nod off now. Wait for Adam to come back. Wait for him to tell you that they are okay! They are fine, my family is fine. They're okay, nothing has happened to them. My mom, my dad, my siblings...are they okay? I'll let myself rest for a few minutes.

I lay back down and pull the sheets over me again.

I'll wait for Adam to get back. I won't fall asleep.

*falls asleep anyway*

(Memory flashback dream to when Shiro was ten)

All I see is darkness. Darkness sprinkled with stars. Beautiful celestial bodies are dancing across the sky leaving behind tails of dust. It all twinkles so beautifully. It's amazing, I am running out of words to use. If only I could describe it all. Looking up at the night sky, something changes within me. Something small, but something powerful.

From that moment on, I know my head and heart belonged to space and the greater unknown. I belong to the mystery that looked over me when I was supposed to be sleeping. I couldn't sleep when such a beautiful sight was out in the open, for all eyes to see. The thing that made it so special it didn't matter who you were, gazing up at it all from below. It never mattered. If you were a boy or girl, if you were poor, it you were rich, old, young, good or bad. The stars shined for all to see them. They shined for us, shined for themselves, and nobody. I wanted to know their secret. I wanted to know how something so beautiful could be.   
I can't say it, but the meaning was there. It was always there.   
If I summed all of this into one sentence I could say I loved the stars. I love the stars and I always will.  
The adventure, the chance to see something new and indescribable! It was in my veins! I felt it pulsing within me. My life isn't written until after I walk along the long winding path, but I found a direction. I found something I could belong to. I'm going to follow it. No matter what happens to me. I could loose a limb, I but don't care. I could loose all the air in my lungs and I'd still keep going. I could loose my life but I would die happy if I reached the stars. 

 

...I was only ten...I was only a child...what was I thinking...what was I thinking?...

 

It is long past my bedtime. The sun fell behind the horizon four hours ago. I know I should be asleep in bed, I know I shouldn't be here, but I am. I hide behind a screen door so I am shrouded in darkness. I don't think they can see or hear me.

I hear them talking. Arguing over me.

"Watashi wa kare ga gyarakushī shubi-tai ni ōen sa serubekida to wa omowanai. I don't think we should have him apply to the Galaxy Garrison." a gruff and irritated voice says.

"Nazena no? Kare wa sūgaku to kagaku ni takai tekisei o shimeshite imasu. Kare wa sono yōna shudai ga sukidesu. Kare wa pairottodearu koto ni kanshin o shimeshite imasu. Watashi wa kare ga ōbo shikaku ga aru to omou. Why not? He has shown a high aptitude for math and science. He likes those subjects. He has shown interest in being a pilot. I think he is qualified to apply." says a much calmer, kinder voice.

"Kare wa waka sugiru. He is too young."

"Sore o shiraberu no wa oso sugiru koto wa arimasen. Tabun shōrai no apurikēshon o sapōto suru tame ni kare o tokutei no kurasu ni tōroku suru koto ga dekimasu. It's not too late to look into it. Maybe we could enroll him in specific classes to support his future application."

"Dare ga watashitachi ni mo kare o okuru to itta nodesu ka? Watashitachi wa sudeni Aoyama no judaku-sho o matteimasu. Sono Ue,-kō-byō wa byōkidesu. Kare wa hikōki o sōjū shi tari, shubi-tai ni yūekina koto wa kesshite dekimasen. Kare wa teikyō suru koto ga hotondo nai. Who said we were sending him as well? We are already waiting for Aoyama's acceptance letter. Besides, Takashi is sick. He won't ever be able to pilot a plane or be beneficial to the Garrison. He has little to offer."

I don't think I like that word, sick. I really don't think I like it.

...I still don't like it...

"Shikashi, kare wa hijō ni ōkina kanōsei o himete imasu. Kare ga gyarison ni ittara, kare wa manabudarou. Kare wa kare no byōki o torimakudarou. Kare wa totemo akaruku nesshinde, watashi wa kare ga sore o yaru koto ga dekiru to omou. But he has so much potential. If he went to the Garrison, he would learn. He would get around his illness. He is so bright and eager, I think he could do it."

At least someone here see's my potential and is willing to give me a chance. I don't have as many chances as my siblings. I don't have as many opportunities or expectations. That's why it's always fun to surprise them and surpass their expectations.

"Sore wa hontō kamo shirenaiga, kare wa nanika o hajimeru hitsuyō ga ari, chisei ijō no monodenakereba naranai. Soshite, kare wa tekisei o motte imasen. Kare ga yonde iru jūnikyū no kijidesu, soreha subete nisedesu. Atama ga kūsō de mitasa rete iru. 1-Shūkan ka 2-shūkan, kare wa kono supēsu fēzu kara nukedasudeshou. That may be true but he needs something to start off with and it should be more than intelligence. And he doesn't have an aptitude. It's the zodiac articles he's reading, it all fake. It's filling his head with fantasies. Give it a week or two and he'll get out of this space phase."

"Honkidesu ka? Watashi wa kare ga shubi-tai ni itta baai, kare wa akarui mirai o motsu koto ga dekiru to omou. Are you sure? I think he could have a bright future if he went to the Garrison."

"Kare ni anata no kibō o tsutaetainara,-saki ni susunde kudasai. Shikashi, watashi wa anata ni sōitte wa imasen. If you want to put your hope on him, go ahead, but don't say I didn't tell you so."

"Watashi wa anata ga totemo donkandearu to wa shinji raremasen. Watashi wa kare ga suuga, ikutsu ka no omoiyari o shimesu shitte iru! Kare wa doko ni iku? Kare wa jūjitsu shita jinsei o okurou! I can't believe you are being so insensitive. I know he is suck but show some compassion! This is going to follow him wherever he goes! Let him live a fulfilling life!"

"Kare no shozaichi wa Nihondesu. Kare wa hoka no min'na no yō ni kihon-tekina benkyō o shite ikudaroushi, kare wa futsūnoseikatsu o okurudarou. Anata ga nozomubeki Aoyamadesu. His place is here in Japan. He'll go though basic schooling like everyone else and he'll live a normal life. It is Aoyama you should be putting your hopes on."

I hear footsteps coming my way and I am frozen in fear. Like a small animal, I stay perfectly still. maybe they won't notice me. But it is too late. The screen door has already been pulled back and I look up to the disappointed face of my dad.

"Takashi." My father warns.

I look up at him and give him a weak smile.

"Nē, nani ga chichioyadesu ka? Hey, what's up dad?"

"Musuko, dorekurai kiita nodesu ka? Son, how much of that did you hear?"

"Ā, futari wa hanashite ita? Watashi wa kidzukanakatta. Oh, you two were talking? I didn't notice." I say stupidly. 

"Ī otokonoko, ima sugu neru. Good boy, now go back to bed." he says quietly. He closes the screen door and on the paper screen, I can see his shadow looming over me. Then he walks away.

Without saying a word, I turn around and scamper off to my shared room, the floor boards squeaking under my feet as I pad down the hallway.

When I'm sure no one can see or hear me anymore, I dash down the hall, slide the door open, hop in and close it as fast as I can. I hastily climb into bead and throw the covers over me where I wait until morning.

...the world begins to fade...something different comes up, I see a cloud filled sky and I hear a taunting voice....It sounds familiar...

I jump up, extending me arm out so far it hurts my shoulder. I reach up higher and higher, my fingers extended to the cloud filled sky. I can't reach it. He is holding it over my head and I can't reach it.

"Aoyama ni kite! Sore wa kōseide wa arimasen! Come on Aoyama! That isn't fair!" I whine.

"Anata no nenrei ga tarinai no wa watashi no seide wa arimasen. Well it's not my fault you're short for your age." Aoyama taunts, holding the book up higher. The shiny cover of the book glistens slightly, the pages flutter in the soft breeze.

"Watashi wa fusoku shite imasen. Watashi wa anata yori wakaku, sore dakedesu. I'm not short. I'm just younger than you, that's all."

And i'm not wrong. He is three years older than me anyway. He towers over me by a good six inches. And I am short for my age. I'm the shortest boy in my grade.

"Anata wa sore ni tsuite tashikani! You sure about that!" He mocks me.

"Watashi wa ima sore o kaesu kōtei-tekidesu! I'm positive now give it back!"

"Kono gensō o akirameru madede wa arimasen. Not until you give up this space fantasy."

"Watashitachi ga onaji mokuhyō no tame ni shageki shite iru toki, watashi no yabō o dono yō ni gensō to yobu koto ga dekimasu ka? How can you call my ambitions a fantasy when we are shooting for the same goal?"

"Watashi wa watashi no koto ga jōju surukarada. Anata no sōzō o anata no mokuhyō ya yabō to yobu koto ga dekimasuga, mama to papa wa watashi o okutte imasu. Anatade wa arimasen. I can because mine will come true. You can call your fantasies your goals or ambitions, but Mom and Dad are sending me. Not you."

It's true. We don't have the money. Aoyama is going to be sent to America the second we get his acceptance letter from the Galaxy Garrison. I can almost imagine the orange and dark grey symbol on a thick envelope with my brother's name on it.

"Watashi wa shitte iruga, watashi wa jibun jishin o shōmei surudarou. I know, but I'll prove myself." I say, swinging my arms up and jumping up with all my strength. I jump up higher than I was, my fingers grazing smoothly among the corner of the book.

"Sorede kōun. Good luck with that." Aoyama says, finally handing me the book. He shoves it into my hands, but not too hard of course. He's not that mean. He saunters off. He stops short for a moment and turns back to me.

"Anata wa anata ga shitte iru omoshiroi kodesu. Anata wa sōzō-ryoku ga amarini mo ōki sugimasu. You're a funny kid you know. You're imagination is just too much." He says with a laugh and he walks on.

I stare back at him as he walks off back to the house just past the creek. What happened? We used to be such good friends.   
I feel a drop of water on my nose. I look up to the cloudy sky to see subtle rain drops falling down around me. There is a low rumble of thunder in the distance and I run past the creek until I am following at my brother's heels.   
I am following his path to the Garrison. No one is stoping me.

...the distant showers of the summer sky and the creek disappear...in their place comes up a small kitchen where I see my mom and my sister...

"Watashi ga ikanakereba naranai! Watashi ga iku hitsuyō ga arimasu! Watashi wa migi ni iku koto ga dekimasu ka? I have to go! I need to go! I can go right?" I plead, my mom and sister working in the kitchen alongside me as we make soba noodles for ramen. 

"Watashi wa sō omou. Anata wa ōku no koto ni sainō ga arimasu. I think so. You are talented at many things." My mom says, ruffling my hair affectionately.

"Shikashi, Aoyama wa okura rete inai nodesu ka? But isn't Aoyama being sent?" Miho asks, spilling flour on her t shirt.

"Hai, shikashi, soreha taka mo iku koto ga dekiru to iu wakede wa arimasen. Yes, but that doesn't mean Taka can go as well." My mom says, wiping some flour off Miho's face.

"Shikashi, kare wa totemo chīsai. But he's so small-"

"Miho, kikitakunai. Takashi o shubi-tai ni ireru tame ni hataraku koto ga dekimasu. Sōde wa arimasen ka? Miho, I don't want to hear it. We can work to get Takashi into the Garrison. Isn't that right honey?"

"Hai! Yup!" I say, jumping up to the counter stool and sitting down.

"Soshite, anata ga hayakukara hajimereba, seikō no chansu ga fuemasu. And if we get you started early, you'll have a better chance for success."

"Shikashi, papa wa kare ga iku no o nozonde inai. But dad doesn't want him to go." Miho complains.

Miho gets up from her seat and goes over to mom. She whispers something to her. They think I can't hear them but I can.

"Kare wa byōkidearu. Kare wa chīsa sugiru. Kare o mite. He is sick. He is too small. Look at him."

"Watashi wa anata kara sore o kikitaku arimasen. Anata wa kare o hagemasu tame ni koko ni imasu. Anata no otōto o tasuketekudasai. I don't want to hear that from you. You are here to encourage him. Now go help your little brother."

Miho pouts and stands beside me, not doing much.

"Watashi wa kare ga iku koto ga dekinai to omou wakede wa arimasen. Kare ga... Anata wa shitte iru dakedesu. Soshite, otōsan wa kare ga ikubekida to wa omowanai. Watashitachi wa kare ni mimiwokatamukerubekidesu. Kare wa subete no tadashī ketsudan o kudasu. It's not that I think he can't go. It's just that he's...you know. And dad doesn't think he should go. We should listen to him. He makes all the right decisions."

Mom sets her hands on the table and lets out a sigh.

"Kare wa ishi kettei o suru. Sore wa hontōdesu ga, sore wa karera ga itsumo tadashī to wa kagirimasen. He makes decisions. That is true, but that doesn't mean they will always be right."

"Nan demo. Watashi wa shukudai o suru tsumoridesu. Whatever. I'm going to go do homework." Miho shrugs, walking away, leaving behind her apron and floured handprints in the counter. 

I grab a rag and start wiping the hand prints away.

Mom watches her go with a tired expression. After she leaves, mom turns to me. She smiles.

"Anata ga shinjirunaraba nani demo suru koto ga dekimasu. Korera no niku pan o konro ni setto suru no o tetsudatte kudasai You can do anything if you believe. Now come help me set these meat buns in the stove."

I jump out of my seat and bound over to her.

I'll help anyway I can. I'll prove myself.

...things shift again, I see green everywhere and there is no clear image around me...

I don't remember why, but I'm running through the woods so fast everything is all a green blur. Branches whip past me, smacking my face every so now and then. My leg gets caught on something and I trip, face planting into solid ground.   
I lay there, in a short daze before hastily getting back to my feet and running again. My purple t shirt is patched with dirt but I don't care. I just keep going, I keep running, I keep working, I keep striving to prove myself! I will prove myself! I'll get there I'll make the cut! I'll do it, 私はそれをやる！Watashi wa sore o yaru! I'll do it....i'll....do....it...

I stop running, my lungs burn for air. I skid to a stop under the canopy of trees and I breathe heavily. I'm almost there. My secret hideout in the woods. I promised myself I'd work on it later but I'm here because I'm a coward. I was kidding myself when I told myself I could do it. When I thought I could make it or be brave. The minute I saw the letter in his hand, I bolted.   
I knew I was out of there before the tears started pooling in my eyes. I wanted that letter so badly.   
They are right.   
I'll never go.   
I'll never make it.   
They're right. I am sick. Too sick. Too weak, too stupid, too small, too defenseless, too foolish. I'm a child. This is just a fantasy. I'll never touch the stars.

I dash into the weak wooden structure. I sink to my knees and I cry quietly. Why am I crying? I'm such a coward, hiding away. Dad was right all along. 

There is a snap of a branch and my heat looks up. I get to my feet again and I put my hands up.   
Out of the greenery, two people step out.   
One is holding a letter. 

"Aoyama, Miho, koko de futari wa nani? Aoyama, Miho, what are you doing here?!" I ask, trying to keep my voice level. I wipe away the tears from my eye but I'm probably just smearing dirt on my face.

Aoyama walks over to me and climbs into the small fort. I shift to the side to make room for him. Miho leans against the structure, just outside. There isn't room for her anyway.

"Sutekide jōbudesu. Warukunai. It's nice and sturdy. Not bad." Miho comments. 

"Korehanandesuka? Anata ga mori ni tateta toride? What is this? A fort you built in the woods?" Aoyama says, motioning vaguely to a pathetic wood structure over our heads. 

"... Hai. Watashi wa sore ga sōde wanai koto o shitte imasu - ...yeah. I know it's not that-"

"Ī ne. Anata wa yoi shokunin-waza o motte imasu. Sore wa anata no hiroi sōzō-ryokudenakereba narimasen. It's nice. You have good craftsmanship. It must be that wide imagination of yours." He says with a laugh, although it's not very enthusiastic.

"enkai wa sōzō-ryoku ga nakatta. Watashi wa sō omou. For the last time, I don't have imagination. I think, and I do." I say with a little more force than I intended.

"Shikashi, anata wa sore o saisho ni sōzō shite imasu yo ne? But you imagine it first, right?" Miho asks.

For some reason, I get upset. It's a childish thing to do but I'm abandoning all reason right now.   
I lash out in anger.

"Watashi wa kore o sōzō shite inai! Watashi wa hon o kaifū shite shigoto ni deta! Anata wa futari ga shirubeki koto! I didn't imagine this! I cracked open a book and got to work! Something you two should know about!"

"Tch. Watashi wa mainichi watashi wa sō shimasen. I do that every day don't I?"

"E e, gakkō wa muzukashiku, subete no shukudai - Yeah, school is hard and all the homework-"

"ANATA WA SORE O TE NI IREMASEN KA? Watashi ga ima made ni shita koto no subete wa, watashi ni yume ga arukaradesu! Hai? ! Watashi wa totemo ganbarimasu, amarini mo yonde, watashi wa hone ni jibun jishin o dōsa sa seru! Watashi wa yashin ga aru node, subete! Sōzō-ryokude wa arimasen! YOU DON'T GET IT DO YOU?! Everything I have ever done is because I have a dream! Okay?! I try so hard, I read so much, I work myself to the bone! All because I have ambition! Not an imagination!"

Aoyama and Miho taken back. They look shocked. I realize what I've done and I step back and apologize and bow. I half expect my brother to yell back at me and my sister to scold me. But nothing happens. I wait, bent at the waist so far it hurts. I feel someone push me back up. I look up to see that my brother isn't mad at all. Nor my sister. 

"Anata wa hontōni gyarison ni ikitaidesu ne. You really want to go to the Garrison, don't you?" He says sadly.

"Hai. Hai,-sōdesu. Yes. Yes I do."

"Takashi, monogoto ga kawatta. Watashi wa iku koto ga dekinai. Takashi, things have changed. I can't go." He whispers softly.

The breeze rustles leaves in the trees. Did I hear him right?

"Nani? ! Miho, koreha shinjitsude wa arimasen. Anata no hitori, sore wa hontōde wanai koto o oshietekudasai! What?! Miho, this isn't true. One of you, tell me that isn't true!"

"Watashi wa iku koto ga dekimasen. Koko de sore o mite kudasai. I can't go. Here, look at it." He says, handing something to me. With shaky hands, I take the letter. The paper is so thin. It should be more. It should be a huge envelop by its just a small paper.

"Sore wa anata no tegamidesu. It's your letter." I mumble, running my finger over the text, skimming the words.

"Karera wa watashi o kyohi shita. They rejected me."

"Naze? Why?"

Miho points to a text near the bottom.

"Kare wa kono yōken o nogashita. Kare wa eigo de hanashi tari, yon dari, kaku koto ga dekinakereba narimasendeshita. He missed this requirement. He needed to be able to speak, read and write in English."

"Shikashi, watashi wa dekimasen. But I can't." Aoyama says sadly.

"Watashitachi no dare mo, Okāsan matawa otōsan. None of us can, not even Mom or Dad." I say.

My stomach drops as I read   
"Shinsei ga kyohi sa remashita. Application has been denied."

"Gomen'nasai. I'm so sorry."

"Gomen" to iwanaide. There is no time to be sorry." He says sternly.

Aoyama grabs me by the shoulders, hard.

"Ā! Sore hodo muzukashikunai. Ow! Not so hard." I whine. 

Aoyama lets go immediately and Miho smacks him upside the head and pushes him to the side. She grabs my shoulders, but gently.

"Shinchō ni kiitekudasai. Anata wa The gyarison ni mōshikomu koto ga dekiru made shi-nenkan arimasu. Anata wa eigo o manabu hitsuyō ga arimasu. Anata wa gakkōniiku hitsuyō ga arimasu. Listen carefully Taka. You have four years until you can apply to The Garrison. You need to learn English. You need to go to school there." Miho says urgently.

"Shikashi, okāsan to otōsan wa watashi o sa semasen. But mom and dad won't let me." I mutter, brushing her hand away.

"Naze? Why?" Aoyama and Miho ask in unison.

"Ā, kite! Anata wa itsumo sore o anata jishin ni iu. Oh come on! You say it yourselves all the time."

They look at each other, confused. 

"Anata-tachi wa itsumo sore o oshietekureru. You guys tell me it all the time." I try to say, but it's getting hard to say anything. I can feel tears polling in my eyes and my throat close up as I hold back crying.

"Watashi wa byōkidesu... Watashi wa yowaidesu... Watashi wa jūbunde wa arimasen. Soshite, anata ga sorera no koto o iu toki, sore wa watashi o kizutsukeru. Watashi wa yori yoku shitai, watashi wa jibun jishin o shōmei shitaiga- I'm sick...I'm weak...I'm not good enough. And it hurts me when you say those things. I want to do better, I want to prove myself but when-"

They pull me into a hug before I can finish. 

"Watashi wa kesshite sore o imi shinakatta. Watashi wa anata o odoroka sete ita. I never meant it. I was teasing you."

"E e, sorehodo ki ni naranai to wa omowanakatta. Gomen'nasai. Yeah, I didn't think it would bother you so much. I'm sorry."

"Naze anata wa watashi ni totemo sutekina nodesu ka? Why are you being so nice to me?" I blurt out.

"Anata wa watashi no kyōdaidesu. Soshite, okāsan wa anata ni watashi no sekinin o bubun-teki ni otte irunode, watashi wa anata ga shippai suru koto wa dekimasen. You're my brother. And mom holds me partially responsible for you, so I can't have you fail." Aoyama says, teasing me still.

"Soshite, watashi ni tottemo onaji koto ga okorimasu. And same goes for me." Miho says with a giggle.

"Arigatō. Thanks." I say, sniffling and wiping a way tears. 

"Genkyū shinaide kudasai. Ima made no yō ni, shinaide kudasai. Don't mention it. Like ever, don't." Aoyama says flatly. He's not one to be affectionate I know. 

"Dakara mama to papa wa anata ga kyozetsu sa reta koto o shitte imasu ka? So do mom and dad know you have been rejected?"

"Īe, karera wa watashi ga koroshi ni iku toki ni watashi o korosu tsumoridesu. No. And they are going to kill me when they do."

"Nē, sore wa anata ga ikiiki to shite iru yōna monode wa arimasen. Hey, it's not like you're going to be skinned alive." 

"Tabun, okāsan to otōsan ga donari hajimeta toki, watashi wa mushiro ikite kita to omou. Maybe, but when mom and dad start ranting, I think I'd rather be skinned alive."

We all nod in agreement and get up. We head back to the house, leaving the letter behind.

...I don't think I ever saw that letter again, I'm glad I never did...

I sit down on the floor with a book in my lap. On the floor is an open notebook with my terrible handwriting inside. I cringe. I try copying a few words but the pencil falls out of my hand and rolls away from me.

"Un! Īkagen'ni shite Ugh! Come on!" 

"Benkyō wa dōdesu ka? How is studying going?" Miho asks me.

"Watashi no tegaki wa hidoidesu. Watashi no sensei wa, watashi no komoji no h no rukkusurain wa n to iimashita. Watashi wa sore o tadashiku eru koto ga dekinai! Soshite, ittai nani d to b! Watashi wa sorera o itsumo mazeru! Karera wa anata ga shitte iru arufabetto o yori sōzō-teki ni kaku koto ga dekimashita. Ugh, my handwriting is awful. My teacher told me that my lowercase h's look line n's. I can't seem to get it right! And what the heck is a d and b!? I get them mixed up all the time! They could've been more creative writing the alphabet you know." I complain, grabbing the pencil and writing again. 

"Ā, eigo no arufabetto o manabu no wa kantan'na hazudesu. Karera wa kigō ga sukunakute, kanji, katakana, hi-ra ga na o motsu node wa naku, hitotsu no shisutemu shika motte imasen. Amarini mo anata jishin no ue de hādo shinaide kudasai. Oh please, learning the English alphabet should be easy. They have fewer symbols and they just have one system instead of us having kanji, katakana, hiragana, wow we have a lot of writing systems. Don't be too hard on yourself." 

"U ̄ n, watashi wa jibun no namae o hotondo kakenai! Ugh, I can barely write my own name!"

"Watashi no tame ni sore o tsudzuru. Spell it out for me."

"Watashi ga tameshite mimasu. I'll try. T-A-K-A-S-H-I."

"Sate, anata no namae o kaku hōhō o oshietekudasai. Good, now show me how to write your name."

I sigh and tear off a sheet of paper and I place it between us. 

I take the pencil in my hand and I get to writing. I make a bar and a line going down for the uppercase T. I have no trouble with that at all, but then comes a lowercase a. I make a circle and a line at the edge but it looks sloppy. I go to erase it but Miho pushes my hand away. 

"Daijōbuda yo. Tachidomaru na. It's fine. Keep going." 

"Anata ga sō ittara. If you say so."

I touch the pencil to the paper again and write a lowercase k. It's crooked but it's not so bad I guess. But then there is another a! 

"Naze watashinonamaeha soreni takusan no namae o motte iru nodesu ka? Why does my name have so many a's in it!" I complain.

"Anata wa sore ni nareru yō ni naru. Kaki tsudzukeru. You'll get used to it. Keep writing."

I groan and keep going. I write a scribble of an s, an h and an i. Luckily i's aren't that hard for me.

"Sate, shirogane o kaku. Ok, now write Shirogane."

"UGH!"

...It was hard writing in English for the first time, don't get me started on cursive...and It was hard speaking English...

"Sā, anata wa sore o iu koto ga dekiru. Come on, you can say it." Aoyama encourages, nudging me slightly.

"Kore wa muzukashī kotodesu! Watashi wa kesshite kore o eigo de hatsuon shimasen! It's too hard! I'll never pronounce this in English!"

I'm standing in front of a mirror. I'm trying to speak English but I don't want to sound like an idiot. 

"Tabun watashi wa gyarison no tame ni kiritora rete inaidarou. Maybe I'm not cut out for the Garrison." I mutter, looking at my sad reflection.

"Ja, hai. Sakini, shippai suru yō ni. Fine then. Go ahead, be a failure." my brother says coldly and walks away. 

No! I can do this. I can try. I can do this! I take in a deep breath, and I try again.

"Hi, my name is Takashi Shirogane."

I sound terrible.

"Miru? Dekita ne! Sore hodo muzukashiku arimasendeshita. See? You did it! It wasn't so hard."

I laugh nervously.

"Watashi wa mada sore ni torikumu hitsuyō ga arimasu. Watashi no nihongo no akusento wa mada hyōji sa rete imasu. I still need to work on it. My Japanese accent is still showing."

"Dare mo kinishinai? Anata wa ōkina shinpo o togete imasu! Who cares? You are making great progress!"

"Hai. Shinpo, sorehodo warukunai. Okay. Progress, not bad so far."

...There were times when I didn't believe in myself...

"Mama watashi wa kore o okonau koto wa dekimasen! Watashi wa kesshite sore o tsukuru tsumori wanai! Mom I can't do this! I'm never going to make it!" I say, holding back tears of anguish. It's been two years. My application was supposed to be sent in after four. I'm going to get a rejection letter. I couldn't have possibly learned enough in two years!

"Son'na koto wa iwanaide! Anata ga dekinai to itte wa ikemasen. Anata ga sōshitara, anata wa sudeni jibun jishin o shippai sa sete shimaimasu. Anata ga seikō suru to iunara, anata wa shippai shimasen. Karera wa mada nani o itta no ka wakarimasen. Watashitachi wa anata no tegami o matsu dakedesu. Don't tell yourself that! Don't say that you can't. If you do, you already set yourself up to fail. You won't fail if you say you will succeed. We don't know what they said yet. We just have to keep waiting for your letter back."

"Shikashi watashitachi wa 2-nenkan hayaku shinsei-sho o okutta! But we sent my application in two years early!"

"Watashitachi wa anata no shiken tokuten, kenkō kiroku, fittonesutesuto no kekka o gyarison ni okutte, anata ga ryūgakusei no puroguramu ni dono yō ni shitagatte ita ka, soshite karera kara henshin sa reta toki o mimashita. Karera wa anata no shinsei-sho o sōki ni sōfu suru yō ni watashitachi ni motomemashita karera wa anata ni sainō ga aru to iimashita. We sent your test scores, health records and fitness test results to the Garrison to see how you were following the international student program and when we heard back from them. They asked us to send in your application early. They told us you are gifted."

"Watashi wa sainō ga arimasen! Watashi wa nanika ga umakunai! I'm not gifted! I'm not good at anything!"

"Anata wa ima made ni mita jidai ni danjiki sa reta saikyō no kodomodesu. Anata ga sukoshi chīsai nodeareba ki ni narimasu ka? Anata wa tsuyoidesu. Anata wa kōkō no kōrei-sha no tame no reberu de gakushū shite ori, anata wa hobo bairingarudesu. Anata ga jū ni-rinara dare ga kinisuru? Anata wa kenshin-tekina rōdō-shadeari, anata wa eizoku-tekide shinsetsudesu. Anata wa subete no hitsuyōna sukiru o motte imasu. Anata ga betsu no kuni no hitonara dare ga ki ni shimasu ka? Gyarison no hitobito wa, anata ga seichō suru no o mitai to omotte imasu. Anata wa soko de seichō shi, anata wa subarashī mono ni narudeshou. You are the fasted and strongest kid your age they have ever seen, who cares if you are a little small? You are strong. You are learning at a level meant for high school aged applicants and you are nearly bilingual. Who cares if you are twelve? You are a dedicated worker and you are persistent and kind. You have all the necessary skills. Who cares if you are from a different country? The people at the Garrison want to see you grow. You will grow there and you will become something great."

"Watashi ga sore o shinaito dō narimasu ka? Korehanani no tame no monona nodeshou ka? What if I don't make it in? Will all this have been for nothing?" I ask, my voice small. I can't bear to look at her I stare at my feet. 

"Īe, kichōna sukiru o manan dari, itsu demo 2-nenkan de ōbo suru koto ga dekimasu. No. you will have learned valuable skills and we can always re apply in two years."

"Mada watashi o aishimasu ka? Watashi ga anata ni shippaishita to shite mo? Will you still love me? Even if I failed you?"

My mom doesn't speak for a few moments, and then I feel her hand on my shoulder. 

"Naze anata wa kore o motomete iru nodesu ka? Toriireru ka dō ka, watashi wa itsumo anata o aishimasu. Koko ni ki nasai Takashi. Why are you asking this? Get in or not, I will always love you. Come here Takashi."

I rush forward into her arms. I let out a shameful sob of fear. I can't fail them, but what if I do? Dad will be so upset. 

"Subete ga daijōbu ni narimasu. Watashi wa sore o shitte iru. Monogoto o shinpaishinaide kudasai. Everything will be alright. I know it. Don't worry about a thing."

...I had help from my family...I would never be where I am without them...

The airport intercom speaker clicks. 

"Amerika no Arizona-shū tosukāna e no hikō wa genzai tōjō-chūdesu. The flight to Tuscan, Arizona in the USA is now boarding."

I hold my bags together and I look out the airport windows to see planes taking off. I might fly a jet one day. It's not a fantasy anymore. It's reality!

I turn back to my family. 

Aoyama and Miho rush forward and pull me into a back breaking hug. 

"Tasuketekurete arigatō. Watashi no tame ni jikan o gisei ni suru tame ni. Watashi no tame ni anata no kikai o akirameru tame ni. Thank you for helping me. For sacrificing time for me. For giving up your opportunities for me."

"Watashitachi sukunakutomo 1-ri wa chigai o umidasudarou. Watashi wa anata ga ureshīdesu. Shashin o ie ni okutte kudasai. Anata ga soko ni tsuitara shubi-tai o mitai. At least one us us is going to make a difference. I'm glad it's you. Send pictures home. I want to see the garrison when you get there."

"Mochiron. Of course." I say, remembering the Polaroid camera I bought for myself. I've always wanted one. I'll be sure to put it to good use at the Garrison.

My mom steps forward, tears in her eyes. 

"Anata o hokori ni omoimasu. Anata wa sore o kakutoku shimashita. I am so proud of you. You earned it." 

She hugs me and I hug her back just as fiercely. 

"Watashi ga jibun jishin o shinjiru koto ga dekinai toki, watashi o shinjite kurete arigatō'. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't believe in myself."

"Watashi wa itsumo anata o shinjiru yo'. I'll always believe in you."

She lets go and kisses my forehead. 

My dad steps up to me and he holds out his hand. I take his hand in mine, uncertain of what to do but he pulls me into a hug as well. Something I would never expect from my stoic father. 

"Watashi wa anata no kodomo o hokori ni omotte imasu. Anata wa umaku itta. I'm proud of you kid. You did well." He says gruffly, even though he means every word. I know it. 

"Arigatōgozaimashita. Anata wa watashi ni jibun jishin o shōmei suru riyū o ataemashita. Anata wa koko ni iru watashi no mottomojūyōna bubundeshita. Thank you. You gave me a reason to prove myself. You were the most important part of me being here."

...he always has been...whether I want to admit it or not...

"Anata wa jibun jishindearu koto o shōmei shimashitaga, anata wa genzai shubi-tai ni jibun jishin o shōmei suru hitsuyō ga arimasu. Watashitachi no kazoku no meiyo o sasageru. Anata dake no tamede wa naku, watashitachi no tame ni isan o tsukurimashou. Miho to Aoyama wa itsuka anata ni oitsukimasu. Sore ga kantandearu koto o kakunin suru. You have proven yourself, but you need to prove yourself to the Garrison now. Honor our family name. Make a legacy not just for yourself, but for all of us. Miho and Aoyama will catch up with you one day. Make sure it's easy for them."

"Shimasu. I will."

"Amerika no Arizona-shū tosukāna e no saigo no yobidashi. Last call for the flight to Tuscan, Arizona In the USA."

"Ima ikanakereba naranai. Watashi wa shashin o ie ni okurudeshou. Yakusoku shimasu! I have to go now. I will send pictures home. I promise!" I shout over my shoulder running to the gate.

"Watashitachi wa anata o aishitemasu! We love you!"

"Umaku yaru. Do well!"

"Isan o tsukuru! Make a legacy!"

That last line echoes in my head. Make a legacy. The long plane ride to America over crystal waters, what he said echoed in my voice. 

"遺産を作る Isan o tsukuru. Make a legacy."

Make a name for us. Make a reputation. Honor us.

"I'll make you all proud." I murmur to myself, not doubting m ability to speak English. 

 

But that was years ago. So many years ago. I need a mirror to see myself again. I need something to see myself through. To see how I've changed. I'm not a child anymore. I made my dreams real. I've acquired knowledge and relationships along the way. 

So here is the big question. 

Have I honored you? Mom, Dad? Miho, Aoyama? Are you proud of me?

Anata wa watashi o hokori ni omotte imasu ka?


	42. Closeted

Lance's POV

(Here is a shorter chapter filled with comic relief. Let's check up on our favorite bi boi!)

I was let go from the recovery room not too long ago. They gave me some clothes to wear. I'm happy I saved my jacket. I carefully slipped it over my shoulders and when the nurses weren't looking, I slipped out of my room and snuck down the hall. I try to build up the courage to go ahead and ask, but It's not as easy as I thought it would be.

I shouldn't be here. Maybe he's busy. Maybe I should walk away? But I'm already here.

I'm leaning against the wall outside Shiro's room. I thought I'd get up the courage to ask him but I guess not.

I lean against the door slightly and I hear someone sleeping.

I knew it. I waited too long. I screwed over my chance. Oh well, there is always tomorrow. I hope. 

"Lance? What are you doing here?" Someone says.

I look up to see Adam walking over to me from down the hall. I get nervous and my hands start sweating. I avert my eyes.

"H-hey, I uh, I just wanted to...never mind. I'll just go." I mutter, losing confidence. I try to walk past Adam and go back down the hall but he pulls me back with strength I didn't expect. He pulls me by the arm until I am standing in front of him face to face.

"I'm not taking that for an answer. Be assertive with yourself." He says firmly. Right, he'll always encourage us to ask for help when we need it.

He'll understand but I just can't face him. There are people around. They'll overhear us and we'll be exposed. I could hurt his career. I could hurt my own career before it officially begins. Unless being a paladin isn't a career and I'm going to have to get an actual job one day.

"It's not important." I mutter, trying to walk away again. Again, I am pulled back but this time with less force.

"Is it something just Shiro would understand?"

"Well, I mean yeah...I can ask later. He's sleeping."

"Okay, but you can ask me anything you know."

Adam used to be a teacher here. I used to have his class. I used to be in his class. He knew me when I was different so of course he's going to try to get me to stand up for myself now. Or do I look so pathetic it bothers him? The pressure is on. I'm getting nervous. Along the hallway, I think Adam seems to notice this. He slows down and starts talking to me again.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I just want to see you be assertive and open. I know you've been through a lot. You used to be so confident and forward with yourself. I miss that."

I avert my eyes and I stare at the floor taken aback. I didn't know he cared or even noticed me. I didn't know teachers took notice to things like that. Are they supposed to do that? And he remembered!

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. You just seemed like you really needed to know something or get something off your chest and I just want you to stand up for yourself. I have your back just like Shiro does."

I nod.

"Is this between you and Shiro? I won't shove myself into the conversation if it is really personal to the two of you,"

"Well, I mean, I can ask you about it. But can we go somewhere more, private?"

"Of course."

Adam and I walk down the hallway to an abandoned cafeteria. There are tables everywhere and we sit down facing each other far away from any doors where our voices could carry out into the hall. I could ruin everything if I talkd too loud.

"So whats up?" he asks. He makes this sound like this is a pep talk. Maybe it is. Maybe I need that.

"I, uh... It's hard to say. I know you'll get it but it's hard to get out." I stammer.

"Why?"

I bring my voice down low.

"I usually don't talk about it or say any of it out loud. I usually can't."

"Can you elabprate?"

"Look, If someone hears us I may put your career in danger."

"I think my career is dead. But also, I know where you're getting at." he says, matching my intensity.

"Well, yeah. It's a huge taboo. No one talked about it last time the was standing Garrison."

"I know. No one does still. And I don't think the UE Bases are much farther along with the subject."

I sigh. Adam looks concerned. He looks all around the room to make sure no one is listening. He speaks again, this time at his usual pace and volume.

"But I am not letting this go unacknowledged or forbidden. It's okay to talk about the LGBT community with me."

I nod feeling stupid. I keep nodding. I don't know what to say. Honestly, I haven't really opened up to many people about this subject and I'd never imagine I'd be talking about this with an former teacher of mine.

"You don't have to be afraid to talk about it with me or Takashi. I'm not going to pressure you to say anything but I don't want you walking on eggshells here."

I nod again, looking down at my hands. I can trust him right? I've trusted him in the past and he understood or gave me support. He's just anther person trying to help.

I take a breath and force it out.

"My family, everyone, what are they going to say about me when they find out that I'm bisexual? How do I tell them I'm with Keith?"

"There is never going to be a clear answer to that." he says sadly.

"Oh..."

"I'm sorry. I don't know your family all that well. But you do. It's up to you to decide to come out or not. Waiting is an option, and it is not a bad option but I know how hard it can be when people assume you are one thing and you have to hide who you really are. I know that really well."

I know that as well. It hurt hiding who I was while I was going through my closeted bi crisis. Did he go through a closet crisis?

"Are you still in the closet?"

"Well, the team knows. You know I'm gay. To my co workers and everyone at the Garrison, I stayed in the closet, except for a choice few. You should meet them one day. I'm sure they will have some great insight about what it's like being LGBT in the workplace."

"It's hard. I know that. Luckily there is a choice. You can stay in the closet. It's a safe option, but It's not a painless option. You can come out, but you now what the risks are. You have to think about what your family thinks of the LGBT community, if you know that or not.

"I don't. They never talked about it."

"I don't know your family, but think about this. But remember, you are always accepted by me. Any other questions?"

"Yeah, does your family know?"

"Yeah, most of them. My Dad and my step mom. My brother died before I figured everything out. My step mom's family doesn't know."

"And your dad's family?"

"I don't know who they are. I've never met them."

"Where are they?" I ask, slightly intrigued. I know Adam is biracial. I remember he had a small Brazil flag in his office but never the Saudi Arabia flag. Was he ashamed of his Arabian heritage? Is he still ashamed? Never mind. That's none of my business.

"In Saudi Arabia. Even if I knew them I would never come out to them, but don't worry about me. And don't worry so much over this. They are your family. I'm sure they will love you no matter what."

"Okay. Also, is it a dumb question to ask how you come out of the closet?"

"That isn't a dumb question. There are many ways to come out. You can be formal and gather your family around and give it to 'em straight, or shall I say, gay, bi or whatever you decide. You can also be creative. My dad always suggested I bring in confetti poppers to work so when I came out I would do with a bang."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He's a funny guy. He was really accepting of Takashi and I when we came out."

"Wow, that must've been nice."

"It was incredible. He was working at the Garrison at the time when the facility was going though a major conservative period. I was lucky to get into the Garrison, so was my dad."

"Was he an open LGBT ally?"

"Pretty much, if you talked about it with him outside of the Garrison he was fiercely supportive. We went to LA pride once and I swear, my dad carried a huge sign that said "Proud Of My Gay Son!"

"Wow!"

"I know. It was great."

"How did you come out of the closet?

"Ok, funny story. Actually no, it was really scary."

"What happened?"

"So Takashi and I were roommates. We dragged ourselves out of bed and to class thirty minutes to an hour early before the bell."

"Why?"

"Takashi is a morning person and I'm a night owl. If I had it my way we would be late for class all the time because of my sleep deprived ass but he was more disciplined than I ever was so he dragged me out of bed. So we got to class early just for the sake of being punctual to have some free time to ourselves and so we wouldn't get trampled in the halls. The halls didn't flood over until the bell rang. If we tried getting to class in that rush we would've been flattened to the ground. And it didn't matter that we were among the tallest and biggest kids of our class. So one day when we were 18 in our graduating year before we went to the conservatory, we got to class an hour early. We were dating in secret at the time. When Takashi thought no one was looking, he kissed me on the cheek but we were caught by a teacher we knew was an anti. We were sent to the office and we were going to be expelled."

"All that for a kiss?" I ask. When I was a cadet, there would be couples making out in the hall right and left! But of course, they were all straight couples. I knew no one in the LGBT community at the time.

"it's stupid, I know. Anyway, it scared the two of us half to death. My dad was called in. The teacher that saw us was Kovu. During my cadet years, he was only a lower ranking officer. My dad wasn't much higher but he had authority over Kovu. Thank god! My dad ordered him to stop from having us expelled. Takashi and I were seated outside where we could hear my dad and kovu argue."

Adam's expression becomes wistful.

"I don't think I ever heard my Dad shout so loudly and so angrily at another person. It terrified Takashi and I. To this day I don't know why he got so mad. I mean, he was protective of us but he just got so upset. And he would never yell at anyone without a really good reason. And even then, not like how he did. After that, my dad sat Takashi and I down to talk and he told us he supported us."

"What have Shiro's parent's said?"

Adam stops for a moment.

"Shiro's parents still don't know. He didn't tell you about it?"

"No."

"Oh. Well then, I know this is his story to tell but I'm just going to give you the basic problem."

Adam clears his throat for a second.

"Shiro hasn't come out to his family."

"Why? Are they just really far away?"

"Well, that. And he can't come out. Ever."

What? Why? Shiro is the most deserving of respect out of anyone I know. I know he might not see his family a lot but why can't he come out?

"His parent's are anti-LGBT."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."

"I'm sorry too. Well, the joke is on them really. Love is love. They just don't see it that way. If anything, be sorry for them."

"Okay, but why don't they like the LGBT community?"

"Honestly, I don' feel comfortable answering that because I'm not completely sure why and I don't want to give you wrong information. All I can say is he is the one you should ask."

From down the hall is the sharp rapping of what sounds like heels on the floor echoing closer and closer, louder and louder and more and more menacing. Adam and I go ridged.

"So going back to you coming out, tell Keith that you want to introduce him to your family. Talk about you two coming out. Oh by the way, what has Krolia said about you two?"

"She said she didn't get it but that she was happy if we were happy."

"So you are at least accepted on one side. That's good."

"Yeah, But I wish someone from my family was fiercely supported like your dad."

"Hmm, I have an idea. You call Shiro Space Dad from time to time."

"Well, yeah. He is our Space Dad. In a way...Is that really weird?"

"No, I think it's cute. So if he's space dad, I'll be your...Earth Dad? Yeah. Shiro and I are now you Space and Earth Dads.We're super gay and we got your back!"

I laugh.

"Thanks. But also, I have one last question.


	43. Abandoned

Keith's POV

(Lets check up on our favorite angry son)

Where is Lance!? I pace back and forth in my room! He said he was getting back soon. He said he just needed a quick word with Shiro. It's been half an hour! I walk up and down the room. Ugh, I'm getting pissed and this is not going to go well for us. What was he going to ask Shiro anyway? It doesn't matter. I'm going to go find him.  
I throw the door open and start down the hall, the heels of my shoes echoing hollowly in the halls past the cafeteria, past the meeting rooms and to the other side of the building to Shiro's recovery room. Our rooms are so spread apart! Why did they do that to us?!   
My heels hurt I am stomping down on the ground so hard as I go.   
Just when I've made it halfway and it feels like forever, I come to a stop and realization hits me. I ask myself:  
Why am I so angry? Why am I so upset? Why am I so desperate to have him back at my side?  
I look to my right suddenly. There is a door to a recovery room.  
It belongs to my mom. I know she's resting and I shouldn't bother her but why if...  
This has to do with her?  
Leaving me?  
How I once lost everything?

I can't loose Lance. Won't loose Lance. I can't push him away from me but how do I not do that? I know that he's promised to stay with me but I always question it in the back of my mind. Is it wrong? Is it right? Am I being clingy? Am I note trying hard enough!   
Am I just not....good enough? Where is this going to take me? Where are headed to together? All I see is now and I'm not liking it as much because I'm getting in the way of my own comfort and happiness. I need to talk to someone who knows what it means to be in a relationship.   
I hate to say this but I think I need relationship advice from Shiro.

I continue down the halls with a set destination in mind. I walk straight, Well, not really. You know what I mean. I continue down the same hallway until I get to the last room.  
I quietly knock on the door.

"Shiro?"

No answer.

"Shiro?"

"He's not awake yet." Says a quiet voice. It's scares me and I jump up and reflexively spin around and put my hands up ready for a fight.

"Okay cool it. I wasn't going to do anything to you." He says although he reflexively tenses up.

It's Adam. I relax.

"Don't scare me like that!" I whisper shout.

"Ok. Sorry, Takashi isn't awake. Did you want to see him about something?"

"Yeah." I mutter dejectedly. Now I'm going to have to go back and find Lance and talk about this with him on my own. Great.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" He ask. Genuinely, he's good at advice. Too good.

"Um, where's Lance?"

"He's just going back down the hall. He was going to go see you."

"Oh come on!" I groan facepalming. I always leave at the worst times.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." I say trying to have him off.

"That's a lie. I see it on your face. So spill."

"It's none of your business." I say without thinking about my words. Things just come out that way.

Adam doesn't speak for a while. He just looks at me, analyzing me. I hate it when he does that. He's too analytical for his own good.

"You seem to be in a bad mood. If you really want it, I'll wake up Takashi and I can leave you two to talk."

"No. He needs rest."

"It's good you can see that but see here. I won't make you talk to me but i'm here for you. You just fight off everything and everyone like it's all going to be bad for you in the end. It's not of you work on it and communicate."

"Fine. I guess you'll understand." I sigh.

"Again, I'm not making you talk." He says in defense.

"No. If I'm going to go back to lance I need to get advice about this."

"Okay." He says, sounding slightly worried for me.

I take a deep breath in and I let it go.

"I need relationship advice." I say trying to hide an embarrassed blush.

"And you were seriously gong to go ask Takashi for that?! You know he's terrible for relationship advice!" He exclaims. Thank god he's not judging me for needing this.

"Oh yeah." I say, remembering all the terrible advice I got from Shiro. One big thing I learned is that people are definitely not into knifes. Don't ask me about what happened. Please, just don't.

"Ok, spill the tea. Let's get to the romance." He says getting a little eager. I try to convince myself this wasn't a mistake.

"I...I feel so nervous when Lance isn't around. I know I can trust him but there is always something in the back of my mind that says he's going up leave me, or something is going to happen to him. We are in a war, what if I go into a fight and never see him again?"

"Damn, that's some intense stuff. Being serious now, that is an honest fear. There is nothing wrong about how you feel. Considering we are Paladins, it's a tough war to be in. And your past, I know where you are coming from."

"But it's never been this bad. Am I worrying too much? Being clingy? Is this wrong?" I am steadily getting desperate.

"Ok slow down. Relationships are never easy and two people don't click together like puzzle pieces right away and there are always tough moments. Your fears are not wrong. It only gets bad if you let it control your actions."

"But everything I do is based on fear. Fighting the war, being in a relationship, staying close to my mom, staying close to Shiro."

I make a strong point and Adam thinks I'm if for a few seconds.

"Your actions will always be influenced by fear but aren't they influenced by love as well?" He asks. God he is such a romanticizer!

"Huh?" I say stupidly.

"I'm sorry to get cheesy with this but it's true. Our emotions and feelings play a huge role in our actions but they have to balance with rationality. I have the problem where my emotions go overboard sometimes. I screwed up that way a lot. Overthinking your actions is going to happen. Not knowing if it's the right thing to do is a start but it's good because you are aware that you have an affect on others."

"How do I get a good affect? How do I do the right thing? How do I trust that Lance isn't going to slip away from me?"

"Trust issues are hard to get over. Trust is hard to build. Just think. You get the love and support you show, right? To show it, be honest, be kind, be rational. Balance rationality with your emotions. Think if something is smart, then think if it is moral. Does this help?"

"A lot actually."

"Good." He says.

"Are you confident this will work?"

"I've used it in my relationship with Takashi for years. It's why we've been together so long. If I didn't use both those things, we would all be in a different place. Another thing thing to remember is communication is key."

I nod.

"And also, if you've screwed up as many times as I have, it would be hard not to learn from them."

"Screwed up? You two have a perfect relationship."

"Keith, no relationship is absolutely perfect. As perfect as we may seem, you don't know how many times the two of us have screwed up together. The thing that helped us stay connected was we talked through our issues, I remained calm and rational, and so did he. And we helped eachother. When one of us falls short, we pick the other up."

"And if you can't?" I ask.

He laughs a little.

"Lay down beside them and talk it out. That's making it literal but you get the point. You and Lance have a great relationship already. I can see that you guys are happy. If I were you, I wouldn't be so worried. You guys will last."

"And how do I know how long this is going to last? I'm sure you and Shiro never went into your relationship thinking you'd make it so far."

"That's true. But I need ask you how far are you willing to go with Lance? How long do you think you could stay with him?"

"I don't know. I can't see that far into the future at the moment."

All I see is war. There is no clear end to this anymore. It's like looking through ash, open fire, and falling bodies and blood to see the end. I can't see through all that.   
All I can do is brave through it with Lance and the team.

"Think about it." He says.

And I do. For a long long time.

"Oh, by the way, I was wondering about something else..." I say.


	44. Afraid

Hunk's POV

(HIIII! I've seriously been meaning to make an Arc centering around Hunk and it begins now! Let's see how our favorite paladin is doing)

I hum gently to the tune of a song I don't remember much, but I know the melody is there. The sound of the mixer whirs in the background. I measure two cups of flour and dump it into a bowl, a small cloud forming and dusting my hands. I'm baking for about the third time today. I don't know why but I just can't get rid of these nerves in my stomach. I've tried to get rid of it in ways I know have worked in the past but they just don't seem to work. 

I can't get these worries and fears out of my head. Terrifying images flash in my mind and my hands shake so hard I nearly drop the measuring cup on the floor. I set it down gently and I try to stop the shaking. My breath gets a little short and my thoughts rage even more.

Images and thoughts of the war, of what it would look like if we lost. Where would my friends, my teammates go? What would happen to the Earth? What would happen if everyone in the universe fell to Zarkon. Would the Balmera would make it out of it alive, would it last? If the Balmerans..if Shay didn't...NO! NO STOP!

My hand lets go of the glass measuring cup and it falls to the floor, shattering into a million little pieces. It sounds like a window is being shattered! It sounds like open fire! I panic and I freeze in place, too terrified to move, the surge of nerves in my stomach rises and I feel like I'm going to be sick. I hear footsteps coming down the hall. They are getting louder and louder and louder! Have they found me? Are they here to kill me!? Have they killed everyone else!? They are getting closer and closer and closer! What is going to happen to me!? 

Suddenly the footsteps stop. And there is three hallow knocks on the door. 

"Hey, is someone in there?" someone calls. I don't know their intentions. I don't know who they are. Are they armed? How many of them are there? I hear the gently squeak of the door and gentle footfalls enter the room. 

There is only one of them. I think. Maybe I can get out alive! What do I have to save me? Bowls? I frantically look around.

"God, this place is a mess." they mutter. There is the clinking of shattered glass on the ground. That's it! There is a jagged shard beside me. I grab for it and I hold it in my hand, gripping it so hard I can feel my hand bleed, but i'll catch them by surprise! I'll jump out and throw the glass and I'll make a run for it! I will! 

One, Two...

"Hunk?"

"AHHHHHH PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!" I scream, shielding my eyes and dropping the glass.

"What? Kill you? Why would I do that?"

I don't move, I stay where I am, my muscles cramping up from being so tensed.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." the gentle voice says. I feel someone gently touch my shoulder. I lover my hands from my face and I look up to see Adam kneeling down beside me. I let my arms slowly drop and I rest them in my lap. 

"Is everything okay?" he asks, his voice thick with concern. 

I look down at my hands. They are trembling and bloody. I wince. Adam reaches to my hands to cover them.

"It's okay. Just breathe. Let's run some water over your hands."

He helps me up and takes me to a sink and runs cold water over my hands. It stings as he uses antibacterial soap and gently washes the cuts. When all the red is washed down the sink, Adam grabs a clean towel and presses it to my hands.

"Put pressure on it for at least fifteen minutes. The cut's didn't look that bad to me but I just want to make sure they stop bleeding." 

I nod, still struggling to find my breath. Adam pulls up a chair and sits me down as I try to collect myself.

"You okay?" he asks. 

I shake my head. I can't bring myself to look up at him. 

"So Takashi told me you like to bake when you're nervous. Considering the fact that you've probably been here all morning, something is on your mind."

I nod. 

Adam get's up and pulls a broom and dustpan from out of the corner of the room. 

"Have I ever told you how awful he is at cooking?"

"no." I mumble.

Adam's starts to sweep up the glass. The shards clinking together makes me cringe, but he keeps on talking, providing a distraction for me.

"So in our cadet years, we used to go to the cafeteria for food but every so now and then we would sneak out of the Garrison and go into the nearest town which is Tuscon. But don't tell Sanda that. She'll get really mad at me."

"But Tuscon is a good 16 miles away." 

"Takashi and I built out own hover bikes. So we would sneak out in the middle of the night to a corner store. We got caught once and then we stopped doing it but this one time, Takashi got hungry and got ramen."

"The kind where you cook it in boiling water?" I ask.

"Yeah, that kind. So when we got back, we snuck into the teacher's lounge and put the ramen in a bowl and water and put it in the microwave. But get this, the bowl was made of metal!"

I laugh a little, lightening up and Adam dumps the glass into the waste bin.

"The microwave bursts into flames!"

"No way."

"Yes, it does. And you should've been there to see the look on his face when it happened! So I'm sitting there, Takashi is freaking out, cursing in Japanese right and left trying to put the fire out and then the teachers arrive at one in the morning and I'm sitting here like 'I didn't do this!'"

"How badly did you two get in trouble?"

"Oh man, our hover bikes were confiscated until we graduated and the story spread all over the school. Now, Takashi refuses to try and make his own ramen and he still doesn't really trust microwaves."

I laugh, forgetting my worries. 

"Thanks for cleaning the mess up." I say, scratching the back of my neck.

"No problem. I just want to make sure you're okay." he says. Adam pulls up a chair and sits down in front of me.

"So getting a little more serious, are you better now?"

"A lot. That's for distracting me as well."

"Of course. You want to talk about what happened?" he says, concerned. 

I sigh. I don't want to talk about it but I guess I have no choice. 

"After we got captured, It really hit me how we are really putting our lives on the line. What we risk. It just makes me think of all the people we have saved. In our absence, are they okay? Did something happen? I just...get so scared."

"That sounds like a lot."

"It is." I mumble. "One of our earlier missions, we saved a living creature called a Balmera. An alien civilization lives on the Balmera and I befriended on of them. Her name is Shay and she is so incredibly funny, and nice, she's easy to talk to and..." my voice trails off.

I realize that I'm blushing. 

"Well, I guess I...like her? I'm just worried if something might've happened to her. Now that the lion's are down, I can't communicate with her anymore. I fear that something bad might've happened to her. And then I'm in constant fear for my life. It just get's overwhelming. My hands start shaking and then I drop what I'm holding. I just go into a panic and it's like it's the end of the world for me."

I hold my head in my hands, and then I feel Adam's hand on my shoulder. 

"I know where you are coming from. I know that fear can get overwhelming, but you are not alone in that fear. At the moment, we are safe. Our radar can't detect any Galrans in close proximity." he assures. 

"Then where are they?" I ask, looking up. "Where did they go? When are they going to strike? Will we be ready?" i ask, getting on edge again. 

"I can't say. I don't know either. I'm terrified as well." he confesses, his shoulders falling slightly.

I look down again. This is hopeless. We are going to lose this war. 

"But, I can't say that we are doomed. We have each other. We have the team and we are working together, aren't we?" 

"Yeah but we have nothing." I say, loosing hope.

"At the moment, we could be in better situations, but the garrison is working to get us back in the fight. We can't loose hope. From what I head from Takashi, you guys became a symbol of hope for the universe. You guys made a huge impact on everyone you met. You've saved civilizations. You gave everyone a reason to fight. Now you need a reason to not give up hope."

"What reason would that be?" I ask.

"Shay." He says simply. 

I look up again. Adam extends his hand to me and he takes the towel off of my hand. There is a splotch of blood on the fabric and my hand throbs faintly, but the bleeding has stopped. 

"Keep going for her. I'll tell you something about fear. You can let it get in the way. You can let fear scare you away from doing something great. But it doesn't stop you only when you don't let it stop you. Now let me ask you this, when you were traveling the universe, were you scared?" 

"I was so terrified and scared I thought I'd bail and go home. I thought I'd die in battle." I admit. There really were times when I just wanted to jump into my lion and go home. I don't know to be happy if I didn't or not. 

Adam pulls out a bandage and takes my hand. He put neosporin in some bandages and he wraps the cut in gauze until the bandages are secure. 

"Now why didn't you?" he asks. 

"I don't know why. To run and hide would be wrong. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't leave my team." I say, immediately feeling guilty that I ever considered running from the fight. 

"And that's why you have nothing to fear. You aren't alone. Your team gave you hope to keep going in the mids of fear. Your team helped you to stop letting fear control you. We have your back. Always. Did you ever loose hope?"

"Yes. To many times to even count."

"And did you ever get it back?" he asks.

I faintly remember Shiro's pep talks and staying positive. The motivation and hope he gave us. The motivation and hope we gave everyone. It fueled us all. The more we gave, the more we got back. 

"Yeah. From my team. From everyone." I admit. 

"So as long as we are a team, we are not going down. We can't loose when we are together. But I understand that sometimes even a team can't calm certain fears you might have. If it ever gets overwhelming, and trust me, it does, talk to us. We have your back and we want you to be okay. So keep fighting, for the team, for everyone, for Shay." 

Adam extends his left hand out to me. I take it in my non injured hand and he helps me to my feet. 

"To give and receive hope doesn't always take much. Here, catch."

Adam lightly tosses a muffin my way. I catch it. It was from one of my earlier batches. It's still warm in my hands. 

"And don't forget to rest. You can't always maintain a high attitude or scene of hope. It drains out every now and then and sometimes it doesn't return for a long long time, but it won't always stay empty. You'll find hope and peace again. Even in the midst of a war." he says.

I nod, taking a bite of the muffin. It is still warm and the warm and spicy taste of cinnamon fills my mouth. I savor the taste before swallowing, feeling a little better. 

"And I'll tell you another thing. We are all terrified deep down. There is always something eating at us as individuals, but you guys have made it so far because you leaned on one another. So keep doing just that. I'm always available if you want to talk about something. And Takashi as well."

I nod. 

"By the way, these muffins are amazing! I was going to see Pidge. Could I take some with me to give to her? She's been having a particularly rough time."

"Sure." 

Adam takes a few pastries in a napkin. 

"You good now?"

I go to say yes, but then I remember something. 

"Well actually..."


	45. Lost

Pidge's POV

(Hunk's arc is running alongside Pidge's arc. Her arc starts now so lets see how our favorite Pidgeon is doing)

 

I pull the covers over my head and I nestle farther in to the pillows. The lights are off, it's dark, there is no noise, and everything is nice and warm. I try to fall asleep. But I can't. It's been three days since I've gotten back from the last event and I can't sleep. If I even doze off for a moment, I have a nightmare. It's always of the same thing! I've thought it over and over but I just don't know what it all means!

For some reason in this dream, I am fighting in the Green Lion in the battle that ends the war. Shiro calls for me to use the vine cannon. I use it against Zarkon's main ship but the vine cannon backfires and the shot rebounds and hit's me instead. Vines begin to cover the lion's sight and even starts growing inside the lion! Vines starts wrapping around my wrists and angles locking me in the pilot chair. I try to move but I can't. I can't even pilot the lion anymore! Eventually, we have to land and everyone has to come in and rescue me, but nothing works. Not even Shiro's arm! Keith's blade can't cut through anything, neither Hunk's nor Lance's guns can shoot through the vines. They even use my own bayard and nothing happens. Eventually, they decide to leave me there.

And they don't come back.

The vines don't stop growing around me. They wound around my body so tight, it cuts into me. Eventually, fingers begin to fall off. Then my hands. It goes until nothing is left of me. And then when there is nothing left, the team comes back, they clear the vines away, and someone new steps in and takes my place.

I can never see their face.

It scares me.

I keep waiting up screaming from that dream every time. I brush off vines that aren't even there, I check if My limbs are still attached to my body. I don't leave this room anymore. I don't let in any light. I refuse to talk to anyone. I don't even want to go near the lions anymore! Everyone is just going to leave me to die. They can't help me. Nothing can help me.

Suddenly the light flicks on. I wince and bundle under that covers even more.

"Hey, Pidge?" Someone asks, their voice soft.

"Go away."

"You sure you want me to leave? I brought some muffins Hunk made. They have peanut butter. Your favorite."

"Go away Adam!"

I hear him sigh and set down something on the stand beside the hospital bed. Then I feel the mattress sink down.

"Are you really sure about that? You haven't been doing so well. I just wanted to check in on how you've been. I'm worried about you."

Do you care? Do you really care? Are you the person in my dreams taking my place? Is that what I fear?

"Just go away! Why should you care?"

"I'm worried about you."

I let out a sob I didn't realize I was holding in.

"What's wrong? I want to help you but I can't help you if you don't let me."

Through the fabric of the sheets I feel someone touch my shoulder. I flinch away.

"I don't need help! Go away!"

Adam lets go.

"Alright. But asking for help doesn't make you weak or invalid. I don't see you that way. I could never see you that way." He says.

Weight lifts off the mattress and I can hear gentle footsteps walking away.

"What?" I ask without giving it much thought.

The footsteps stop.

"I said I could never see you as invalid for needing help. I'll never stop offering you my help. I won't turn away, but I'll leave you be if you want me to."

Why?! Why is he saying that?! Is he lying?!

I pull the sheet from off of me.

"And how do I know this isn't a lie!?" I challenge.

Where is this anger coming from? Where is this aggression coming from? It's never been there before. What's happening to me?!

"Want to find out if I'm lying?" He says, a hint of challenge in his voice.

It makes me sick but I don't know why!?

"Show me." I say lowly.

"Okay. Ask for help." He replies simply.

"Fine. Help me."

"Ok, sure. Are you convinced now?" He says.

"What are you getting at?" I growl.

Did I just growl? Why did it come out that way?! Why am I so upset? I don't even know why?!

"I won't know what I'm getting at until you know what you're getting at." He says simply. Is he amused by this? Does he think i'm stupid?!

But I don't know what I'm getting at. I stop. I really don't know what's wrong with me. What's happening?!

"What's wrong? I just want to make it better." He says honestly.

"There is nothing to make better! I'm fine!" I shout. I step out of bead and I get low. I don't know why but I ready myself for a fight.

"Do you even know what's wrong?" He asks.

Oh no. He can see through me. He can see right though me! There is no hiding!

"Yeah I know what's wrong!" I lie. Can he tell I'm lying?!

"Then what is it?"

"I...nothing! I'm fine."

"But you just said something was wrong." He says taking a step toward me. I get nervous and I feel like I'm on the edge of something dangerous!

I grab his arms and I hold them tightly.

"Stop this! Go away!" I cry pushing him back.

Adam falters only for a step and then finds a stronghold in his stance.

"I gave you a chance to let me leave but you held on. I'm not going until this is resolved." He says sternly.

"No! Just go away!"

"Don't say that. You know you don't want me to go. You may be fighting me but you don't want me to leave you alone. You don't want to be alone. I know it."

"You don't know anything about me!" I shout. I back away until I feel a wall behind me.

There is nowhere to go! There is nowhere to hide! Will I have to hurt him to get out! Is he trapping me?!   
Adam doesn't come any closer to me. He stays where he is. But is he always going to stay that distance from me?

"That's true. But you don't know anything about me. So I'll tell you something about me. We aren't too different."

"We are very different! Don't tell me anything about being the same!" I shout.

"I didn't say we are the same. I just said that we aren't too different. I've been in similar situations." He shouts back, matching my tone, my level of intensity.

"I've had similar fears."

His stance weakens and he lets his physical guard drop.

"I've felt similar things."

His voice is quieter now.

"I can't say I completely understand where you are, but I can tell you that I've been in similar positions. If you can't tell me what is going on, I'll guess. Okay? I won't come any closer, I won't hurt you. I'm just here to help. Like I said before."

Adam takes one more step back, giving me more space.

"I won't see you as any less than you are for needing help, or feeling what you feel. Will you let me try to help you?" He asks.

My breath hitches in my throat.

I nod. Although I don't know why.

"Okay. Let me start of by telling you about something that happened to me when I was around your age."

My muscles cramp from tensing so much. I let them loosen but I don't change my footing or my ready stance.

"I...went into a depression. It comes back around from time to time, but it hit me hard when I was really young. How old was I? Thirteen? Yeah, that sounds right. It lasted for about a year. So I was thirteen. Now you know that I entered the Garrison two years early, I lost my mom, my dad remarried, I had a step brother, and I was always trying to prove myself. But I also was beginning to battle with something. At the time I had no idea what it was."

This sounds familiar. Slightly different but familiar.

"My problem was I really liked Takashi. I held him closest to me than any other person I knew. I couldn't put it into words at the time but after years of thinking it over, I realized I was infatuated by him. And at the time I didn't know that. One day, I was watching Takashi in gym class. I guess I was staring. After class, some of the other students called me gay. They bullied me. Shoved me up against a locker and called me a f-g and I didn't know what it all meant."

Adam's tone gets sadder and sadder as it goes on.

"All I knew was I just really liked him. I just, everything about him just interested me. Intrigued me. I would've called it a special interest but day by day I was actually falling in love."

Okay this doesn't apply to me.

"Now that might not be the case for you right now but hear me out. Please. I'm going to make a point after this story is over. After that bad encounter, I searched up what those words meant and I was...so very ashamed to be called those things."

Adam suddenly becomes vulnerable. In the way he speaks, in the way he stands, in the way he looks just gives off a sense of vulnerability. I feel my muscles loosen and I let my guard down. He just looks so....  
sad.

"I didn't know what it meant to like someone of the same sex. At the Garrison, they always told me it was wrong. For a time I believed it was wrong. I started avoiding people. I began to sleep less, eat less. I didn't want to let Takashi go so I compensated for my confusion and ate less and pushed myself more just to be liked. So kids wouldn't call me gay anymore."

I haven't been eating. I haven't been sleeping. I haven't been talking to people. Does he know how it feels to fall asleep starved?

"As I went along with this I never told anyone of this. Not even my dad. It used to be I would always go to my dad, but if the a Garrison told you that being gay was a sin, you would think he agreed. Right?"

I feel myself nodding along.

"So I hid. After weeks of starving myself just to be liked, Takashi was noticing this. The teachers were noticing this. They all constantly worried about me and reached out to me but I waved them off and told them I was fine. I lying. Finally, it made sense in my head that what I was doing to myself wasn't working. What was emotional pain became physical pain and it increased every time someone tried to help me because I felt worthless in their eyes. So to get people to stop worrying about me, I began eating again. But the story doesn't end there. It doesn't end for a long long time."

It doesn't? How long is this? How long did he go through this? How long have I been going though this?

"Through our this I never communicated what was wrong. I still thought that being gay was wrong. When I realized that not eating didn't fix anything, I was convinced that I was worthless. For the I...hated myself. What made it worse was that I started to consider that I was gay. That I was truly infatuated by Takashi. I didn't want to admit it. But everyday I hated myself more and more when I would get nervous every time he got close to me. Soon, every moment I spent with Takashi was ruined by these thoughts. And Takashi was worried about me and it made me feel even worse. So i did the stupid thing and decided that it was best that I broke off all my ties to him."

"No."

"I did. I asked him to meet me at the roof but I never showed up. I just left a note for him. In it didn't even communicate what was really going on. How I really felt, what I was fearing. I just told him that we couldn't be friend anymore. And that hurt him. It hurt me."

"Is there more?"

"Oh yeah. There's more. So after that, I stopped talking with people. I avoided contact. I avoided conversations and my grades suffered because I didn't participate in group projects. At lunch I would start seeing Takashi make new friends and they would always have fun without me. That night when I saw that, I just, hated myself. So much. One day during chemistry class, some kid was bothering me. He was getting on my nerves by whispering to me just these...awful things. He called me antisocial, gay, he told me I should drop out. So did something I regret to this very day."

"What did you did you do?"

Adam's fists clench tightly and then relax multiple times. It's like he's struggling to find the words. And then he speaks again.

"I turned around and I punished him right in the mouth. It was quick, and it was silent. I stunned him silent. I turned around and continued back to my work. He never messed with me again. None of the teachers saw it so I didn't get punished, however, Takashi saw me hit him. After that class he pulled me aside and talked to me. It was the first time he talked to me in weeks. He told me how worried he was for me, and you know what I said to him?"

I look up at Adam. He looks incredibly sad and regretful.

"I told him I didn't believe him. I told him he was a liar."

"No."

"I did. I said it to his face and I was going to walk away when he pulled me back to him. He told me he wasn't going to give up on me. From that day on he stuck by my side whether I liked it or not. I think it was that night that I just gave up. I admitted to myself that I was gay and that I had fallen in love with Takashi. I started hanging out with him again but I still hated myself."

I slowly step away from the wall.

"After that, I started to accept myself. With Takashi back in my life, he pushed me to get out of whatever was going on with me. I still didn't tell anyone though. That's what really held me back. There was another time when another group of students were picking on the two of us. Parficylarly Takashi and I just..."

Adam trails off. I can see him getting upset. Probably about something he did or what happened.

"He was being xenophobic and I just lost it again. If you were to hear what happened from a teacher they would have told you I violently attacked the guy. I would have to agree."

Adam? Attacking another person? But he is so calm and level headed most of the time. Sure he can be temperamental but that has been lessening the past week.

"I don't remember why but all I know was that in a flash I was pinning him against a wall, twisting his arm behind his back and he was screaming and crying. What scared me years later was realizing that I did was at the time of the event didn't care if I hurt him or not. I would've broken his arm if Takashi didn't rip me away from the fight. He pulled me into the bathroom and he was really really mad at me. He literally pushed me up against a wall, slapped me in the face and started yelling at me and interrogating me."

"He did that to you?"

"It was necessary I guess. He yelled and yelled at me until I, broke down crying. I broke at that point, I had no where to hide, I had nothing to hide behind. I hurt someone I turned into something I never wanted to be. I was so sick of myself so I just let my walls down and I told him that this all stemmed from my fear of being gay and turning out gay."

"I...I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. This whole ordeal was my fault. I brought it on myself and what really worsened the problem was I did not communicate to anyone. I pushed them away. To this day many of my old classmates refuse to talk to me after what I did as a kid. Even if I apologized or tried to make it up to them they won't let me in. I carry so much regret with me and I can't forgive myself for what I've done so spend every chance now fixing it or bettering myself or reaching out to people like you so you don't have to grow up with that fear."

Adam's voice begins to break.

"That self hate, that isolation. That thing that turns you into a monster."

Adam takes a breath to collect himself.

"I was lucky to come out of that and reflect that I was wrong. I am lucky to see it in others that there is something going on so I can help. No one deserves to go through what I did. In a way, I am stronger now but..."

Adam takes a shaky breath.

"I don't want you to go though that because coming out of it a better person doesn't always happen to everyone. I just want you to be happy, and when you aren't, to just let people in. Let them in so they can help you. I'll never stop reaching out and trying to help you. Okay? I won't give up on you. So please, tell me what is going on."

I realize that there are tears in my eyes. I wipe them away as quickly as I realized thy were there.

"I...I don't know. I don't know why I go aggressive. I'm sorry." I cry, bursting into tears.

"Don't be sorry. I'm lucky I saw this now. Will you let me hug you?" He asks.

From my tears I look up to see Adam's arms are open. Not even giving it a second thought I just run to him and I let him hug me.

And I cry. For a long long time.

"I don't know what's wrong!" I cry.

"It's okay not to know, but try and think. Reflect."

The nightmares! What do they mean? Will he be able to tell me? I'll try.

"Did you ever have nightmares?"

"No. I didn't really sleep at the time. What are you dreaming of?"

I step back and wipe away tears. Adam pats my back and listens to me.

"Every time I try to fall sleep I dream of the same thing. The green lion's vine cannon vines entangling me and locking me to the pilot seat. No one can break me free. Eventually everyone leaves me there until I waste away. One limb at a time."

"That must be terrifying. I hear you." He says gently.

"And then...and then I am replaced by someone. But I can't see their face."

Something in Adam's expression changes. He looks, sorry for something.

"No one could ever replace you. Even in death, no one can be you or take your specific role on the team. What is sounds like to me is that you feel trapped. That you are healed to responsibilities you may fear or you don't want and when you fall short, you'll be replaced."

That sounds like it. I have been working harder, trying to run faster, be smarter but I can't seem to improve. When we were about to die, I thought that I would die not having reached my best potential. Being the smallest and weakest in the group.

"Were you just over ambitious?" He asks me.

"No. I just didn't want to seem like the weakest Paladin compared to everyone else." I confess, feeling some weight being lifted of my chest after getting it out of me.

"You are not weak. Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone is different and people are complicated but you shouldn't stand next to a person to see yourself as better or worse than you standing alone."

I nod, trying to regain control of my breathing again.

"True validation doesn't come from standing next to a person and being criticized. It's getting it from others what your strengths are, your talents, and learning how to improve. It's like being coachable. If someone criticized you you can't let it go so far to heart."

"What if I am criticizing myself?"

"Let it be a motivator to do better and know what you are pushing yourself too hard. You are needed and valued. On and off the team."

I nod.

"You can always reach out to me or the team when you feel doubtful of yourself. I can assure you that there just about nothing I haven't gone through. And if I don't understand, I'm not going to judge you or criticize you. I'm only here to help. In the future if something like this ever comes up will you go to someone and seek help?"

"I will."

"I'm glad to see a change of heart. I could talk more about this but it's getting late. I know you have been having sleeping trouble but you really need rest. We start training again tomorrow. But remember, I am always just done the hallway. You know where to find me if you need me."

I nod again.

Adam walks me to the bed and pulls the covers over me. I once again nestle under the warm covers.

"You'll be okay tonight?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Alright. Goodnight Pidge."

Adam reminds me of my dad. I know for a time they worked together.   
Adam entered the Garrison at twelve, My Dad was already a few years out of conservatory graduation. And my dad helped to facilitate Adam, Shiro and Matt building the hover bikes together.   
Sometimes Adam can be kinda dad like.   
He's dependable.

Adam goes to walk out of the room.

"Wait!" I say suddenly.

"Yeah?" He says turning around just in the doorway.

"I've been meaning to ask you,"


	46. Decisions

Shiro's POV

(It's been a few chapters, let's see how Shiro takes the news about his family. A new Adam and Shiro arc has begun! Lets check up on our favorite gay paladins)

(Continued Flashback Dream)

...All I see is darkness, and all I hear is faint voices echoing in the void again...I don't know what they are saying....things are far away again....I think I'm beginning to like it here...let me stay here...let me rest...let me breathe again....please. That's all I ask...

..but no one will give that to me...I'm slipping away again....

As my senses awaken again, I feel something. Something familiar, it's like I have woken up to the same thing so many times before. I like it a lot. As my eyes flutter open I gently feel someone gently running their hands through my hair. Their touch is warm and gentle.

Heh, maybe waking up wasn't such a bad thing after all.

I shift the look up at the person. Of course, I find Adam.

"Oh, did I wake you?" he says, still petting my hair.

"No." I sigh, leaning into his hand and I lay back down and close my eyes.

"You sound tired. I'll let you go back to sleep. It's getting late."

I open my eyes again. I see him looking down at me, the soft lamp light softening his face and igniting the multicolored streaks in his eyes.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you look?" I murmur, reaching my hand out to touch his cheek, his skin soft under my touch. He laughs nervously and blushes intensely.

"Oh, I'm okay looking I guess." he says blushing nervously. God he is so cute, sometimes I just can't stand it.

"Nope. You keep saying that but It will never convince me. You are the most beautiful person ever." I whisper breathlessly.

"Well, I think you're wrong. You are the most beautiful person ever." He whispers back leaning down, our faces getting closer.

"Hmm, can't say I agree, have you checked a mirror lately?" I ask, raising my head off the bed to get even closer.

"If I looked at a mirror to see the most beautiful person all I would see is you." He says, our lips barely touching.

"You are so cheesy." I mutter, leaning is slightly more. I can feel his warm breath on my lips.

"You are the cheesy one, you started this conversation."

"Oh shut up and kiss me."

I press our lips together in a messy but nonetheless passionate kiss.

I almost forget what I was dreaming about...  
NO! I can't forget! Not now!

"Wait, Adam." I mutter, leaning back slightly. Adam pulls away, slightly concerned.

"Yeah Takashi?" He asks, concern in his voice. God I hope I didn't ruin the moment. I would've liked to continue but there are other things at hand.  
I sit up and face him.

"I hate to break up the moment but I almost forgot. You were going to tell me about my family. About..."

I look to the clock on the bedside table.

"Five hours ago? What have you been doing?"

"Talking with the team. I was going to come right back but I ran into Lance, then Keith and by then I just figured I'd check up on all the kids. Just to see how they've been."

"For five hours?" I ask in disbelief.

"They needed me. In some ways I guess I needed them..." Adam says, in a strange wistful way. A familiar feeling like nostalgia and melancholy aching arises. The tone of his voice tells me that something profound happened.

"Are you okay?" I ask, putting my hand in his shoulder.

"Yeah. I just, feel like a dad in a way. You know?"

"Oh yeah. I know that feeling."

We look at each other and laugh a little.

"So getting to as to why your data results were cut in half, did you get an answer?"

"I did. It's a weird answer, and a long one, and it sounds really unbelievable but I guess we have to assume it's true."

"What did Coran conclude?"

"Well, Coran, Allura, Romelle And Nachia. Especially Nachia. Since the huge explosion in the sky and the destruction of the Atlas, half of my molecular structure has been rewritten. The lions somehow each took ten percent of my molecules and replaced them with their own quintessence and quintessential powers. That's why I could call to each lion. In a way, they are a part of me now."

"But how can I touch you?" I ask, feeling his shoulder and his arms.

"The quintessence and molecules and cells are all evenly distributed throughout my body."

I turn over his forearm and gently trace my fingers over the red and blue veins on his skin.

"You don't look or feel different."

"I can agree to that."

"But what about when you were doing the power thing? When you were controlling quintessence? How did you do that?"

Adam tried to think back for a few moments.

"I don't know. I can't really recall anything. Only bits and pieces and even from what I can remember I don't even know how I did what I did."

"What can you remember?"

Adam's expression darkness quite a bit. He looks down at his hands. I take his hands in mine and I brush my thumb over his palms. I know he likes that. I can feel his hands relax in mine and he opens up.

"From the explosion to waking up in the ship, to having to be put under the spell and spell withdraw, being captured, almost being manipulated by Sandek, I remember that all clearly. I remember the pain of it all. But the best of my memory gets spotty after I jump in to save you guys from Sandek's whip. Form that I just remember feeling pain."

I reach my hand out to Adam's face where the bandage is placed over his eye. I touch it.

"It hurt right there. And then, I remember bits and pieces of falling through the air and there was action all around us."

When we were falling to get to the lions. He must have remembered when he was hit in the head and snapped out of his quintessential state.

"There was a point where I woke up. Like I was jolted awake. We were still falling and you were having a nervous breakdown."

"Oh yeah. I think I went overboard there. Sorry."

"It's fine. You were under stress. I think I did the same thing, but then after that my memory really starts returning after we got back into the lions and flew home."

"So you remember..."

"Yeah." I mutter.

The crash landing. The flames, the screams, the cries, no No NO!

"I remember not wanting to be a paladin or part of the team." he mutters quietly.

"Why was that? I don't think you ever told me."

"I didn't feel responsible enough. I didn't feel good enough. I...you know how sometimes I have a habit of bringing unwanted chaos or doing...things..." Adam's voice trails off and he looks down. Like he is ashamed.

"I've done a lot of wrong in my life. I've hurt so many people."

"Adam, don't say that. We all have done things we're not proud of."

"I know, but it feels like these things haunt me sometimes. Even from the earliest beginnings to now, you've witnessed a lot of the things I've done and regretted. It's just that I thought that if I joined the team, I might really screw something over for us all. I feel like I might do something bad."

"That's all in the past now. You've told me you've become a better person. You don't let the past bother you anymore. Those things can't hurt you anymore."

"But it does. It still hurts as if it all happened yesterday. Even years after I've done things."

"Adam, you still don't believe that you meant it all, right? You are a good person."

"I know that now. After talking with the kids, I provided a lot of guidance to them out of my own mistakes, shortcomings and things I've done and regretted. After going through with each of them, Lance's longing for acceptance from his family, Keith's fear of abandonment, Hunk's anxiety for others and his loss of hope, and Pidge's depression and being in a state of complete loss of what to do, I realize I've been there in their places. It's happened to me time and time again. Coming out to my own family and worrying what they will think of me, fearing abandonment for reasons you know I don't talk about anymore..."

I nod. Adam's takes in a shaky breath. I know it's hard for him to open up sometimes. It sometimes takes years. He reminds me of Keith that way. I know what he is talking about. I know it's hard for him to think about it but he is trying and that's all that matters to me.

"and loosing hope when you left for Kerberos,"

Adam lets out a quiet sob. I lean forward and I pull him into my arms. He falls into me, trusting me to let his walls come crashing down, showing me a broken and shattered soul I know has been hurt over and over again.

"And even what happened when we were kids. All the things I've done, everything that has added up until now to make up who I am, I still hate a lot of myself and what I've done." he cries, holding on to me as if I was the last dying source of comfort for him. Sometimes I feel that way.

"A lot of things weren't even your fault. You were confused and lost." I say, trying to console him and give him something to distract from the regret and pain.

"But that didn't stop me from doing what I did. It didn't stop me from falling apart."

I can't say anything back to that. I go into a panic, searching for the right words. Searching for something could fix it all. But of course I don't need to dig deep to find the words I need. I use them so much. People take these words for granted but I use them when I know they can heal anything. When I know we both need them to be said, heard, felt and understood.

"But I still love you." I whisper, holding him tighter, never wanting to let go.

"I still love you too." he whimpers, holding on just as tightly. "And I have finally made the decision to join the team as a Paladin."

"You have?"

"Yeah. And it's not so that everyone will stop asking me to join but because I need to be there for the kids. I need to be there for the team, for you, for everyone in this war. In talking with the kids I realized that I'm not such a bad person after all. Sure I've done bad things but I know what I did. I've sat with these issues for years, I know what it's like to live when that pain is still fresh and no one should live that way. I'm joining the team for everyone's sake but my own."

"I'm really happy you came to that conclusion. Maybe you can begin to see that your past isn't entirely bad. "

He nods. I pull back a little so see his face. He is leaning against my chest, crying softly. I cup his cheek with my hand and brush the tears away from his cheek, I lean down and kiss him, softly and sweetly. I want him to know that I still love him. I could never stop loving him or love him any less or more.

I sit with him in my arms for a long time. We have done this so many times before, where I hold him and I let him get out what has been bothering him. In all the years I've known him, sometimes it's taken months to even years for certain things to heal even the slightest bit for him. Knowing where he comes from, he already started off in a bad position. He's asked me not to openly talk about it or directly state what it is so of course I am going to respect that. I don't even mention it in my head it is considered so....

forbidden.

He pulls himself together after some time has gone by and I have sit with the idea that maybe this forbidden thing can begin to heal. If he lets it in

"Ok, enough about me. I've had enough talk about myself, you wanted to know there whereabouts of your family."

"Yes."

"I have word from them. Here,"

Adam reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a letter, the envelops scribbled in messy writing. It takes me a few seconds to recognize that the writing isn't English at all. It's kanji.

隆 白金 

I take the letter in my hands and trace the curves and lines of the kanji, the line feeling familiar in my hand and wrist as I try to remember what it means.

"Noble and prosperous, white metal." I translate aloud, recalling past seen symbols from distant memories. For some reason, I find these two symbols together in just about every past memory.

The symbols look similar, then a very specific memory takes me back.

When I was a kid, and I was learning to write my own name, I struggled to get the Kanji just right.

"Takashi Shirogane. Okay, got my name down."

I open the letter to see symbols written across the page all written in katakana. I skim the symbols, tracing them with my finger as I begin to read.

My finger traces over words like Anata ga koishī, I miss you so much, and Watashi wa anata ni au no o matsu koto ga dekinai, I can't wait to see you again.

It sounds like something my sister would say.

I skim over other words to find things like Miho wa tsuini kekkon shita. Anata wa ima, ojidesu, Miho finally got married and you are an uncle now.

"I have nieces and nephews now?"

It finally hits me right in the stomach, that I have missed out on so many things. My family, they have grown. 

"I guess you do. You have such an amazing family." Adam says.

I keep on reading, until i get to byōki, illness. That word never means good things. I get uneasy, but I keep reading.

Otōsan wa saikin byōki ni natte imasu. Watashi wa dorekurai no jikan o motte iru no ka wakarimasen. Dekirudakehayaku kare o miru hitsuyō ga arimasu. Dad has been sick recently. I don't know how much time he has. You need to see him as soon as you can.

"Otosan, dad." 

"The representatives told me they knew he was getting sick. He's been ill for a few years." Adam explains gently, trying to let me down easy but everything hits me like a ton of bricks. 

"No.... No NO!I cant keep reading this! I just can't!" 

I fold back the letter and I hand it to Adam. Adam skims the paper, and I watch him. His eyes go over a line and he immediately folds the letter and puts it on the night stand.

"I'm sorry everything is turning out this way."

"I've missed so much, how long has it been?"

"Four years." he says dryly. 

I rest my head in my hands. Adam knows how important my family is to me. They were the ones that supported me from the beginning, they sacrificed so much for me, gave up so many things for me and if I end up wasting their efforts, I don't know what I will do with myself. 

"Something's really bothering you. What is is?" Adam asks. I know he can relate. He had a family line to make, to prove, to honor, but not quite like mine. 

I was just a sick kid, I was small and scrawny, I was an immigrant, I was a dreamer. We both were, but no one ever pressured Adam to overachieve quite like my father pressured me. My dad was never my best friend. Alex and Adam are best friends. I just wish my dad was like Alex sometimes. 

"Years may have passed, but I still remember my dad telling me to make a legacy, to make him proud, to...not fail him. And in everything that has happened, I am so scared. Scared of what he is going to say to me. I can imagine that I am far different from what he expected of me. But not a good different."

"How so?"

I take in a shaky breath. 

"He was the original person to tell me I was weak. My illness," I say, my voice trailing off. I touch my arm. I clench and clench my fist. When I relax my hand, Adam's fingers lace between mine. I can feel his warmth, but does he feel cold metal? How human can I be when this thing, this weapon, this work of destruction I never asked to be put on me that is now part of me? 

"When they look at me, I am not going to be the son I was all those years ago. I'm not going to fill their expectations. I'm not going to make them proud." I mutter. 

"What? Why not? You have done so many great things."

"Maybe, but my dad never wanted this life for me. He wanted this life for my brother. When he see's what I have become...It's like how you look at yourself sometimes. You've done so many regretted things its hard to see the good. My dad is going to see me and be filled with regret that he ever let me go. He's not going to like the fact that I have a scar on my face, my hair is white, I have a robotic arm, and I have been out in the universe. He would rather see my brother that way."

"Well let him regret it. He thought that you were weak and you would amount to nothing. He was wrong, wasn't he? The joke is on him."

"That may be true but when I think of that i just get so, angry and fearful of him. I hate that! I hate that I am afraid of him. Even when I look down on him on his deathbed I will still be afraid of him. Even when he's dead i'm going to be afraid of him!"

"Why are you so afraid of him? He has no power over you."

"Yes he does.He decides whether my actions have honored my family or not. In the end he is going to judge me and I am going to be helpless to him. If he says I haven't honored anyone and he dies...what am I going to do?" 

I wait for an answer from Adam, but for many moment's it doesn't come. I feel the pressure build up again. I grip Adam's hand just a little tighter. 

"If I end up not giving him pride then-"

"Be proud of yourself." Adam says, cutting me off. 

"Be proud of who you are. Flaws and all, sexuality and all, everything. Be proud of yourself. If you don't make him proud, who cares. It seems to me that you have far surpassed his expectations. You have nothing to be afraid of." 

I nod along. 

"I'm proud of you. And I love you. I don't want you to be afraid. Today, I found a pride in myself I never knew could be found. I found an acceptance I never knew was there because I heard it from people who cared about me and who I cared about. I'm not saying that your dad doesn't care but has he ever supported you?"

I think back. The only time he told me I did a good job was when I got into the Garrison. Did he think it would be too hard for me? Was it a joke what he said? Did he mean it!? 

I find myself shaking my head. 

"Then what he thinks shouldn't matter. He wanted things to get in your way. He wanted you to be crushed. Well I don't. And you shouldn't either. Make yourself proud. You deserve it." he says. 

Have I been proud of myself lately? It always seems that my pride is at stake when I can't lead to my best ability. I haven't been leading to my best ability. But I will from now on. I promise myself, I promise to the team, I promise to you, I will make you all proud. 

Without giving it much thought, I pull Adam back into an embrace, taking him by surprise for a moment, and then he latches back onto me. 

"Thank you. I really needed to hear that." 

"Of course." 

After a few seconds, I let go of Adam. He yawns and stretches. I look back to the time. Dear god its eleven at night. 

"It's getting late. We should probably go to bed." I yawn. 

"Yeah." Adam mutters, kicking off his boots and crawling under the sheets next to me.

"Hey, I thought you were sleeping somewhere in a separate room." 

"It's lonely without you. Besides, if people catch us, so what?"

I laugh to myself. I have missed him too. There is the charismatic advice giving imperfect but amazing man I love so much. 

I reach over the nightstand, and I turn out the lamp and the room is flooded with inky darkness, despite for a few beams of silvery moonlight from the slightly parted window shades. 

I lean back down and I pull she sheets over myself and I lay down facing Adam. 

In the pale and quiet moonlight, I can trace the outline of his body next to mine. All the gentle curves, angles and colors I have memorized over and over again. 

"Before I say goodnight, you said you were joining the team, right?"

"Yes." he signs, tiredly. I can feel his warm breath on my neck. 

"What color are you going to be." I ask, curiosity getting the better of me. 

"Everyone has been asking me that. Even the kids. Y'know, I don't really know what color I am going to be. I've thought it over and over but everyone seems to have taken the best colors." he says, cuddling closer to me so that we are pressed together comfortably and warmly under the sheets. 

For the last time guys! This is a fluff/angst chapter! 

"What's your favorite color?" I ask, although I think I know what answer. Last time, I asked, he said he liked the color black. Like my hair. He said that color reminded him of me. 

In the darkness, Adam reaches out to touch my hair again, his fingers caressing my face gently. 

"I think I really like white. It reminds me of you." he says, dreamily. 

"Adam Manar Watten. White Paladin. I like the way it sounds."

"You mean Watten-Shirogane." he says, a small level of sass. 

"Are we hyphening?" I ask. 

I don't remember agreeing to that. 

"Yes. If we argued which last name to use we'd never get to the end." he says, kneeing my thigh lightly. 

"You have a good point there. Ok, I'm tried. Good night." 

I lean down again and for the last time of the day, we connect our lips in a sweet kiss, faintly tasting salty from past tears shed. It's not too often I taste that, but I'm always sure that when I do, I give him a reason to be happy. That our kisses and signs of affection are loving. 

"Good night."


	47. Scrapping Ourselves Back Together

Adam's POV

It's as if nothing changed all those four years. I'm still with him. He's still here. We are still in each other's arms. It's like nothing ever changed. All I know is that it this is familiar and I don't ever want to move. I can hear him breathe, I can feel the rise and fall of his chest. Suddenly, there is a hollow knock on the door. 

"Shirogane, have you seen Watten?" someone asks, whom I assume is another UE Base representative administrator. 

"Whaa?" he asks groggily, sleep rolling off his shoulders like a tide. 

"Watten is missing." 

"Missing? But he's-" I cover his mouth with my hands. 

"SHHHH! We can't get caught!" I whisper shout, stumbling out of bed and pulling on my boots hastily. Thank God I didn't take my clothes off. 

"But we weren't even having-"

"SHHH! Now sit up and look like you've been awake for awhile. Do I look okay?" I ask, brushing my hair out of my face. 

"You always look okay." he says. 

I try to stifle a smile but I fail. He's such a dork sometimes. 

"Ok, just look like we've been up talking for a while."

I go over and open the door to find

Admiral Sanda waiting at the door with her usual resting bitch face! I am stunned silent for a few moments. She looks even more pissed. I clear my throat. 

"Heyyyyyyyy, Admiral! What's up?" I say, trying to sound confident but I definitely know everything about that sentence screams "Hey, i'm hiding something suspicious!"

"I demand professionalism from you Watten. Where have you been?!" She demands, and I try not to flinch back. It's been some time since I have been in protocol. I straighten up. Physically and I straighten up to hide the fact that I was sleeping in a bed with another man. 

"With Takashi." I say honestly. 

"Since when?" She questions, her eyes narrowing at me suspiciously. 

"Since this morning." I say, standing my ground. 

I'm not lying am I? I don't think so. I have been here all morning.

"You never went to bed last night! No one saw you! We were worried!" she argues. 

"You don't have to be worried, I was here the whole time." I say, softening. Was she really that worried?

"What if the Galra suddenly attack and you needed to be out on the front lines? Where would we find you!?" She asks, her voice melting into desperation. 

"With Takashi, of course." I say, matter of factually. I would be where he would be.

"Admiral Sanda, I just needed him with me. Okay?" Takashi says quietly from behind. We turn around to seem him looking at us innocently. 

Admiral Sanda sighs and she looses a strict edge to her. 

"I know you two have been through a lot and you depend on one another for comfort and safety, but I need to know where you two are. You guys play key roles in this war and we are beginning training again. We need to win this. I already had a hard time keeping you two under raps as cadets." she says tiredly.

We nod in understanding and agreement. We were a handful I guess. 

"Get ready and meet in the cafeteria in five. Okay?" She says, her tone returning to a sharp and flat statement. 

I salute stiffly. She nods and closes the door. When the door is closed, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Neither of us say anything for a few moments until the audible clicking of her boots disappears down the hall. 

"Do you think she knows?" I ask, still keeping my eyes trained on the door. 

"No. But if we told her I don't think it would surprise her."

"I honestly have to agree. Well I have to go get ready, I'll see you in five." I say, turning back to him and kissing him on the forehead. 

I put on a fresh uniform and I head to the cafeteria where we plan to discuss our game plan over breakfast. 

Going to the cafeteria doors, I peer in through the door window to see everyone is seated at two tables pushed together. I am about to push the door open when I hear someone behind me. I turn around to see Pidge. 

"Hey." I say. 

"Hey." She says quietly. 

"How have you been?" I ask. 

"Well, I've given what you said a lot of thought. I've decided I'm not hiding anymore. I'm done closing myself off. I'm ready to join the team again." 

"That's great to hear. Ready to go in?"

"Yeah." she says, a small smile on her face. I pat her on the shoulder and I push the door open to let her pass first. We join the table where I sit next to Takashi. At the table is the five Garrison Cadets that co lead the paladin fleets, Matt, the Alteans, Krolia and Nachia, Admiral Sanda and the five Paladins. When Pidge and I sit down things begin. Admiral Sanda speaks first. 

"It has come to my attention that our team has changed quite a bit. We now recognize Watten as the sixth and final Paladin."

There is a small gasp or murmur around the room and I instantly become self conscious. I probably don't look like a paladin to any of these people. I don't even have armor, a bayard or even a lion! It's as if I was an accident of creation! From under the table, Takashi's hand slips into mine and I hold it firmly. 

"Watten, is this true?"

"Yes." 

"Did you finally decide on a color?" Coran asks, intrigue in his voice. 

"Yes. I am the White Paladin."

"White isn't a color. Or is it?" Lance comments on the side. 

"It is a color, I guess? Ya know what, I'm not gonna even question it."

"Thank you for that unneeded side commentary. I have talked with the Alteans and our new Galran recruit. As much as it makes little sense to me, I am just going to have to accept this change. I recognize that many of you seem to think it is necessary Watten is a paladin. I will accept this and hold you to the standards of the rest of the paladins until you prove me otherwise." Admiral Sanda says sternly, giving me a subtle side glance. I shrink back in my seat slightly. 

She may scare me half to death somtimes, but I'm joining this team and nothing is going to stop me or scare me away. I'm doing it for them. For the kids, for everyone's sake but my own. I made that promise to myself. I'm sticking by it. 

"I also now notice that our team has fallen into shambles. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. I will not stand for this. We will train intensely our minds, bodies and spirits for the fight under my rules, and under my direction. Now that Watten is on the team and has some extreme molecular changes, I will take the liberty of facilitation our new weapon."

"May I comment?" I ask, knowing that Admiral Sanda hates interruptions. 

People look around the room to me. 

"You may speak." she says patiently. Oh thank god she's not pissed off. I need her in a good mood for what I'm about to say. 

"Admiral Sanda, I respect your position but I honestly don't see how you being fully in charge can benefit to the team. I am aware of your position and decades of military experience Admiral but the thing is, I think the original five should have say and direction. They have seem more of the fight, done more, and know more. We now have a another Galran on our side who can provide insight to the enemy. And also, don't forget that I am a human. Not a weapon. I am not a pawn in a game. In fact, I don't even know what I have to offer this team but I do know this. I see myself as chance for peace. A moral resolve. I can already tell that if you used me under your full direction, that would not be your intend. So I very much object to this idea. I think we should all have equal power and equal say in what to do and how to end this war." 

"Adam is right. He may have a new and uncontrollable power but he is not a weapon." Krolia explains.

"He is an answer." Allura says. 

"A peacemaker." Keith adds.

"A healer." Hunk affirms. 

"A consultant." Lance describes. 

"A guide." says Pidge. 

"He is a forgiver." Takashi says firmly, his hand giving mine a reassuring squeeze. 

I look around the room to see everyone eyeing Admiral Sanda coldly. I almost feel bad for her. 

"I never said he was a weapon literally, I recognize that he is human, yet we have no idea the extent of his power. He could be dangerous." Admiral Sanda explains. 

"But he isn't. The extent of his power will go as far as the Quintessence field and quintessence itself will allow." Nachia says, her voice peaking through nervousness. 

"And how far may that be?"

"There is no limit. The use of quintessence is to create, give life, and energize infinitely. Given these limitless abilities, I don't see how Adam is a weapon. Quintessence can't hurt you, unless...one drains a vessel of quintessence completely."

"See, he can be dangerous and he can go off. It was like how you were explaining to me back in the enemy ship. He just, went off. I'm not risking that. I'm not risking a thing." 

"Woah woah woah, I think Adam would have enough sense to know when his power is dangerous or when he is hurting someone. He wouldn't hurt anyone. I don't even think he'd try to hurt the Galra. He's not that kind of person." Takashi says defiantly. 

"Look, everyone get it in your heads that I didn't mean to weaponize Watten. I didn't mean it at all but he is unpredictable. I mean, this power may be unpredictable." 

I honestly have to agree. I have no idea how any of what happened even happened myself! 

"So what do we do about that?" Takashi argues. 

"Experiment and test him. We have been searching for a new power source." Admiral Sanda counters.

"He isn't an object." 

"But he could be dangerous! You know what he's like when he fights!"

"That's not the point!"

"He's an animal!"

"Ok, Takashi, Admiral, I think that is enough. Let's just calm down here. Let's find come common ground. We are all confused as to what to do and how to handle our current situation. The Galra have gone off the radar and we don't know when they will strike. We have to prepare quickly and arguing menacingly will get us nowhere, so excuse me for saying this to you two but suck it up drama queens! This is war! Now I have a few suggestions for how we should handle this."

I look back to Admiral Sanda who looks one part shocked and two parts silenced. I never thought she took me seriously. If she think's I'm so dangerous, let me just test how far I can go with this.

"To an extent, I am a weapon of sorts. Taka, just hear me out before you comment. Point is, we have so little time. You said it yourself Admiral, we are in shambles and we need to jump back into training as soon as we can but there is the situation with the lions, voltron, the UE BAses, the coalition as well as I even agree to the fact that I am a unpredictable. Because we don't know when the Galra are showing up again, I saw we divide in groups. Krolia, Nachia could train paladins so we can get back into shape. I can even think of how to reach out to the Galra and stop the war before heavy warfare commences but if it has to, Admiral, you could gather the UE BAses and assemble troops together. Romelle and Allura could try getting the lions back into shape for piloting. Coran could work on putting together a satellite from the Atlas to send out a signal to form the coalition. We have to take action now and we have to do it in as many areas as possible."

"But this has no rhyme or reason. This is just pulling together bits and pieces of ruins and hoping it will stay together."

"Well, that's just a risk we have to-"

The doors to the cafeteria are kicked open in a burst. Reflexively, all of us jump up and prepare to fight, but then we notice a woman running up to us with a UE Bsse uniform on. She looks distressed and our of breath. 

"Admiral, Paladins, there is something wrong!" the UE Base administrator says, heaving for air and out of breath she can barely get out her words. 

"What is it? Tell us!"

"*gasp gasp* It's the *pant pant* Lions! *Heave wheeze* Something is wrong!" 

"Where are they!?"

"Outside!" 

In a flash, I jump up from my seat and dash out the door with everyone following close at my heels, our footsteps echoing down the halls like thunder. I take down hall after hall skidding around each corner and nearly sliding down the steps I run so recklessly. I fly past the front desk and kick open the recovery building doors and I dash outside. 

The air is still heavy and thick with ash and pollutants. I cough at the smell of burnt rubber. There is a dust cloud hovering over us, trapping out most of the natural light. It's dark out. This place is a mess. The Atlas crash must've killed just about everything in a 20 mile radius. 

I look around frantically, until I eerily see multiple pairs of glowing eyes through the dust and ashen air. I see purple, green, yellow and red eyes glowing at me through the dusty haze. I see the silhouetted figures of each lion. Suddenly, I am confused. Each lion was torn to pieces! They landed miles part from each other and they lost all power. How is it they are seated in a circle? It's eerie and I don't like it. 

"Watten! Get back inside! The air is too polluted to breathe!" 

"Come back!"

"Adam what are you doing?!"

"Adam!"

I find my lungs burning from the sand particles I am breathing in and it burns uncomfortably. I've been outside for long enough. Staggering, I run back inside and shut the door. 

"What was that for!? You could've gotten dust in your lungs."

I cough dryly. 

"*cough cough* Guys, I saw something!" I rasp. 

"What did you see?" They all ask in unison. 

"The lions, they have moved. They are seated in a circle, their eyes are glowing, but there is something else that's weird."

"What?" 

"I didn't see blue."


	48. Thinking Blue

Blue Lion's POV

Listen...can you hear that? I can hear him. He's questioning things again. Such an inquisitive mind. I can sense him. I can feel the one of light. The one named Adam Manar Watten. Such a strange name, yes? If only he looked closer and sooner would he see what he was destined for. 

Light. It's right there all in the name. Adam. The first light of mankind. Or so they say in this thick book. See the middle name? Light is written in a different language. Arabic they call it. And the last name is particularly strange. A watt is a unit of power used to power things like flashlights. You see what I'm saying? I just thought it was interesting, that maybe you'd think it was interesting too. I'm interesting, right? 

Wait, I'm getting something. He can't sense me, not yet. He needs time. He did it a few times beforehand but that situation was dire. I was running out of power. I needed to save enough power for this. We all had to. Adam needs practice but he will get there. I'll help him. Even if he didn't see me. Even if he doesn't see me, I'm making it easier for them all. None of them saw me leave in the dead of night just before the dawn. I tried not to leave a blue trail to where I am hiding. That would be too obvious and would give away everything. It would suck to play hide and seek if I left a trace. But am I really hiding? No. I am waiting in the same place where I once sat for a millennia. But I am free now. Thanks to Lance and the Paladins. It's been awhile since I've seen them. I miss them. That crash landing hurt. I hope they know I'm okay. I have gone a millennia in solace once. In this very spot. What a dismal time it was. Of course I talked to red, green, yellow and black though distant radios but nothing is as interesting or as special as connecting to your paladin. Even in a time of action when my presence is needed I don't have many voices of intellect to talk to these days. Perhaps you'll listen? I love meeting a new person! Another stranger to turn into a friend, how fun. I'll tell you how I left this place once, but first, you need to know how I got here, who I am and my purpose. I hope you can follow along with me! 

From my earliest forging from the comet, I was given a duty, a pledge. It was in my heart I was formed to be a defender. You can decide what I am defending. A place, a people, a life form. The universe itself. It's endless. All endless. I have a purpose greater than my very being. I always have been and always shall be a defender. But now, I am also a relatively ancient soul, but a happy one. Happiness has pushed me through all these hard years. In past times when happiness ran short and people turned to menacing ways to resolve their issues, I kept a happy face hidden behind the armor. I had fun in the small moments here and there whenever I could salvage them but things changed. Red's Paladin Alfor was killed by the Black Paladin. Then they sent me away. The Alteans sent me away, but I didn't let that hurt me. I was sent here. In this cave with markings written on the walls and an obligation to fill. I was told to wait for something big to happen. And I waited for a millennia. Not leaving this cave once. It didn't occur to me much later that the next set of paladins wouldn't be able to read what the instructions said on the walls next to me. Oh well, I guided them and the rest is already said an done. But because they couldn't read the writing explains why it's taken them all this time to figure out our secret. Well, it's no longer a secret. They all know about him now. You've read his name. You understand, don't you? 

All my time alone here, the only thing to accompany me were my thoughts, and the gentle splashing of the underground spring water. It overflowed once. For many years during a global warming period. It nearly destroyed the writing on the walls but I must say, it was nice to let my barrier down and soak up a little water. I let myself have fun on occasion but I had a mission to fulfill. I still do. It's not over yet. It's far from over. 

You know what's funny? Sitting alone in the cave, I often dreamed of my awaiting paladin. Who they'd be, when I would know, when I would be ready. I didn't know what to expect when those five came flooding in but there was just something so special about the tall and thin one. The one I would later come to know as Lance. When that boy knocked on my barrier I just had to take him. I couldn't wait any longer I was so eager. It was like he chose me! I just had to bring him back home. All five of them. My time had come and I was ready. I was ready to defend again! I remember zipping through space, not wasting a moment getting them back home to the castle. I was just so... happy. It had been a while since the last time I was happy. I was overjoyed to be piloted again. Happy for a new paladin and just so exited for the journey to begin. I lead them, told them to go to the pods where the Princess was kept and the royal adversary. The journey had begun!

Before I knew it, one by one my friends were coming back to me! Green, Yellow Red and Black. It was so amazing to see them again! Oh man, you should've been there to see the look on red's face! I remember late at night we were talking about our paladins. We all loved our paladins dearly. We all bonded so well. We understood each other and came to know each other very well. Lance was so kind. He was so supportive of everyone. Even if he didn't always believe in himself, he was willing to give anything a shot. He is willing to see things from a sideways glance. I loved that about him! Even if he lacked an inner confidence sometimes, even when his inner drive began to drop, I always had his back. 

But when Black's paladin left...things changed. Things switched and I accepted the princess as my new Paladin. Allura was so brave, so fierce. I loved it! That inner drive, that demand for respect, I absolutely loved it all! It was honestly hard letting go of Lance, but I stayed in touch through Red. Red got annoyed I was always trying to send Lance good vibes. Maybe I should've sent Red some good vibes. She gets frisky sometimes, but I love her anyway. But with Black with new Paladin Keith, things were looking up. Black always admired Keith's strong heart and rational thinking. I always kept an eye out for Shiro just in case he wanted to come back but it wasn't until the impostor came along that I had a hard time. I tried to stay happy, with Allura by my side, It was like I was invincible, but she wan't. That impostor, I knew he was going to hurt them but I was so torn. He didn't know. She didn't know. They all didn't' know. For a time I didn't think Black knew at all. He made them all so happy. He made Keith so happy when he came along. Then Lotor showed up. hings seemed like they were looking up. For a time I tried to convince myself that everything was fine but I was wrong. I know a faker when I see one. By the time I decided to warn them of the impostor and of the liar it was already too late. 

It was unbearable. Seeing my paladins hurt all over again. It was like in the past. The original five were a team, but even they were pulled apart. I just hope that now, after all that has happened, they choose to get along. They choose to see the good. The sixth one has chosen to seek the good. The light in the dark. Adam has a connection to all five of us current lions. He could pilot me if he wanted. I know I already like his honesty and his kindness. He is admirable in many ways. Some of them even he doesn't see in himself. I'll show them to him. I'll give him a reason to be happy. 

There will be a sixth lion soon. I wonder what they'll be like. The lion is waiting somewhere. In the quintessence field I assume, waiting for who knows how long. It must take a great patience and discipline to wait for so long. I can't wait to meet them! Speaking about meeting, I can sense him again. I can sense Allura, Lance and Adam. They are all getting closer. They are wondering where I am. It's such a nice feeling, being wanted and cared about. It's such a nice feeling knowing that things are going to change for good and I don't have to question it. I once stood here waiting and questioning if the next big thing that happened would be good. Now I know I don't even need to give it a second thought. I can hear footsteps. I can hear them, Shhh. 

I really enjoyed talking with you. You're such a great listener. You've really made my day.


	49. Searching

Takashi's POV

(About 30 minutes ago)

"I thought they ran out of power!" I mumble, liquid anxiety pouring into my blood stream and spreading throughout my body and intoxicating my mind.

"I thought they did too!" Adam coughs.

"Blue is missing!?" Lance shouts. His shouting sets everyone off.

"Oh god, this is bad this is bad!" Hunk says starting to go into a downward spiral of anxiety.

Everyone starts talking all at once and the noise it getting disorientingly loud. Among the growing mess of voices, Adam's pierces through and quiets everyone in an instant.

"Guys, hold yourselves together! Now lets think. If the lions had enough power to somehow get up and walk into a circle and their eyes are glowing, then that means Blue couldn't have had enough power to go too far."

"Well what do we do about that?" Keith asks.

"Blue is gone! Where could she have gone!?" Lance panics. Keith takes Lance's hand and holds it reassuringly. I stand in front of the two of them to hide their interlocked hands from Admiral Sanda.

"Lance, Allura, Adam, you three have connections to the blue lion. Can you try to sense where she might be?" Nachia asks.

"I've tried already. I'm getting nothing." Allura reports.

"I cant pick up anything!" Lance cries.

"Uhhh, I can try but I don't think I'll get it." Adam says uninsured.

"It's so weird! I'm not getting a thing. I'm reaching out but I can't connect." Allura says struggling to concentrate.

"It's like she is asking us to find her ourselves." Lance comments.

"I don't think I'm doing this right." Adam says over straining himself.

"We need another way!"

People panic to come up with a solution. I frantically look around for something! Anything! The UE Base administrator at the desk stares at us like we are crazy! I catch her eyes and she drops her gaze to the papers in her hands and she shuffles away nervously. Wait, that's it!

"All the other lion's eyes were glowing. Maybe if we go out looking for a pair of blue glowing eyes we will track down the lion."

"It's too dark outside. Even if we-" Admiral Sanda starts.

"Found her! Over to the west. I think that is the direction of the cave where we first met her." Pidge says, her voice creeping out from the daunting haze of anxiety. She stands next to a window where in the distance near various rock formations is a small beam of light. It's faint, but it is there. We all go to the window.

"Are the lions going back to their hiding places to recharge or something?" Hunk asks.

"If that were the case, the other lions would be gone. You did see the others, right Adam?" Coran asks.

"Seated in a circle. Yes."

"Seated in a circle, eyes glowing, this is getting weird." Allura says.

"This whole story is completely full of weird!" I comment aloud. I don't even care if that made no sense. It's true.

"I have never heard of the lions seated in a circle with their eyes glowing before. Are you sure they weren't doing anything else." Coran asks. "What does it mean?"

Adam begins pacing a little and mumbling to himself.

"They are seated in a circle, their eyes are glowing, Blue is back where you guys first encountered here and I think I'm supposed to do something about this."

"Well, do something!" Admiral Sanda says impatiently.

"I don't know what to do!" he says in defense.

"I'll tell you what to do! Go out there and find her. She might bring us to an answer." Allura pleads.

"But she is miles away if she is in the cave. We would never stand a chance out there in this weather on foot. All the UE Base shuttles don't go very fast and we can't risk doing anything worse to the environment. We need a form of transportation that is exhaust free, fast, and can get at least us paladins and Allura to the lion." Lance thinks aloud.

"Shiro?" Keith asks suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"You remember the old hover bikes, right? The steam powered ones you and I used to ride?"

"Excuse me, but they are not old. I refined their design only a few years ago to be powered by electricity." Adam cuts in.

"You got one handy?"

"You gonna suggest we pile on a single hover bike to get there?"

"Exactly."

"Okay, we got a hover bike. What advances did you make?" I ask him.

"I made it bigger and stronger. It can only hold five people. Seven if we really push it but I advise us all to think of another plan. Seven people is really pushing it."

But we need to get to Blue. Adam is mart enough to play things safe. Even risks. I'm sure the hoverbikes will be okay.

"Adam, we have no choice. We have to make that risk and we have to get to Blue right now. Us six and Allura will go. Paladins, Allura, get suited up. We're going out there."

Adam reluctantly agrees and everyone takes back to the third floor of the building to the armory. It is basically a locker room with our armor laid out with out bayards. Everyone begins pulling together their armor and heading to changing stalls relatively quickly. I look around and realize that he has no armor of his own and is standing around awkwardly in the open. He is only wearing his standard garrison uniform. The fabric is thick and protective, but not protective enough. If he doesn't wear something out in that air condition, he could risk injury or getting sick. Riding on the hover bike with seven people could be dangerous. He needs some protective gear. If only I had my leather jacket. I look around to my pile of gear in the corner of the locker room. Looking underneath a bench I find that they saved our backup armor. I gather the under suit and armor plates and hand it to Adam.

"Wear this. You'll be protected."

"Isn't this yours?"

"This is my second pair. I have my own."

Adam starts taking off his garrison uniform and I turn around to give him privacy.

I pull on the under suit, the armor plates and I am just about to slip the chest plate over my head.

"Uh, a little help?"

I turn around to see Adam getting his right hand stuck in the left arm piece.

"I got it."

"I seriously need to step up to this role."

"You're adjusting. I had a hard time getting used to things.

I help him put on the rest of the paladin armor. Everyone has gone now and I'm just helping him put on the last few pieces. I put the helmet on his head and I press the reset button. Immediately, the armor plates adjust getting leaner, curving to the shape of his body. The helmet visor glass thickens and Adam takes off his glasses and sets them down.

I step back and look at him. The armor is a perfect fit and he looks fantastic! The black, white and glowing blue looks great on him. Now with his glasses out of the way you can see how everything really makes the iridescent of his eyes stand out. I would probably stare at him but we have a mission! Adam and I get to the front desk of the building. I adjust his helmet again to lock in air and keep oxygen and moisture in and flowing smoothly.

We promise Admiral Sanda to be back by 5:00. One by one we head out to the hover bike parked along the side of the building. I remember building the first prototype with Adam when we were cadets.

One by one we pile along the seats and the wings. With each person, the hoverbike creaks under the weight.

"Adam, drive facing west. Follow the blue light. Once we get to the canyons, it's better to go by foot."

"Okay. Everyone ready?"

One by one everyone confirms their readiness and Adam starts the hover bike and we are off.


	50. Prophesy In The Making

Adam's POV

The desert land has never looked so barren and desolate. The air is thick with ash and pollution it's hard to see where I'm going. We are far past the Base and miles away from any city, town or trace of civilization. This is what has become of everything. This is my fault. I grip the handlebars of the hoverbike so tightly they cramp up. I loosen my grip and pull away from my thoughts and focus on the road ahead of me. On the mission.

Up ahead the land becomes cracked and scared. There are deep ravines and canyons as far as I can see. The blue light is getting closer and closer. I think I can feel the blue lion. As rock formations begin to separate from the once flat horizon line, the ground becomes uneven and rough but the light is getting closer. Slowly, I begin to recognize some of the ravines, the cliffs and the pattern in the strata. I have been here before and for reasons I keep to myself. I keep looking ahead. As we get closer, I steadily bring the Hover bike to a stop. There is a cliff here. I know it. I bring the bike to a stop, put up the kickstand and shut off the engine.

"Why are we stopping?" Lance asks.

"There is a cliff here. If we want to get to the light, we are going to have to carry on by foot. I know this place fairly well. Follow me."

I lead the team down one of the ravines following a path I know and have traveled by many times before.

"You seem to know the path here pretty well." Allura comments.

"I guess I do." I say, shrugging.

"Anything you want say about that?" Takashi whispers to me, trailing close behind.

"No." I say simply, and Takashi doesn't bother me again.

We go around a bend in the ravine. When we reach the other side of the bend, the face of the rock is ignited by a flowing light. It's as if water was reflecting light onto the surface of the rock but as we look down below, there is no water source.

"We must be close." Keith says. "Keep moving forward. The sooner we get to the lion, the sooner we can fix everything and get back to training."

Everyone collectively agrees and we keep pushing forward. We get to the bottom of the ravine. I look up to see a glimpse of the hoverbike at the top of the cliff. We are a far ways down. I haven't been here in a while, but nothing close to the long while Takashi has last been here.

"So let's start looking for that cave. What do you remember about it?" I ask.

"There was a water source." Pidge adds.

"I don't remember water being down here. Let's look around." I suggest and everyone gets to exploring the area. I look around trying to analyze patterns in the rock formations that might hint to water. Hunk walks over and touches the rock formation, analyzing it.

"I can sense something. We aren't too far away." Keith says. "Lance, look over there." Keith points to a run down rock formation. Lance goes over to inspect it.

"Find anything?" he calls.

"Found it! Good work Keith."

The two of them lead the rest of us into the mouth of a cave, but I don't think this is anything close to a cave. I per inside and immediately I am in awe.

All around me are glowing engravings in the walls portraying odd shapes, animal and human like figures, circle looking designs along the walls, geometric shapes crossing over coming undone and forming together again. I go over to one and touch it. It's real! The glowing figures, stationary in their place look like they are dancing across the walls. Maybe they are still because they are waiting to leap off of the surface of the rock and fly, gallop, and run away with all the other figures. It's beautiful! I trace the curves and lines of a specific engraving. One that looks like a man. If he suddenly walked off of the wall and into my hand, he would be big enough to sit in the palm of my hand. Then what?

"Hey, hurry up straggler." Takashi says, nudging me.

I look up to see that everyone has gone ahead, neglecting to look at the engravings.

"How come I've never seen this place before? How come no one has seen this place before?" I ask.

"I don't know." He says.

I turn to look at him. And I mean really look at him. He is blocking a certain engraving. It catches my interest.

"What?"

"Could you move to the side a tad?" I ask.

Takashi gives me an awkward look but complies. He shifts a little.

"Don't be long. We don't want to loose the others."

"I know, I got it." I say and then I turn to everyone else who has gone farther into the cave.

"Hey guys, come back! I think I found something!" I shout after them.

"What is it?" they shout back.

"The engravings in the walls. I think they mean something."

"Of course they mean something." Allura shouts back.

Takashi walks over to my side and looks at the wall.

"Come one, we have to move on." He says and he continues after the rest of the team.

I give the figure one last look before walking away. I don't know what he saw in that figure, but It sure wasn't what he saw. He could look at it for a few seconds and move on. I could stare at it forever. Why? I move on, leaving the glowing engraving of a mother and child behind me.

I walk away but as I do Takashi takes his hand in mine.

"I know what you were thinking. I know it's hard, I know it's painful and I hate to pull you away but it's time to move on."

I nod, not arguing.

I continue down he opening of the cave where he engravings become even more detailed, but they have stopped glowing. I wonder why. Again, I have to look at them but I don't stop to stare this time. I pass an engraving of what looks like a huge circle with five lions equally distanced apart on the circumference all facing inward to a huge robot looking figure. It mist be Voltron. The engraving is huge and I reach out to brush it with my hands as we all walk. Running my fingers over the engraving something draws my attention. This time I have to stay and observe.

"Come on Adam. We have to keep moving."

"No. There is something here. I don't know what it is but I felt something. Take a look at this."

One by one, everyone gathers around.

"Five lions, right?" I ask, pointing to the painting.

They murmur in agreement.

"Pidge, can you see your lion in this engraving?" I ask.

She nods. She goes over to the engraving and reaches out to the engraving. Her hand hovers over the painting and it begins to glow a faint green. She pulls her hand away and she looks to all of us.

"It's okay. Keep going." I encourage her. She nods and presses her open palm to the engraving. By touch alone, the lines and curves of the engraving glow green and Voltron's left arm glows green. Suddenly a text appears, but it looks more like illegible scribbling to me. Allura steps up and runs her hand along the scribbles.

"Allura, can you read that?" I ask.

"No. It's too faint." She says sadly.

"Hey, let me try something." Hunk says, stepping between us.

He places his hand on his lion, and it begins to glow yellow and Voltron's left leg glows yellow and the cave begins to be less dark.

The text brightens and more is filled in. Allura tries to read it again.

"Better, but not enough."

Lance steps forward and places his hands over his lion, igniting the lion and Voltron's left leg blue. The text becomes stronger and Allura tries to read it again, making out a few words. Running her finger over the symbols, she traces parts of the writing where nothing glows, filling in the missing pieces. Like a puzzle.

"This symbol means prophesy." She says. Her finger continues to the next few symbols, tracing them over and over, a different pattern each time. "Five paladins... secret...lying in wait. Rise of the Galra, fall of Altea. Forming Voltron...waiting to be completed. That's all I can get from this. So this is a prophesy, about five paladins lying in wait. I can't tell anything more. Keith?"

"On it." he says pushing forward and pressing his hand to the engraving, making it glow red and Voltron's right arm glow red.

More missing pieces of the symbol turn up and Allura traces them over again.

"This is a prophesy, made...I can't read that, some number of years ago, when the world was...still can't read it." She skims the text again.

"Here, let me help." Takashi says, placing his hand over the last lion, completing the last of Voltron and the text. The missing pieces of the text glow, leaving no spaces, no places for confusion and Allura reads alut once more.

"This is a prophesy of old. The dawn of living kind will never know a power so great other than five paladins lying in wait. Each different from the other but just the same. One Altean, one Galran, one Nalquodian, one from the Dalterion Belt, and one Rygnirathian, all called to lead Voltron but one will be corrupted. One will be consumed by the madness of quintessence. One's heart will be blackened. One's fears will take them. One will die. The lions will be sent away to the farthest corners of the known universe lying in wait for the paladins of new. They will sit for a millennia in wait to destroy the darkness. To destroy the last living paladin of old. Empires will fall, empires will rise anew. Six paladins united by the one of light will rise. And the one of light will be the end uniting them all under one symbol. The one of light will show the way."

"So this whole time, we were fulfilling a prophesy. Takashi mutters under his breath. "Everything in that has come true, but something isn't right here. It said six paladins. Where is the sixth lion in the engraving?"

We look around for the engraving of the sixth lion, but we can't find anything.

"Allura, read the last few sentences one more time."

"The one of light will be the nd uniting them all under one symbol. The one of light will show the way."

"At the end of the cave, I saw a glowing engraving...everyone wait here. I'm going to try something."

I turn back to the front of the cave.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying something."

I need to see that engraving again. Something about it tells me that it has the answer. I look around again, it was a small picture, it could fit in my hand but it had a weight to it that I couldn't describe, and then I find it again.

The mother and the child. I reach out and touch it. It doesn't glow any brighter than it does. I look at the simple details of the engraving. I look at the child's face, I look at the mother's face. They look so happy. I wish I was like them.

I wish she were here.

"What makes this special? What gives this meaning?" I ask myself. I know why it gives meaning to me, but why might it hold meaning for another person?

I look to see they are holding hands. They are connected. They are a unit. I look down at my hands and I clench and unclench them. I look back to the engraving in the wall. The two figures are united by a simple gesture. A gesture that means a million words and phrases. They are united, under one symbol, lighting their way. I mentally thank whoever made this engraving.

I know what I have to do. I get up and go back the team running past all the other engravings. Some of them look like they are running beside me.

I get back to the team where no one has moved.

"Guys, trust me on this, I know it is going to sound weird, but trust me."

Everyone looks at one another, exchanging looks of confusion, but then all nod.

"Keep one hand on the engraving of your lion, but put one hand on the center of the engraving over Voltron."

"Why?" Keith asks.

"Just do it." I argue.

Everyone places their hands in the center over Voltron. I take my hands and I begin to place them over theirs when the red, blue, yellow, green and purple begin glowing more a new faint text appears right below the first.

"Adam, keep going!" Allura shouts.

I press my hands down and there is a burst of light. Everyone shields their gaze as the light slowly dims. One by one, everyone takes their hands away from their eyes. The engraving is glowing without the touch of our hands and a new set of words have appeared. This time, glowing in pure white.

"Allura, what does It say?"

She touches the text.

"How to summon the White Lion." She says tracing the words. She turns to me. "So you do have a lion!"

"I guess so."

"Coran was right this whole time..." she mutters.

"Let's forget about our past mistakes. Let's focus on the now. How do we summon the Lion?"

"It says: Each of the five lions, Green Yellow, Blue, Red and Black will be seated in a circle. Each paladin will stand before their Lion. The paladin of light will reach out and make a rip in time space into the quintessence field and the Astral Plane, aided by the lions, their peers, friends and family. They will then reach out to the quintessence field drawing in quintessence. From the Astral Plane the spirit of the White Lion will burst forth and become physical. From then on, the universe as known will be forever changed."

But how do I do that? HOW!? Last time I did something I wasn't aware! I didn't even know! Hell, I can hardly remember a thing!

"So I have to make a rip in space time to two different dimensions to make this thing!? What happened to summoning one mentally?"

"Adam, you have drawn quintessence directly from the quintessence field. You can do it again. And you won't be alone."

"What about the Astral Plane?"

"I might know a way or two to get there." Takashi offers. Everyone gives him an awkward side glance.

"We are going to help you."

"You aren't alone in this one."

"I'm sure we'll do it."

"We are a team. We are doing this together and we are summoning that lion."

I look at everyone. They all look so confident, so ready. If I have their back, then I should be okay.

"Alright. When we get back, I'll try." I promise.

"If we get back. We still need to find Blue." Allura says.

"If we go farther into the cave, isn't that where we fell through the ground?" Hunk says from farther into the cave.

"Look,"

We all gather around a hole in the ground. I hear the pouring of an underground waterfall.

"The water Is overflowing. There's a pool."

"How do we get down there? And if she's there, how did that huge lion get down there without cracking apart the cave?" I wonder aloud.

"Uhh, magic? I don't know, but what I do know is that maybe we have to jump down there to get in."

"But what if we do that and she's not there?"

"She's there. I know it." Lance says defiantly.

I can feel something. I think I sense the lion but then I hear a crack and I look down at my feet. The ground is falling in! The next thing I know is I'm falling through the air and everyone around me is shouting.

Suddenly I hit the surface of the water but it doesn't touch me. I feel the coldness but it doesn't lap at my skin. I look around to see fish swimming away. The helmet of the armor I am wearing has become airtight and oxygen is flowing.

Under the surface of the water I see blue light, swaying and bending above me and I remember to swim. I kick my legs and swim to the surface and break it with a powerful splash. I catch up with the rest of the team and drag myself out of the water alongside everyone else. As I stand up, the armor weighs more and I struggle to stand. I look up to see the blue lion.

"This better have been worth it!" I shout at her.

"Come on guys, we have no time to wast! We need to get in Blue and get back to the lions. Out next objective is to summon the White Lion!"

I pull myself up and I get to the lion where we all pile inside.

I wonder what the white lion looks like.


	51. Cutting The Sky Open

Takashi's POV

Water is above me. The surface reflects a light so beautifully, it's almost immaculate. Weight is pulled off me in an instant and the world around me quiets down. The sounds are softened and the rolling of the current overtakes me. My gaze shifts upward to see rays of silver light coming down and swaying gently and I hit the bottom of the cave. The water is fifteen feet above me. The surface of the water ripples above me as each of us swim to the edge of the water. I push off the bottom and kick, swimming away. When I break the surface does everything crash upon me again. The weight of the armor, the stillness, the smooth current. It's gone.

Everyone is dragging themselves out of the water, helping one another to stand to their feet. I hold out my hand to Allura and pull her out of the water. It seems that the only people who liked falling into the water were Lance and me.

At the water's edge, Blue has been sitting and waiting for us. Expecting us with a loud quietness of expectancy. She is silent, but she is ever watchful.

The is already leaning down, her mouth open for us to enter her and pilot her again. When we all get out of the water we make our way to her, the swishing and drops of water echoing quietly in the cave, the water reflected light igniting everything. Igniting Adam's eyes a steely blue.

We pile Into the lion, Adam staggering behind us. We all like into the pilot cabin. We squeeze in so tight I can barely move. Lance gets back into the blue lion pilot seat and holds his hands above the throttles. They glow a dazzling blue and she roars to life again with a long waited eagerness. With a swift uplift of the throttles, Blue bursts into speed, rising up from the ground with the cracking of rocks and waves. She continues into the mouth of the cave where a distant opening appears, the sunlight sky of the dessert shining a clear sapphire.

"Is anyone getting deja vu?" Keith asks.

Pidge, Hunk, and I agree at the same time.

Adam and Allura give us strange looks.

"Hey, at least I'm a better pilot now," Lance argues back.

"I hope I don't get sick." Hunk mutters.

"We have no time to waste! We have to get back to the other lions!" Pidge states.

"How much power does she have?"

"I don't know, but something tells me that once we get the White Lion here we won't have to worry about power issues anymore."

"I hope not."

Out of the mouth of the cave, the blinding light of the sun illuminates everything and dims as our eyes adjust.

Rising over the dunes and the rock formation, Blue sweeps down and grabs the hoverbike in her jaws in one swift glide and rising above the clouds once more, heads back to the fallen Garrison. As far as we can see, the ash around the Garrison spreads out for miles, making the land a dull grey wasteland. A shadowland. (Lion King reference anyone?). The radio statics to life, the signal piercing high and clear through the damaged atmosphere.

Admiral Sanda: "Paladins, we have an emergency!"

Lance: "What's going on?"

Admiral Sanda: "The Galrans! They're back!"

Hunk: "No!"

Pidge: "..."

Keith: "Again!?"

Shiro: "*Heavy sigh*"

Adam: "I can't see a thing from where we are. What's your visual?"

Admiral: "We don't know where they are coming from. The air outside is too harsh to go out in! We need to escape!"

Shiro: "How bad is it?"

Admiral: "We need to leave now!"

Allura: "Look out!"

Lance yanks the throttle to the side, throwing the lion in a barrel role causing some of us to fall and lose balance.

Lance: "Sorry about that. Admiral, your orders?"

Admiral: "We need to leave! We have called in defense and rescue jets from the UE Bases. Can you help defend our base?"

Lance: "Copy that."

Adam: "No, we don't copy. Sorry Lance, but I need to say something here. We need to restore power to all the lions first! If we use Blue to defend the UE base and escape, we will have no choice but to leave the other lions behind. If we do that, the Galrans will take hold of them. Because they are almost drained, we'll lose all contact with them to get them back if that happens. We need them all to summon the White Lion!"

Admiral: "White Lion!?"

Adam: "Yes! We need that lion active now!"

Admiral: "Since when is there a sixth lion? This morning there was no mention of a sixth lion. Why now?"

Adam: "It's a long story but we need to act and fast!"

Admiral: "What's your plan?"

Adam: "We get to the other lions, we set Blue down and we do everything we need to build the White Lion. We would need some UE Base ships to keep us defended."

Admiral: "But we have so many people we need to be evacuated! We have supplies that need to be packed and moved."

Adam: "I think you should re-prioritize everything. Leave all unnecessary items behind. Focus on getting the people out, defending them and us. Once we get the White lion and all other lions in function, everything will change."

Admiral: "Watten this is is your last chance. You are asking very much of me. After this, I will not give you second chances and you won't come up short on me ever again. Is that clear?"

Adam: "Yes."

Admiral: "Do not disappoint me."

Adam: "I won't. Lance, everyone, you all know what to do."

Allura: "What about me? I don't pilot Blue anymore."

Adam: "You're still an important part of the team. You understand this tech better than us, you and pidge. I need you to run me through the instructions and tell me how and what to do. I need all of you to put your best foot forward here. This is dangerous but It's worth the risk."

Lance: "Your orders?"

Adam: "Fly in and complete the circle. Everyone, stand in front of your lion. I'll see what Allura and I can do to make a rip in space-time, Astral Plane and quintessence field."

Flying above the ash, Lance dives in. Once within the ash cloud, things become dark and hard to see. The Lion's lights are equipped but even through the particles, the light doesn't travel far. As Blue flies in search of the Garrison, we get hit throwing us all off course. The Lion starts spinning out of control and all of us crowded inside are thrown off balance. I get smacked in the ribs and face by arms and shoulders and I'm sure I do the same to others. I reach out and grab onto Lance's pilot seat and hold as many people in place as possible. As the lion steadies and flies lower to the ground, the lion turns sharply to avoid incoming lasers.

"Lance, I thought you said you'd be a better pilot!"

"I'm trying, Keith!"

In the distance, the glowing eyes of the other lions can be seen and Lance flies Blue to the ground, sprinting over to the others.

"Everyone, put your helmets on, we have to go out now!"

Lance slows Blue down to a trot over to the space in the circle, but immediately everyone starts panicking.

"What if we don't know what to do?"

"Adam, I'm scared!"

"Something bad is going to happen!"

"Can we even go out there and do it? Can you?"

Everyone starts speaking at once, begging Adam for direction.

"There is a war-torn world out there with people fearing that they are going to die. They need to be saved and if I let something horrible happen to them and I never did a thing it's gonna be the next regret I'm going to face for the rest of my life. Guys, we are in this together to save them. We are paladins, we don't back down. Once we get the White Lion out there then we really start making a difference. So who's going to go out there with me?"

Everyone looks at one another and slowly, expressions of fear turn to a determination. Sadness turns into hope. Darkness turns into light.

Slowly, everyone agrees, they nod, they should enthusiastically until everyone is convinced that we can do this.

"Now let's kick some fucking ass!" Adam shouts raising his fist.

"Adam!" I gasp.

"What? I'm just trying to be encouraging," he smirks.

"It worked!" Pidge said.

We all leave the lion and run out into the wide circle. Ash is blowing around us, taking in just about all of the sunlight. we run against the force of the wind and the blindness, the piercing eyes of each lion guiding our way in the dark. Various explosions ring out from around us, shaking the ground, providing a short burst of firelight before going out, aking the air thicker and harder to see through. 

I run over to the purple glowing eyes and I stand far beneath the Black Lion. I turn around to see everyone in the distance, their outlines faintly showing through the ash.

Shiro: "Adam, were in our places. What do we do?"

Adam: "Allura, do you remember the instructions?"

Allura: "Yes. Each of the five lions will be seated in a circle with each paladin standing in front. You are going to make a rip in space-time, the astral plane, and the quintessence field. The space-time rift will keep the damage to a minimum, the astral plane will open for the Spirit of the White Lion to come to Earth, and the quintessence will power the lion. You will do all of this with the help of all of us."

Adam: "And how do I do that?"

Allura: "I don't know!"

Admiral: "Watten, don't fail me!"

Adam: "I won't. We've made it too far to fail. Were so close! Everything is in its place but I'm missing something, I just don't know what!"

Shots fire around is, loud, clear and lethal. I can hear everyone whine or hear them hyperventilating. No one wants to be shot, especially when they don't know when or where the threat is coming from.

Adam: "What am I missing!? I don't understand! We're doing everything in the directions!"

Allura: "I don't know what to do! You're the one with power!"

I can hear him start to hyperventilate.

Shiro: "Adam, you're usually at your best under pressure. You used your powers in a time of great threat to us all. Right now, we might be killed. Try to summon your power!"

Instantly, there is another explosion overhead.

Admiral: "Watten, this isn't working."

Adam: "It will work! Just give me some more time!"

Pidge: "You said we'd be okay."

Hunk: "That we'd be protected."

Admiral: "Stand back and call off the mission. I knew it was a failure."

Adam: "Can you all stop talking at once? I can't focus!"

Allura: "We're right here just focus."

Admiral Sanda: "What is your power for anyway?"

Adam: "I don't know. Maybe I'm never going to know. Maybe I should pass it on to someone more qualified than me. Maybe good doesn't win after all, but I know one thing. This was never mine to control."

As Adam rambles on, I start to see something change. My spare Black Paladin armor he's wearing is changing. The glowing V across his chest is going out.

Shiro: "Ok, you need to stop thinking like that! Be positive, you always work best under pressure."

Above our heads, UE Base jets fly in, the roaring of the engine blaring out louder and louder making it hard to hear anything.

Adam: "This was never meant for me alone."

His eyes ignite instantly, and his hands glow a faint silvery light.

Adam: "Control it or not this is for us all."

The black lion rises to his feet behind me.

Adam; "I may never know why I qualify but I just have to hope I can do his."

The yellow lion rises.

Adam: "and if I lose direction, to be guided back."

The Green Lion stands.

Adam: "I know I this world needs people to be saved, and I'm going to do it."

The Red Lion leaps up.

Adam: "I just ask that I'm not alone in this. We're a team. This power is for all of us and for everyone out there."

The Blue Lion rises to her feet.

Adam: "I'm not special, but I know I'm a better person when I have you guys with me. Will you help me?"

The world fades away, the sound the shots it all goes away. I hear his breath, I hear the fear, and the hope in his voice. I answer it.

Everyone: "Yes."

The lions roar in a loud voice, each igniting their distinctive colors.

There is the roll of thunder above where the ash and clouds begin to dissipate in the sky. The darkest shades of grey and silver parting away for the setting sun sky and faint starlight.

A crack of thunder and another explosion meet in the atmosphere, the deathly sound ringing out making the danger once again clear to us all.

Through the parted clouds the stars begin to fall out of the sky to us, begging dragged with a weight so strong but as the stars fall closer to us I realize it isn't stars that are falling from the sky but rather quintessence units. He's opening the quintessence field! Then Adam takes off the gloves over his hands. His hands are glowing but one thing that begins to scare me is his skin is semi-transparent, it must be the lack of cells and molecules in his body. On his left hand is the ring I gave him years ago, the metal burning a fiery gold on the right hand is a clear cut on his palm glowing white blue. It's small but evident.

From the sidelines, I see Krolia, Nachia, and Coran watching from the sidelines.

Everyone standing in front of the lions begins to change as well, their armor glows their distinctive color as well but even then something new happens. Looking down at my hands turning purple, the quintessence units being drawn into me. With each unit, I feel something move within me, something I haven't felt in quite a while. I feel the strength I lost coming back to me. The motivation to see another day, to get out of this alive with everyone I love and care about.

Adam: "Guys, I'm going to need your help right now!"

My attention returns back to Adam as the quintessence takes on a shape around him, forming a large sword glowing silver from the top of the blade down to the hilt. Is so big Adam can early hold it up on his own. He struggles to not drop it but it's slipping out of his fingers. We all make a dash over to him, steaks of our colors behind us as we meet him in the middle.

Adam: "I need help lifting up the sword to the sky. This is what we're using to make a cut in space-time, the astral plane and the quintessence field."

I rip the gloves from my own hands and place one hand over the handle of the sword and my other on the flat of the blade. Pidge holds the stones up from the hilt as well. Hunk rests most of the weight on his shoulder as we all keep one hand on the handle to hold it up and the other on the blade to keep it from falling over.

It's so heavy it's as if the more we support its weight the more weight it gains.

"On three, we lift the blade to the sky and sweep it across!" Adam commands.

"It's too heavy! We need more help!" 

"Krolia, Nachia, Coran, Romelle, and Allura! We need your help to lift the sword!"

The five of them come and support the blade as well. Scape wolf teleports to us, pushing against Keith, supporting him. All eleven of us strain against the weight of the sword, piercing it farther and farther through the layers of the universe. 

"Everyone, push forward!" Adam shouts over the screaming wind.

With great power and force, all of us strain ourselves, screaming against the wind with all out strength. I feel as if my arm can't endure this any longer! The galran prosthetic is starting to bend and crush under the weight. I know I can't feel the pain because it's only metal, but it's the only right arm I have left.

"Keep pushing forward!" Adam shouts.

I push so far it's going to break for sure, but as I see around everyone struggling alongside me I decide that it's worth it. It's worth the loss of my arm. I lunge forward pressing all my weight against the hilt of the sword and in an instant many things happen. 

In a snap and clatter, my arm breaks off at the shoulder and shocks me and I fall to my knees. The sword and my arm clatter to the ground with a loud crash. 

The sword had ripped across the sky, tearing apart the forces of everything known to man. There are two other slashes caused by the sword. A tear in the astral plane and a rip in the quintessence field. Quintessence units flood out of the open wound like a tidal wave in bright colors in an amount enough to drown the Earth and all of us. I shield my eyes from the shower of incoming quintessence but Adam stands strong against the wave as it crashes down. The wave hits us and flares out, igniting the obsidian sky like wings. There is a voice I've never heard before. A lion's roar. The voice sounds newer, younger, innocent and eager. The quintessence clusters together around Adam and for the first time, he has absolute control. The light around him condenses in his hands, and he holds the quintessence in his grasp but he does not absorb it. Instead, he holds it in his hands gently.

He goes over to me and reaches his hand out to my shoulder but I pull back from him. 

"No! Save it! Use it for the Lion!" I plead, holding my arm over my shoulder. 

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes!"

"Where is the ruin of the galaxy Garrison and Atlas?" 

"To the east."

"How far are from it?"

"Not too far. It should be close."

Adam reaches for my left hand and pulls me up from the ground. In the other hand he picks up the sword and this time is able to raise it on his own, aided by the strength of the quintessence. Holding it out he extends it and it brightens, sending out light and clearing the ash away from us. He points it in the direction of the ruined Atlas and Garrison. The rubble and ruined metal still there, throwing shadows upon the land from the light.

"Follow me!" Adam shouts to all of us and we all pursue in his lead. 

One by one we follow Adam in the direction of the ruins. Upon arrival Adam places his hands over the ruins and from his hand, the quintessence extends out covering the ruin in quintessence. As the quintessence spreads out it begins to shape form. It breaks apart into units being carried by quintessence and begins to form something new. Adam keeps his hands on the Lions, focusing all his energy on the physical creation of the vessel of the White Lion. Slowly, a figure begins to form from the quintessence and broken materials. The Lion begins to take shape. As Adam focuses the other Lions gather around to protect us all while watching Lion's creation. Every part being made is being created to look just like the other Lions. Something moves as if it was moving in their sleep. From the quintessence, more distinct physical features begin to form, and a body can be seen coming together. Arms, legs, a torso, and a tail are beginning to form. From what I can see, the White Lion is a mixture of all the physical features of the Lions but distinctly the size of the Black Lion. Suddenly, out steps a leg, the quintessence pulling back to reveal silver claws and shining metal. The lion shakes off the layer of quintessence and fully reveals itself to us. 

This is the White Lion in its full being.


	52. The White Lion

Adam's POV

I collapse to my knees, exhausted. My knees slam into the ground and I lay a hand down to catch myself. I'm so exhausted I could lay here. The deathly sound of a Lion's roar can't shake me.

"Adam!"

I hear people shout my name in concern and fear.

People run to my sides and bring their arms around me. I look up at the White Lion as it peers down at me. I try to push off the ground and people support my weight on their shoulders. I push myself off my knees and back onto my feet. All of us are face to face with the massive size of the Lion, powerful enough to crush us, mysterious enough to keep us guessing.

Having being built from the leftover wreckage, the lion's colors match the Garrison and Atlas. The Lion was modeled after the Black Lion, making their designs exact copies, but there is a difference in color. Where the Black Lion is pained black, the White Lion is pained matte silver. Where there are red accents, there is orange. Where there are yellow markings, there are black markings. The glowing blue stays the same. The eyes aren't yellow like the other lions. Instead, they are white.

"Guys, the wreckage is gone!" someone shouts. Behind me, the wreckage of the Garrison and Atlas really are gone. In their place is dust. It finally occurs to me to look around us. The sounds of the shots and explosions are gone and instead of ash are faint quintessence particles forming a barrier around us all. From the other side are the flashes of light, but there is no sound. There is only calm within this small atmosphere. I turn back the lion who looks off into the distance, then back at all of us huddled together.

The lion leans down to me, looking at me curiously. I reach out my hand and the Lion shifts close enough for us to connect and to raise me up. Instantly I feel a connection, a surge of energy and I am able to stand without help but I keep my hand on the muzzle of the Lion, and I lean in to press my forehead to the metal as well. I expected the metal to be cold but instead, it's warm and alive. There is a pulling feel to the lion, a sense of newness, innocence, and purity. This Lion is new, and opening their eyes to the world for the first time. I'm sorry to say all they can see is ash and dust in this troubled world beyond the barrier of all it's ever known so far. I try to talk to the lion. Maybe bond a little.

"Hey," I say, not really knowing how else to communicate. "I'm your paladin now," I whisper softly.

The Lion makes a croon of greeting.

Just in the radio chat signals again.

Admiral Sanda: "Wow, I didn't think you'd actually be able to do that. Uh, congrats!"

Excuse me, but we are having a bonding moment!

The radio pulls my attention away from the lion.

Adam: "Thanks, I guess. You had orders for us to leave?"

Admiral Sanda: "Yes. The building is about to collapse! Get in your lions! Go!"

I turn my back to the lions to address the team.

Adam: "Everyone, you heard her. To your lions. Nachia, Go with Hunk. Krolia, stay with Keith. Romelle, go with Pidge. Coran, go with Lance. Allura, I'm going to need you to guide me through basic piloting skills."

Everyone nods.

Adam: "To your lions!"

Everyone runs off to their lions but I place my hand on the White Lion one last time before entering.

"You and I are going to have to bond later. In the time I've known you, will you let me pilot?" I ask.

The lion makes a murmur of agreement and opens their mouth to let me in. Allura and I dash in. Instead of a darker corridor, the inner walls of the halls and chambers of the Lion are white with blue lights. Everything is so much brighter inside.

Together, Allura and I make it to the pilot cabin where everything looks identical to the other pilot cabins except for the color scheme. Everything is either white, orange, or glowing cyan blue. I sit down in the pilot chair carefully looking at all the control panels glowing orange. The screen up front shows everyone making it to their lions and each taking off one by one into the sky, breaking the barrier and flying away. I look back at everything around me. All the switches, buttons, panels confuse, excite and intimidate me. I don't know where to start. The one thing that seems to stand out to me is the throttles. Placing my hands over the white colored and orange and blue accented throttles, I grip onto them, a sense of excitement, fear, and bewilderment coursing through my veins. I take my time adjusting but Allura smacks the upside of my helmet.

"We have to go! Take the handles and push them up," she says motioning to the throttles in my hands.

"Like this?" I ask, pulling them up and out, instantly regretting that decision.

The lion jerks up and leaps into the air some 100 feet and instantly a thruster turns on and the next thing I know is I'm blasting upwards and yelling so loud everyone can hear me. Or maybe Allura. I'm too scared to look back for fear I'll run into something but I think she's gripping onto the seat screaming for dear life.

Allura: "ADAM! WHAT THE QUIZNACK!"

Takashi: "Adam! Slow down!"

Adam: "HOW!?"

The lion is blasting forward with so much speed! Can ships even go this fast!? I'm going in a straight line in what I guess is a 30-degree angle upward through ash I can beardly see through. I'm going to crash or run into something! Or someone!

Hunk: "You have to slow down!"

Adam: "HOW DO I DO THAT!?"

Pidge: "ADAM SHIFT RIGHT!"

In fear and panic, I pull the throttles back to the right.

"ADAM! NO!" Allura shouts from behind me.

The lion breaks the cloud of ash on the ground and suddenly I can see the other lions hovering in place. Suddenly, the speed of the White Lion decreases to a near complete stop.

Adam: "Oh thank god."

And then we start falling going back through the ash cloud.

Adam: "WHY!?"

I yank the throttles straight up and the lion shoots up again so fast I nearly fall out of the seat.

Adam: "ALLURA, A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE GREAT!"

Allura: "YEAH, NO QUIZNACK!"

She pulls herself to the side of the seat and leans over me placing her hands firmly over mine and begins to pilot using my hands. Steadily, she pushes my hands forwards, up and out. Instantly the lion responds, slowing down and flying forward and a slight upward angle.

Allura: "Do you see? It's all about gentle motions of the throttles. The direction of the throttles tells the lion which direction, how much power and at what line of accent or decent to travel by. The farther you push in any direction, the faster the lion will go.

Adam: "So um, how do I land?"

Allura: "*facepalms* We'll deal with that when the time comes."

She takes her hands away from mine and I begin to pilot on my own. I lift the throttle slightly, pulling out of the ash cloud.

Hunk: "Over there!"

Pidge: "Adam! We see you!"

Takashi: "Hey, you're getting it!"

Adam: "I know! It's easy!"

Over the radio, I can hear some stifled laughter.

Keith: "You're also going the wrong way."

Adam: "Oh come on!"

Before I can shift the throttles, Allura again puts her hands over mine and gently glides them in a sweeping motion to the side and the lion turns. When the others fall back into sight, she sweeps the throttles back into the forward position. We begin heading to the other lions. Allura keeps her hands over mind still and slowly brings the throttles back, slowing the lion to a complete hover next to the other lions.

Romelle: "You made it!"

Krolia: "Not bad, rookie."

Coran: "We'll get the basics down in no time. We just need to get to the new location."

Adam: "Which is?"

Takashi: "Universal Extension Base #J.pm-7."

Lance: "We're finding out the exact coordinates. We're going to meet the other UE Base leaders there. The base is far larger than the one we made here. One of the largest of all the bases."

Adam: "How big?"

Pidge: "We don't know. Maybe it's the size of the Garrison."

Takashi: "Guys I'm getting the coordinates now."

Admiral Sanda: "Shirogane, I just sent them to you. Do you have the coordinates?"

Takashi: "..."

Admiral Sanda: "Shirogane, do you copy."

Takashi: "Oh my god."

He sounds so shocked, so vulnerable. I don't know where we're being sent but I can tell that the place means the world to him.

Admiral Sanda: "We're going to the seventh base in Japan."

Takashi: "Miyagi ken, Nihon. Watashinoie."

Everyone (Besides Adam): "Huh?"

Takashi: "My home. Miyagi Prefecture, Japan."

Suddenly his voice changes to desperation.

Takashi: "My home village, my people!"

Admiral Sanda: "We aren't going to a village. We're heading to the heart of Sendai City. They are 16 hours ahead of us so by the time we get there it will be around their afternoon, out nighttime. Get there, rest and wait for further instruction."

Takashi goes silent. I know he wants to know about his family, but he keeps his mouth shut. I bet he's thinking about his dad. I clear my throat and begin talking again, trying to recall all my lessons from Takashi and duolingo when we were younger.

Adam: "Anata no otōsan ga anata o hokori ni omoimasu ka? Do you think your Dad would be proud of you?"

He sighs.

Takashi: "Utagawashī. I doubt it."


	53. Owe Me Nothing

Shiro's POV

Throttles in hand, I glide them down gently on the landing pads. The pads are so huge, two lions can land at a time and Keith sets down on my right. This must be one of the reasons Admiral Sanda has chosen to send us to Sendai City. The lion touches down and I shut off the thrusters. The screen goes dark and the Lion falls asleep. After five hours of piloting, I'm ready to fall asleep. Up in the Air, Lance and the others are still gliding down to the landing pads as they pass buildings and fly up above passerbys.

Lance: "Wow, this is Sendai City?"

Keith: "I guess so."

Pidge: "Look at the buildings!"

Hunk: "I've seen this place but only in pictures."

Lance: "Shiro! Are you seeing this?"

I close my eyes and I can see the outside world, not through the vision of the lion, but through pas memories of this place. I smile.

Shiro: "Yeah."

Coran: "Do you know this place?"

Shiro: "Yes."

Nachia: "Will you be an active translator for us?"

Shiro: "Yes. And so will Adam."

Adam: "Hey, is everyone okay?"

Everyone: "*Various commentary but mostly positive assurance of good health and well being*"

Shiro: "I guess-"

Admiral Sanda: "Alright Paladin crew. Welcome to the Sendai City Universal Extension base. I brought you guys here because this is one of the largest Extension Bases. From here on out, we will make a plan of action, but there is a surprise waiting outside for you all."

Lance: "What is it?"

Admiral Sanda: "Don't make me play guess and tell. Just get out here. You need some recovery time anyway."

Romelle: "What's the surprise?"

Nachia: "I don't know. She seemed to be referring to the Paladins specifically."

Adam: "Takashi? Are you coming?"

Shiro: "Yes"

I get up out of the pilot seat, a small eagerness in my step. I almost jump out of the mouth of the lion, my feet slamming into the ground for what feels like the first time ever. The first thing that hits me is a draft of bitterly cold air. I breathe it in, filling my lungs with the fresh sweet air, and I let it out in a small cloud that dissipates before my eyes. The air, the chilly bite, the atmosphere, it's all coming back to me. I take off my helmet and the icy wind hits my face sharply. I've never felt more alive. I look up and out to a building that looks slightly familiar. The Medical Atrium. I remember this place.

Behind me, I feel someone tug on my arm. I look back to see the team, remembering that they are here as well. In the cold air, a few of them are shivering and huddled together.

"It's weird. There's no snow here." Adam mutters to himself. "It must be at least in late November."

"Or early December."

I look out to see Admiral Sanda walking to us with someone who looks like an administrator here. They have the Universal Extension Base uniform with a Japanese flag on the arm. I begin walking forward and so does everyone but the crowd behind me.

"Welcome to Sendai City Paladin team. And to Officer Shirogane, welcome home."

"Thank you. It's an honor to be back."

"Admiral Sanda has informed me about the surprise she has waiting-"

"Lance!" Someone shouts. I look off to the side to see a family coming toward us, all wrapped in coats and scarves. The colors flashing a contrast to the overcast sky.

"And that would be them." the administrator says, stepping aside to let everyone see. 

Suddenly, Lance breaks from the group and runs to them. Two smaller kids run ahead from the group to meet him.

"Tio Lance!"

Lance kneels down to embrace them.

"Hey!"

As Lance's family surrounds him, more people walk out.

A much smaller family of three come out, and all of them are wearing Galaxy Garrison HQ Uniforms. Upon closer notice, It's Samuel and his family. I feel someone push out from behind me and I step to the side to let Pidge run to her family. Their dog barking and pulling against her leash.

"Mom, Dad! Matt!"

They welcome her with open arms.

Hunk's family arrives as well. All of them, with tears in their eyes, welcome the kids. Each of then run to their families, screaming their names as they hear their back. 

Pidge returns back to the paladin team with her family, Of them, Mr. Holt approaches me. 

"Mr. Holt, It's good to have you back," I say, reaching out my hand but instead of shaking my hand, Sam just pulls me into a hug. I embrace him back with just as much ferocity.

"Thank you for taking care of my kids."

"Officer Shirogane!" someone shouts in the crowd.

One by one, parents come up to me and express their thanks. Groups of people gather around me and embrace me. They shake my hand and with tears in their eyes, they claim they owe me something. I turn them all down.

"We have to owe you back in some way." Lance's mother says. 

"You guys don't owe me a thing," I say, addressing them all. 

"But my children."

"You saved them."

"You took care of them."

Everyone begins spewing excuses, trying to honor me and what I did for them. 

"I didn't do it alone. Allura and Coran really helped me. The rest of the team did. They're the ones to thank." I say, introducing the rest of the team. 

I did it for my sake and my own, protecting them. In the end, they could protect themselves.

Allura and the others step up and accept words of encouragement, thankfulness, and appreciation. Krolia begins a small conversation with some of the mothers. Of them, I look out to find my own, but she isn't to be found. 

"Officer Shirogane, Is there something wrong?" Sam asks me. 

"No. Not at all I just-"

Adam pushes between us. 

"I'm sorry, but could you excuse us for a moment?"

"Of course Officer Watten."

"Thanks."

Adam takes my hand and pulls me out of the swarming people off to the side. Once away from the crowd, I drop his hand. He doesn't seem to notice. 

"Thanks for getting me out of that." 

"It seemed overwhelming." He says, patting my back. I look over to all the families flocking around the kids.

"It was. I didn't do anything but my job keeping them alive."

"It's truly an honorable thing that you did."

"They think they owe me something. They don't."

"Why not?"

This whole time, I was beginning to feel like a part of a huge family. Not an adult to watch after rogue teens. 

"I didn't protect them seeking glory. I kept them alive because the kids deserved more. They deserved to see their families again. And now they have. That's all I could ever ask for."

"That's admirable."

"You played your part. I played mine. Let's let that go now." 

Adam sighs, scanning over the people huddled in the cold. Each family has provided a jacket or clothing to keep the team warm. Adam and I are standing under the lion in our matching Paladin armor. 

"You know the war isn't over. We have a chance now."

"We do. Thanks to you and what you have to offer the team."

Our eyes meet and I can see the tones of multicolor and hazel. 

"We're back in war mode, huh?"

"All the way. We don't have time to waste. We have to get back to training, working hard."

He nudges me slightly.

"Save some mental space for yourself."

"I will."

Families begin to go inside. One by one, the team follows as well, leaving us under the Lions. We'll go in at our own pace. I just want to breathe in the cold for just a little longer. It's been a long time since I stood outside in the cold just to watch the clouds of breath flow from my mouth or breathe in the chilled air. To just embrace the feeling of home. 

"Is your family here?" Adam asks. 

I look out one last time, scanning for a familiar face, for someone familiar. 

"No," I mutter. Before I can ask about him, he cuts me off, something serious in his tone. 

"Have you thought about your father? What you're going to do?"

"We have a war to fight. if I see him, it's just going to distract me."

Adam takes my hand in his. It's cold, but I know it's warm up in mine. 

"You need to know that we are a team. I don't know if closure is what you want but I think it's something you need." 

I find myself nodding along to his words. 

"You need to get over the fear of failing your family. You have done so many honorable things. They will be proud of you. I'm proud of you, so be proud of yourself. Is the sexuality thing holding you back?"

"Yeah. I don't know if the politics here have changed but I wouldn't hold hands here if I were you."

"Oh, sorry." He mutters and drops our hands quickly, not having enough time to warm up quite yet. He glances around to make sure no one was looking.

"You better talk to Lance and Keith about that, "I mention. 

"I will."

Just as I'm about to comment someone's loud brash voice shouts from somewhere, making me jump. I know that brashness anywhere!

(Using google translate)

"Taka Okāsan! Takashi you motherfucker!"

And also that bad attitude. 

"Miho?" I look around for the source of the voice. I look around but no one is to be seen, that is until I turn around to see a young woman in a UE Base uniform sprinting at me at full speed, her long dark hair waving against the wind. Her expression is mixed, but something in her voice tells me she isn't pleased. 

"Anata wa kiraidesu! You asshole!" She screams, obviously enraged.

"Oh my god did she see us?" Adam panics slightly. 

"I don't know!"

Before I know it, Miho jumps up and tackles me, pouncing on me. I take a shaky step back as I catch her.

"Ahh! Miho!" I shout as the weight of her force pushes me back so far, I slip and fall onto Adam who struggles to push us off of him. Adam gets out from under us and I'm left flat on the ground with Miho hovering over me.

"Sore de, anata wa anata ga ninmu ni iki, 4-nenkan yukue fumei ni naru koto ga dekiru to omoimasu ka? Soshite ude no shiroi kami ga tarizu ni modottekita. So you think you can go on a mission and go missing for four years? And come back with a missing arm white hair and whatever the fuck happened?" she screams in outrage.

"Miho! Setsumei dekimasu! Miho! I can explain!" I plead, getting to my knees.

She punches me in the chest, knocking me back slightly while Adam looks at us with an expression that says "the fuck!?"

"Anata wa watashi no kekkonshiki o nogashitanode hanashi o suru koto o o susume shimasu, okāsan wa byōki ni natte shinpai shite imashita, Aoyama wa kurutte oiyara remashita, watashi no kodomo wa anata ni aenai yō ni shite imasu. You better get to talking because you missed my wedding, Mom has been worried sick, Aoyama has been driven crazy, MY KIDS HAVE BEEN DYING TO MEET YOU!" 

As she repeatedly punches me, the blows get lighter and lighter and she starts poking me, showing her softer older sister side.

"Minogashita yo, Miho, I missed you too, Miho," I say. She holds out her hand for me to take and she pulls me right back up to my feet with surprising strength. I take her into my arms in a bone-crushing hug, just the way she likes them. 

"Iya. Watashi wa anata ga inakute sabishīdesu. Nope. I missed you more." 

"Hontōni? Watashi wa anata ga ichiban koishikatta. Really? I missed you the most."

"O shiri ni naranaide kudasai. Don't be an ass." she giggles, hitting me on the shoulder slightly. "Tokorode, kīsu wa doko ni imasu ka? By the way, where is Keith?

"Asoko. Over there," I say, pointing off in the distance to the team and families going inside. 

"Keith!" She shouts, running to the group. Keith sees her and calls back. 

"Miho!"

"Keiiiiiiiith!"

Of course, he's her favorite. She pulls him up into her arms and showers him with affection. In the corner of my eye I can see Krolia eyeing my sister but when I catch her gaze, she smiles at me, letting me know it's okay. 

"It's getting cold for me. I'm going to go inside, but find your brother, okay?"

"I will."

Adam turns to follow the others inside. I watch him leave, the black paladin armor glinting in the sun. We are going to have to change the color. 

"Baka-Chan! (Baka means idiot)"someone shouts from behind me using a stupid childhood pet name of mine. I'm glad to hear someone call me that again, even if it's just a playful insult. 

I turn around to see another person wearing a UE Base uniform and I instantly recognize his face. We used to look alike. We had the same black hair, dark eyes, same face, and smile (At least that's what I was told by my mom). It used to be every now and then we'd get mixed up, but I don't think that will ever be a problem again considering all of those have changed. At least nothing has changed him too drastically for him. 

"Ni-Chan! (Means older brother)"

He pulls me into an embrace. 

"Shibaraku tachimashita. It's been a while," he comments.

"Michi ga naga sugiru. Way too long." I reiterate. 

He pulls back to look at me. 

"Uwa ̄ , supēsu wa hontōni anata ni futan o kakemashita. Anata wa otōsan no yō ni miemasu. Wow, space really took a toll on you. You look like dad." he laughs, ruffling my hair.

" watashi wa sō shimasu. Kare wa dōdeshita ka? Heh, I bet I do. How has he been?"

His expression changes to melancholy.

"Kin'nen wa sorehodo yoku arimasen. Not so well in recent years." 

"Kare wa daijōbudarou ka? Is he going to be okay?" 

"wakarimasen. Kare no kokoro wa kare o shippai sa sete imasu. Modotte kite yokattadesu. Anata wa ie ni kaeranakereba narazu, anata no sayōnara o iu. Well, I don't know. His heart is failing him. It's good you came back. You have to home and say your goodbyes."

I nod, trying to hide the devastation, noticing the word 'goodbye' and the sadness behind it. It's like his words are numbing my reality a bit. Only when I see him is it all going to hit me hard. 

"Shikashi, au atarashī hito ga imasu. Mata kibō ga aru. But there are new people to meet. There's hope again," he says, bringing light to the conversation, as he always does. 

By now Miho has let Keith go inside and she joins us. She pulls the three of us into a group embrace. Arms over shoulders, all squeezed into the middle. We've done this so many times. When we were kids when I left for the Garrison, and now huddled in the cold almost fourteen years later. 

"Mata aeru to wa omowanakatta. Karera wa anata ga shinda to itta. I never thought I'd see you again. They said you were dead." Aoyama says.

I can hear his voice shaking slightly. 

"Watashi wa jibun no sei ni suru junbi ga dekite ita- I was so ready to blame myself I-"

"Īe, jibun no koto o semenaide kudasai. No. Don't blame yourself for a thing," I assure him.

"Gomen'nasai. I'm sorry," he mumbles.

"Sore wa anata no seide wanaidesu yo ne. Anata wa machigatta koto o shimasendeshita. It wasn't your fault, okay? You didn't do a thing wrong."

"Jūyōna no wa watashitachi ga daijōbuda to iu kotodesu. Watashitachiha issho ni imasu. What matters is we're okay. We're together." Miho promises. "Daremoga-ka de matteimasu. Okāsan, otōsan, o bāchan, ojīchan. Everyone is waiting at home. Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, all our aunts and uncles," 

Miho and Aoyama look at one another and smile. Then they turn to me.

"Soshite anata no atarashī akutō to oi. And your new nices and nephews."

"Kimitachi ga ima kazoku o motte iru nante shinji rarenai yo. I can't believe you guys have families now."

"Watashitachi wa anata yori mo toshiuedesu, anata wa uchū de tachiōjō shite imashitaga, ima anata no ushironi. Ima, anata wa anata no kazoku mo tsukuru koto ga dekimasu. I mean, we're older than you, you were stuck in space, but your back now. Now you get to make your family too." 

I look out to see everyone has gone inside.

"Watashi wa motte iru to omoimasu. I think I have." 

We break away from the hug, the small gather warmth keeping us from the biting cold. Even as we let go, it doesn't dissipate. Maybe the warmth is coming from within the three of us. 

As we walk back, they smile at me and ruffle my hair again. 

"Anata wa mō sorehodo chīsaku wa arimasen. You're not so small anymore," Miho says.

"Watashi wa kesshite chīsakunakatta. I never was small." I point out.

身長が小さい、中心部が大きい。お母さんのようにいつも言った。Shinchō ga chīsai, chūshin-bu ga ōkī. Okāsan no yō ni itsumo itta.

Small in stature, big in heart. Like mom always said.


	54. The Pink Paladin

Allura's POV

Shivering from the outside air, Adam walks through the doors to the entrance of the whitewashed building hugging his arms close to his body for warmth. As he steps inside and gets used the temperature change, he slowly stops shivering.

The Sendai base administrator ushers us inside. As I open my eyes to the surroundings, I see that this place looks somewhat like the Galaxy Garrison HQ, but the walls are plainer, whiter. There's a rigidness and strictness here. It's almost like a vapor in the air. Something tells me we are going to be watched all the time.

The administrator pulls out what looks like a small speaker and clips it to the collar of his uniform jacket. It looks like an audio piece. The administrator starts speaking, but as he does, the small audio piece begins to translate his words into English.

"This is the Medical Atrium. Some of you have injuries that need medical attention right away. Um, where is Officer Shirogane?" the administrator asks.

"Outside, reuniting with his siblings," Adam explains promptly.

"Excellent. I will see to him in just a moment. As for you all, follow me to your individual rooms please."

We follow the administrator down a whitewashed hall. There are signs on the walls and overhead us but the strange writing, I can't decode it. They don't look like pictures. Some simpler looking symbols repeat but more complex looking symbols stand alone.

"Adam, can you read that?"

"I can try."

(Still using google translate)

"回復. It means recovery."

"What does that one say?" Pidge asks.

Adam bearly looks at the symbols. He leans closer to pidge and whispers the answer instead of saying it aloud.

"It's the Psychological Illness Ward."

"Depression Ward?" She asks.

"Depression Ward." He confirms.

Pidge doesn't ask any more questions. Neither do I.

Eventually, we come to a hallway with numbers on the doors, each bearing our name and some symbols underneath.

"In each room, there is a uniform for you to wear and some basic technology pieces. You will get a keycard, an iwatch X, and a translator earpiece. Your Iwatch X will allow you to send messages, obtain information, and direct you through the Base. You all have the rest of the day to rest and recover. Pidge, Lance, Keith, and Hunk, you four will be escorted to different parts of the base where your injuries can be taken care of. You will follow me, but for the rest of you, I advise you get sustenance and sleep."

We all go into our rooms and let the others follow the administrator.

As I walk into the door, I find it's quite pleasant. The warm tones of color are very comforting. The room is simple, but it is relaxing. The window shades are drawn halfway, letting light come into the room and fall across the hardwood floors. A closet off to the side is open with multiple sets of uniforms, but a special jacket is left on a hanger.  
I pull it out and touch the thick fabric, noting the silky interlining. Taking it off the hanger, I lift it up to get a better look. The shoulders and a line down the sleeves are colored pink, there are two gold stripes on the shoulders, it buttons down the side, and a belt that loops around the waist bears the Voltron V on the buckle. I look down to see my filthy and damaged Paladin armor. Immediately, I see to that my door is closed and locked before I slip off the armor pieces and undersuit. I change into comfortable sweatpants, boots, and a T-shirt. I slip the pink jacket over my shoulders and button it on the side. It's form fitting, but it's comfortable, breathable, and I can move easily in it. I close the closet door to find a mirror. Upon seeing my reflection, I step back to take in the full view. Hands on my hips, I admire the jacket but I notice the dirty armor on the floor by my feet.

Picking it up, I decided to lay the undersuit over a chair at a desk by my bedside and leave the armor pieces underneath.

On the desk is a small lamp and the earpiece and watch the administrator was talking about. I slip the watch on my wrist and put the earpiece in my ear.

Eyeing the watch, I think to myself how nontech savvy I am, but It couldnt hurt to fool around with the thing. I gently press the top of the square screen and it lights up immediately, showcasing a pink V background, time, charge percentage, and directions.

(Is it a good time to mention that I have never had an iWatch and I have no idea what I'm talking about?)

As I tap on the screen, a blue bubble pops up with text inside. It says: "Allura, meet me in room 1037."  
Above the bubble, I see Adam's name. I click on the bubble and two options appear. I can respond to him in a text message or an audio recording. I choose the text option and reply back: "Will do, Adam."

I step back from the desk and leave my room, taking my key card with me. Stepping out into the hallway I see that room 1037 isn't too far away. I walk up to the room and I knock soflt. Almost instantly, it's opened and I find Adam. I notice that he's wearing a jacket similar to mine, except where mine is pink on top and white on bottom, he is white on top and black on the bottom.

"You look good," I tell him.

He smiles and invites me in. His room is identical to mine and his paladin armor is piled in a heap at the foot of the closet.

"So you wanted to see me?" I ask.

"Yes. I still have no idea how to pilot the lion. In fact, I bearly know anything about it." he explains, his face showcasing concern.

"But, you made it, kind of." I say gesturing to him.

"Nope. I don't even know what I did." He says, shrugging his shoulders. "Is there anything about it you can tell me?" he asks.

"Well, what I can tell, it is nearly identical to the Black Lion, but it has a different color scheme. White, black and grey with orange and yellow accents. The interior design is the same, it's just white and the screens glow orange." I say.  
Adam begins to pace back and forth.

"It's made from the rubble of the garrison so that would make sense." I add.

"You couldn't tell anything was different functionality wise?" He asks, still pacing.

"The throttle action was the same. The screens and data looked idential to that of the other lions. I am just going to assume that the basic functions are identical to the other lions as well but there are other things to consider."

"Like what?" He asks.

"Each lion is individually different from the others. They have different personalities, different weapons, strengths and weaknesses. As far as I can see, the white Lion isn't another attachment to Voltron. It is in of itself something separate. You are the creator so did you have anything specific in mind when you made the Lion?"

"No. If the lion isn't an attachment to Voltron, how useful can it be? What is it used for?"

"The lions standing alone are for combat. I assume the White Lion is made to be the same."

Adam stops his pacing for a moment, deep in thought. He let's a few ticks go by before saying anything again.

"You said something fifteen ticks ago. The lion was a reflection of me?"

"Yes. The lion chooses the pilot to be a paladin. Didn't the lion choose you?"

"I bearly got any time to get an understanding of the lion. From what I remember, it understood what I was saying. It even made a sound. It didn't say anything to you?"

"No. The other lions can talk somewhat. Some are more talkative than others, but I can't hear everything."

Adam goes back to pacing.

"In the ride here did you get anything from the lion?"

"No. It didn't say anything."

Adam goes over to the window and pulls the blind completley up, letting the faint sunlight envelope the room. He looks outside to catch a glimpse of the city buildings in the distance, and a few of the lions on their landing pads. There are people down below but I can tell his attention is focused on the lion.

"Can you reach your lion?"

"How do I do that?"

"It's something I can't put into words. You just call them."

Adam places his hand on the glass, the warms emitting a foggy outline around his hand.

"Okay. I'll try."

He closes his eyes and slows his breathing. He rests his forehead against the glass. While he's concentrating, I walk up beside him and try to do the same, but the familiar sense of response isn't there.

"Nope. I'm getting nothing," he says eventually.

"Neither am I. Not even a connection to any other lion?"

"Nope."

"Then that means you have some bonding to do."

Adam steps back from the glass and faces me.

"How do I bond?"

"It's like getting to know a friend."

Adam thinks for a tick.

"I want you to come with me. You know the most about Altean Tech. I can use my engineering skills but they'll only take me so far."

I nod and we leave the Recovery Atrium.

"Futari wa dokoheikuno?Where are you two going?" a nurse asks after stopping us at the doorway.

".We have some lion bonding to do," I explain.

She gives us a strange look and lets us go.

We push open the doors and walk out into the chilly air. We go out to the landing pads the the farthest pad to where the White Lion sits.

Upon standing in front of it, it does not show any signs of activating.

"Is it asleep?" Adam asks.

"Yes. You need to wake it up."

Adam stand under the lion. He places his hand on one of the shining claws of the front foot.

"Hey, it's me again." He says, rubbing the metal softly.

"Are you talking to the lion?"

"Uh, Yes. Isn't that what your supposed to do?"

"I mean I try to reach the lion mentally but I guess speaking aloud is fine."

He gives me an unsure look. I nod to him. He turns back to the Lion and proceeds talking aloud.

"I know we haven't bonded much. We were in such a hurry to get out of the war zone but I'm ready now. You let me pilot you, remember?"

The lions eyes glow silvery light and the lion leans down to Adam.

Adam leans against the muzzle of the lion, speaking soothingly.

"I'm ready to bond with you."

The lion opens their mouth, accepting him. Adam looks back at me.

"Come on." He says, motioning me to follow him.

"No. This is your lion to control." I say stepping back.

"Allura, if I fail to perform as a skilled pilot, I'm going to need you to pilot instead." He says firmly.

"That's impossible. That would make me a second White Paladin."

"Maybe that's what I want you to be."

The sudden shock has me speechless for a few ticks. Two paladins for one Lion? Black used to be indecisive and I thought that was strange but two paladins to one lion is absurd!

"No. I can't. You're the one who made the Lion."

"And I'm the one who will let you pilot it alongside me." He states.

The lion hums in agreement.

I walk up and lay my hand on the lower jaw of the Lion.

"Will you let me?" I ask.

Somewhere in my mind I hear a child's voice.

"Yes."

It's strange. Each lion has their own unique voice, but this voice clearly belongs to a child. It suggest the youth of this lion. Perhaps a naivety as well.

Adam holds out his hand to me. I look at him, and everything about his expression screams confidence.   
I take his hand and he pulls me into the mouth, the jaws closing around us and bathing us in darkness. Light along the floor glow white and lead to the opening of the throat and we follow the trail of lights until he reach the inner chamber.

"You are the former Blue Paladin. I'm sure the piloting isn't a problem for you, but we'll both need to practice and train." He says, as we climb through the inner chamber corridor to the pilot cabin doors.

Upon entering the Pilot cabin, the seating arrangement has changed somewhat. Instead of one pilot seats, there are two. The dashboard of the Lion has widened and accommodated for each lever, button, and data screen to be visible and accessible on each side. On eather side of both chairs are throttles. Ultimately, we could pilot the lion at the same time.

"Looks like White already made accommodations for us." I say.

"Which means you have to pilot with me." He says.

"Why are you so sure you need me?" I ask.

"Didn't I tell you why?"

"No."

"Oh..." his voice trails off.

Something about his demeanor changes. The confidence spike wears off. I look back to him to see something change in his expression. It's an expression of grief. Something I've never really seen from him. It concerns me immediately.

"Adam?"

I place my hand in his shoulder gently.

"My younger brother Jacob was a cadet." He says finally. "He had a talent for piloting."

"I didn't know you had a brother."

"I used to have a brother. He died in a jet crash. Somehow his plane went offline. Next thing you know he shows up dead in the middle of the dessert." (DreamWorks)

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Adam signs. From under my hand I can feel his shoulder tense up then loosen and hang limp.

"I've been afraid of piloting ever since. Piloting the Lion to Sendai was hard enough but When I realized that you were next to me and you understood how to pilot, I wasn't so afraid anymore." He confesses. He looks up at me, the grief supporting undertones of grey and blue in his eyes, but something in them suggest determination.

"And that's why I need you. You bring so much to the team and seeing you take a weaker role isn't good for any of us. You are more important than I am. If at any time I can't go on serving as the White Paladin, you have to take over in my place. Okay?"

"But-"

"Please? For the team." He pleads.

"Okay." I sigh.

Still keeping my hand in his shoulder I pull him into a hug.

"I'm sorry about your brother, but you and I are going to pilot this lion in his memory."

"And for the hope of a better future." He says back.

He pulls away and softly smiles at me.

"Now lets get to bonding." He says.

I think it's strange how he got over the topic of his brother's death so quickly, but maybe he's had so many years of sitting with the idea it doesn't hurt him as badly.

We go over to the different pilot chairs.

"You have a preferred side?" He asks me.

"No." I shrug.

"Well, I'll take left. You take right."

"Why left?" I ask.

Is he going into this thinking I'll take a dominant roll in piloting? We're sharing it equally, aren't we?

"I may be ambidextrous, but I'm mostly left handed. The controls are on the left side so it will be easier for me to reach them."

"Okay."

We sit in the chairs and we each place our hands on the throttles. Instantly, everything ignited white and orange.

"Okay. How do we bond?"

"It's like getting to know someone. You just have to get a sense of what they're like." I explain.

"Okay. From the get go something about this lion is new. The other lions have this ancientness to them this lion completely lacks."

"Okay. Newness. That's a start. Be open to key things like that."

Adam fiddles around with the throttles until the lion jumps up to all fours with a jolt.

"AHHH ALLURA HELP ME WHAT DID I DO?!" He screams, letting go of the throttles and recoiling back in his chair.

"You touched the throttles."

"Ok. How do I get the lion to sit back down?" He asks, his breathing elevated and his hand shaking.

"You calm down first. And then you take the throttles and glide them back into place." I explain taking his wrists in my hands to steady them.

"This is exactly why I suck at piloting." He says his voice wavering.

"You don't suck. You're new to this. Just like the White Lion. You two will adjust, now hide the throttles back in place."

I release Adam's hands has he shakily puts his hand on the throttles and glides then back but he misses the click that indicates they are back in place and pulls them all the way back sending the lion into a crouch.

"OK! SCREW THIS! YOU BE THE PALADIN!"

"You can't just freak out so soon. It takes patience to pilot the lion. You have to listen for certain clicks that indicate they are in the resting position. Push the throttles forward and listen for the click."

Adam pushes the throttles forward slowly, listening for the click and then the throttles click into place.

"They also vibrate slightly when they click so if there is too much noise you can still tell when they are in the resting position."

"Oh good." He says exasperatedly.

"You want to play around with the throttle controls?"

"No. I think I'll save that for training day."

"Now that you have basic knowledge about throttle control, let's try talking to the lion."

"Okay. You said you liked to do it mentally."

"Yes."

"How does that work."

"It's like talking to yourself in your head but to the lion."

He gives me a strange look.

"And how do you know the lion is listening?"

"You'll just know. Now concentrate. Reach the lion through your mind."

He looks a little lost.

"You want to try speaking aloud again?"

"No. I just need to calm down and focus." He says weakly.

I see that his hands are still shaking and he is still trying to catch his breath slightly.

"Relax. Practice this and it should come naturally."

When I don't hear him respond, I look over to see that his ages are closed and that he's focusing intensely. So intensely he didn't even hear me. He's putting all his effort into this. We're going to be a great team.

I close my eyes and begin concentrating as well. If the lion is new, we'd need a proper introduction. I open my mind in search of the White Lion's presence.

"White Lion, I am Princess Allura of Altea. I am your co Paladin."

I wait for a response and soon the familiar feeling that I'm not alone chills down my spine. I have reached contact with the White Lion. Similarly to the last time the lion spoke to me, I hear a child's voice. It sounds somewhat familiar, but I can't place who they sound like.

"Co Paladin isn't the term I'd use." They say.

"What would you call me then?" I ask.

"A paladin of the White Lion."

"Tell me about yourself. I'd like to bond with you."

"There isn't much to say about me."

"So you're humble." I point out.

"I was made in Adam's image but there are things that all three of us share." The child's voice explains.

"What would that be?"

"We all want peace in the end of this war. My job is to make a better future for all and achieve that shared goal."

I take note of an assuredness in the lion. A clear understanding of purpose. Is Adam like that?

"Why settle for two paladins when Adam could easily do that himself?"

"He isn't capable of bring peace alone. He needs you. You two are more alike than you might think."

"How So?"

"Your upbringing, your goals, personality traits, and losses are similar. You will find what you have in common through each other, but not me."

"You are encouraging us to bond?" I inquire.

"Yes. But I will say this one thing to you. Heed my words and do not underestimate them."

It's weird that such a young sounding voice sounds so wise. Adam can be wise sometimes, but he is kinda childish and unsure sometimes.

"I won't." I promise the lion. Or rather a lion cub would be a better description.

"Adam is stubborn about the things he hides."

The lion cub's voice is stern and pronounces every word with precision.

"What is he hiding?" I ask, beginning to feel unsure. I am sitting next to Adam after all.

"That's not for me to say. Someone important to him once said this, and it's meaning runs deep."

"What did he say?"

There is the faint sounds of static and a click. A new voice sounds and it too sounds of a very youthful individual, but as the voice begins to speak, they sound familiar.

"'Adam, people are more than the good things they put out there for everyone to see. People are also the hurt they feel, the hurt they've caused and the things they hide.'"

Forgetting about the familiarity in sound, the meaning is what strikes me.

"Has he hurt someone?" I ask.

Adam's not a very large person but he certainly is very tall and lean. Using his bare fists alone he couldn't do lethal damage to a person. He'd have to use a weapon. Did he use a weapon?!

"That's his story to tell." The cub explains but their voice becomes echoed and far away. The sudden shock and tangle of thoughts in my mind pulls me away from my focus.

Images of what could be Adam flashes in my mind and I don't like any of them. He's so kind, he's sensitive and incredibly compassionate. He could never be violent.

"Allura?"

His voice echoes in my head like a tunnel and I force myself to snap back to reality on full. It shuts off immediately.

"Allura, are you okay?"

I look around me, I'm back in the pilot seat. He's a good few feet away from me. Would he ever hurt me?

"Yeah. I'm okay. Did you bond?" I ask, hoping to side track him.

"We talked for awhile. It wasn't very long to be honest." He admits.

"What did the lion say?"

"Not much. There was a whole thing about peacemaking and the betterment of the future." He says making a few waving gestures with his hands.

"He didn't mention why he chose two paladins?" I ask.

"He said we are similar in personality." He says an intrigue in his voice.

"That's it?" I ask.

"Yeah. Did the lion say something different?"

I hesitate for a moment and look at him. Would he ever hurt someone? He's fit and capable of doing minor damage, but he's smart. He'd find a way to hurt someone but if he would, why?

"No."

"Seems like we are being treated equally then."

"Yeah..." I say, my voice trailing off in a nervous way.

"So do you think that wraps up the first day of bonding?"

"Yeah. Good work."

We do this human thing called a high five.

"I can't wait to tell the others." He beams.

"Alright but there's one last thing."

"Yeah?"

"If your the White Paladin, and we share a lion, what does that make me? White Paladin number 2?"

He cringes when I say that and then he starts thinking. I can tell because he always pushes his glasses up when he thinks.

"How about the Pink Paladin." He suggests.

"The Lion isn't pink." I explain.

"Yeah but every color adds up to white. You can be whatever color you choose. You're wearing pink right now." He says, gesturing to my jacket.

Adam's smart, but he's sensitive. He thinks about other people and he's observant. He'd never hurt anyone without good reason.

"Heh, I like the way Pink Paladin sounds."

"Then it's settled."


End file.
